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the collaborative divorce process
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Divorce Law to be Replaced – How the Collaborative Divorce Process is Taking Over

Nigel C Winter - Partner in the Family Department of Rawlison Butler solicitors
Nigel C Winter – Partner in the Family Department of Rawlison Butler Solicitors

There is one thing we can be sure of – if something is happening in California, it will be happening everywhere else within 20 years’ time. And in America we have seen a dramatic increase in the use of Collaborative Law which is now increasing in the UK.

Are the days of the old fashioned acrimonious divorce numbered?

When parties are going through a sensitive transition like a divorce they will often want to go to lawyers who are trained in avoiding conflict and getting them both where they want to be.

And whilst the newspapers are full of celebrities in high profile divorces, there are many more who are to great lengths to stay out of the papers – trust me; Anonymity is the new celebrity!

The Collaborative Divorce Process

In many ways the Collaborative approach to family separation is tailor-made to the requirements of the modern world. It seeks to preserve family life albeit one in which the parents are no longer married.

Co-operating after separation is essential to serving the best interests of the children. Furthermore the model seeks to minimise conflict and offers total privacy. That degree of privacy is not available in the conventional Court-based divorce as many sensitive celebrities have found out to their cost.

Small wonder increasing numbers are opting for the Collaborative approach and, like it or not such people to seem to ‘set the trend’.

How Does it Work in Practice?

Both parties take advice from collaboratively trained lawyers. There would then be a four way meeting between both lawyers and both parties.

The first difference that anybody looking in would notice, is that everyone is on first name terms.

It’s a small thing but it is a vast difference to cross examining someone under oath. The dynamic is completely different and everybody has the confidence to talk freely safe in the knowledge that they are not prejudicing their position.

The lawyers have a vested interest in ensuring that this process doesn’t breakdown as there is an agreement if it does that they would have to stop acting and the parties would seek legal advice elsewhere to take the matter on to Court.

the collaborative divorce process
The Collaborative Divorce Process – a four way meeting between both lawyers and both parties.

Contrary to popular belief, lawyers do not have a vested interest in taking cases to Court, but as that is a perception it is promptly rectified by this very rigid rule.

Are there any disadvantages? Frankly it is hard to see any.

If there is an overbearing spouse or partner then it is well within the realms of possibility that they will seek to use the Collaborative process as a means of getting what they want.

However, each individual case should be ‘screened’ at the outset to make sure that there is the requisite degree of trust, honesty and devotion to fairness.

This will not cover all cases and there is perhaps an inevitable tension between a lawyer’s desire to serve the parties within the Collaborative process and their unyielding professional duty to ensure that their client receives the best advice concerning an appropriate settlement. Where the two conflict, the latter must prevail.

A further boost is given to the Collaborative process by virtue of the fact that the Courts now emphasise the importance of alternative dispute resolution ie avoiding Court.

Indeed it is a pre-requisite in the vast majority of cases that the parties attend Mediation before they can actually issue proceedings.

The shortcoming with Mediation is that the lawyers are not present and therefore their advice still has to be sought afterwards in any event.

However they are present throughout during any Collaborative meeting and ‘on tap’ to advise both parties. One might therefore speculate that had the Collaborative process been more widely available when Parliament enacted this law, that they would have included Collaborative law as an alternative to Mediation.

The Collaborative approach is not limited to divorce either. Both Cohabitation and Pre-Nuptial Agreements can be discussed and drawn up adopting the same process.

With the divorce rate falling and cohabitation an alternative family model, the continued increase in Collaborative Law as a preferred option is set to increase.

Will it replace divorce law? Perhaps not completely but there is every reason to believe that it will in due course be the first choice for dispute resolution over and above the Court.

And about time too.

Nigel C Winter is a partner in the Family Department of Rawlison Butler Solicitors, based in the South East of England. He has been practicing family law for over two decades, is a collaborative lawyer and a regular contributor to a wide variety of publications on Divorce and Family Law.

He has been practicing family law for over 2 decades, is a Collaborative lawyer and a regular contributor to a wide variety of publications on divorce and family law.

 Disclaimer – This document is provided for information purposes only and does not constitute legal advice.

 

 

divorce at 50

Coping with Divorce at 50 and Beyond

Muna Saleem  Associate Solicitor Crisp co
Muna Saleem
Associate Solicitor
Crisp & Co

You’re done with the hard graft of your 30s and 40s.

The kids have left home, the mortgage is more or less paid and, hopefully, you’re financially secure.

You finally have some time to re-evaluate life and focus on your own needs, and for an increasing number of people this has meant joining the ranks of the so-called ‘silver splitters’ – the mid-life divorcees.

