going through divorce - Page 3

Write Away with Linda
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Write Away with Linda

Published on
Linda Simpson
Linda Simpson
Divorce and Parenting Consultant
Writer and Speaker

Write away the past and write into your future.

When I found myself alone after a traumatic divorce, there were two things that got me through those first few years. There was my lifesaver counsellor who helped me find my dignity and self-worth again. And there was my journal. Every day for years I told my journal what I was feeling and gradually I began to see myself again.

With this ‘write away’ series, I will give you writing tips and some journaling ideas. Both of which I hope will help set you on the path to your future.

In those early days of your new life, it is important to focus on small and manageable achievements. Sometimes my greatest sense of gratitude was that I had made it through the day at work and got myself home again.

Let us begin at the beginning.

Find a beautiful notebook you like. There are so many choices today and having the right journaling notebook should mean that when you pick it up the book gives you a sense of belonging. This is your life and your journal. That is the way you want to enter your journaling experience.

Then consider the best time in each day that would work for you. For me, it was always just before I turned out the lights. It was quiet and I could reflect on the entire day.

Sometimes just getting started is the biggest hurdle. Your mind fills with questions of what you should write about and that can be a barrier to taking that first step.

Keep it simple.

Your journal entry can be “today I…”

Then can follow an account of what you did, where you went and the people you saw. If it was a home day, the same thing applies. Where did your day start and then where did it go. Do not worry about it sounding mundane. There will be times when it is a recount of the day’s events and other times it will be a day of great insight. Both are helping you find your future.

We read the benefits of gratitude and know that being grateful is an extremely healthy exercise. Once you can look at your day then consider what part of it brings gratitude. Perhaps you are grateful for getting through the day and that is enough. Separation and divorce can be a time in our lives when we are hardest on ourselves.

If you are critical of yourself then qualify it. I did this, thought this, said this, because…

The pain of separation is fierce and stumbling along the way to your future is part of the healing process.

If you feel comfortable about digging deeper into your feelings, then do so. One mantra I subscribed to during those years was that a journal never tires of hearing the same thing. If you want to rage a bit –rage a bit. But reread your journal and make sure you can see a balance.

One of the most helpful writing tips I ever received was to read aloud what I have written. When you read aloud what you have written then write about what you heard. It might be you heard your pain. It might be you heard hope.

Be patient with yourself. Everyone is on their own timeline to recover from a separation and divorce. We can become so critical of ourselves because life is not changing fast enough. Or during the day, we did something we regret. There will be many days like that. Avoid being critical of yourself. Our self -talk should focus on encouraging us through every day. Everyone, whether going through a divorce or not, makes mistakes. All these years later, there are still some things I said and did that are cringeworthy. I cannot change the past. I did and said whatever it was. I own them and I have moved on.

A journal is a private place we can go. It is a safe space. And it is your friend. There will be no criticism from a journal. It will never get tired of you repeating yourself.

Journaling will take you on a path of self-discovery. You will find insight you never realised you had. You will find wisdom you never knew you possessed. I hope it soothes your soul.

Read more articles by Linda Simpson.

Letters to Linda Disclaimer

About Linda Simpson

“I take strength from your calm, your honesty, and the hope you give me for my future.” Cheryl 

Linda is a fresh voice in the divorce advice world. She offers a pragmatic, common sense approach to life after divorce issues based on over twenty years surviving and thriving following a very traumatic divorce.

As a single parent, her sons are an enormous source of joy in her life. She is a loving mother and grandmother to four delightful grandchildren.

She holds a degree from the University of Waterloo with concentrations in sociology and philosophy and guidance counselling certification from Queen’s University.

She is an accredited trainer for The Peace Education Foundation, a leader in conflict resolution training. The institute is ‘dedicated to educating children and adults in the dynamics of conflict resolution and promoting peacemaking skills in home, schools, and community.’

In a long and successful teaching career, she also served as a counsellor and workshop facilitator for SEL (social emotional learning) programming and The Peace Education Foundation throughout her school and school district and was a frequent conference presenter for SUNY Potsdam Faculty of Education USA.

She writes for The Divorce Magazine UK and her blog is seen regularly on Huffington Post Canada where the focus is life after divorce and parenting issues.

She is a writer and poet and is presently at work on a book based on her divorce experience.

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I'm a Divorce Solicitor: Here Are My Top 5 Tips for an Amicable Divorce
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I’m a Divorce Solicitor: Here Are My Top 5 Tips for an Amicable Divorce

Published on
Lauren Laverick
Lauren Laverick
Solicitor
Beecham Peacock Solicitors

The most recent data from the Office for National Statistics (ONS) revealed that England and Wales processed 80,057 divorces in 2022, the lowest amount since 1972. Whilst this is positive for most, there is still a huge proportion of marriages that end in divorce – 34.2% on average, based on the ONS statistics.

For most, going through a divorce is one of the most challenging periods in their lives – “I love you, but I’m not in love with you”, “It’s just not working” and other cliché phrases leave people feeling blindsided, frustrated and angry.

Despite this, it’s in everyone’s best interest if divorce proceedings are resolved amicably, especially if children are involved. Divorces which are taken to court, where one half of the couple is blamed for divorce, are expensive, lengthy and only serve to build resentment.

Remaining amicable in heartbreak is easier said than done, so to help struggling singles move on with their lives, we asked Newcastle family law solicitor Lauren Laverick from Beecham Peacock for expert advice on achieving an amicable divorce.

Leave social media out of it

“It might be tempting to vent relationship frustrations on social media, but airing your dirty laundry online can have serious negative consequences during the divorce procedure,” says Lauren. “Anything you post online can be used as evidence in court, with negative or inflammatory posts about your ex being used as proof of behaviour or character. These are the points of contention which could seriously complicate matters concerning child access and contact, as well as spousal support.

“Speaking from an emotional perspective, negative social media posts, comments or interactions can be perceived as harassment and be incredibly distressing,” they continue. “Negativity online can escalate grievances and make amicable separation harder to achieve, especially if the spectacle is public and can be witnessed by friends, family or your children – involving others in a personal matter.

“Ultimately, it’s best to leave social media out of it, and if communication breaks down, communication instead should only be conducted through a third party – ideally a divorce solicitor.”

