Well-being - Page 8

Maintaining your physical and emotional well-being is crucial during and after divorce. Find practical advice on self-care, stress management, and personal growth, including strategies for dealing with anxiety, depression, and other emotional challenges common during this life transition. Discover tools and techniques to nurture your mental health, rebuild self-esteem, and cultivate resilience as you navigate your new life chapter.

Boundaries with the man
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The Stepmom’s Guide to Peace – Boundaries with the Man

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Erin Careless
Erin Careless
Certified Stepfamily Coach

Boundaries with the man is part 2 of a series of articles by Erin Careless on The Stepmom’s Guide to Peace. Click here for Boundaries with the Stepfamily which is Part 1.

 

I know what you’re thinking. People in love shouldn’t have boundaries!

Au contraire mon cher, au contraire.

Again, boundaries are not negative. They help you to navigate the roles, responsibilities, and expectations of yourself and others. They allow you to express your needs in a space of care and compassion.

So let’s say hubby works 9-5, and you start work in the afternoons.

He has started getting up and heading out the door without waking up the stepkids or doing anything to prepare for the morning rush that has you rousing grumpy and grumpier, throwing together lunches, and combing down hair as you run out the door to drive them to school. It’s stressful, exhausting, and you are starting to resent the sound of the door slamming behind him as he whistles his way to the car.

Let’s look at our four steps in establishing boundaries:

  1. Identify your inner thoughts.

You don’t want to say anything to your hubby because you don’t want him to think you are complaining about his kids being at the house. You don’t want to add more stress to his day and make him think you are not meeting him half way in this marriage. You don’t want him to think you don’t like his children.

  1. Challenge your inner thoughts.

Will he really feel that way about you? Does he have any idea about how much you struggle in the mornings? He’s probably not changing because he thinks there is nothing to change – he’s not a mind-reader. He knows you really like spending time with the kids, but maybe doesn’t realize how this stress is affecting your work too.

  1. Establish and implement the boundary.

Before you blow up and yell about how awful your mornings are, take some time to think about what would make this situation better.

You don’t mind driving the kids to school at all, but perhaps it would be easier if hubby woke them up and got them started before he left. Making lunches the night before would also save lots of time and stress.

Over dinner one night, when the stepkids are with their mom, you pour two glasses of wine and say, “I’d really like to talk with you about something, would this be a good time?” And then you talk about what you have been thinking and feeling.

Refrain from complaining about how grumpy the kids are – no need to hurt his feelings – but clearly let him know that the mornings are really stressful and you need a hand. Chances are he has no idea how upset you’ve been and hopefully he’s willing to do whatever he can to alleviate that stress.

  1. At the end of the school term, you talk about how much smoother the days run, now that the kids lunches and backpacks are ready to go the night before, and that dear hubby gets the grumpy faces when he wakes them up (don’t feel bad, they’re his kids!). You find you get along with the kids better than before, and you no longer shoot imaginary daggers at the door when your man leaves. You decide to keep this routine going, and if there’s the odd morning that hubby has to leave early, you don’t mind filling in at all.

Click here for Part 3 – Stepmom’s Guide to Peace – Boundaries with the Ex-wife

 

Erin is a PhD Candidate in Adult Education at Mount Saint Vincent University in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada.

A certified Stepfamily Coach, Erin has started her own business, Steplife – Stepmom Coaching and Support.

Erin and her husband Matt share their home part-time with his two kids, Oliver and Waverleigh.

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coping with divorce and health

Coping with Divorce and Health

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Women and Divorce
Wendi Schuller
Author of
The Global Guide to Divorce

Going through divorce takes a toll on emotions and can wreak havoc on the physical functioning of one’s body.

Stress puts the body on red alert, that one is facing danger and to get prepared. Chronic stress keeps the body in a hyper vigilant state instead of having down time between episodes.

Stress in divorce can particularly affect the cardiovascular system. How to mitigate the damage?  How to make sure you’re coping with divorce and health?

Take supplements with your health care provider’s guidance.

Omega 3 protects the heart by maintaining an optimal rhythm and increasing blood vessel flexibility.Stress increases inflammation in the body and Omega 3 decreases it.  The Journal of Psychiatry is studying the use of Omega 3 for people with depression and other mental health disorders.

