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do i qualify for legal aid

As a Stay-at-Home Mum, Do I Qualify for Legal Aid to pay for Family Mediation?

Legal Aid UK
Glynne Davies
Family Mediator

In this short interview, which was a carry on from the earlier one on Legal Aid UK, I asked Glynne Davies if stay-at-home mums with no income and whose husbands are high earners, were eligible for legal aid for family mediation?

This was part of her response but you can listen to the entire interview (less than 5 mins) below:

Likelihood is that they wouldn’t qualify for legal aid because they would fall foul of the capital threshold test.

Although there are generous allowances for mortgages and for what’s called the  allowance, it’s unlikely that if you’ve got a property worth £1m or more that you’re going to qualify because the allowances are capped at £100k.

So if you’ve got a property worth a million and a mortgage worth £500k, the most they will allow on that mortgage is £100k.

If the property is in the sole name of the husband, that’s a different matter. But if it’s held in joint names then the party at that point will fall foul of the capital threshold.

If for any reason they pass the capital threshold, for instance if the property is in the sole name of the husband, then you could go on to look at their situation regarding the income. If for instance if she has access to the joint account would preclude her under the income threshold.

Glynne Davies has been a fully accredited Family Mediator since 2004. She became a Professional Practice Consultant in 2009, and a member of the Local Family Justice board since 2010.

 

Feature photo – photo credit: Filius via photopin (license)

Can I get Legal aid for family mediation
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Can I get Legal Aid to cover Family Mediation Costs?

Legal Aid UK
Glynne Davies Family Mediator

In this interview (scroll down), Family Mediator Glynne Davies, speaks of the divorce process UK and how legal aid can help those unable to afford the costs of the divorce proceedings.

When wondering how to get a divorce, you may want to consider family mediation.

Glynne answers the following questions:

  • Is legal aid still available for family mediation when going through a divorce?

Yes.   It is but not subject to any domestic abuse criteria. It’s simply a question of whether someone is financially eligible for legal aid.

  • At what point does one become eligible for legal aid?

There are two thresholds:

Capital threshold and Income threshold.

Capital threshold takes into account the value of equity in the family home as well as savings and valuable possessions. If you pass that capital threshold then you go on to look at the income threshold which includes looking at any benefits you may get getting.  If you are on what’s called a passported benefit – which is income related, job seekers allowance, ESA or guaranteed pension credit, then provided you’ve passed the capital threshold, you are passported through and will automatically make you eligible for legal aid.

If you are not on a passported benefit, then there needs to be a calculation done of your gross monthly income, any allowances that you might have that can be deducted from that, such as housing costs, children’s dependent allowances and the magical figure that you’re looking for is £733 at the end of that.

  • Does it cover both financial issues and children issues?

It covers both aspects. It covers anything that could be made into an application to the court under a family law remit.

  • What is legal aid?

For the purposes of mediation, it covers all costs that would be associated with the mediation process. Family mediators get a pot of money from the legal aid agency that covers the Mediation Information Assessment Meeting (MIAM), the mediation sessions and the preparation of documents as an outcome of that mediation

  • What if only one of you is eligible?

If the eligible person comes in first, so that when you see the second person for a MIAM, you already know that one person is eligible or if they come in together, and you assess the first person as eligible, then the other person, gets the MIAM meeting totally free of charge and also gets the first session totally free of charge.

This can be very helpful when talking about children’s issues or arrangements for the children because although most financial or all issues mediations take several sessions, it’s quite common for children’s issues mediation to be resolved or largely resolved in that first session.

So you could end up with a person that’s not eligible, they could even be a multi-millionaire, they would still qualify for that free first session and that could mean that both parties would have free mediation that could possibly be resolved in that first session. A big caveat, that’s relating to children’s issues only.

Other questions answered include:

  • What proof do I need to bring to show that your entitled to legal aid?
  • What is a MIAM and what role does it play in family mediation?
  • What do I need to bring to the MIAMS meeting?

Glynne Davies has been a fully accredited Family Mediator since 2004. She became a Professional Practice Consultant in 2009, and a member of the Local Family Justice board since 2010.

family mediation
Direct Consultation with Children in Family Mediation

About Family Mediation

about family mediationAbout family mediation

Family mediation is a process that enables separating couples to negotiate face-to-face about the arrangements for their future with the help of a qualified, skilled and experienced third party.