Talk to your children

“For children, divorce can become a traumatic experience if dealt with poorly,” Lauren continues. “It’s important that you communicate to your child openly and honestly, reassuring them that their family aren’t going away, but reshaping.

“Children who do not yet understand the delicate and complex nature of relationships may feel as though one half of their parents no longer love them,” they add. “This is also why you should not argue with your ex-partner in front of your child or discuss grievances with them. Your child loves both of you and will likely be mourning the original composition of your family, any attempt to persuade them to ‘pick a side’ is unhelpful and will only cause resentment.

“From a legal perspective, a child who is better informed of the separation will be more receptive to child access times once proceedings are finalised, which is best for both parties.”

File for no-fault divorce

“Introduced on April 6, 2022, no-fault divorces are the ideal option for an amicable separation,” says Lauren. “They reduce potential conflict by removing finger-pointing and absolving either party of any blame for the breakup.

“The removal of blame reduces animosity, instead allowing the couple to focus on more important and practical issues – such as child access, contact and splitting assets,” Lauren continues. “No-fault divorces are also much cheaper as the dispute will not be taken to court, maintaining the privacy of the breakup by keeping grievances out of the public record.

“Not to mention, no-fault divorces are the quicker and simpler option for separation, helping both parties move on with their lives as soon as possible.”

Consider a collaborative law process

“When you start the process of contacting a solicitor about your divorce proceedings, you may want to consider a collaborative law process. This is a newer way of dealing with family disputes, where both parties appoint their own lawyer, but then meet face-to-face to resolve the outstanding issues and proceedings,” Lauren explains.

“This is a very cooperative approach to resolving your divorce, encouraging respectful communication and allowing the couple to have greater control of the outcome. Like no-fault divorces, this process is quick, less expensive and avoids court proceedings.

“Many couples find this a more amicable way of conducting a divorce as it encourages the couple to work together to make decisions on what’s best for everyone involved, including the children. By working together, often couples reach a more understanding solution. However, this method of separation is not ideal if communication has already broken down and working together in this way is likely to cause further tension.”

Contact a professional sooner rather than later

“It’s essential for couples to lean on the expertise of professionals during the divorce proceedings – the earlier this is done, the quicker you’ll get towards reaching an amicable solution,” Lauren says. “Professional divorce solicitors aren’t only knowledgeable, they are non-judgemental and offer an objective viewpoint of this situation. This is helpful in ensuring a calm and rational response to a breakup at a very difficult and emotionally charged time.

“It’s important to investigate the services of a few different solicitors to find one which best aligns with you and your situation. Your solicitor will have your best interests at heart, and should aim to help negotiate a fair and equitable separation which is best for all parties involved – making sure there is no residing resentment after the proceedings are finalised.”

Are you in the process of a divorce and don’t know where to start? If so, we wish you and your partner the best and hope this advice has been helpful in bringing the relationship to an amicable end.

Read more articles by Lauren Laverick.

About Beecham Peacock

Established in 1953, Beecham Peacock is one of the North East’s leading law firms with a wealth of experience in a myriad of different legal fields. Its team of expert solicitors includes specialists in wills, trusts and probate, personal injury, family law and employment law. The firm also offers a wide range of other legal services.

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How to Prepare for Divorce: Steps to Take Before Filing
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How to Prepare for Divorce: Steps to Take Before Filing

Published on
Chris Sweetman
Chris Sweetman
Editor at The Divorce Magazine
Director at Fair Result

Sponsored post by Fair Result.

Divorce is an emotional and life-changing process. If you’re considering ending your marriage, knowing how to prepare before you file can make a significant difference in the outcome. With the right preparation, you can avoid common pitfalls and protect both your emotional wellbeing and financial future. Whether you’re seeking guidance on the divorce process or looking for effective divorce solutions, this guide will walk you through the essential steps to take before filing for divorce.

Step 1: Evaluate Your Reasons for Divorce

Before filing for divorce, it’s important to take the time to reflect on why you want to end the marriage. Divorce is a major decision that affects your life, your children (if you have any), and your finances. Ask yourself the following questions:

  • Have you considered marriage counselling or therapy?
  • Is this a temporary conflict or a long-term issue?
  • Are you financially prepared for the divorce process?

If you’ve weighed the pros and cons and feel that divorce is the right path, then it’s time to start preparing.

Step 2: Prepare Financial Documentation

One of the most important steps before filing for divorce is organising your financial records. Divorce settlements heavily rely on accurate and complete financial information. Collect the following documents:

  • Tax returns (last 3–5 years).
  • Bank statements and financial accounts (savings, checking, retirement).
  • Investment portfolios.
  • Mortgage and property information.
  • Pay slips and employment records.
  • Debts (credit cards, loans, etc.)

These documents will provide a clear picture of your financial standing, making it easier to negotiate a fair divorce settlement. If you’re looking for divorce solutions that can help you manage this process efficiently, consider reaching out to Fair Result.

Step 3: Understand and Prepare for the Divorce Process

Divorce laws and processes vary depending on your location. In the UK, you can file for divorce using one of two methods: a sole application or a joint application. It’s crucial to understand which option is best suited for your situation. Here’s a brief overview:

  • Sole Divorce Application: One spouse files for divorce without the other’s participation. This may occur when the divorce is contested, or the spouses are not on good terms.
  • Joint Divorce Application: Both spouses agree to the divorce and file together. This is often the less contentious route and can lead to a smoother and faster resolution.

Understanding which route to take will help you set realistic expectations about timelines and costs. In 2024, the average time from filing to a final divorce order for sole applications was around 49 weeks, while for joint applications, it was 43 weeks. Keep this in mind as you prepare for the process ahead.

Step 4: Plan for Your Children’s Wellbeing

If you and your spouse have children, their wellbeing must be at the forefront of your divorce preparations. The family court system prioritises the best interests of the children, and so should you. Consider the following:

  • Where will your children live?
  • How will custody and visitation be divided?
  • What financial support arrangements need to be made?

Make sure you understand the legal aspects of child custody, support, and visitation agreements in your area. It’s also important to keep the lines of communication open with your spouse when it comes to parenting decisions. If you’re unsure about any of these aspects, seeking advice from an experienced family law professional can help you find the right divorce solutions.

