Kate Banerjee

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The Challenges of Co-Parenting at Easter – and How to Overcome Them

Kate Banerjee
Kate Banerjee
Partner and Head of the Children Department
Jones Myers Family Law Solicitors

The Easter holidays are in full swing, bringing the usual raft of challenges for co-parents which are further exacerbated by forecasts of travel chaos by land, air, road and sea.

As always, putting children’s best interests and happiness first should always be the top priority – as difficult as this may be when external elements threaten to disrupt the best laid plans.

Below are some practical tips for co-parents to ensure their children return to school bursting with upbeat stories to tell their friends about the great times they enjoyed with both their parents.

Have A Back Up Plan And Be Flexible

If the predicted travel chaos curtails your combined plans for dividing the holiday period with your children, adapt your arrangements to prevent undue stress – both on yourselves and on them.

It has been proven time and again that children are particularly susceptible to tensions which, in some cases, can impact on their emotional and behavioural development in later life.

Having a back-up plan for any ‘ What If’ scenarios – which can include one of you falling ill or a family crisis – will serve you both well. This can apply to easter outings with one parent being rescheduled until after the official bank holiday – most children don’t return to school until April 20.

Co-operate And Communicate

Be mindful of your children’s welfare and happiness at all times – it is not a competition over who can spend the most time with them.

In scenarios where things go awry such as being late for picks up or drop offs, avoid manifesting your frustration and being irritated with each other. Above all, in the presence of your children and the absence of the other parent, avoid criticising each other.

Be Respectful And Realistic  

 Accept and respect that you cannot influence the decisions and choices of your former spouse. Be mindful and tolerant of each other’s cultures, routines and family routines which may include a co-parent wanting to involve their children in extended family birthdays or religious festivals.

Build Up A Support Network

Juggling many balls is no mean feat for any parent, particularly for separated parents who are single handedly trying to manage school schedules, along with work and household demands.

Your network can include close friends and relatives you can rely on and trust – and who won’t let you down if plans start to unravel. Seek out local community groups where you can meet and relate with like-minded parents.

At Jones Myers, our holistic approach sees us act as a signpost for councillors and relevant  channels of support that co-parents can benefit from – you do not have to undertake this journey alone.

This spirit of goodwill through considerate co-parenting can positively impact on your children’s happiness and wellbeing in the short, medium and long term.

For queries on children law, divorce, or any aspect of family law, call Leeds on 0113 246 0055, Harrogate on 01423 276104, or York on 01904 202550. Visit www.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet us @helpwithdivorce

Jones Myers’ blog is ranked 5th among the UK’s Best 25 family law blogs and websites to follow in 2026.

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About Kate Banerjee

Head of the Children Team, Kate has extensive experience dealing exclusively with issues relating to all aspects of children law. They include residence, contact, relocation, international child abduction and child protection work.

A consistent Chambers and Legal 500 Leading Lawyer, Kate also has considerable expertise in care proceedings and adoption work, representing parents, grandparents, guardians, local authorities and children.

Approach

Recognised for her focused, empathetic and discreet approach to clients, Kate provides a bespoke, tailor made service for each one. Former and current clients, based regionally, nationally and internationally, include high net worth individuals, media personalities and professionals. Her expertise has been called on by national broadcast and media outlets.

Child Abduction Peaks in Summer: What to Look Out For
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Child Abduction Peaks in Summer: What to Look Out For

Kate Banerjee
Kate Banerjee
Partner and Head of the Children Department
Jones Myers Family Law Solicitors

Extensive studies and statistics highlight that cases of child abduction increase during the summer.

The psychological impact on children can be devastating and long-lasting – and it is vital to obtain the permission of everyone with parental responsibility for a child before taking them abroad.

Every year there are around 1,000 cases of British children under the age of sixteen being taken abroad by one parent without the other parent’s permission. This is a criminal offence if the offending parent has not obtained a Court’s permission.

Many cases see children whisked away to countries that are not a signatory of the Hague Convention on International child abduction, an international agreement made in 1980.