Family mediation is confidential, voluntary and impartial. All of the decisions made during family mediation are made by the couple themselves.

It provides families with a structured and safe way of resolving their differences at their own pace, with guidance from a trained professional and encourages them to focus on the needs of children and to take into account everything that individual family members believe to be important.

Family mediation can be used effectively by separating couples and families of all types, including cohabiting or same-sex couples.

About the Family Mediators Association (FMA)

The Family Mediators Association is a membership organisation for family mediators. Formed in 1988, it currently represents almost 400 trained family mediators in England and Wales.

Its members are professional family mediators trained to a high standard from a wide range of different backgrounds, including family counsellors, lawyers, financial specialists and experts in child development. www.thefma.co.uk

 

For more information on Family Mediation, how it works and how it can help you while going through divorce and the divorce process visit – thedivorcemagazine.co.uk/family+mediation

International Child Abduction

International Child Abduction – Is Mediation Possible?

Frances Place
Frances Place runs Progressive Mediation in Bristol .

Around 500 British children were abducted and taken abroad by one of their parents in 2014. That’s double the number taken ten years ago.

Ease of travel and a growth in cross border relationships have meant that that more break-ups result in difficult decisions for separating parents.

According to Leicester based charity reunite International the number of children removed abroad against the wishes of one of their parents is far higher than the official statistics show. Last year reunite’s helpline managed in excess of 17 000 calls.

Under the 1980 Hague Convention children must be promptly returned to their country of ‘habitual residence’. Courts will not look into the rights and wrongs of a custody case, but will order the return of the child to their home country for hearings to be held there.

The unfortunate effect of this is that children who have been removed from their home country and then returned there under the 1980 Hague Convention, may then face further upheaval when their case is decided in the UK courts.

An additional problem for UK parents is that many countries where their children are taken have not signed up to the Hague Convention. So parents whose children are taken to Pakistan, India, Somalia, Nigeria or Egypt face the prospect of legal proceedings in those countries domestic courts.

In cases like this it seems extraordinary that mediation between two parents might be possible, and might deliver an agreement.  The degree of acrimony and emotion is so high, there are complicating factors of cultural difference, two legal systems and possibly two languages. Despite these complexities mediation in these cases does happen and can work.

In 2002 reunite began a pilot project to see whether mediation could be possible in international child abduction cases.

They took 80 referrals, hoping that at least 20 of these would proceed to Mediation. In fact 28 of the cases went to full Mediation. In 75% of those cases an agreement was reached. And 95% of the parents involved said they would recommend mediation to others.

reunite now employs the services of around 6 specially trained mediators, who mediate around 30 cases per year.

As well as mediating in child abduction cases they mediate with parents wishing to relocate and those wishing to arrange contact across borders. Sometimes cases come to them many years after a child has been taken abroad.

The structure of these sessions is different from a domestic family mediation. It is much more intense. Three 3-hour meetings take place over two days.

International Child Abduction
International Child Abduction – Around 500 British children were abducted in 2014

One session happens on the first afternoon, then the following day the parties concerned hold another two 3-hour sessions.

Ideally the two parents are in the same room, but because of the nature of the dispute that is not always possible, so other means such as Skype or video conferencing are employed.

As anyone who has used Skype to communicate will know, it is not always easy however, a 3 way Skype is something that reunite are now trialing.

During the mediation sessions, solicitors from the respective countries are available on the phone for consultation. The desired end result is a memorandum of Understanding agreed between the two parents which can then be transferred into a Consent Order which is mirrored in the courts of both countries.

reunite International estimates that around 70% of abductors are the child’s primary carers, usually their mothers.

Most child abduction cases never make it as far as mediation. In fact perhaps only 5 % of these cases do reach mediation. But in those that do the central issue for the left behind parent is not always the wish for a permanent return, but for contact or visitation rights.

One of the worst possible outcomes in these cases would be for a return under the Hague convention, followed by a further re-return later after disputed custody proceedings with all the attendant stress and further damage to the relationship between the parties.

That a young child might face the trauma of three forced relocations is very distressing. This is why mediation can be a very useful alternative.

It is important that any attempt at mediating in these cases doesn’t delay legal proceedings.

Under the Hague Convention a final hearing should be held within 6 weeks. reunite say that if court proceedings are being held in the UK they often schedule the mediation to happen just before the court process to save travel costs for the parent.