Step 5: Consider Your Living Situation

Divorce often means a significant change in living arrangements. If you’re living with your spouse, you should plan whether one of you will move out or if you will continue living together during the divorce proceedings. The decision may depend on:

  • Ownership or rental agreements.
  • Financial stability and ability to afford separate housing.
  • Custody arrangements for children.

In some cases, staying in the marital home during the divorce process might be necessary to ensure stability for the children or for financial reasons. However, if the environment becomes too toxic or stressful, moving out might be a better option for your mental health.

Step 6: Seek Legal Advice and Support

No matter how amicable your relationship with your spouse may seem, it is always in your best interest to prepare and consult with a family law expert before filing for divorce. Legal advice can help you avoid common pitfalls, such as agreeing to an unfair financial settlement or signing documents you don’t fully understand.

At Fair Result, we offer unique divorce solutions with fixed fees, ensuring that you won’t have to worry about escalating legal costs. Our team of divorce specialists is here to guide you through the entire process, sharing the financial risks with you. You pay nothing until your divorce is finalised, allowing you to focus on moving forward with confidence.

Step 7: Protect Your Emotional Wellbeing

Divorce is an emotional journey, and it’s easy to become overwhelmed by stress, anger, or sadness. Taking care of your mental health is just as important as the legal and financial aspects of divorce. Consider seeking emotional support from:

  • Therapists or counsellors
  • Divorce support groups
  • Trusted friends or family members

Maintaining a strong emotional foundation will help you stay focussed and make better decisions during the divorce process. Divorce solutions that address both the emotional and financial aspects are essential for a smoother transition.

Step 8: Budget for the Divorce Process

The financial impact of divorce can be significant, and it’s important to create a realistic budget for the process. Divorce costs can vary depending on the complexity of your case and the law firm you choose. The cost of living crisis has made many couples hesitant to move forward with divorce, but with the right legal team, you can minimise financial stress.

Fair Result offers a fixed-fee structure, meaning you won’t pay anything until your divorce settlement is finalised. This innovative approach allows you to avoid unexpected fees and prepare your finances with confidence.

Why Early Divorce Preparation Matters

Preparing for divorce before filing can save you time, money, and emotional stress. By following these steps and seeking professional guidance, you can ensure that you are prepared for the challenges ahead. Divorce solutions from trusted firms like Fair Result are designed to help you through the process with minimal disruption to your life.

Are you considering divorce?

Contact Fair Result today to learn how our expert team can assist you in navigating this difficult time. With our fixed-fee divorce solutions, you can rest assured that your financial and emotional wellbeing will be protected every step of the way.

Call: 07500933818 or 0333 577 7009

Email: peter@fair-result.co.uk or chris@fair-result.co.uk

Find out more about Fair Result.

Read more articles by Chris Sweetman.

About Chris Sweetman

Chris Sweetman is an independent family solicitor and director of Fair Result – An award-winning law office who pride themselves on using innovative ways to help clients through the stress and complications of a marriage breakdown.

Chris can be contacted on 07500933818 or via email chris@fair-result.co.uk.

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Trust Your Intuition in Divorce
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Trust Your Intuition in Divorce

Published on
Wendi Schuller
Wendi Schuller
Dating Coach
Author of
The Global Guide to Divorce

During divorce proceedings, listen to your gut instinct It can steer you in the right direction. When something seems a bit off, go with your feelings rather than trying to rationalise what your intuition is telling you. When a negotiation appears to be acceptable, yet does not seem quite right, take a pause. Say you require more time. Then get in touch with your gut feelings.

What is intuition?

The Max Planck Institute in Berlin states that intuition is a “form of unconscious intelligence.” It is derived from the Latin verb intueri which means to look inside.  When feeling caught in a whirlwind of emotions, it is challenging to get in touch with your intuition. Thoughts are rapidly swirling around in your brain nonstop. Is there a message persistently trying to grab your attention? Stop and listen to it. Meditation helps many to calm their minds and be in a more receptive state. Do not try and rationalise your feeling.

HeartMath Institute describes three types of intuition. The nonlocal one is “knowledge or a sense of something that cannot be explained by past or forgotten knowledge.” You receive information intuitively of the best course of action to take. Listen without trying to analyse it.  When discussing various options during divorce, pause and get in touch with your feelings. Ask for a break when feeling uncomfortable or being pushed into something. What is your gut instinct saying?  HeartMath talks about the “interconnectedness of everything in the universe.” An example is when a person has a sudden realisation that an individual in a distant locale has died. This knowledge cannot be explained.

Do not argue with gut instinct

Listening to my instinct during my divorce saved me over £30,000.  I got the feeling to go to a grocery store where I do not shop. Then stand in front of the milk. That was ludicrous. My gut feeling seemed totally bonkers. Eventually I gave in and did that. The key person for divorce finances had decided to buy milk at that time.  My mum, husband and I had put money into buying our marital home. My mum lost the papers and the bank had been sold. I was told that I would have to give my husband 1/3 of the house value. The banker who handled this transaction a decade earlier, had remembered it and said my mother paid more and I only owed 1/6 to my husband.  I promptly called my solicitor’s office and put this woman on the line.  When I stopped judging the message, I was able to act on it.

In another case, a friend did not listen to a strong gut feeling and that later caused a problem with co-parenting. Anita felt the marital home should be sold and each of them buy a new residence. She let her husband buy her out. Instead of the teens going to two new places, they mainly stayed in their familiar rooms in the marital home after their activities. The son had visits with his mother, the daughter did not. She wanted to stay in her room and not go out. The father kept saying how Anita had left them and moved out. Two new places would have made the false claim of abandonment unrealistic. The son was able to see through it, but not her daughter. The girl still refuses to be in contact with Anita. Stand your ground and listen to your gut feeling even if you do not understand it.

Whether you feel a prick of danger walking down a deserted street or when negotiating maintenance in a solicitor’s office, be aware of your gut instinct. Your intuition has your best interest at heart.

Read more articles by Wendi Schuller.

Wendi Schuller

Wendi Schuller is a dating coach who helps people after divorce and break-ups to start dating again. She is a hypnotherapist, NLP practitioner and a nurse. She wrote The Global Guide To Divorce.  https://globalguidetodivorce.com     

She writes the Jack Jack The Cat series for children.