Non-signatories of the Hague Convention extend to over sixty countries where there are no international systems to help parents find their children. They include Afghanistan, Egypt, Iraq, Iran, Saudia Arabia, United Arab Emirates and Zimbabwe.

Tell-tale signs

  • Behavioural changes/deteriorating relationship between parents
  • Leaving a job
  • Selling a house
  • Seeking a copy of a child’s birth certificate
  • Trying to obtain a child’s passport
  • Increased contact with family or friends overseas
  • Wanting to take a child away without the other parent

Preventative steps

  • Apply to the Court for a Prohibited Steps Order (PSO) preventing either parent from taking their children to events/trips without the express permission of the other parent
  • Apply for a Child Arrangements Order which clearly sets out the ‘custody rights’ each parent should be exercising. In cases where an abduction occurs, it demonstrates an infringement of custody rights
  • Ensure that parental contact is supervised or, in extreme cases, stopped altogether
  • Keep passports safe – an option is for a solicitor to hold them
  • Ask the Passport Agency  to block the other parent from applying for a new passport
  • In term time, ensure the school know exactly who is allowed to collect your child from school

If you receive a threat of child abduction or if your child has been abducted:

  • Contact the police immediately. They can issue alerts to airports/ferry terminals and liaise with Interpol who may be able to work with police forces abroad to help find your child
  • Give the police recent photos of your child and the other parent, together with details of the airport or destination you think they may be heading
  • Contact Reunite, a UK charity specialising in parental child abduction which operates a 24 hour emergency helpline
  • Seek legal advice immediately

Guiding you through this complex process

Helpful websites include International parental child abduction – GOV.UK (www.gov.uk) and Reunite | International Child Abduction Centre | Child Abduction Charity.

Read more articles by Kate Banerjee.

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About Kate Banerjee

A widely recognised leader in Children Law, Kate Banerjee heads Jones Myers nationally and internationally renowned Children’s Department. She is highly experienced in cases which include contact and residence disputes and child protection law.

Kate also has extensive expertise in international child abduction cases and is a Member of the International Child Abduction and Custody Unit. She is also a Member of the Child Care Panel representing parents, guardians, Local Authorities, and children.

What is Parental Alienation & How to Spot the Signs
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What Is Parental Alienation and How to Spot the Signs

Kate Banerjee
Kate Banerjee
Partner
Jones Myers Family Law Solicitors

Parental alienation is a particular family dynamic that can emerge when parents separate, in which the child becomes hostile and rejects the other parent.

It  can occur when one parent or carer expresses freely and persistently unreasonable negative feelings or beliefs such as anger or fear towards the other parent.

Such toxic behaviour is often disruptive to the child’s actual experience with that parent and can cause widespread, long-lasting damage to relationships between children and parents.

Parental alienation is a contentious term, many in the legal world are reluctant to use the term parental alienation because of its contentious background. Whatever the view of this contentious pattern of behaviour, parental alienation by its ordinary meaning is often an accurate description of the action of a parent either  consciously or  unconsciously.

Our Children’s Department – which always puts children’s best interests first – has witnessed the detrimental effects of this damaging pattern of behaviour on children and parents who are at the receiving end.

Parental Alienation Day, which took place on April 25, has been raising global awareness of the issue which affects millions of parents and children worldwide and can lead to a gradual corrosion of relationships.

What are the signs of parental alienation?

  1. When a parent forbids or tries to restrict their children from seeing the estranged parent
  2. When a parent tries to convince their children that they would be better off not seeing the estranged parent
  3. When a parent prevents their children from talking about their estranged parent
  4. When a parent constantly criticises the estranged parent in front of their children
  5. When a parent makes up and relays negative actions/stories about the estranged parent to their children
  6. When a parent implies to their children that the estranged parent does not care for them

Time and opportunity are often lost and further damage can be  done to a relationship between the parent and a child if action isn’t taken.

How parents can manage and try to avoid alienating behaviour

We urge parents everywhere to set aside their frustrations and resentment to always make their children’s wellbeing a priority – no matter how acrimonious their relationship breakdown has been.