Costs for mediation in these cases are £1,500 for up to three 3-hour mediation sessions – £750 to be paid by each parent.

However Legal Aid for mediation is automatically available for parents making an application under the Hague Convention when the child has been brought to the UK. If the child has been taken from the UK, costs depend on the legal system of the country to which the child has been taken.

In the words of one parent who has been through mediation ‘It avoids a courtroom battle, which in this type of situation only gets you to a no win situation.’

Frances Place is a solicitor with extensive experience of family law and civil mediation. She runs Progressive Mediation in Bristol with her husband Charles Place.

http://www.progressive-mediation.co.uk

Click to Follow Frances Place on Facebook and on Linkedin 

Reunite International is a Leicester based charity specialising in the movement of children across international borders : www.reunite.org

 

family mediation

Family Mediation – Divorce Solicitor

Austin Chessell www.thedivorcemagazine.co.uk
Austin Chessell

When a person is going through a divorce and separation, he/she has a range of needs: emotional needs for support to manage the change and trauma, legal advice about his/her legal rights and mediation to come to an agreement about child care and financial matters to prevent going to the court.

What does a Family Solicitor do?

Family Solicitors work within the field of the law and give advice to individual clients. Most of the time a Family Solicitor takes the history from the client to find out what the dispute may be about. The client is advised what their legal rights are. Legal language may be used but explained in layman terms to the client.

Family Solicitors tend not to have received training on psychological matters. Instructions are taken from the client based on their version of events and what their views are about matters for the children. Advice is given to the client on what will be the best form of action to take.

When financial and children matters are negotiated this tends to be done in writing or on the phone. If matters cannot be agreed or if matters do agree then an application can be made to the court.

What does a Family Mediator do?

Family Mediators meet with both partners from the start of the mediation process. The couple may not want to separate so it is explored with the couple if they plan to reconcile, have a temporary or long term separation.

If the couple do want to reconcile then the couple may be sign posted to couple counselling.

Mediators work closely with Family Solicitors and even more so now due to recent changes for separating couples to attend a MIAM (Mediation Information Assessment Meeting).

If clients want to mediate then they will need to complete an agreement to mediate.  Work with the clients tends to be over several months but there are a few cases that go on for longer than this.

In mediation we tend to focus on what is happening now and do not really look back to the past as much. A lot of the sessions focus on what should happen on the decisions on the children which may be in the form of a parenting plan and what should happen financially.

The goal of mediation is to help the couple reach proposals.

At times you have to be a referee to stop arguments escalating and get the couple to refocus to discuss the issues they have come to discuss. If one client does not feel able to talk then the mediator aims to give them the opportunity and confidence to talk. If proposals are reached then a Memorandum of Understanding and / or Open Financial Summary documents is/are prepared.

What does a Counsellor do?

As stated above, divorce or separation is a traumatic time for couples, and they may need emotional support to manage such a transition.

The Counsellor may counsel one partner on their own or work with the couple if they have done further training to work with couples. If the couple wants to stay together then the goal may be how to achieve reconciliation.

Counselling does not tend to be linked to the legal process but if the client is attending Collaborative Law the Counsellor may be involved in the room with Lawyers.

The counselling process usually starts with a meeting for an initial assessment. Depending on the needs and wishes of the clients, counselling could be long term or short term. This will usually be set out in an agreement between the Counsellor and the client(s).

Regular reviews of the agreement will be held in order to avoid drift or undue dependency on the Counsellor. While the goals of a Solicitor are to give advice to a client about his/her legal rights, the aim of the Counsellor is to facilitate and empower the client to increase his/her understanding into their problems and find solutions to the problems.

About Austin

Austin Chessell is an accredited Family and Child Mediator at FAMIA (www.famia.co.uk) across Inner and Greater London. Austin is also a Professional Practice Consultant.

Austin is a Collaborative Family Solicitor at Feltons Solicitors in Knightsbridge.

Twitter @FamilyLawLondon

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Getting Divorced using Family Mediation.

We had the pleasure of interviewing Family Mediator Nevine Bentley of Facilitate Family Mediation – a family mediation service based in Farnham Surrey – on why family mediation is a great alternative divorce process.

If you are about to file for divorce, then please do consider family mediation.

Nevine Bentley moved from being a successful family lawyer to focusing on Family Mediation with the sole aim of helping couples getting divorced be able to do so in a more civil, less acrimonious and less financially destabilising manner.