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Divorce – It’s a Balance Between the Emotional Stress, the Cost and the Return!
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Divorce – It’s a Balance Between the Emotional Stress, the Cost and the Return!

Published on
Peter Marples
Peter Marples
Editor at The Divorce Magazine
Director at Fair Result

Many of you know I was the founder of a progressive family law practice Fair Result with my business partner Christopher Sweetman.

The practice is not apologetic that we are a challenger brand but in the past 4 years we have become a major practice in England, with unique partnerships including the Professional Footballers Association and winning countless awards, both in the UK and Internationally.

Whist a number of our clients could be seen to be ‘wealthy’, by no means all of them – indeed 75% of them are not in this category.

We have a wide spread profile of clients, representing the whole of society and we will often take on a client who has no money to fight their divorce in terms of fees. This is exactly the reason we set up the practice.

As a non-lawyer, it never ceases to amaze me how ruthless lawyers are when it comes to their fees. I was brought up to focus on my clients and the returns would ultimately follow, not think of myself first and that customers are way down the line of those we should be focussed on.

In the past four years, I have witnessed opposing clients dropped by lawyers because they can’t see a future income stream, that client engagements are paused because lawyers don’t have visibility of their fees over the next few months and a total destain for client’s emotions and challenges.

Don’t get me wrong, we need to be paid for what we do. We aren’t a charity, but there does come a point at which clients should be respected for what they are ‘those that pay the wages and the overheads’.

We set up Fair-Result to do exactly that, client first! We do have challenges with clients paying but this is always at the end of a process, and we share the risk in that as the process progresses.

There is never a week goes by in our business where we receive a call from someone that we spoke to over 2 years ago. A call which starts in the normal way. ‘Hi, its… remember me’ followed by our response that is ‘Yes, how are things’. The same line always follows – the fact that frankly nothing has progressed in the previous two years, they have spent some money, but not a lot and are now in a place where they simply don’t know what to do, and their legal advisors are not offering much in the way of solutions.

Nothing surprises us anymore.

However, in the past three weeks alone, we have received at least five calls such as this, one with £m’s in the marital pot, another with a not inconsiderable number of rental properties and a third instance where the wife (our potential client) is starved of cash and assets, despite there being considerable funds to distribute, in the form of Public Sector pensions, a marital home and some limited investments.

During my own divorce, I used to call my former wife ‘penny wise and pound foolish’. She would argue about the pennies but forget about the substance of the whole pot we were arguing about and spend endless thousands with her lawyers arguing about where I had taken the latest EasyJet flight too.

So, what is the purpose of this article? Quite simply it is to present a position that when undergoing a divorce, you are balancing up three key things:

  • Your emotions
  • The cost
  • The reward or result in terms of financials and in many cases the impact on the children.

So, if you are arguing about £50,000 or £5m the principle is the same.

You have to invest to get the result you want, or you will one of those people calling us up after two years having got nowhere.

But I hear you say, I don’t have the cash? To fight them.

Well, that is where Fair Result comes in. The ONLY fixed fee financial divorce settlement business in the UK. And guess what, you pay nothing until the financial agreement has been signed by both parties, whether it takes us 2 months or 2 years to finalise.

We share the risk with you, our aim is to minimise the emotional stress but above all it is to get you exactly what you are entitled too.

So, stop plodding on for two years, when you know you won’t get anywhere, spending £500 here and there when that is all you can afford, getting more and more wound up about your spouse’s behaviour and spending habits.

Get it closed off, sorted out and you too can move on both emotionally and financially.

As we get older, we begin to realise that life is short, the years clock off quicker than you want them too. Why spend 2 years getting nowhere when you can contact the Fair Result team, and it will cost you nothing until your divorce is sorted – absolutely nothing.

Contact Peter at peter@fair-result.co.uk 24/7 and you will be guaranteed of a response within 30 minutes. A fixed fee, set from the outset and nothing to pay until your divorce is settled.

If you can get a better offer than this contact us and we will do your divorce for absolutely nothing, irrespective of its complexity – GUARANTEED!

Read more articles by Peter Marples.

About Peter Marples

Peter Marples – Director of Fair Result and qualified accountant, with the determination to change the way divorce is transacted. For further advice on financial settlements and navigating divorce, use the contact details below:

  • Email
  • Give the team a call – 07500933818 or 0333 577 7009
  • Complete an enquiry form

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Navigating the Division of Your Property During a Divorce

Published on
Tom Floyd
Tom Floyd
Marketing Director
Webuyanyhouse.co.uk

Divorce is a challenging experience filled with complex emotions and big decisions. Among the many issues to address, you will need to decide the fate of the family home. The family home often holds substantial emotional value, making decisions about its future particularly difficult. By understanding your options and approaching the process with open communication, you can work towards a resolution that best suits both yourself and your ex’s needs. Our guide aims to offer an insight into what to expect from the process, helping you along this challenging journey.

Understanding Your Legal Position

One of the first steps to understand is the legal side of property ownership during a divorce. If you jointly own the property, you will share rights and responsibilities. This includes financial obligations such as mortgage payments and property taxes. However, it also grants you rights to potential profits if the property is sold.

To fully gauge your legal standing and the implications for the property, consulting with a divorce lawyer is strongly recommended. They can provide expert guidance on

  • How will your financial contributions to the property impact its division?
  • How do pre-nuptial agreements influence property ownership? (If relevant)
  • The potential legal consequences of the options available to you.

Understanding your legal rights and entitlements can help you make informed decisions about the future of your family home.

At this point, it’s a good idea to consider other joint financial commitments you may have:

Joint Financial Commitments

Dividing shared finances extends beyond the property. Joint bank accounts require immediate attention. Contact your bank to inform them of the separation and consider setting spending limits to prevent unauthorised withdrawals.

Mortgage and Loan Solutions

Handling a joint mortgage during a divorce requires careful consideration. Several options exist:

  • Refinancing: Both parties can apply for separate mortgages on their new residences.
  • Transferring ownership: One partner can assume sole ownership of the property and refinance the mortgage.
  • Selling the property: If neither partner wishes to retain ownership, selling the property and dividing the proceeds is an option.

We recommend consulting a financial or mortgage advisor to help you find the best option based on your financial circumstances.