They can do this in the following ways:

  1. Think before you act about how your behaviour is affecting your children
  2. Make your children’s present and future emotional and physical a priority at all times
  3. Always remember that children of all ages, particularly teenagers, are vulnerable to emotional manipulation
  4. Avoid criticising your ex-partner in front of them and tell them how much both parents love them
  5. Never encourage your children to take your side against your ex-partner
  6. Take an interest in what your children do with your ex-partner
  7. Set up a parenting plan with your ex-partner to ensure effective communication and planning

If you, your ex-partner or your children are struggling with the separation, we advise seeking expert advice, in some cases fast action is necessary to avoid seriously harmful outcomes for children.

Read more articles by Jones Myers.

About Kate Banerjee

A widely recognised leader in Children Law, Kate Banerjee heads Jones Myers nationally and internationally renowned Children’s Department. She is highly experienced in cases which include contact and residence disputes and child protection law.

Kate also has extensive expertise in international child abduction cases and is a Member of the International Child Abduction and Custody Unit. She is also a Member of the Child Care Panel representing parents, guardians, Local Authorities, and children.

A formula for divorced parents to prevent school holiday meltdowns  
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A formula for divorced parents to prevent school holiday meltdowns  

Kate Banerjee
Kate Banerjee
Partner and Head of the Children Department
Jones Myers Family Law Solicitors

Excitement levels are mounting in school classrooms the length and breadth of the country in the countdown to pupils breaking up for the summer holidays.

Lasting around six weeks, the summer break is the longest in the school calendar. It also brings added challenges for separated and divorced parents – many of whom work full time and do not have extensive support networks.

Children will understandably want to spend as much time as possible with both parents along with their wider family and friends.

Here are some steps parents can take to ensure stability in a shared commitment.

Plan Ahead   

Try to set aside your differences to always put your children’s interests first. Planning in advance will avoid stress and confusion about arrangements for childcare, days out, and holidays at home and abroad.

Involve Children in Plans

Children and young people need certainty and security. Involve them as much as possible – and as far in advance as possible – in decision making to avoid any surprises. This helps them to adjust to new arrangements. Remember though that the decisions are yours. Whilst children need to feel heard, they do not want the responsibility for deciding the arrangements, especially where their parents may be in conflict.

Call on the Wider Family

Planning for a six-week break can be challenging. Call on your support network (if you have one) to help with shared responsibilities. This is also a positive opportunity for children to catch up with grandparents, step siblings and wider family members to re-establish existing bonds or forge new ones.

Taking Children Abroad

There are only two circumstances in which your ex can take your children abroad for up to a month without your permission. The first is if they have a Child Arrangements Order that verifies that a child “lives with” them, or if they secure a Court Order – called a Specific Issue Order – giving consent.

A Specific Issue Order is applied for if your ex does not have a Child Arrangements Order and thinks you are unreasonable in refusing permission. In these circumstances, the Court is asked to consider the facts of each case and decide whether the child should be allowed to travel. We always recommend taking expert advice from experienced family lawyers.

In our experience, a spirit of compromise, co-operation, and flexibility among parents will go a long way to help children make magical memories that they can treasure in later life.

Click here for more articles from Jones Myers Solicitors

ABOUT KATE BANERJEE

A widely recognised leader in Children Law, Kate heads Jones Myers nationally and internationally renowned Children’s Department. She is highly experienced in cases which include contact and residence disputes and child protection law.

Kate also has extensive expertise in international child abduction cases and is a Member of the International Child Abduction and Custody Unit. She is also a Member of the Child Care Panel representing parents, guardians, Local Authorities, and children. Jones Meyers

Can my ex take our children out of the country

Can my ex take our children out of the country despite the pandemic?

Kate Banerjee
Kate Banerjee
Partner and Head of the Children Department
Jones Myers Family Law Solicitors

The reopening of foreign holidays from this month is causing divorced parents to worry that their ex will want to take their children abroad.

The concerns are further heightened by the continuing global pandemic which places countries in a traffic light system of green amber and red depending upon their Covid figures and degree of risk.