  • What is family mediation?
  • Is family mediation the same as counselling?
  • What role do family mediators play?
  • How do they differ from divorce lawyers?
  • When getting divorced, is family mediation for everyone?
  • When is family mediation not suitable in marriage separation?
  • What does the process involve when filing for divorce?
  • It is a known fact that the cost of divorce can be extremely high, how does family mediation differ in this area?

Family mediation is just one way on how to end a marriage but it remains one of the least confrontational and quicker ways to go about it.

Getting Divorced using Family Mediation – Part 1

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Getting Divorced using Family Mediation – Part 2

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Nevine is a Resolution trained family mediator and runs her own dedicated mediation practice in Farnham. Nevine brings both this training and a background in law to give fair and balanced assistance to both partners in all aspects of divorce and separation including arrangements for children and finances.

Nevine is able to sensitively bring down barriers and encourage effective communication between separating couples and navigate them to explore options to find mutually acceptable solutions to the issues which remain unresolved between them.

Nevine is qualified to undertake Mediation Information Assessment Meetings (MIAMs)

Nevine is able to offer out of hours appointments seven days a week. She is a member of Resolution and The Family Mediation Council and The Collaborative Family Law Group (http://collaborativelawgroup.co.uk/content/group)

family mediation
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Free Divorce Advice – What is Family Mediation?

Ann Corrigan founder of Clarity Family Law
Ann Corrigan founder of Clarity Family Law

When coping with divorce, we’re sure you could do with all the free divorce advice that you could need.

Here’s another question answered by Ann Corrigan of Clarity Family Law

I’ve heard of family mediation.  What is it and how does it help in divorce?

With effect from April 2014 the government has made it compulsory for separating couples to attend an information and assessment meeting (MIAM) with an impartial mediator to see if the issues can be resolved without recourse to the court.

Mediators are trained to help resolve disputes over all issues faced by separating couples, or specific issues such as arrangements for any children. A mediator will meet with you and your partner together and will identify those issues you can’t agree on and help you to try and reach agreement.

Mediators are neutral and will not take sides, so they cannot give legal advice to either of you. They will usually recommend that you obtain legal advice alongside the mediation process and will guide you as to when this should happen; however, lawyer mediators (mediators who are also qualified family lawyers) will provide general legal information to both spouses within the mediation if this is appropriate.

Ann Corrigan is founder of Clarity Family Law, a specialist family law firm in Gerrards Cross, Buckinghamshire, offering discreet, expert advice on all aspects of divorce, including the division of high value assets, children disputes and issues surrounding unmarried families.

Follow Ann on Twitter – @ClarityFamily

Divorce Mediation vs Family Court
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Divorce Mediation vs Family Court

Suzy Miller www.thedivorcemagazine.co.ukWe often hear that Mediation is “better for the children” – but when it comes to making the decision divorce mediation vs family court many people are unsure which way to turn.

Suzy Miller interviewed Divorce Mediators John Stebbing and Wendy Still of Stephen Rimmer LLP and he explains why using divorce mediation instead of the courts is a wise choice

John explained how the adversarial nature of divorce is based on recent history but how this no longer needs to be the way the process is carried out.  He spoke of a successful mediation where a father had not seen his children for 3 years, but through using mediation techniques even at the late stage of the case being handled by the courts, a clever resolution was found.

The edicts from the court were in practice unrealistic, asking the father to write letters to his small children as his only way of contact with them – yet the poor father had no way of knowing what to write because he had no knowledge of the daily lives of his children.

This whole process was taking a very long time with long gaps between court dates, which was leaving his children feeling that he didn’t care about them as he was struggling to know what to write to them.

Through mediation, the couple learned to communicate, and the father got to know more about his children which meant that he was then able to have something meaningful to write in the letters.

Mediation is known to help parties reach an agreement which is suitable to meet their own particular needs rather than a court directing what will happen in theirs and their children’s lives.  Families know what will work best for them so it makes sense that they decide how their lives will move forward.

There are also financial benefits of going through mediation as opposed to family court.  For instance, going to court very likely means taking your solicitors with you which is a very expensive process as it maybe lengthy and may entail more than one visit.

Also, the adversarial nature of the the family court route means that more likely than not, there maybe long-term damage done within the family and beyond, demolishing any existing relationship – intentionally or not.