In fact, while the Office for National Statistics has recorded that 2012-2013 (the most recent figures on public record) saw divorce rates drop to their lowest in 40 years, splits among the over-50s are steadily on the rise.

So what has inspired this middle-aged quirk?

Some commentators have pointed to the runaway success of ‘50 Shades of Grey’, empowering women to take control of lacklustre love lives and seek new adventures. Others have simply suggested that couples who married young may have run their course, drifting apart as life goes on, starting a new chapter once the responsibilities of parenthood take a backseat.

In fact, according to a recent survey by Resolution, the professional body of family lawyers in England and Wales, 82% of 14-22 year-olds said they would rather their parents divorced if they were unhappy than stay together just for the sake of the children.

Teenagers and older offspring are likely to understand the ways of the world and adapt to new situations if they can see that it’s in the best interests for you, so it’s advisable to be as open and honest with them as possible, while respecting their relationship with your partner. Don’t try to make them take sides, as this will cause unfair stress on their part.

Society accepts divorce much more so now than in past generations, and if you do decide to end your marriage, it’s important to make your financial and emotional well-being a priority so that you can fully enjoy your newfound independence.

Take Control of your Finances

If you’re looking at the prospect of becoming a ‘Sindy’ (Single Income, Now Divorced), what are the key financial hurdles you face?

  • Dividing your assets, liabilities and property can be complicated, particularly if you can’t come to an amicable agreement with your spouse, or if there are children/dependents involved. If required, get professional help from a solicitor that specialises in divorce.
  • Once you’ve settled the legal aspects, reviewing what you have left after a split is key. Do your investments and pension plans still fit with your goals for the future? Have your financial goals changed? Consider seeking some expert financial advice if you’re not sure.
  • You should also check in on your income vs. expenditure (your budget) to make sure you don’t fall into debt or overspend. Running a household on a single income can be tricky, especially if you’re used to two.

Live your Life to the Full, enjoy your Independence

Being a divorcee is no longer the social taboo that it once was and being newly divorced can be the perfect time to meet new people, gain friends, and seek out new experiences.

There’s always a wealth of opportunities to network, socialise and date, whatever your age or former marital status.

  • Take it slowly if you need to. Find a friend or family member who’s been through something similar, as they can help you get to grips with the dating scene.
  • Join a club, society or local group to meet new people; it can be a fun way to spend your free time even if you don’t meet the love of your life.
  • Make use of technology. As well as the good old-fashioned classifieds, you could try dating apps or websites, which can provide a great way to meet people outside of your normal social group. Dating in this way has lost its stigma and has become an increasingly popular way to find romance.

Take Care of Yourself

Divorce is undeniably one of the most stressful experiences life can throw up, even for the party that instigates proceedings, so it’s important to talk to friends, family and medical professionals if you feel at all anxious. Trouble sleeping and/or dramatic weight loss/gain are the outwardly obvious signs of stress, and depression can follow, so it’s important to open up about your feelings to close friends or trained professionals who can help you get back on track.

While things may sometimes feel tough as you readjust, it’s important to remember that many people overcome the emotional strains to successfully rebuild their lives, possibly finding a new love along the way.

For couples that can maintain effective communication during the separation, mediation can be a very productive alternative to Court battles. Mediators are totally impartial, do not take sides and only offer sound legal advice in order to facilitate ‘good’ divorces with minimal animosity.

There’s no denying that divorce can sometimes be traumatic and difficult, but getting out of an unhappy marriage can also be an empowering experience. A growing number of over-50s are untying the knot and taking bold steps to start new chapters, but it goes without saying that such decisions should not be taken lightly.

Muna Saleem is an expert in family law, and is an associate solicitor at Crisp & Co. and an accredited member of the Law Society’s Family Law Panel. You can connect with Crisp & Co on Facebook.

 

 

10 MYTHS ABOUT ONLINE DIVORCE UK

10 Myths about Online Divorce UK

Carmen Hudson (LLB) Director DivorceBox.com
Carmen Hudson (LLB) Director DivorceBox.com

So many questions have been asked about online divorce, so Carmen Hudson, Director at Divorcebox, has taken the time to give us the top 10 myths about online divorce UK

Myth #1 You need to use a Solicitor to get divorced

A common misconception is that you need to instruct a solicitor to obtain a divorce.

In reality 40% of divorce applications* in England and Wales are concluded without using a solicitor.

For more information on divorce and the divorce process visit: www.gov.uk/divorce/overview or www.divorcebox.com

Myth #2 You have to wait 2 years or 5 years before you can get divorced

There are two criteria that a couple have to meet to make a divorce application.