The safety of your child is of paramount importance. At present it is illegal to travel abroad without a reasonable excuse. Anyone thinking of travelling for pleasure from May 17 when restrictions are lifted should follow Government advice on this website https://www.gov.uk/foreign-travel-advice

Outside of the ever changing restrictions due to Covid-19, there are only two circumstances in which your ex can take your children of the country for up to a month without your permission. Covid rules and regulations have not changed that.

The first is if they have a Child Arrangements Order that verifies that a child “lives with” them, or if they secure a Court Order – called a Specific Issue Order – giving consent.

The latter is applied for if your spouse does not have a Child Arrangements Order and thinks you are unreasonable in refusing permission. In these circumstances, the Court is asked to consider the facts of each case, and determine whether the child should be allowed to travel.

In reaching this decision the Court is likely to take into account relevant factors such as government advice, and quarantining rules, as well as other factors such as durations of the holiday and location etc. The Court is usually fairly reluctant to stand in the way of a child enjoying quality family time on a holiday abroad unless there is a clear justification for it.

For an application to be successful, the applicant should provide details of the proposed holiday – where they will be staying, with whom, for how long etc. The parent remaining at home may also need assurances that their spouse will return the child’s passport after the holiday and call them regularly while they are away.

Examples of when the court may not approve a holiday would be if a child may be at risk due to medical reasons or if they are travelling to a dangerous part of the world. It might also be reasonable to assume the Court may consider a further reason being the proposal to travel to one of the 40 countries currently on the Government’s red list.

Courts are also more wary if your ex plans to take your child to countries that are not a signatory of the Hague Convention on International child abduction. They include Afghanistan, Egypt, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Zimbabwe, India and Iran.

If you have major concerns, you can also apply to the court for a Prohibited Steps Order which prevents either of you taking your children outside the country without the other’s permission.

If your ex pressurises you to approval their travel plans, we advise taking expert legal advice on the legality of the travel. You can also keep hold of your child’s passport until you have the details of the holiday and are satisfied it is safe to travel.

Click here for more articles from Jones Myers Solicitors

ABOUT KATE BANERJEE

Kate heads Jones Myers renowned Children’s Department. She is highly experienced in cases relating to children including contact and residence disputes. She specialises in child protection law and is a Member of the Child Care Panel representing parents, guardians, Local Authorities and children.

Kate has extensive expertise in international child abduction cases and is a Member of the International Child Abduction and Custody Unit. She also has “Higher Court Rights”.  Jones Meyers

Urgent steps needed as remote court hearings isolate the most vulnerable

Urgent steps needed – Remote court hearings isolate the vulnerable

Kate Banerjee Jones Myers
Kate Banerjee
Partner and Head of the Children Department
Jones Myers Family Law Solicitors

My concerns about heartbreaking cases – when life-changing decisions affecting vulnerable and often bewildered clients are made at remote hearings – have been re-enforced in a recent study.

The Coronavirus Pandemic has understandably called for remote video and telephone hearings where vulnerable clients are isolated and bereft of any contact or support from solicitors and barristers representing them.

At these hearings momentous decisions are being made about their future on highly sensitive and emotional issues which include babies being removed from their mothers after birth, children being adopted, their contact with parents suspended or stopped – and changes made to where they live.

Prior to the Pandemic as family lawyers we could support our clients in a court hearing and intervene if they did not understand the proceedings or wanted to change their mind.

A study commissioned by Sir Andrew McFarlane, president of the family division of the high court, highlights how parents are participating in online proceedings on a phone from home – often without adequate technology or support.

The study says those who needed an interpreter or who had disabilities faced particularly severe challenges and that 40 per cent of parents did not understand what had happened during the hearing.

This situation is unacceptable. In my extensive experience as a family lawyer, it is impossible to read a situation virtually to sense if my client is, for example, upset, crying, shaking their head or confused.

There is also no privacy or opportunity in the hearings for clients/parents to say they don’t understand what is being said or to change their mind.

Sir Andrew McFarlane is following up concerns raised in the study and will be working with the judiciary and the professions to develop solutions – a positive development.