A study done at Ohio State University on medical students indicated that it decreases mild anxiety. Participants took either a placebo or Omega 3 over a three month period. The results showed a 20% decrease in anxiety with the Omega 3 group, plus a 14% decrease in the pro-inflammatory compound interleukin 6.

Interleukin 6 can be an anti-inflammatory when within normal limits. It relays information between cells, regulates the immune system functioning and cell growth. It helps to stop colds and infections.

When the body has chronic low grade inflammation due to psychological stress, then interleukin 6 increases too much and becomes pro-inflammatory. This leads to diseases such as autoimmune disorders including rheumatoid arthritis.

Co-Enzyme 10 (Co Q 10) is an element found in the mitochondria of cells and is especially concentrated in the heart. It converts food into energy and reduces free radicals. A study at Tulane University in New Orleans indicated that Co Q 10 increased the ejection fraction (pumping ability of the heart) by 3.7%. It promotes healthy heart functioning.

Antioxidants are nutrients that include flavonoids that decrease free radicals. Free radicals are the waste products of cells that increase inflammation in the body.

Another function of some antioxidants is to deter these inflammatory elements from sticking to healthy cells. Brightly coloured fruit and tea are good sources of antioxidants, so put your feet up and enjoy that calming cup of tea.

coping with divorce www.thedivorcemagazine.co.ukBiochemical Pharmacology had an article which stated that Cucumin (derived from the spice Tumeric) decreased inflammation in ninety-seven or more “biological mechanisms.” One of these is decreasing pro-inflammatory interleukin 6.

Cucumin has been used in Ayurvedic healing for a few millenniums, particularly for gastro-intestinal problems.

Another Ayurvedic medicine that has been around for several millenniums is Holy Basil.

It reduces inflammation in the body and the stress hormone, cortisol.

Cortisol increases the heart rate, blood pressure and insomnia. Cortisol is responsible for the flight or fight response.

Holy Basil helped me to relax and get deeper sleep during my divorce. I continued to take it at least for a year post-divorce and have gotten positive feedback about it from others undergoing stressful lives.

B Vitamins get depleted when your body is under the stress of divorce. B6 is especially important for immune health. When the B6 level is low, then the production of White Blood Cells, T Cells, and interleukin 2 are decreased. These elements of the immune system fight off colds and infections.

B12 is required for cell growth and division. Middle age decreases B12 and stress does too, so consider particularly having your B 12 level tested.

Biotin is needed for the production of insulin and helps in the metabolism of glucose, fatty and amino acids. You may want to take a multi Vitamin B complex supplement. I notice that I get more headaches when I am lax taking this supplement.

Aromatherapy helped me in divorce and beyond.

Nipping into Neal’s Yard for their fabulous aromatherapy products zapped my stress and anxiety. Therapist have recommended Clary Sage for those tensions headaches that come with divorce. Spraying Lavender on your face or pillow at night is relaxing and induces sleep.

Homeopathic remedies have helped many get through divorce too. Follow the path that is most comfortable to reduce stress for you.

Wendi Schuller is a published author who has conducted classes on various subjects. She draws upon her knowledge as a nurse, Neuro-Linguistic Programmer (NLP), and hypnotherapist, providing a blueprint to guide women through this difficult transition. Schuller hired an attorney for a court divorce, but decided to go the collaborative route instead and has worked with a mediator post-divorce.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE ARTICLES BY WENDI SCHULLER

ABOUT WENDI

Wendi Schuller is a nurse, hypnotherapist and is certified in Neuro-linguistic Programing (NLP).

Her most recent book is The Global Guide to Divorce and she has over 200 published articles.

She is a guest on radio programs in the US and UK. Her website is globalguidetodivorce.com.

Don’t forget to subscribe to our youtube channel www.thedivorcemagazine.co.uk  today

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Some Humorous Quotes and for you!

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Still think that laughter is the best medicine even when going through a damn divorce!

You cannot beat a smile or a belly laugh in making you forget, even for a second, what you’re going through.  It truly helps in coping with divorce or dealing with divorce.

So no matter what, hope you enjoy the collection below!

humorous quotes www.thedivorcemagazine.co.uk humorous quotes www.thedivorcemagazine.co.uk humorous quotes www.thedivorcemagazine.co.uk humorous quotes www.thedivorcemagazine.co.uk

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life after divorce
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Home Alone after Divorce

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Caroline Palmy
Caroline Palmy

As I am sitting here, contemplating on how I feel, being home alone after divorce and with older children.