Exploring Your Options

Once you’ve clarified your legal position and financial situation, it’s time to consider your options for the family home. The primary choices are to sell or retain the property.

Selling the Family Home

If both of you agree that selling the home is the best course of action, here are some things to consider:

  • Valuation: Accurately assessing the property’s market value will allow you to determine an accurate sale price.
  • Mortgage balance: Comparing the property’s value to the outstanding mortgage will help you understand if you can cover the payments after a sale.
  • Living arrangements: Consider the financial implications of finding new accommodation.
  • Market conditions: Understanding the current housing market can influence the timing of the sale and potential sale price.

Retaining the Property

If one of you wishes to remain in the family home, buying out the other’s share is an option. This involves:

  • Property valuation: Determining the property’s fair market value.
  • Financial arrangements: Agreeing on the purchase price and payment terms.
  • Mortgage refinancing: The remaining partner may need to refinance the mortgage.

It’s important to weigh the pros and cons of each option carefully. Factors such as emotional attachment, financial implications, and long-term plans should be considered. 

Navigating the Property Division Process

Going through a divorce is typically an extremely emotional time, which can be aggravated further if you decide to sell your home. To manage this process more effectively and reduce the emotional impact on yourself, it’s vital that you try to visualise the property as a financial asset rather than an emotional bond.

Here are some strategies to help you handle the situation:

  • Prioritise Practical Considerations: Before starting the process, establish clear agreements on details like the home’s market value and the acceptable sale price. By understanding this from the start, you will reduce running the risk of misunderstandings later on in the process.
  • View the sale as a Step Forward: Selling the property is an opportunity to move on to a new chapter in your life. Allowing the sale to flow can ensure a smoother and quicker transition.
  • Consider Mediation if Needed: Disagreements are common when dealing with a property during a divorce. If they do arise, mediation can be an effective way to resolve any conflict and reach a fair agreement.

 Pricing Strategy

Determining a sale price for your property is critical in ensuring a smooth transaction. To speed up the sale, consider pricing your home slightly below market value to create more interest and attract more buyers. If this approach isn’t yet achieving the desired results and you’re eager to get the property off your hands, reach out to a property professional. They specialise in fast property sales, helping you move forward with your life without the hassle of the open market.

It’s also essential to communicate openly with your ex-partner about your expectations for the sale price. If direct negotiations prove difficult, involving an estate agent can be beneficial. Estate agents can mediate discussions, facilitate negotiations, and help both parties reach a fair agreement, aiming to keep the process as seamless and amicable as possible. 

To Conclude

By adhering to the steps outlined in our guide and maintaining open communication with your ex-partner, you can navigate the process with confidence. Remember, you don’t have to go through this alone. Estate agents and legal representatives are available to support you throughout the entire process, helping to reduce any stress or tension that may come up.

Approaching the situation with respect and care can help you reach a decision that benefits everyone involved.

About Tom Floyd

We Buy Any House have over 16 years of experience in delivering a quick and hassle-free house sale for thousands of customers. They specialise in supporting customers going through difficult life events, such as divorce, by offering a quick and stress-free property sale. Their team of specialised experts will guide you through the process, taking care of all legal aspects so you don’t have to.

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Healing the Hidden Roots of Divorce with 8 Transformative Steps
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Healing the Hidden Roots of Divorce with 8 Transformative Steps

Published on
Johanna Lynn
Johanna Lynn
Founder
The Family Imprint Institute

Divorce can feel like it shatters your world, leaving you adrift in a sea of emotional turmoil.

What if the storm you’re weathering isn’t entirely your own?

What if the undercurrents pulling you under have their origins in the lives of those who came before you?

The science of epigenetics reveals a startling truth … we carry more than just our parents’ physical traits. We inherit their emotional patterns, their fears, their struggles, and their unresolved pain.

These invisible legacies shape our relationships, the way we navigate the stormy seas of separation, and the path forwards to divorce recovery.

Inheriting More Than Brown Eyes, How Family History Colors Your Divorce

Your grandmother, widowed young, faced years of financial strain. Though you never knew her story, you find yourself obsessively stockpiling groceries, gripped by thoughts of ‘what if I don’t have enough’.

This is the echo of your grandma’s life experience, reverberating through time, amplified by your own divorce-induced instability.

You are not destined to drown in this inherited pain or financial struggle. By shining a light on the experiences that live in your family tree, you can break free from family patterns to let go of old baggage and move forward lighter.

Unearthing Your Roots

Your journey begins with exploration.

  • Map out your family tree but seeking out the family stories by asking about any difficulties and life circumstances that might be hidden in old photographs and hushed conversations.

  • Discover what experiences did your grandparents face?

  • How did your parents navigate their own relationship challenges?

  • Do any of them seem familiar to your own struggles or patterns or any uncanny coincidences?

  • Be sure to include the resilience & what family members had to overcome.

As you uncover these buried narratives, let them flow onto the pages of a journal. Don’t simply write about the facts, but most importantly, express how they resonate within you.

Do you see echoes of their struggles, similar situations or circumstances, in your own divorce experience?

Illuminating Your Path

The road ahead may seem overwhelming, but remember, countless others have walked this similar path before you.

There’s wisdom to be gained from those who have studied the generational patterns that we all have within our family. Perhaps by seeking out this knowledge and support, you can begin to untangle the complex web of inherited experiences from your own unique journey.

As you learn to recognise the echoes of your family’s past in your present struggles, you’ll gain the tools to separate your own story from theirs. By embracing this process, you open the door to profound transformation and a future shaped by your own choices, not just your inherited past.

Your divorce, painful as it may presently feel is, presents a powerful opportunity for transformation. It’s a chance to break free from cycles that may have silently shaped your family for generations.

8 Steps To Nurture A Broken Heart

  1. Set aside time each day for reflection or journalling to release what has been held inside, sometimes for years. Free yourself by intentionally letting go of resentments, hurts and old stories.

  2. Consider the connection between your family history and your own experiences. Something powerful can shift within when understanding that some of your deeply rooted patterns may have influenced some of your choices.

  3. Here are some suggested questions for you to explore:

    • Who am I now, after loving this person, sharing our lives together, who am I on the other side of this relationship?
    • What have I learned about myself?
    • How do I relate to love?
    • What have I learned about the parts of myself that I avoid in relationship?
    • What positive parts am I bringing along with me?