In these heart-wrenching situations urgent improvements – such as providing down time in the hearings for clients to speak to their lawyers to clarify any points – are needed.

More Nightingale Courts – temporary courts set up in July to help tackle the impact of Covid-19 on the justice system – would also be a step in the right direction.

The overarching priority of the hearings is to keep children safe and our dedicated Children’s team continue to go the extra mile to advise and support our clients by face-to-face meetings where possible along with additional meetings and regular telephone calls.

The impact of momentous decisions made on these highly sensitive cases have lifelong consequences for society’s most vulnerable.  It is vital that these hearings are fair so they do not feel alone and in despair.

By Kate Banerjee

Click here for more articles from Jones Myers Solicitors

ABOUT KATE BANERJEE

Kate heads Jones Myers renowned Children’s Department. She is highly experienced in cases relating to children including contact and residence disputes. She specialises in child protection law and is a Member of the Child Care Panel representing parents, guardians, Local Authorities and children.

Kate has extensive expertise in international child abduction cases and is a Member of the International Child Abduction and Custody Unit. She also has “Higher Court Rights”.

Estranged Parents can Help Children Adjust

New Term, New Challenges: How Estranged Parents can Help Children Adjust

Kate Banerjee Jones Myers
Kate Banerjee
Partner and Head of the Children Department
Jones Myers Family Law Solicitors

This is undoubtedly a formative period in the development of children and young people returning to the classroom for the first time in over five months.

However the school environment and routine that was reassuring and familiar to them earlier this year has changed dramatically as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic.

New measures implemented to help safeguard their well being include one way systems, different playground rules and staggering starting and finishing times.

Secondary pupils in local lockdown areas will also have to wear face coverings in school corridors. 

While looking forward to being reunited with their friends, children will understandably feel anxious about the new rules, particularly those who are old enough to have seen and read about the mixed reactions to schools reopening.

It is therefore vital that their parents – particularly those who are divorced or separated – do their utmost to help ensure a smooth transition.

This can be achieved by working together in a spirit of mutual cooperation to communicate even more closely with their sons and daughters and find out how they think and feel about the myriad of changes they face.

Talking to them and reassuring them why the measures are needed will help to ease apprehensions and anxieties they may be experiencing.

Making sure children stick to a routine outside of school with set times for eating, bedtime and pastimes has also taking on an unprecedented importance.

Creating a stable environment where the best interests of children and young people are the overriding priority requires establishing and sustaining a workable solution.

Above all in these turbulent times estranged parents can remind their children that they both love them very much and are here for them in the days, months and years ahead.

Click here for more articles from Jones Myers Solicitors

About Kate Banerjee

Kate heads Jones Myers renowned Children’s Department. She is highly experienced in cases relating to children including contact and residence disputes. She specialises in child protection law and is a Member of the Child Care Panel representing parents, guardians, Local Authorities and children.

Kate has extensive expertise in international child abduction cases and is a Member of the International Child Abduction and Custody Unit. She also has “Higher Court Rights”.

www.jonesmyers.co.uk

Separated Parents Urged to Put Children’s Interests First as Schools Shut Down

Kate Banerjee Jones Myers
Kate Banerjee
Partner and Head of the Children Department
Jones Myers Family Law Solicitors

With schools now closed across the whole of the UK, Jones Myers niche family law firm is calling on divorced and separated parents to work together for the best interests of their children in these extraordinary times.

We understand and empathise with the practical and emotional challenges facing everyone as the coronavirus crisis continues and advice about social isolation measures is stepped up.

It is especially important for divorced and separated parents to collaborate for the best interests of their children who will also understandably feel nervous and apprehensive.

The severe situation may present particular challenges with children’s routines due to school closures, the nature of their parents’ work – or if a parent or child have been diagnosed with the virus and need to self-isolate.

Parents are also aware that grandparents, who have historically played a major role in childcare, are in the virus’s highest risk category.

We’ re receiving calls from concerned parents about their children’s welfare and advising they keep updated with the developments from official authorities such as schools and health care professionals.