I remember, when the kids were little, how often I wished to have some quiet time, some ME time, some alone time. Yes Motherhood can be intense, especially when they are younger.

I have three kids, and there was always one or the other crying for me, or fighting with another.

When they are really young you need to keep them occupied, plan outings, you need to feed them on a regular basis, and I felt exhausted more often than not. I love being a mom, and always did.

Now that they are older it is easier.  They come down and ask, what’s for dinner or state, “I am hungry”, but they can usually get themselves a snack from the fridge, and are back in the room before I can even blink.

Yes when they were little, I longed for some alone time, and then when my marriage broke apart, all of a sudden I had every other weekend ALONE time, but that’s not what I wanted either, that’s not how I planed it not at all.

Early separation time

I remember, at the beginning of our separation, my Ex came into our house to spend the weekend with the kids, so I went away, it was winter, and I was desperate to do something worthwhile, I knew otherwise I would just sit around and cry.

I remembered how much I loved skiing, especially as a child and teen. So I went up to the mountains for some weekend ski fun. This was very healing and soothing, and helped me reconnect to who I am at the core. Fresh air, exercise and fun is all you need on your weekends alone, especially at the beginning.

Then my ex got his own flat, and as the first weekend when the kids would leave the house drew nearer, I realised I could not bare to stay alone in the house where everything was still so fresh, so I asked two girlfriends to come away with me a Spa Hotel.

We had so much fun, so much Champagne and it felt good!  I am eternally grateful for those two for keeping me company and making the transition so much smoother on one of the hardest weekends of my life, while I hoped my kids would be fine.

But  two weeks later, I had to face it all again.

This time I needed to face the empty house, there was no escaping. I braced myself.

I had been looking forward to the lie in, the silence, to just be able to do what I wanted. Unfortunately my Ex send me an email that Friday evening with worrying news about our financial state, and that brought me down into the fear state.

So instead of enjoying my alone time, I started worrying about life and my kids in general, and the weekend was gone.  I had done nothing with it apart from feeling isolated not just from my kids, but from life itself.

Sitting here now, five years later, I realize how that was a wasted weekend. How concentrating on your fears and worries doesn’t help, and how this ruined my alone time. Even if the money is tight (as you have two flats to pay etc.) there is always a way of making the most out of your precious ME time.

Go for it, you deserve it.

Getting used to it

Needless to say, I got used to my weekends alone.

I planed some fun outings with friends when I felt like it or I had a good book ready to start or a movie to watch.

I intentionally did NOT read any emails during the weekend, I knew if there was an emergency I would get a call.

I was partly planning my weekends, and partly seeing how I feel and go with the flow. I personally needed some planning, as otherwise I would have gotten into the dump, crying all weekend, and not enjoying my free time. Don’t get me wrong, crying is very important and very healing.  One has to let it all go and let the tears flow, clear out your heart and start healing.  Still I felt like I needed to have some joy while being free to do so.

Nowadays

Now I sit here, and feel very weird without any of my kids near by.

Home Alone After Divorce www.thedivorcemagazine.co.uk
Ask yourself what you would like to do. Treat this as if it was your evening out and you had hired a babysitter. Go do that now.

They haven’t visited their Dad for the last three years.  I hadn’t had a weekend on my own for three years. One child or the other was away on trips or outings, but there was always one or two around. The times I spent away on courses I do not count, as there I was busy, and not at home.

It’s the at home alone that hits me. I enjoy the peace and the quietness, alas now that they are older, 17, 14 and going onto 11, I do have a lot of free time. I don’t feel so tied down anymore.

I enjoy my freedom, while they are around. Yet having an empty house is really weird.

It is only for a couple of days, and then they will come home one after the other, and I know by the time I have adjusted to my alone time, they will start coming home.

Adjusting

It is an adjusting period, a learning period, a research trip.

If you like. I am sitting here, contemplating, on what do I want?  That is a new.

Usually my daily life is dictated by the needs and activities of my kids, now I can do what I want.  So what do I want?

What do I like to do? Maybe hiking!  It would be fun up onto the mountains. Yes that would be lovely, alas it is raining right now and not only am I a good weather hiker only, but also it is dangerous on slippery grounds.

So now, I can travel within, learn about my needs and likes, again, on a new level, and do some research into Caroline, myself, and my life.