  1. That the marriage/civil partnership has irretrievably broken down
  2. That you have been married/civil partners for at least one year prior to your application

The ‘facts’ used to prove the above are:

  • Unreasonable behaviour (the most common fact cited)
  • Adultery
  • 2 years separation with consent of both parties(often referred to as a no fault divorce)
  • 2 years separation, Desertion
  • 5 years separation, Desertion

You can get a divorce after one year if your spouse/civil partner has behaved in a way that you consider to be unreasonable or has committed adultery.

The 2 and 5 year criteria refer to no fault divorce applications where there are no allegations about your spouses behaviour. You can divorce by mutual agreement after 2 years or because your spouse has ‘deserted’ you for a period of 2 or 5 years respectively.

Myth #3 Quickie Divorces

When the press refer to a quickie divorce they are in fact referring to a uncontested divorce where both parties agree to the divorce. No firm or company can influence the speed at which your divorce is granted. This is determined by two things:

  • The court/Divorce Centres schedule or workload.
  • The co-operation of both spouses who agree to the divorce

These are the two factors that will influence the speed at which your divorce is granted.

10 MYTHS ABOUT ONLINE DIVORCE UK

Myth #4 You have to attend court to get a divorce

Very few divorce applications are defended, where one party doesn’t agree to the divorce application, and an even smaller number of those require a hearing.

The majority of divorces are dealt with without either party having to attend court.

Myth #5 Finances are settled on a 50/50 basis

When people refer to financial divorce settlements they are generally referring to a settlement by court order. It is worth noting that you do not have to apply for an order or go to court to resolve financial or childcare issues (see #8 below).

If you did decide to make an application to the court for a financial order there is no automatic division of assets on a 50/50 basis or in any other proportion. What the judge will look at is the circumstances of the divorcing couple and the needs of both parties.

Remember the pendulum can swing both ways. Either party can be potentially ordered to pay maintenance to the other party and the court does not automatically give a ‘stay at home parent’ a bigger slice of the cake.

Myth #6 I need a consent order

A consent order is:

a financial contract, jointly agreed by a divorcing couple, that finalises the financial obligations arising from the marriage/civil partnership”.

Firstly if your spouse doesn’t want to sign a consent order, you can not get one, as a contract requires the consent of both parties.

Secondly if you have children it may not be in your best interests to ‘consent’ to a contract that allows for no future changes in financial arrangements (that may or may not have been agreed in a separate agreement), because your children’s circumstances may change for a variety of reasons in the years ahead.

Consent orders are not a one size fits all instrument. It will depend entirely on your circumstances and the co-operation of both parties.

You can obtain a consent order in addition to completing a DIY divorce or online application if both parties are in agreement.

Myth #7 Legal Aid is not available for divorce applications/Court Fees

10 MYTHS ABOUT ONLINE DIVORCE UKThis myth is mostly true but there are schemes in place to assist those couples going through divorce. Legal Aid is no longer available for most family law matters but there is an exception for matters involving domestic abuse.

However, fee remission of the court fee for a divorce application is available for those individuals that meet the income criteria. Meaning that those on lower incomes or benefits are entitled to a full or partial remission of the court fee for a divorce application.

Financial and childcare arrangements:  Legal Aid is available for mediation if you meet the income criteria. Mediation helps you sort out arrangements about finances and children following divorce or separation.

Myth #8 You can not get an online divorce if you need to make a financial agreement or arrangements in respect of children

A divorce application is separate to any financial agreements or arrangements in respect of children. They are often dealt with at the same time and run alongside each other but each matter is dealt with in it’s own right.

You can get divorced using an online application and deal with financial matters and childcare arrangements separately without referring the matter to court if you wish to do so.

Family Mediation:  Mediation is where an independent and impartial third party discusses issues with you and your ex-spouse/civil partner to try and reach an agreement. Mediation can be conducted separately if the circumstances require it.

Mediation is not about getting back together. It is an opportunity for a divorcing couple to make arrangements about a number of issues, including but not limited to financial affairs, housing, child care arrangements and how to deal with any property.

Legal Aid is available for mediation if you qualify.

Myth #9 Online divorce is for people with no assets

This is another popular divorce myth. However, it was recently reported that Gary Lineker got divorced online and as such is likely to have dealt with any financials matters separately.

Myth #10 Divorce is expensive

This myth is often supported by press coverage on big money divorces. But divorce applications do not have to be expensive or complicated. There are schemes available for those individuals on lower incomes and you can reduce the cost further by completing your application online.