Some people are nervous about mediation and benefit from attending an initial MIAMS session where you learn about how it works and what you can expect from the process.  Even people who are dead against it are usually acting out of fear of the unknown.

My recent experience has been that even if the parties or one of them doesn’t think mediation will help or work, they are surprised once they have attended at how helpful it ends up being.  It is, of course, now a statutory requirement (at least a MIAMS is), therefore the best that can happen is that they reach a suitable compromise between them enabling each party to move on with their lives.” says Wendy

So, divorce mediation vs family court?  You decide.

Interview by Suzy Miller of The Alternative Divorce Guide and creator of The Divorce First Aid Kit

 

 

 

 

 

 

family mediation

Family Mediation Process UK: A Fair and Shared Outcome for All

Austin Chessell www.thedivorcemagazine.co.uk
Austin Chessell
Family Mediator and
PPC

The media has recently been highlighting that Family Mediation is quicker and cheaper than going to court which I agree with but what are the other practical benefits?

Maintaining communication and continuing to co-operate as parents with Family Mediation

If children are involved and are also young it is going to be necessary to still talk to your former spouse or partner for issues such as the start times and end times of contact with your child, contact time during the holidays and special occasions, school activities, medical treatments, future schooling and the way maintenance should be paid.

The mediator is not there to provide solutions as these need to be determined by both of you but will listen to both of the parties and be flexible to discuss what would be best for all of the people concerned.

In one mediation session I have been involved with it came to light that one of the parties claimed they had not been receiving maintenance but the other party had set up a standing order to the wrong account and after this was discovered during the session communication between the parties improved dramatically.

Reducing hostility, bitterness and misunderstanding with Family Mediation

Mediators are not allowed to give legal advice but if the parties are to divorce it can be agreed during the session what fact the Petitioner is going to use in the petition and what the particulars are to be used.

In my role as a solicitor it is amazing at the amount of Petitions which are filed at court and then the Respondent asks for the petition to be amended after it has been issued which incurs a further court fee and the solicitor’s time for amending the petition.

If what is used in the petition is agreed early on this can put relations on a better platform when moving on to discuss the financial settlement and / or children arrangements.

Focusing on the children’s needs for parents to co-operate as much as possible with Family Mediation

Family Mediation Process UK
Family Mediators can help sort out financial matters too

If both parties who are using mediation can’t reach a solution for one of the issues which involved the child e.g. future school being private or public they may agree for the mediator to see the child in a separate session.

The child consultation enables the child to have a voice privately and confidentially to a mediator trained in Direct Children Consultation.

In Court proceedings the Court can ask for a Cafcass Officer to produce a report on the child’s wishes but there is sometimes a long waiting time for to report to be produced.

Avoiding a sense of winners and losers by reaching an agreed solution which have some benefit for all concerned.

Where a financial settlement is being agreed the mediator is there to be neutral and help the parties reach a balanced settlement.

At the same time if there is a particular asset e.g. a pension which one party feels particularly attached to the mediator works with the parties in a creative way so that if one party is to retain their pension the other assets can be divided in a way whereby the other party will receive a greater share of another asset.

For house contents which cannot be divided by agreement I usually ask for the parties to bring a proposed list and then the chattels can be divided in the following session. This often tends to be more cost effective than writing several letters through correspondence or having to return to court to decide on the division of items which can often outweigh the chattels value!

Mediation is not appropriate for every situation. For example where there is domestic violence, a power imbalance or where one party does not want to separate.

Not every mediation will complete the process from the initial meeting to having an agreement drawn up as mediation is voluntary and either party can opt out at any stage but I think that mediation should be attempted before any children or financial application is issued.

Any agreement drawn up in mediation will not be binding but it can then be sent to a solicitor if this is what has been agreed. The agreement can then be draft into an order which can then be filed at court which will provide both of the parties with more legal certainty.

ABOUT AUSTIN

Austin Chessell is an accredited Family and Child Mediator at FAMIA (www.famia.co.uk) across Inner and Greater London. Austin is also a Professional Practice Consultant.

Austin is a Collaborative Family Solicitor at Feltons Solicitors in Knightsbridge.

Twitter @FamilyLawLondon

 

divorce mediaiton
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Divorce Mediation vs Collaborative Law

 

Suzy Miller www.thedivorcemagazine.co.ukInterview by Alternative Divorce Guide Suzy Miller with Mediator and Collaborative Lawyer Kim Beatson of Anthony Gold Solicitors

 

What is the best way to go through divorce?