This is a wonderful healing opportunity too; making peace with all that happened so far, enjoying the present and having a positive outlook on what is to come into my life. It’s a wonderful couple of days I can get a taste of what will be in a couple of years when the kids have left the house and I am starting another new life again. Isn’t it wonderful, that we have never fully learnt all about life. That life brings us wonderful new experiences, and that we can enjoy each day as it comes, and make the most out of it.

What to do

If you are new to separation, if you are facing the first couple of weekends without your kids, here are some thoughts:

  • Ask yourself what you would like to do. Treat this as if it was your evening out and you had hired a babysitter. Go do that now.
  • Also have some friends on call, in case you could do with a hug or a talk.  It’s ok to get overwhelmed and feeling alone.
  • Do you like sport?  Go do it, try it or try something new or just go for a walk.
  • Watch a movie or have a good laugh with a friend.

But try to have some free time, don’t plan excessively as you might just feel like you need to digest this new situation.

  • You could have a PJ day at home with breakfast in bed reading the newspaper. What bliss not having to get up and feed some hungry kids!  You can declare the kitchen closed and get take away.
  • If you like, cry, and let it all go, anything that you feel like is perfect for you at that time. Do what feels right for you.

You won’t believe me, but those weekends are over faster than you think!  You will have your kids back in your arms soon and there might be a moment or two you feel like, oh that was a quiet and peaceful weekend, maybe.

I wish you all the best on your new journey

It is an adventure and a wonderful opportunity.

Love, Laugh and have fun and most of all enjoy!

Caroline

Don’t forget to subscribe to our youtube channel www.thedivorcemagazine.co.uk  today

Find more articles by Caroline here – Caroline at The Divorce Magazine

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How to Keep a Relationship – John Gottman

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How to Keep a Relationship with John Gottman

Brilliant talk by Dr Gottman – the man who can predict within 3 mins of watching a couple in a conflict discussion, he can predict 96% accuracy how the conversation will go and whether a couple will get divorced or not, how happy they’ll be.

He talks about how to keep a relationship by changing how you deal with conflict and what really is the cornerstone of a good relationship.

I think you will be surprised by most of the things you hear here.

What are the factors that contribute to the demise of a relationship?

Listen to this talk, broken down in four parts, and just try and see what it is that you may do in your own relationship.

If you have contempt in your relationship, you really need to listen to this!

What he talks about:

  • Relationships that stay together but remain unhappy? “People who stay together and are unhappy, eventually lead parallel lives.”
  • What about respect, where does it come in?
  • What is the one thing, the one ingredient that is important in making a relationship work?  You will be surprised by the answer you get.
  • Honouring the role of fathers.  “What is the secret of keeping dads involved with babies is to have low conflict with mum and more intimacy with her”

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Reiki wellness

Divorce Help – Reiki Healing

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Natasha Reiki
Reiki Practitioner

It is during these times that we really need to remember to look after our minds, bodies and spirits.

We all know this, however dealing with and organising self-care, in the big grand scheme of traumatic relationship breakdowns is sometimes, well just slightly further down the list of to do’s. So we forget to help ourselves and that is when our stress levels ramp up, leaving us existing on, well, not very much.

So I wanted to tell you all about Reiki, this amazing stress busting tool which helped me, my children and Ex enormously through our separation and divorce.

Reiki is a form of healing rediscovered in ancient Tibetan Buddhist texts by a Japanese minister in the late 19th Century. Pronounced “ray-kee” the term in Japanese means “universal life force energy”. Rei means universal power and essence and Ki means vital life force energy and is the equivalent of Chinese Chi or Indian Prana.

I love Reiki, so I completed a Reiki course in the Middle East about six years ago and I have found Reiki has had a profound effect on my well-being and health. Reiki rebalances, relaxes and renews your internal energy system.

It is this sort of help that I needed when I began my divorce journey over 18 months ago. I had not really hung out with my Reiki since my training until I rediscovered it one day whilst going through the very sad and painful process of dividing up our worldly chattels.  This piece of paper literally fell out of a book and landed at my feet, I picked it up, unfolded it and these were the words I read by Dr Mikao Usui

Reiki HealingThe 5 Principles of Reiki:

Just for today, I will let go of anger

Just for today, I will let go of worry

Today, I will count my many blessings

Today, I will do my work honestly

Today, I will be kind to every living creature

And I sat on the floor, holding these incredible, resonating and beautiful words and I cried. I cried a lot and I felt as I cried these tears, that I was releasing so many fears and letting go of ‘stuff’ that I was carrying around with me. Yes I so wanted to let go of anger, worry and I really wanted to be kind to everyone whilst going through my divorce.  I was so tired of hurting and being so fearful, full of sadness and grief.