Costs of divorce:

Application forms – the application form is available for free at hmctsformfinder.justice.gov.uk or DivorceBox.com

Court Fee £410 – this can be reduced to £0 if you qualify for remission

Family Mediation – Legal Aid is available for mediation

Online divorce – DivorceBox packages from £39.00

 

*https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/family-court-statistics-quarterly-july-to-september-2015

Carmen Hudson (LLB) is a director and head of legal of operations at DivorceBox.com a online legal service provider specialising in online divorce (e-divorce).

After 15 years in dispute resolution she founded DivorceBox to offer a less intimidating alternative to traditional legal services.

Online Divorce UK – How to File for Divorce Online

Carmen Hudson (LLB) Director DivorceBox.com
Carmen Hudson (LLB) Director DivorceBox.com

In this interview, Carmen Hudson of Divorcebox, explains how you can file for divorce online:

Divorce online is exactly like any other divorce except that is done online. 

Going through divorce is a very difficult experience but in the case where both partners agree to the divorce, the divorce process itself can be reduced to a procedural exercise and that’s where online divorce comes in.

If you prefer to go down the avenue of alternative dispute resolution, you can still instigate your  divorce online and deal with the paper work online and reduce that side of it, that element of it to a procedural exercise.

Can I get all necessary divorce papers online in order for me to be able to file for divorce online?

Yes, they are absolutely free online from her Majesty’s Court website.  They are free so never, pay for divorce papers or divorce forms.  You can even download them for free as a pack from our website. There are people who sell packages which include the divorce papers but what you need to know is what you’re paying for.  That would be my advice to you.

Online divorce is about choice.

Is online divorce for those with within the low income bracket?  That’s the picture that we often get.

That is the picture that they do portray but that is not the case.  It’s like in the case of family mediation as a divorce process, it’s for anybody but it’s not necessarily suitable for everybody.  If the divorce is likely to be defended and hearings necessary, online divorce wouldn’t necessarily be suitable in that instant.

But in terms of net worth, just recently we had Gary Lineker choosing to go through his divorce process using the divorce online route. 

This is a good example of how a high net worth individual has chosen to go through the divorce process by taking the non-adversarial route, non-contentious route, because it helps shine the light on the fact that you can do it, without involving the lawyers, without it being a messy divorce. 

So finances do not affect whether or not you can have an online divorce, what is important is that you can agree to divorce with your ex-partner.  You can sort out houses, finances, children through other avenues.

So to file for divorce online, it needs to be an uncontested divorce.

Can you start your divorce online at anytime or do the grounds for divorce still hold?

Online divorce, DIY divorce, divorce through a solicitor are all the same thing.  All the exact same application forms, all the same rules apply as well as the reasons and the facts that you use to prove the divorce are exactly the same as you would use if you were going through the divorce process through a solicitor or via DIY divorce. 

It all comes down to how you chose to file for divorce the rest stays the same including the grounds for divorce.

Is going through the divorce online quicker ?

The divorce process is in the hands of  divorce centres.  So it will depend on your regional divorce centre and some regions are slightly better than other regions.  

They will dictate, the timetable and schedule of any divorce be it DIY, be it online divorce be it through a solicitor.

The difference with an online divorce is that you can instigate and initiate the divorce yourself from home, so you’re in control of the timetable.  So you’re not waiting for solicitors and you don’t have to go to a solicitor’s office. 

So this is an advantage to be gained.  It’s the convenience of doing it at home and at your own pace. 

So you can find the divorce papers online, you can file for divorce online, you don’t have to wait for the forms to arrive, you don’t have to go out and meet someone and you don’t have to cough up a lot of money.

You can print the forms out, attach your cheque, send them to your divorce centre and it can be as simple as that.

I don’t want to say that divorce is easy, I don’t like that whole easy divorce thing, because the divorce process itself can be devastating for people, but the actual application, can be a procedural exercise. 

What about clean break?  How does online divorce help.

Financial matters and matters in relation to children and matters in relation to property, are separate to but run alongside the divorce application.

So the divorce application is one application to the court then if need be, you can make a separate application in relation to the children and then you can make a financial application.  They are parallel but they are not all on the same form.

Mediation works very well with online divorce.

What we find is people find that if they want to keep it out of the court and they want to go down the alternative dispute resolution path and they don’t want to put it in the hands of the judge, they can use a combination of online divorce and family mediation.  That puts the family and the spouses at the heart of the decision making process.  So you can actually reach a compromise with the mediation and also do your online divorce parallel to that.

Carmen Hudson (LLB) is a director and head of legal of operations at DivorceBox.com a online legal service provider specialising in online divorce (e-divorce).