  1. Let’s turn your attention towards your body. Take notice:

    • What feelings are you carrying today?
    • Are some weighing you down unnecessarily?
    • Take a moment to take a few deep breaths, give yourself time each day for calming breathing exercises, to gradually lighten your emotional pain.

  1. Step into your financial fresh start. Create an outline that aligns with your newly defined values. This isn’t just about practical needs—it’s about fostering a sense of security and choices that feels supportive to your new life.

  2. Connection is key for healing. You might reach out to dear friends or those you haven’t connected with in awhile. Take a walk or enjoy time in a cafe together.

  3. Practice Self-Compassion. Treat yourself with the kindness you would offer to a friend. This helps break cycles of self-criticism that may be rooted in your family history.

  4. Get clear on what you’d like your next chapter to look like by visualising your future. Spend time imagining the life you want to create as this positive focus can be a powerful motivator during tough times.

By embracing these steps, you’re not merely surviving divorce—you’re sowing the seeds for profound transformation.

You’re cultivating self-awareness, nurturing emotional resilience, and consciously shaping the new chapter of your life.

This journey of growth isn’t just about you; it’s a ripple effect of healing that extends to your children, offering them a powerful example of resilience and the tools required for their own emotional well-being – for generations to come.

Read more articles by Johanna Lynn.

About  Johanna Lynn

Johanna Lynn is the founder of The Family Imprint Institute with over 20 years of experience. She specialises in supporting individuals navigating divorce, helping them uncover the root causes behind their separation. Johanna uses innovative mind-body techniques to illuminate how family dynamics influence relationships, providing clients with deep insights, clarity and healing.

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Preparing for Divorce – A Guide to Gathering the Right Paperwork
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Preparing for Divorce – A Guide to Gathering the Right Paperwork

Published on
Chris Sweetman
Chris Sweetman
Editor at The Divorce Magazine
Director at Fair Result

Preparing for a divorce can be an overwhelming process – especially when it comes to gathering the necessary paperwork. This guide will help you understand what documents you need and how to organise them effectively.

By being well-prepared, you can streamline the divorce process and potentially save time and money.

Having all your documents in order also gives you a clearer picture of your situation, which can be invaluable when making important decisions.

Financial Documents

Start by collecting all relevant financial documents. Having a clear picture of your financial situation is crucial for fair asset division and potential spousal maintenance calculations. Also, it’s important to be mindful of hidden assets. These typically include:

  • Bank statements for the past 12 months
  • Credit card statements
  • Mortgage documents or rental agreements
  • Payslips and P60 forms
  • Tax returns for the past three years
  • Pension statements
  • Investment account statements
  • Documentation of any debts or loans

Property and Asset Information

Gather documents related to your property and assets. These documents will help determine the total value of your marital assets for equitable distribution.

  • House deeds or lease agreements
  • Vehicle registration documents
  • Valuations of high-value items (e.g., jewellery, art, antiques)
  • Business ownership documents, if applicable

Personal Identification Documents

Ensure you have copies of essential personal documents. These documents may be required for various legal procedures during the divorce process.

  • Birth certificates for you and any children
  • Marriage certificate
  • Passport
  • Driving licence

Child-Related Documents

If you have children, collect the relevant paperwork. This information will be vital if child arrangements need to be determined as part of the divorce proceedings.

  • School records
  • Medical records
  • Child benefit information
  • Any existing custody or visitation agreements

Other Legal Documents

Gather any existing legal documents that may be relevant. These documents can significantly impact the divorce proceedings and outcomes.

  • Prenuptial or postnuptial agreements
  • Previous court orders or judgments
  • Separation agreements
  • Wills or trusts

Organising Your Paperwork

Once you’ve gathered all the necessary documents, it’s time to organise them effectively. Create a filing system, either physical or digital, that works for you. This might involve using folders, binders, or cloud storage solutions.

Make copies of all important papers. Keep one set for yourself and prepare another for your solicitor.

Store the originals in a secure location, such as a safe deposit box or a locked filing cabinet at home.

Consider using a spreadsheet to track and summarise financial information. This can be particularly helpful for complex financial situations.

Being organised will help you and your solicitor navigate the divorce process more efficiently. It can also reduce stress by giving you a sense of control over the situation.

Final Thoughts

Gathering the right paperwork for your divorce may seem daunting, but it’s a crucial step in ensuring a fair and smooth process. Following this guide and consulting with your solicitor will prepare you to move forward with your divorce proceedings.

Remember, thorough preparation can lead to better outcomes and potentially reduce the stress and duration of the divorce process.

While collecting and organising all these documents may take time and effort – doing so will ultimately serve you well as you navigate this challenging life transition.

If you’re unsure about any aspect of document gathering, don’t hesitate to seek advice from your solicitor. They can provide guidance specific to your situation and ensure you haven’t overlooked any crucial paperwork.

Read more articles by Fair Result.

Read more articles by Chris Sweetman.

About Chris Sweetman

Chris Sweetman is an independent family solicitor and director of Fair Result – An award-winning law office who pride themselves on using innovative ways to help clients through the stress and complications of a marriage breakdown.

Chris can be contacted on 07500933818 or via email chris@fair-result.co.uk.

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The Dangers of DIY Divorces
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The Dangers of DIY Divorces

Published on
Emma Alfieri
Emma Alfieri
Legal Director
Greene & Greene Solicitors

Since fault free divorce law came into effect on 6th April 2022, it has become much easier for parties to complete a DIY divorce without seeking legal advice. Whilst the changes were welcomed, the new law has resulted in many DIY divorcees not understanding the law and/or encountering problems along the way.

One common (and wrong) assumption is that the Final Order of divorce automatically prevents an ex-spouse from making financial claims in the future. This is false. The only way to achieve a legally binding financial “clean break” is for the parties to also submit a separate signed Consent Order to the Court embodying the financial agreement they have reached. If this additional step is not taken, an ex-spouse is entitled to make financial claims against their former spouse in the future, even after they are divorced and the assets have been divided.

A trigger for a financial claim by an ex-spouse months or years after the divorce could be, for example, if a former spouse later accumulates wealth, such as by inheritance or lottery win. This situation can be stressful and expensive to sort out and therefore it is always advisable to enter into a Consent Order at the time of divorce.