We also offer the following practical advice to estranged parents:

 

    • Stay calm and collected, put aside your differences and agree a plan of action which ensures your children’s health, wellbeing and interests come first

 

    • Be flexible and open minded about changes in parenting time and work together to find a workable solution

 

    • In particular, agree a plan of action if one of you or the children are required to self-isolate. This includes keeping in touch by FaceTime, texts or post cards

 

    • In the above cases, agree on what you will tell your children and explain and keep them up to date on how the other parent is affected.

 

    • Continue to tell your children that you both love them very much and keep explaining why their routine may have to change

 

    • Listen to them and try to avoid passing your anxieties onto them – children are highly sensitive and will become more unsettled if they pick up their parents’ concerns.

Click here for more articles from Jones Myers Solicitors

Working together in a mutual spirit of cooperation and collaboration is crucial to ensure the needs and sensitivities of children remain a priority throughout – and beyond – these extraordinary circumstances.

About Kate Banerjee

Kate is highly experienced in cases relating to children including contact and residence disputes. She specialises in child protection law and is a Member of the Child Care Panel representing parents, guardians, Local Authorities and children.

Kate has extensive expertise in international child abduction cases and is a Member of the International Child Abduction and Custody Unit. She also has “Higher Court Rights”. www.jonesmyers.co.uk

Taking the Children out of the Country without Consent

Parenting after Divorce – Can I Stop my ex from Taking the Children out of the Country without my Consent? 

Kate Banerjee
Partner and Head of the Children Department
Jones Myers Family Law Solicitors

In our extensive experience, divorced or separated parents become anxious for many reasons when one of them wants to take their children abroad.

There are only two circumstances in which your spouse can take them out of the country for up to 28 days without your permission – if they have a Child Arrangements order (formally called a Residence Order) that a child “lives with” them, or if they secure a Court Order giving consent – a Specific Issue Order.

The latter is applied for if your spouse does not have a Child Arrangements Order and thinks you are unreasonable in refusing permission. In these circumstances, the Court is asked to resolve a matter by considering the facts of each case, and determining whether the child should be allowed to travel.

For an application to be successful the applicant should provide details of the proposed holiday – where they will be staying, with whom, for how long etc. The parent remaining at home may also need assurances that their spouse will return the child’s passport after the holiday and call them regularly while they are away.

Examples of when the court may not approve a holiday would be if they are travelling to a dangerous part of the world, or if the child may be at risk due to medical reasons. Generally, the Courts take the view that a holiday is in the child’s best interests unless there is good reason otherwise.

The Court will make its decision based on what is in the child’s best interests. In the majority of cases an order will be granted if the child is keen to go on the break and will benefit from it – and providing your ex promises to bring them back when the holiday is over.

Courts are more wary if your spouse plans to take your child to countries that are not a signatory of the Hague Convention on International child abduction. They include Afghanistan, Egypt, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Zimbabwe, India and Iran.

If you have major concerns, you can also apply to the Court for a Prohibited Steps Order which prevents either of you taking the children outside the country without the permission of the other parent.

Parents who object to their children going abroad are often pressurised by their ex to give their approval. If you find yourself in this positon then you should seek legal advice on the legality of the travel. A practical tip would be to keep hold of your child’s passport until you have the details of the holiday and are satisfied that it is safe to travel.

In most cases the planned trip abroad genuinely is just that. However if you are worried that the holiday may be part of a plan for abducting your child, by which we mean permanently removing your child from the jurisdiction, we recommend you look out for the following signs:

  • Selling a house
  • An interest in obtaining a copy of your child’s birth certificate
  • Making moves to obtain your child’s passport
  • Leaving a job

If you think that there is a chance your child may be abducted abroad, then you should also consider the following preventative steps:

  • Ensure contact is supervised. In extreme cases, you may seek to stop contact altogether
  • Keep passports safe and consider depositing them with a solicitor
  • Ask the Passport Agency to block your ex from applying for a new passport
  • Notify your child’s school about who is allowed to collect them

The severe psychological impact on children who have been abducted can be devastating and long lasting. If in doubt, seek legal advice immediately.  