So what was I doing not giving myself Reiki?

Reiki wellnessIn the very action of giving oneself Reiki I was acknowledging my worth as a kind, loving and respectful person.  Giving Reiki to myself was the most fantastic step in helping me feel calmer, more in control and empowered to let go of some of the ‘stuff’ I was holding on to.

My children also totally love Reiki and are amazingly receptive to it. If they are feeling upset, worried or they have aches and pains I am able to use Reiki to help them.  This is a most gorgeous gift a Mum can give her children. It is incredibly bonding and stabilising as well for your children to know you can help them in other ways to feel less anxious.

Reiki is a great stress buster. The treatment is relaxing, calming and the wonderful training I was given has been invaluable during the last 18 months. If you can, try to find a local Reiki teacher, get yourself on a Reiki course and learn too. There are so many courses now around the country being held during the week and at weekends.

You then get to help all those beautiful people around you feel great.  Or, if you just want a wonderful relaxing treatment, find a therapist close by – Reiki always makes me feel wonderfully sleepy. Having a Reiki trained practitioner help to ease away worries and stress aches and pains connected to your divorce….why would you not?

for more on Reiki Healing – Natasha – Divorce Goddess

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LOOKING AFTER YOURSELF
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Dealing with Divorce in 3 Steps – Looking After Yourself

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Looking After YourselfIn this interview with Sandie Martel of Be OK Therapy, the UK’s Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller interviews her about the third of 3 key pieces of advice, taken from Sandie’s personal story to help you cope with your divorce in the best possible manner.

Looking After Yourself

“The last piece of advice I would like to give in this series of three articles, is that you learn to love yourself and to take care of yourself”

“I know we lead such busy lives, going to work, running our own businesses, looking after the kids, the home, the car, making sure everything is in order…

What about you?

What do you actually do for yourself?

Do you take time just for you (without feeling guilty!)?

OK you might watch TV once in a while to relieve the stress in the evening, but do you actually spend time with yourself at all? Take time to listen to your own desires, learn to know yourself, deal with your own issues?

It is important that you do so regularly and rather early on during the divorce process.

Because divorce will drain you physically and emotionally and you need to be able to deal with anything that comes your way, taking time to look after yourself is critical.

I was glad I had all the tools I needed to BeOK when receiving my Decree Absolute, first because it is an important step, but also because the official divorce date was stated as 14th February.

What a great date for a divorce!

 

Help yourself to help your kids and claim your life back.”

Suzy Miller is the creator of Divorce in a Box and Divorce First Aid Kit, The Alternative Divorce Guide 

Follow Suzy Miller on Twitter and Facebook

Follow Sandie Martel on Twitter and Facebook

Check out Part 1 and Part two of Dealing with Divorce in 3 Steps.

 

 

 

 

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Changing Your Name After Divorce
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Dealing with Divorce in 3 Steps – Take your Time

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SuzyMillerBW-WebIn this interview with Sandie Martel of Be OK Therapy, the UK’s Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller interviews her about the first of 3 key pieces of advice, taken from Sandie’s personal story to help you deal with your divorce in the best possible manner.

Divorce can be a very messy and devastating experience – so when dealing with divorce ……

Take Your Time!

The first thing you wish for when starting the process is a quick divorce, in the hope that it will help you start afresh sooner, so that you can finally leave the past where it belongs.

We all want that.

However, my advice to you is to take your time.

Why?

Simply because our state of mind constantly changes as time goes by and the divorce carries on. You are going to have to deal with lawyers, the stress your children are going through, pressure from your job, your ex maybe and your new life.

To start with, you really wish to be done with this extremely stressful and painful process. You are even ready to leave the financial side behind and do exactly as your ex wishes.

I know you want to keep a good relationship with your ex. But you can still do so while actually taking the time to consider all your options and think about the future, your future. Even more so if you have children.

I personally did not want to hear about the financial implications at the start of the process, but as time went by, I realised how difficult life on my own with 2 kids was, and I had to think about my kids first.