In some DIY divorce cases the parties may be aware of the requirement to have a Consent Order but do not take advice before signing the document.   This could result in a binding Order that excludes valuable assets or income that cannot later be re-visited.

Another common mistake is some of the less obvious assets of the marriage such as pensions and business interests are overlooked, instead focussing on property alone. The pension assets of a marriage can be some of the most valuable assets and are often ignored resulting in a poor outcome for the party with the lower pension provision.

Timing is another factor that can get overlooked. For example, a divorce lawyer would usually recommend a final Order of Divorce is not applied for until financial matters have been resolved and a Consent Order approved by the Court (but not in all circumstances). There could also be consequences if a party re-marries before they have properly dealt with financial matters.

Believe it or not, every case is different. The individual facts need to be applied to each set of circumstances. Whilst many DIY divorcees will scour the internet for advice, there are no on-line resources that provide the answer to every single situation/scenario.  That’s why is it is always advisable to take legal advice early on, even if that advice is limited to just one consultation.

In conclusion, whilst a DIY divorce will always be the cheapest option, it is important that parties going through divorce can properly understand what they need to do, when, and to consider any other factors they may not have thought about.  This will ensure parties do not find themselves in a position where their quest to save money could be a decision they later live to regret.

This article is only intended to be a summary and not specific legal advice.

Read more articles by Emma Alfieri.

About Emma Alfieri

Emma Alfieri is a Legal Director at Suffolk firm Greene & Greene Solicitors.

Emma advises on all aspects of family law, including divorce and associated financial matters, disputes between cohabitants and child related disputes.

A member of Resolution, Emma is committed to resolving disputes as positively and agreeably as possible whilst also being motivated to obtain the best possible outcome for her clients.

Since 2012 Emma has been consistently recommended by the Legal 500 on an annual basis and in the most recent 2024 edition Emma is ranked as a “rising star”.

As an advocate of fault free divorce, Emma lobbied at Parliament with other members of Resolution in 2016 to bring about the recent changes to divorce law.

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Family Mediation and ‘MIAMs’: Recent Rule Changes. Young people sitting in a circle and having a group discussion.
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Family Mediation and ‘MIAMs’: Recent Rule Changes

Published on
Emma Alfieri
Emma Alfieri
Legal Director
Greene & Greene Solicitors

Mediation Information and Assessment Meetings (MIAMs) have been compulsory in Family Court proceedings since 2014.

MIAMs – What are they?

‘Mediation’ is a method of resolving disputes through an independent third party, known as a mediator. Their purpose is to assist parties in negotiating a settlement.

MIAMs are a meeting which considers and explains the potential benefits of mediation and other non-court dispute resolution (NCDR) methods. During this meeting, the mediator will provide an indication as to the method that would be most suitable to resolve the prospective applicant’s particular dispute. If you are looking to apply to the court to settle your divorce or separation issues, it is a legal requirement that you first attend a MIAM.

The Rules – What’s changing?

  1. MIAM Exemptions:

The courts are looking to update their rules around the obligations to attend a MIAM, and, from 29th April 2024, they will be introducing various changes to reflect this.

If a MIAM exemption applies, then a prospective applicant will not be required to attend a MIAM.

Previously, an application for a MIAM exemption could be accepted in the absence of any supporting evidence. The new Rules, however, require said evidence to be attached to the application.

The courts will make an initial inquiry into whether the exemption is valid, and this will be subject to an ongoing review. If an exemption is deemed invalid, the court may direct parties to attend a MIAM, and possibly adjourn proceedings for that purpose.

In these circumstances, parties are encouraged to engage with the MIAMs because the court will take parties’ conduct into account when considering whether to make an order for costs in relation to the proceedings.

Why?

A stricter approach to the MIAM exemptions means that it will be harder to avoid a MIAM. You may be asking, what are the benefits of this? Well, by exploring NCDR at an early stage, you might be able to (amicably) reach an agreement, and avoid both the time and money involved in issuing court proceedings. Early resolution can also aid in preserving relationships; this may be particularly important in cases where co-parenting is involved.

What else?

April 2024 also brings with it a new MIAM exemption. If a prospective applicant can provide written evidence that they have attended a NCDR process within the 4 months prior the date of the court application (in relation to the same, or substantially the same, dispute to which the proposed court proceedings relate), then an exemption applies. This will ensure that prospective applicants are not unnecessarily directed to attend a NCDR. ‘Written evidence’ is obtained once a NCDR provider has confirmed that the applicant has attended.

  1. An insight into parties’ attitude:

From 28th April 2024, the court is introducing a new Rule for those commencing either financial remedy proceedings or private law proceedings related to children. Applicants who fall within the relevant criteria must now file with the court, and serve on all parties, a form setting out their views on using NCDR as a method of settling.

Why?

The court has introduced this requisite to monitor and identify whether NCDR is a suitable alternative for parties. Requiring parties to record their views about NCDR on paper will encourage them to think outside of the box (or indeed the court room) and consider whether a resolution can be achieved through other means; the benefits of which have been briefly discussed above.

What can divorce experts do?

As well as supporting you in your Family Court proceedings, divorce experts can refer you to accredited mediators that are recognised by Resolution and the Family Mediation Council, to ensure you have the best chance of success at mediating your dispute.

This is only intended to be a summary and not specific legal advice.

Read more articles by Emma Alfieri.

About Emma Alfieri

Emma Alfieri is a Legal Director at Suffolk firm Greene & Greene Solicitors.

Emma advises on all aspects of family law, including divorce and associated financial matters, disputes between cohabitants and child related disputes.

A member of Resolution, Emma is committed to resolving disputes as positively and agreeably as possible whilst also being motivated to obtain the best possible outcome for her clients.

Since 2012 Emma has been consistently recommended by the Legal 500 on an annual basis and in the most recent 2024 edition Emma is ranked as a “rising star”.

As an advocate of fault free divorce, Emma lobbied at Parliament with other members of Resolution in 2016 to bring about the recent changes to divorce law.

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Understanding Divorce Grief: 6 Key Insights
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Understanding Divorce Grief: 6 Key Insights

Published on

Can divorce be as tough as a death loss?