Click here for more articles by Kate Banerjee

About Kate Banerjee

Kate is highly experienced in cases relating to children including contact and residence disputes. She specialises in child protection law and is a Member of the Child Care Panel representing parents, guardians, Local Authorities and children.

Kate has considerable expertise in international child abduction cases and is a Member of the International Child Abduction and Custody Unit. She also has “Higher Court Rights”.

Jones Myers

Dr Foster: a Stark Reminder why Children Should Never be Pawns in Parents’ Battles

Kate Banerjee
Partner and Head of the Children Department
Jones Myers Family Law Solicitors

The spotlight has fallen on youngsters who are caught in the explosive crossfire of warring parents following the volatile BBC melodrama, Doctor Foster.

The relentless and destructive behaviour of Tom’s divorced parents left the series on a cliffhanger, with the distraught 15 year old taking off on his own because all semblances of a normal family and school life had been stripped away.

The stark reality is that thousands of children and young people unwittingly find themselves trapped in the middle of constant conflict in the real world – irrespective of whether their parents are living together or apart.

Such damaging behaviour can not only affect youngsters’ mental health, the development of their social and emotional skills and academic achievements – it can also influence their ability to form future relationships

Responsible family lawyers put children at the heart of family law, always encouraging parents to work together to resolve their differences rather than engage in bitter conflict.

Couples who are not consumed by battles are more likely to strive towards supporting their offspring’s psychological and emotional needs. Failure to do so risks horrendous outcomes – as reinforced by Dr Foster’s conclusion.

I urge parents to choose collaboration over conflict at all times and follow these steps:

  1. Don’t use children as bargaining tools in your relationship with your ex – encourage them to see – and love – both parents.
  2. Linked with the above, don’t criticise your ex in front of them and avoid asking them directly or indirectly to take sides – no matter how resentful and bitter you feel about your former partner.
  3. Children need to feel loved by both parents as they struggle to come to terms with the breakdown of family life as they know it.
  4. Presenting a united front can help children to adjust. This includes agreeing on key areas such as bed times, amount of television or computer games and space and time for homework. For teenagers it extends to seeing friends and social/sports activities.
  5. Encourage your children to show a genuine interest in what they do during their time with the other parent.
  6. Listen to your sons and daughters; give them space and time to talk about their feelings.

I wholeheartedly understand that this guidance is given from the sanctuary of an office as opposed to the emotionally charged backdrops, which parents deal with daily when coping with their children and managing contact arrangements.

However, if both parents can draw on their inner strength to communicate with, and respond to, each other with dignity and care, they will reap the rewards of their children remaining loving and caring towards their mums and dads – and being considerably less likely to fall by the wayside of life.

About Kate Banerjee

Kate, Head of the Children Department at Leeds and London based Jones Myers, is highly skilled in cases relating to children including contact and residence disputes.

She specialises in child protection law and is a Member of the Child Care Panel with experience representing parents, guardians, Local Authorities and children.

As well as working regionally and nationally, Kate has considerable expertise in international child abduction cases and is a Member of the International Child Abduction and Custody Unit.

Kate has “Higher Court Rights,” which enables her to offer clients an all-round litigation service.

 

Prevent Child Being Abducted  

What to Look out for to Help Prevent your Child Being Abducted  

Kate Banerjee
Partner and Head of the Children Department
Jones Myers Family Law Solicitors

A call for more concerted action to prevent children in parental disputes being abducted overseas comes as yet more disturbing cases hit the headlines.

The stark reality is that around 1, 000 British children are taken abroad by the other parent without permission every year.

The appeal for a global campaign comes from the charity, Abducted Angels which raises funds for families to help them trace their children and bring them back.

The organisation also enlists the voluntary services of social workers and counsellors to help rehabilitate abducted children.

In many cases, children are whisked away to countries that are not a signatory of the Hague Convention on International child abduction – an international agreement made in 1980. These countries include Afghanistan, Egypt, Iraq, Saudia Arabia and Zimbabwe.