When you are dealing with divorce, it’s not about having the quickest divorce. It is not a competition, it is not a game.

It is better to listen carefully to what your lawyer and financial adviser have to say, however you don’t have to do exactly as told obviously.

But trust me, if you don’t consider the finances, you might end up regretting your decisions and chances are it will have a huge impact on your life, your childrens’ life and your future relationship with your ex.

Think about it.”

Look out for part 2 of Dealing with Divorce tomorrow!

Suzy Miller is the creator of Divorce in a Box and Divorce First Aid Kit, The Alternative Divorce Guide 

Follow Suzy Miller on Twitter and Facebook

Follow Sandie Martel on Twitter and Facebook

 

 

 

 

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thriving after divorce
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Thriving after Divorce – not just Surviving

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Parental Alienation
Marie Abanga

It’s been a little while since my last article for The Divorce Magazine.

I was quite unwell and a couple of times where I found myself wondering how I would like to be remembered when I’m no longer here.

Would l want to be remembered as that woman who got married because all she was looking for was a refuge?  No, not just that.

What about as the woman who ‘fled’ her marriage leaving her kids behind?  There was certainly more to it than that.

Then it dawned on me that I had survived divorce but when I looked up the definition of “survive” in the Webster Dictionary, I wasn’t satisfied:

“to live beyond the life or existence of; to live longer than; to outlive; to outlast; as, to survive a person or an event.”

Then a better word came to mind, Thrive. This I think is better than survive right?

Thrive: to prosper in any business; to have increase or success.

Yep, I found it!

I am thriving after divorce and succeeding in my new business of moving past my divorce. I don’t know about you but I believe that usually after a divorce we think it’s all finished, to say the least.

How do I know I’m thriving and not just surviving?

Firstly: I left my Country. I needed to do this. It was too much to bear.

thriving after divorce
Dubai was my escape destination.

I couldn’t stay there and not be able to keep my sons because I didn’t have a home of my own, a steady income, any support, not even the will to engage in those fierce legal battles which often follow a divorce.

Worst of all, I was the one who abandoned the marriage.  

I escaped to Dubai, but just couldn’t survive out there and had to return home a bigger ‘loser’ than when I had left.   My next move was to Tanzania where I lived and worked for one year.   When my contract ended, I returned home to a ‘what next?’.  My next and final move was to Brussels in January 2013.  

 

Secondly: I met my Darling Darling: Yes, life goes on after a divorce.

At some point I felt ready to embark on another soul journey in search of a soul mate. After a divorce,we can be truly fragile regardless of what we portray to others.  Well, I speak for myself.

After I left, I dated a series of men and even went out to meet one in Dubai even though I knew he wasn’t going to be my ‘special’ and hopefully ‘final’ one.

thriving after divorce
…when I landed and settled down in Brussels, I set out to look for a soul mate.

In Tanzania, l flirted with a 50 year old divorced father of four and an Indian Moslem of 65 (who told me he had a youthful spirit in spite of his age) but I couldn’t go there, not even for the fun of it!  I was however glad to meet him, share a flat with him and cook for him as long as he paid for my services with cash.

My next and final move was to Brussels in January 2013 and  when settled down, I set out to look for a soul mate.

No ‘real’ body however spoke to me on the streets or wherever and I was almost giving up. So I turned to dating sites. I dared and tried signing up to a couple but couldn’t pay the fees.  I gave it one more go and  got two interests. I threw my ‘dice’ and picked the one who is today my DD; Well, we both did the picking and recently celebrated our first anniversary. After all, who says the likes of ‘us’ do not deserve some ‘real’ love?

Thirdly: I wrote my book 

I wrote and self published my book. This is a big feat for me and it was , hmm, therapeutic! It even got my ex and I to finally get to start talking again in depth.  

I’m so happy with myself and my DD  for all his love and support.  I had to and still do have to overcome several obstacles within and without my family, community, society but I continue to THRIVE!

I will be going home in June to see my boys.  I am moving on even though my emotions and wellbeing continue to be affected by a mix of things but optimism than anything. I have taken great leaps and bounds.

I sincerely think it is up to us to choose if we, after a divorce, will only Survive or  THRIVE!

Marie Abanga – Follow Marie on Twitter

Author of My Unconventional Loves: My Hurts, My Adulteries, My Redemption

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How to be Happy Alone

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We speak with Rebecca Norrington – the Happiness Specialist.