After 15 years in dispute resolution she founded DivorceBox to offer a less intimidating alternative to traditional legal services.

c.hudson@divorcebox.com

high stakes - divorce story

Choosing your Divorce Lawyer or Family Mediator

Women and Divorce
Wendi Schuller
Author of
The Global Guide to Divorce

There are several ways of finding the right solicitor or mediator for your divorce.

If you know someone in any area of the legal field, ask them whom they would personally select.

Another way is to query people that you value in the professional world who they would get for a divorce. That is how I found my solicitor when needing one in a hurry for my divorce. A man that I regularly did business with insisted that only one solicitor would do. I respected his opinion and this particular name came up again and again so that was who I hired to represent me in my divorce proceedings.

There is a lot to be said for word-of mouth recommendations.  You hear about both the good family solicitors/ family mediators and the less stellar ones who bump up legal fees.

Information at the school gates can be valuable. Many of these parents have been through a divorce or know someone who has and can give some advice on this subject.

One mum at my son’s school warned me that my solicitor was like a pit bull – aggressive and occasionally bit its owner. This sage advice made my relationship easier with her, particularly when she was blunt or did not agree with me on some points.

Go online and see who is rated highly in Family Law and has won some professional awards.

If you have heard good things about certain law firms – see if they also do divorces. They want to maintain their esteemed reputations so will hire the brightest in their fields.

Choosing your divorce lawyer
Choosing your Divorce Lawyer

An online search for local listings gives one a beginning point. Go to the individuals’ web sites and also check out their law firms’ ones. See which ones are more appealing and follow up on those. This is also a way to see who is not, and avoid putting those names on your list.

Look at recommendations and low ratings online. Keep in mind a mediator or solicitor may have had 2000 clients who were ecstatically happy with them and their results. The one disgruntled former client may be the only person who submits a rating online, which may make that legal professional erroneously appear less effective.

There are some great divorce package deals online and that makes it easier to see who fits best for your budget.

Top law firms also participate in naming a specific price for various types of divorces. Some of the categories include: uncontested (when both parties agree on getting divorced), contested ones where one person may not want a divorce or has some other issue. The package may be for couples without children. The packages vary per law firm. If you are narrowing down solicitors, see of any advertise a packaged deal. If you really like someone, you can ask if they do any, if none are listed on the web site.

A divorce package has services bundled together for a certain price. If the divorce becomes quite complicated, then other ones may be added ala carte.

Many law firms offer a free initial consultation for a specified amount of time. This is a great way to see whom you click with and would be comfortable sharing your personal information.

It is easier having a face-to-face meeting with a few solicitors or mediators to get a sense if you two are a good match. Some law firms specialize in certain types of clients. If you are a high net-worth client, see who has been in the news lately for getting huge settlements for their clients. Some men may prefer going to a law firm that only accepts male clients for divorce.

Determine if you want to go the mediation route or if you want a solicitor. There are many articles in The Divorce Magazine that explain the differences and singularities to help you decide which one to choose.

Also determine if you want a collaborative divorce, where the solicitors work together in the process, or if you want to go to court. What you decide for the type of divorce process you desire, determines which legal professional that you will hire.

More and more family law solicitors are becoming certified as divorce mediators. If you are on the fence regarding which type of divorce you would like, consider this option. Select a divorce professional that is both a solicitor and mediator. They can go over collaborative vs mediation and work with you in deciding which way to go with your divorce.

 

CLICK HERE FOR MORE ARTICLES BY WENDI SCHULLER

ABOUT WENDI

Wendi Schuller is a nurse, hypnotherapist and is certified in Neuro-linguistic Programing (NLP).

Her most recent book is The Global Guide to Divorce and she has over 200 published articles.

She is a guest on radio programs in the US and UK. Her website is globalguidetodivorce.com.

amicable divorce

How to Have an Amicable Divorce

Women and Divorce
Wendi Schuller
Author of
The Global Guide to Divorce

A key piece to having an amicable divorce is what is happening pre-divorce.

If discussing whether or not to part-ways, do it in a calm manner without assigning blame.

Use I statements to describe your feelings and unhappiness with the marital situation. Respecting each other is the cornerstone of having an amicable divorce.

If you are the one delivering the news, try to have compassion for your spouse and do it in a gentle way. Think about what brought you two together in the first place and what characteristics that you like about them.

This helps in seeing the big picture where divorce is part of what happens in your relationship, but does not end it. Some couples become better friends after divorce, especially when the process is conducted with integrity.

Select a friendlier type of divorce such as family mediation or a collaborative one.