Such cases can prove especially challenging because there are no international systems in place to help parents who are desperate to find and be reunited with their children.

The Foreign and Commonwealth (FCO) office will do its best to help but admits to having limited powers because it cannot interfere in the laws of a non-Hague country.

Below are some tips on how to stay vigilant and keep your children safe.

Tell-tale signs to look out for:

  • Selling a house
  • An interest in obtaining a copy of a child’s birth certificate
  • Making moves to obtain a child’s passport
  • Announcing a desire to go on holiday with the child/children and without the other parent
  • Leaving a job

Preventative steps to consider:

  • Apply to the Court for a Prohibited Steps Order (PSO); this prevents either parent from taking their children to any specific events or any trips without the express permission of the other parent
  • Ensure that contact is supervised and, in extreme cases, you may wish to stop contact altogether
  • Keep passports safe and consider depositing them with a solicitor
  • Contact the Passport Agency and ask them to block the other parent from applying for a new passport
  • Notify the school about who is allowed to collect your child from school

If you receive a threat of child abduction or if your child has been abducted:

  • Contact the police immediately, who can issue a port alert to airports and ferry terminals. Recent photos of your child and the other parent, together with details of the airport or destination you think they may be heading, will help the police to focus their search
  • Contact Reunite, a UK charity specialising in parental child abduction which operates a 24 hour emergency helpline
  • Seek legal advice immediately

The severe psychological impact on children who have been abducted can be devastating and long-lasting and it is vital to obtain the permission of everyone with parental responsibility for a child before taking them abroad.

About Kate Banerjee

Kate, Head of the Children Department at Leeds and London based Jones Myers, is highly skilled in cases relating to children including contact and residence disputes.

She specialises in child protection law and is a Member of the Child Care Panel with experience representing parents, guardians, Local Authorities and children.

As well as working regionally and nationally, Kate has considerable expertise in international child abduction cases and is a Member of the International Child Abduction and Custody Unit.

Kate has “Higher Court Rights,” which enables her to offer clients an all-round litigation service.

 

How Separated Mums can Avoid Mother’s Day Blues
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How Separated Mums can Avoid Mother’s Day Blues

Kate Banerjee
Partner and Head of the Children Department
Jones Myers Family Law Solicitors

For recently divorced or separated mums Mother’s Day might be an upsetting and poignant reminder that family life has undergone substantial upheaval and change.

Whenever and wherever it is celebrated across the globe, the day is important to highlight the importance of those who nurture children. This is something we champion at Jones Myers, where we advocate that children’s best interests always come first.

In the countdown to Mother’s Day, here are some tips to help make the most of the occasion:

1. Plan in advance, and talk to your ex. If they usually see the children on Sunday, ask them if you could swap arrangements for this week. A flexible parenting plan can go a long way to diffusing potential arguments over special days.

2. If you are with the children on that day – and your separation is recent – avoid pressurising them to celebrate, as they may need time to come to terms with the new arrangements. A more subtle way would be to do something on the day that you will all enjoy.

3. If you are not with your children on Mother’s Day, indulge yourself with something special to mark it – and remember the vital role you play. This could also include a group event with other single parents.

4. To make up for not spending the day with your children, create a ‘new’ mother’s day the next time you are together – the occasion does not have to be dictated by the   official calendar date.

Irrespective of what day of the year it is, the best environment for parents to raise children is when both of them play a key role in their development – whether they are still living together or not.

That is why we advocate mediation, arbitration and collaborative family law to help couples achieve an amicable solution in the event of a relationship breakdown.

About Kate Banerjee

Kate, Head of the Children Department at Leeds and London based Jones Myers, is highly skilled in cases relating to children including contact and residence disputes. She specialises in child protection law and is a Member of the Child Care Panel with experience representing parents, guardians, Local Authorities and children.

As well as working regionally and nationally, Kate has considerable expertise in international child abduction cases and is a Member of the International Child Abduction and Custody Unit.

Kate has “Higher Court Rights,” which enables her to offer clients an all-round litigation service.