As the Alternative Divorce Guide I often get asked if my role is to guide people back into their marriage, and away from divorce.  I explain patiently each time that people need to be allowed to make their own decisions about whether they divorce or not – all I do is to wave the flag for doing it in a way that doesn’t destroy their family, even though that family is now changing it’s form.

Collaborative Divorce and Divorce Mediation are both roads that lead away from the courtroom, but some may see them as in competition.  One includes lawyers by the sides of the divorcing couple, and the other relies on an impartial Mediator (sometimes more than one) helping the couple to create their own settlement and plan a new future.

Mediator and Collaborative Lawyer Kim Beatson of Anthony Gold Solicitors is experienced in supporting couples through divorce, and knows that the choice of dispute resolution method is a very personal one:

“I would say to anyone: ‘Here is my options leaflet, giving you the choices of MediationCollaborative Law, lawyer-led mediation or the court system. It’s your choice. Think about those options carefully.’”

 

Why don’t people know more about it?

What continually shocks me is that so few members of the public have ever heard of Collaborative Law, let alone know what it means.  Kim explained to me why this is the case:

family mediation vs collaborative law
Kim Beaston

“Mediation awareness was funded by the government for a time, and Divorce Mediation has been around in the UK since the mid 80’s. Collaborative law has only been around in the UK since 2003.  The main people who have to take responsibility for the fact that the public are mostly unaware of Collaborative Law, are the lawyers. Most clients still come to lawyers as the gate keeper, and the onus is on the person taking those initial telephone calls and making those appointments to let them know that court is the last resort, and that there are preferred resolution options.  That is what I am trying to make sure happens in my own practice at Anthony Gold Solicitors.”

 

What happens if you’re not legally married?

Having gone through family change having not been legally married, I am fully aware of the lack of legal rights for cohabiting couples to protect them if the relationship fails.  This is why I am so persistent in spreading the word of dispute resolution, as a court-based approach is even more unsatisfactory for such couples as it is for those who are legally married.

With the increase in people not getting married and then breaking up post-children, I asked Kim why those couples need to become more aware of the choices open to them:

“Dispute resolution processes, whether Mediation or Collaborative, can be very useful for couples who separate having been cohabiting and who are not legally married. In this country people do not always realise that they have few rights for themselves which can be very unfair after a long relationship with children, with career and pension sacrifices.

So Mediation and Collaborative Law are perfect forums for dissolving that sort of relationship because the importance for both parties is that they are bringing their idea of fairness to the table.  They are not trying to emulate the court system and the uncertain outcome that could be achieved.  They are able to set the agenda and create their own solution to their family dispute.”

 

Does Dispute Resolution make business sense for law firms?

A phrase I often hear is: “Ah, well, law firms don’t want to encourage Mediation and Collaborative Law because they make more money from adversarial processes”.  However, I personally believe such views are very short-sighted, and I brought this question up during my interview with Kim: “I think there is a sound business model for all forms of dispute resolution.  It’s good for the client, but ensures a good cash flow for the professionals as it’s so much quicker than remuneration from court-based cases.

So there is every reason for regarding it as a complementary practice, and it creates a much more authentic solicitor-client relationship if you are not only able to offer clients the most expensive option – that of going to court.”

 

What does the future hold for dispute resolution?

My own belief that lawyers are going to lose their status as the gatekeepers to divorce is not always a popular one with divorce solicitors, but Kim had some thoughtful insights into how Dispute Resolution is evolving in the UK:

“I think this government has missed an opportunity with Mediation with no further funding to support the encouragement for clients to use MIAMS.  Solicitors and all family law professionals are responsible for getting the word out there for all forms of dispute resolution, and for encouraging the client to access them. It is an accident that family lawyers are dealing with finance and parenting arrangements during family breakdown.  So we have to be quite humble about the power of our roles. Research does show that clients prefer independent financial advice and having their own independent lawyer.

But I think there will be a day when couples enter the separation process through a variety of services and that family lawyers really should not to take it for granted that they are necessarily the best person to deal with every aspect of the divorce process, or that they should be the natural gatekeepers to divorce.”  

 

Kim Beatson: Mediator & Collaborative Lawyer

divorce mediaiton
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Is Conscious Uncoupling actually Mediation Process?