Litigation in court is adversarial where one spouse is pitted against the other one. In mediation or collaborative divorce, the spouses and their legal representatives work together as a team to accomplish splitting assets and finalizing the marital split.

Gov.uk has much information online regarding divorce and needed divorce papers.

It is possible to find online companies who provide guidance and a divorce kit for what is required by the court for spouses who want a divorce in this manner.

Some spouses want a DIY divorce to keep things simple. Choose what is most comfortable for you. Discuss how the divorce papers will be delivered to the other spouse if applicable. This can sabotage having an amicable divorce when they are served to a spouse in front of their boss or clients. Receiving divorce papers can be a shock, even when following a discussion about separating.

To keep divorce amicable there is give and take. Negotiations are low key without a winner take all attitude.

This involves listening to each other’s concerns and why a specific asset is desired. Flexibility and the willingness to compromise are paramount in keeping the process more easy going in order to discover creative solutions that are beneficial to both. It is understanding that neither party is going to get everything that they want with splitting assets, shared care and so forth.

To keep things amicable stay on task and leave emotion out it. If you find yourself getting hostile or defensive, take a short breather in proceedings to regroup. Aim to have a pleasant demeanour and if your spouse is becoming angry, suggest a break. Strong emotions can feed off each other and spiral out of control.

Do not start blaming your spouse during proceedings or make personal attacks on their character, no matter how tempting. Look at the common goal of getting the divorce completed and work together to get this accomplished smoothly.

Some couples I know, met at coffee houses during their divorces to work out splitting personal possessions. This was friendlier and cheaper than quibbling over artwork and china with their solicitors.

Vent with friends who can keep confidences.

During my divorce, a few people (some I barely knew) revealed what my husband was circulating around the community about me. You do not want to throw a spanner in the works of your divorce, by spreading gossip about your spouse. Keep tight lipped about what is happening so nothing can get back to them.

People do not need to know your business, so a vague “our divorce is coming along okay” will suffice. I brought pastries to our collaborative divorce meetings which contributed to a friendlier atmosphere.

If you genuinely like and respect your spouse, they can be an important ally post-divorce. They know you well and can give a job reference or be of assistance in emergencies. Some former spouses continue going together as friends to musical concerts and to other venues. When caught up in the unpleasantness of divorce, remember this is temporary and the person you once married can still be a friend.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE ARTICLES BY WENDI SCHULLER

ABOUT WENDI

Wendi Schuller is a nurse, hypnotherapist and is certified in Neuro-linguistic Programing (NLP).

Her most recent book is The Global Guide to Divorce and she has over 200 published articles.

She is a guest on radio programs in the US and UK. Her website is globalguidetodivorce.com.

About Family Mediation

Family Mediators Association – Survey Shows Huge Gap in Access to Information for Divorcing Couples

Family Mediators Association Family mediators are calling for more practical information and support for divorcing and separating couples after a recent survey by the Family Mediators Association revealed that couples are struggling to access the information they need to help them make informed decisions about their family and financial issues, with up to 38% of people unaware that there are more ways to resolve these issues than going to court or using a solicitor.

The poll, conducted by YouGov in support of Family Mediation Week, revealed that people’s satisfaction with the resolution of their issues is related to their access to information about their options – survey participants who were happiest with the outcome of their separation were those with the best access to information about the options available to them.

Nationally, 49% of respondents reported that they felt positive about the outcome of their separation; this rose in areas where participants had the best access to information, but fell in parts of the UK where participants were unaware there were other options available. Nationwide, 15% of people were unaware that there were methods of resolution other than lawyers or court available, which rose to an astonishing 38% among younger respondents.

Additionally, the survey revealed that almost a quarter of separating or divorcing couples pick a method for resolving their issues because it was the cheapest option available to them, but that few couples are aware how the costs of different resolution methods actually compare. Figures from the Ministry of Justice show that mediation tends to be far less expensive than many of its alternatives, but only 2% of respondents reported that they used a family mediation service compared to a total of 35% negotiating through court or solicitors, showing that couples aren’t always aware there is a cheaper alternative.

In light of these results, family mediators are calling for increased availability of practical information and support for separating couples trying to decide how to divide their assets or organise time with their children.

Beverley Sayers, chair of the Family Mediators Association, says: “This research reinforces what many of us in the mediation profession are experiencing on a daily basis. People simply aren’t aware of the options available to them when they separate or divorce, but – as the research findings show – people who make informed decisions based on information and knowledge are generally happier with the outcome of their separation.

“That is precisely why we are supporting Family Mediation Week, which has a single aim: to increase awareness of the benefits of mediation for separating families, to help more people make informed choices about the resolution methods that are best for them and avoid having decisions imposed on them by the courts.”