Coping with divorce or dealing with divorce can be hard but it can be done and you can be happy again.  So many of us are constantly in pursuit of happiness and Rebecca shares with us in these three videos how we can achieve happiness again.

The founder of The Divorce Magazine, Soila and Rebecca share some of their own personal experiences of divorce, anger and shame.

  • How do we deal with a conflictual ex-partner, friends and family? (Video 1)
  • How do we deal with anger? (Video 1 and 2)
  • Do I keep playing the blame game with all that happens around me? (Video 2)
  • What about forgiveness?  How to Forgive and How to Forgive Yourself (video 3)
  • How does self-awareness help you when in pursuit of happiness?
  • How to be Happy Alone
  • How to be happy always

Divorce and failure go together and throw in shame too and it can be hard to cope and move on from that broken relationship. Unsuccessful marriages are common but you don’t have to carry it with you forever.

Having inspiring thoughts that uplift can help. Negative thoughts hold you back and keep you low. Acceptance is the key. It has happened and that’s just how it is.

How to be Happy Alone

Follow Rebecca Norrington – Twitter  | Facebook | YouTube

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Boudoir Poses

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Boudoir Poses
Sharon Simpson
Boudoir Photographer

To celebrate the upcoming holiday Mother’s Day we thought about some gifts we mums could give ourselves or request from others:-)

So we begin with BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHY and we had the pleasure of speaking with Sharon a wonderful boudoir photographer about boudoir photography and the joys of it all.  But be careful, you may just become a boudoir diva in the process!

You probably ask, “What is boudoir photography and artistic photography?” Well Sharon will tell you all about it.

Sharon is one of the best photographers in the world of boudoir photography with a wonderful boudoir gallery on her website.

Her work includes:

  • black and white photography
  • plus size boudoir photography
  • boudoir ideas
  • boudoir wedding photography
  • boudoir poses and boudoir photography poses

“If I could create an experience for women to feel beautiful, sexy, sensual and valued I would, but I don’t have to because it already exists in boudoir photography.” – Sharon Simpson

Her work includes some amazing boudoir images.

You can follow Sharon here Twitter

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Coping with Divorce – Instead of Self-Medicating…

Published on
Women and Divorce
Wendi Schuller
Author of
The Global Guide to Divorce

Self-medicating is an unhealthy way of dealing with acute stress and people shared how they survived divorce and beyond without hitting the bottle.

Gardening is what got Aiden through a tough divorce situation, and is a wonderful way to center oneself by taking care of plants.

They depend upon you, giving purpose and focus with a daily routine to your life. Aiden looks forward to and is rewarded by vibrant flowers and organic vegetables.  He has a connection to others by sharing his bounty.

Jane got in a singles group post-divorce with both genders to meet a variety of people for friendships. She also joined a women’s group since many others had relationship woes and understood what she was experiencing. They have been in similar situations and can impart their insights.

Lastly, Jane became a member of a divorce group who discussed the specific aspects of this situation, such as visitation and in-laws.  Jane felt these three types of groups gave her an outlet for dealing with divorce rather than by heavy drinking.

Marlie said during a stressful time, a bottle of wine calls out to her. She avoids temptation by bolting out of the house for a latte or manicure, a way of nurturing herself without the booze. Marlie stated that she would still have to face the problem the next morning and would rather do so without a hangover and headache.

Polling people provided more tips to avoid self- medicating, such as by subscribing to a web site that sends positive quotes and affirmations your way. Katy endured an acrimonious divorce by “going to a place away from everyone to get centered.” This was in a quiet room in her house or in nature which instilled clarity and calmness for subsequent court dates.  Ethan adopted a cat right after his divorce for companionship to prevent loneliness. He now volunteers with a cat rescue organization.

If still feeling the desire to self-medicate, then seek medical assistance. A course of anti- depressants may be helpful with therapy.  Remember chocolate does wonders for boosting one’s mood.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE ARTICLES BY WENDI SCHULLER

ABOUT WENDI

Wendi Schuller is a nurse, hypnotherapist and is certified in Neuro-linguistic Programing (NLP).

Her most recent book is The Global Guide to Divorce and she has over 200 published articles.

She is a guest on radio programs in the US and UK. Her website is globalguidetodivorce.com.

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