Ann Corrigan founder of Clarity Family Law
Ann Corrigan founder of Clarity Family Law

Conscious uncoupling – a la Gwyneth Paltrow – may not just be psychobabble fashionable with offbeat celebs, but actually sits well with mediation and other ways of separating without going to court.

Using the term used by Gwyneth to announce her separation from Coldplay lead singer Chris Martin last month, could be a step in the right direction for couples looking to take the sting out of a divorce, particularly when children are involved.

Conscious uncoupling – suggests an amicable split and a desire to continue co-parenting without the anger and bitterness usually associated with divorce.

Being a qualified mediator, I think that this idea is not that far removed from family mediation – which enables the parents to take control of their own arrangements and agree on a way forward.

Legal changes coming into effect on 22nd of April – actually strengthen the requirement for separating parents to attend a family mediation information and assessment meeting before starting divorce proceedings.

Mediation is actively encouraged, because it’s seen as a ‘nicer’ way of getting divorced, for all the parties involved. It also speeds up the process considerably and is less likely to result in drawn-out court cases. Not all divorces are suitable for family mediation, though, for example if there are concerns about the ability of a parent to look after his or her children or there are complicated financial issues which one party doesn’t fully understand.

How the family mediation process works in practice – A Case Study:

Mark and Louise are a couple in their early 20s.  They have a son, Ryan who is 4 years old.

Mark and Louise never married but were together since they were both 17 years’ old.  The relationship has broken down because Mark has met someone new and has moved out of the home he shared with Louise.  Ryan continues to live with Louise and she is not allowing him to have any contact with his dad.  Mark is sure that this is because Louise is upset that Mark has a new girlfriend.

CONSCIOUS UNCOUPLING
Louise would not allow Ryan to have any contact with his dad.

Having discovered how long it will take to have the matter dealt with by the Court and how expensive it might be, Mark asks Louise to come to family mediation.  Mark has not seen Ryan for 3 months.

At first Louise is adamant that she is not being difficult and that Ryan himself is saying he does not wish to see his father.

The mediator starts by writing Ryan’s name in big letters on the flipchart for both to see.  This way, they can concentrate on the reason they are in mediation – to do what’s best for their son whom they both love dearly.

Although Louise wishes to confront Mark about how hurt she feels, the mediator brings the discussion back to Ryan and on what they both really want for him.  Various options are explored and the mediator helps Mark and Louise to see that if they can both continue to be parents to Ryan in a co-operative way, their child is bound to benefit.

Louise is unhappy at the thought of Ryan meeting Mark’s new partner and Mark agrees that he will not introduce his new girlfriend to Ryan until Louise agrees.

It is also agreed that Mark should see Ryan at his mother’s home each weekend on either a Saturday or a Sunday for a period of two months.  This way, Ryan will continue to see his paternal grandparents, which Louise agrees will be good for him as he misses them. It is also agreed that if after the two month ‘trial’ period, all is going well, Mark can have Ryan to stay overnight with a view to building up the time he spends with Ryan.

The mediator reinforces that Mark and Louise are Ryan’s parents and as such, they are the best people to make decisions concerning his welfare.

By the time they leave the first session, Mark and Louise have agreed a timetable for contact going forward and the mediator explains that this agreement will be reduced to writing in a “Memorandum of Understanding” but that if they encounter difficulties along the way, they can return to family mediation at any time.

Ann Corrigan

Follow Ann on Twitter – @ClarityFamily

@ClarityFamily

 

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Divorce, Children and Family Mediation Process

The Divorce Magazine speaks with Collaborative Lawyer and Family Mediator Austin Chessell about divorce, children and family mediation process.

If you’re wondering how to get to divorced and are not sure what might work for you, then listen to this interview on children of divorce and how the family mediation process works and helps.

 

  •  What are the common children issues parents want to resolve in mediation?
  • What type of contact should parents think about before coming to mediation if they want to prepare?
  • Can people other than parents be involved in family mediation process e.g. grandparents?
  • Can the children themselves be part of the family mediation process?
  • Is there special training you need to do to work with children?
  • Is what is proposed in mediation for children matters legally binding?
  • Can we return to mediation when the children are older if we want to review what was previously agreed?
  • You used to volunteer and work at a children contacts centre. Did the experiences there help shape you as a family mediator?
  • Can you use mediation to discuss which religion a child should follow and also can it be discussed in mediation if a name change should take place for the child?
  • Does the age of the child impact on how the childcare and living arrangements will work?
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