Running from January 11th-15th, Family Mediation Week aims to empower divorcing and separating couples to make the best decisions for themselves and their families through improving transparency, education, and availability of information. Throughout the week, family mediators will organise initiatives and resources for the public to help raise awareness of family mediation. These include blogs, videos and online resources on the Family Mediation Week website, as well as events and drop-in sessions run by family mediation professionals across the UK.

For more information, please visit:

Family Mediation Week

The Family Mediators Association

Ministry of Justice

 

About the Family Mediators Association (FMA)

The Family Mediators Association is a membership organisation for family mediators. Formed in 1988, it currently represents almost 400 trained family mediators in England and Wales. Its members are professional family mediators trained to a high standard from a wide range of different backgrounds, including family counsellors, lawyers, financial specialists and experts in child development. www.thefma.co.uk

 

About family mediation

Family mediation is a process that enables separating couples to negotiate face-to-face about the arrangements for their future with the help of a qualified, skilled and experienced third party.

Family mediation is confidential, voluntary and impartial. All of the decisions made during family mediation are made by the couple themselves. It provides families with a structured and safe way of resolving their differences at their own pace, with guidance from a trained professional and encourages them to focus on the needs of children and to take into account everything that individual family members believe to be important.

Family mediation can be used effectively by separating couples and families of all types, including cohabiting or same-sex couples.

 

How, Why and What is a Prenup?

Katie McCann
Katie McCann
Head of Family Law and in-house counsel at Kuits Solicitors

When anyone gets married, they truly hope it will last forever; however unfortunately this isn’t always the case.

With 42% of marriages in the UK now ending in divorce, people are extremely keen to take a sensible approach by planning what should happen if their marriage does break down.

Once viewed as an extremely American concept, prenuptial agreements are now becoming a very popular way for couples in the UK to plan for the ‘worst case scenario’.

But what exactly are pre-nups? And are they even legal in the UK? Katie McCann, Head of Family at Kuits Solicitors, answers some important questions which surround this potentially complex area of law.

What is a prenuptial agreement?

A pre-nuptial agreement is an agreement created by a couple before they get married. It sets out what will happen to any assets should their marriage break down.

Why have a prenuptial agreement?

There are several reasons a couple may want to enter into a prenuptial agreement. One spouse may have family wealth requiring protection so that it is ring-fenced and will not form part of a matrimonial claim upon divorce. Even when there isn’t exceptional wealth, couples may prefer to ensure that they are on the same page by having an agreement that clarifies exactly what should happen if they divorce.

The significant benefit of a prenuptial agreement is that things can be agreed in a calm and equitable manner, as opposed to when the relationship has broken down and acrimonious feelings may cause either spouse to act without rationale.

Are they legally binding?

In the UK, prenuptial agreements are not automatically legally binding. However, recent case law seems to suggest that the courts will uphold agreements that have been entered into fairly. There have also been proposals put forward by the Law Commission that state that they should be given legal status.

Who decides on the contents of a prenuptial agreement?

The contents of a prenuptial agreement must be agreed by both parties. Although suggestions may be made by each spouse, both must feel comfortable with the agreement. If they are not, or if the court finds that either spouse was bullied or signed the agreement under duress, then the agreement will not be valid. A prenuptial agreement should therefore not be used to disadvantage one spouse, but rather it should set out a reasonable and equitable agreement.

What should go into a prenuptial agreement?

It may actually be beneficial to first consider what should not go into a prenuptial agreement, so as to avoid the court refusing to uphold certain clauses or, worse, concluding that one clause should invalidate the entire agreement. In order to avoid this, the prenuptial agreement ordinarily would not deal with anything to do with personal issues and instead would focus only on finances.

Child arrangements would rarely be included, as the court cannot guarantee to uphold such clauses on a public policy basis, given the ever changing and unpredictable needs of children as they grow up.

Whilst the contents of a prenuptial agreement will be totally subjective to the couple entering into the marriage, there are common things that are often included. These are:

  • how property should be divided upon divorce,
  • whether any property should be considered separate and therefore ring-fenced, and why
  • who should take responsibility for any debts
  • how inheritance should be dealt with
What is a prenup
What should go into a prenup? Property for one.

The recordings contained within a prenup are just as important as the actual agreements contained within. As an example, it is definitely worth recording that both parties intend for the prenuptial agreement to be binding, and that they both believe the contents of it to be fair.

It is also worth stating that the agreement has been entered into without duress or undue influence and that neither party rushed into signing it.

A recording should be included to state that both parties have taken independent legal advice, and that full and frank financial disclosure has taken place.