During my studies in thanatology, the subject of grief and loss, I encountered differing viewpoints on whether divorce can be as tough as a death loss for some people. As a certified thanatologist who has worked extensively with individuals facing both divorce and death loss, I avoid judging which of these emotional journeys is harder, as each holds its unique challenges and emotional impact. What I have come to recognise over time is that both experiences share definite similarities as life’s most significant stressors, particularly within the realm of grief. My practical experience in the grief field, having worked closely with individuals navigating through divorce and coping with death loss, enables me to empathise and connect deeply with the complexities of the divorce experience as well as the deep pain of a death loss. In both, there is the profound sense of loss, emotional upheaval, and the journey of healing that individuals may encounter, which in both cases is a unique and personal experience.

Divorce is a deeply emotional journey that can manifest in many ways

For some, the experience resembles a slow decline, similar to dealing with a lingering chronic illness that eventually reaches its end after years of struggle by one or both parties. On the other hand, some face the abrupt collapse of an unexpected divorce, leaving them bewildered by the sudden loss of what they ‘thought’ was a stable relationship, or even if they had an idea the marriage was not in great shape they had not thought their partner wanted a divorce. These diverse paths of divorce highlight the complexities of human relationships and the range of emotions individuals may encounter when navigating through the challenging process of untangling their lives from a once-shared bond. Understanding the profound impact of divorce on individuals and families is crucial, as it shapes the way we approach support, and have empathy for those going through this life-altering experience.

In divorce, the experience of grief varies for each individual

It is the death of a relationship, yet both parties continue living on. In the realm of grief, this is termed ‘ambiguous loss,’ denoting the person’s physical presence but lack of psychological or emotional connection. It can be challenging to process, as the person remains in your life but in a different role, often limited to co-parenting communication. This situation can be especially difficult for some divorcing couples who once relied on each other but now have minimal contact. Some may feel relief, while others may feel profound pain and difficulty. Both the initiators and the ones that were left do generally grieve, just at different times in the marriage and divorce process.

Divorce encompasses multiple losses

It is necessary to reorganise boundaries and establish new ways of communication with the former partner to name a few. These profound changes and layers of loss often go unnoticed or underestimated, making the process complex and delicate to navigate. Most divorcing people have to go through a lot on their own without much support. In the aftermath of a divorce, it’s crucial to acknowledge and understand the grief that accompanies this significant life change. Each person copes differently and may require support to process emotions and adapt to new circumstances. Practicing self-compassion and patience with oneself and your children during this challenging time can facilitate healing and growth as both individuals move forward with their lives apart from each other.

Another critical aspect of grieving during divorce is recognising that you are indeed grieving.

Many people have come to me, unsure if what they’re feeling qualifies as grief. They may be experiencing anger, not realising that anger can be a form of grief too. It can stem from feelings of loss of control over your life and the drastic changes happening. Grief can manifest in different ways.

Grief has physical, cultural, social, emotional, physiological, and behavioural aspects

Some symptoms can be digestive issues, sleep disturbances, weakened immune system, deep sadness, moments of relief, headaches, changes in behaviour, feelings of isolation, and even jealousy towards seemingly happy married couples. Understanding these various manifestations can help you identify and address your grief more effectively.

About Karen Omand BASoc BAThan CT

Karen Omand, holding degrees in sociology and thanatology, specialises in guiding individuals through grief, drawing from her own experiences of high-conflict divorce, parental loss, and abusive marriage. Focusing on the often-overlooked realm of grief in divorce, she co-founded the Divorceworkshop in 2021 with Kirk Mosna, aiming to empower those on the divorce journey. As a certified Grief Counsellor and Divorce Specialist, Karen advocates for greater awareness of grief in divorce, aiding both recovery and pre-decision detachment. She is the co-author of The Divorce Workbook, coming out this summer.

Alongside Kirk, she assists individuals in informed decision-making, proactive preparation, and strategic planning for healing and recovery. Her story of resilience and empathy inspires others to navigate divorce with courage. Connect with Karen on  Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn check her website Divorceworkshop.ca, or sign up for the Divorceworkshop’s newsletter.

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Child Arrangement Orders: All You Need to Know
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Child Arrangement Orders: All You Need to Know

Published on
Anthony Parrish
Anthony Parrish
Partner
Jones Myers

Child Arrangement Orders are a vital framework for promoting the well-being of children involved in relationship breakdown.

They are particularly important during emotionally challenging times such as separation or divorce, when relationships may be strained. This article shares some key insights on their role in divorce and separation.

What is a Child Arrangement Order?

A Child Arrangement Order is a legally binding order made by a court to establish who a child should live with and the amount of time they should spend with the non-resident parent or other family members, most notably grandparents.

If you are a parent, you can seek a Child Arrangement Order through the Court. Grandparents can also apply for such an order but firstly require the Court’s permission to do so. Such orders are commonly sought in cases where the parents have separated or when obstacles arise that prevent grandparents from having access to their grandchildren.

Why do I need a Child Arrangement Order?

There are numerous situations that may lead you to consider applying to the court for a Child Arrangement Order. They range from the need to establish specific arrangements for your child’s daily life to resolving disputes related to school holidays.

It’s important to recognise that each case is family specific, and seeking guidance from a specialist firm such as Jones Myers is strongly recommended to receive appropriate advice tailored to your specific circumstances.

What will a court consider when making a Child Arrangement Order?

When parties are unable to reach a mutual agreement, the court takes several factors into account which include the child’s best interests and considerations such as the child’s wishes and feelings, particularly when they are older. The court also evaluates the child’s physical, emotional, and educational requirements, as well as the potential impact of any substantial changes in their circumstances.

Additional factors taken into consideration include the child’s age, any known instances of harm or potential risks to the child themselves and the respective abilities of each parent to meet the child’s needs. These elements collectively shape the court’s decision-making process with the ultimate goal of safeguarding the child’s well-being.

Read more articles by Anthony Parrish and Jones Myers.

About Anthony Parrish

Anthony Parrish’s extensive experience in family law spans over two decades, during which time he has developed specialisms in matters relating to children law.

A member of Jones Myers internationally renowned Children’s Department, he deals with issues relating to children, teenagers, parents (including those represented through their official solicitor) and local authorities.

His expertise also encompasses international child abduction cases and same sex relationship issues.

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