A recording should also be included to state that, in the event one clause is disputed, this should not invalidate the whole agreement.

It is not unusual to state that, in the event of divorce, if the prenuptial agreement is contested, the couple should attend mediation at first instance instead of petitioning at court.

Can prenuptial agreements be contested?

There are several reasons why a prenuptial agreement may be contested or found to be invalid. If both parties did not obtain legal advice, or if there was disparity of advice, this may result in one of the parties being prejudiced.

A prenuptial agreement will be contested if one of the parties feel that they had been forced to sign it. This problem commonly occurs when one spouse is presented with an agreement on the eve of the wedding and signs it under duress.

As a rule of thumb, prenuptial agreements should be signed at least 4 weeks in advance of the wedding. Both parties also have a duty to disclose all of their assets before entering into the agreement. It must be the case that each party knows what they are effectively losing or gaining claims over from the start.

What if I’m already married?

Couples that have already married may become aware of the benefits of having a prenuptial agreement and regret not having created one ahead of their wedding. In this case, they will be able to enter into a postnuptial agreement instead.

Postnuptial agreements operate in a similar way to prenuptial agreements; however, as their name suggests, they are entered into once the marriage has occurred. Like prenuptial agreements, they are not 100% legally binding; however, they are likely to be upheld by a court if they are entered into fairly.

Katie McCann is head of family law and in-house counsel at Kuits Solicitors in Manchester City Centre. She has a special interest in resolving high value relationship breakdown disputes.

Accepting Divorce and Moving on

Rasheed Ogunlaru
Rasheed Ogunlaru Leading Life Coach

I had the pleasure of interviewing Rasheed Ogunlaru on divorce and how this introduces us to endings and beginnings and on the role accepting divorce plays in helping us move on.

It was an interview that was full of really valuable information on how to manage the emotions and stresses that accompany the divorce process.

Rasheed has worked with people for a while now and really understands what really goes on for people during their dark times. He has worked with all kinds of people, from those in the public eye to others who looking to move on with their lives and careers.

In this interview, we talked about endings and beginnings.

This is what Rasheed had to say:

What would you say to someone who is going through divorce right one who is considering divorce?

Our whole lives are built around relationships and it can be painful when any kind of relationship comes to an end. You can feel all sorts of emotions.  There’s so much pressure to be a certain way when in a relationship, including how long they should last.

Relationships are like train journeys. There are going to be some relationships where you go through the entire course of that journey together because you’re heading in the same direction.  While there are others where people would get off at different stops because you’re going on your life journey and they are going on their own life journey.

The one person whom you’re stuck with for the entire journey is you.

So you’ve got to take time out for yourself.  For very many people it may have taken them a very long time to even get to this point in their lives in accepting that their relationship isn’t working.

Realise and recognise that there are three things going on at the moment – there’s you, the other person and then there’s the relationship in between and the key thing is how can you honour all three.

How can you honour you?  What is it that you need?  Where are you at?  Is it time for you to move forward?  Are you ready to move on from this relationship?  How do you protect yourself because sometimes things may get very, very unpleasant?

Then there is the other person; and their life, letting them go and moving on without them.  And finally there’s the relationship that is ending.  What it means and how to go about it?  It’s very, very important to honour all three of those spaces.

There can be such huge pressures on what you should do and how you should feel but remember there is no script to follow so what you are feeling is uniquely you.

Divorce and Accepting that it's over
Accepting Divorce – that’s a huge step

The divorce process and the divorce proceedings don’t need to be bitter. It is possible to have an amicable divorce today.  Going to court as a means of going through divorce or the divorce proceedings isn’t always the way.  There are other options including family mediation, collaborative law, working with a McKenzie Friend.

The narrative around divorce doesn’t need to be adversarial. Many couples decide and manage to sort out their divorce proceedings together and amicably.

What about the difference between leaver and the left?  The left who maybe in shock and full of anger?

Give yourself time and space. You may feel numb and unable to do things. Know that there is support out there. You don’t have to go through it alone. Good friends, counsellors,family, therapists but be mindful of the type of support you reach out for.

You may also feel guilt and blame. It’s easier to move forward when you don’t carry such emotions with you. Realise that these things just happen.  Which brings us on to acceptance.

What role does acceptance play?

First of all, acceptance is not about being passive.

Rasheed explains that this is one of the most powerful steps one can take in being able to positively deal with the divorce process and start their life after divorce and separation.

Understand that it is what it is.  That is acceptance.

That moment of acceptance is the beginning of being empowered.  It’s the beginning of thinking, “OK, where am I actually with this?  What help do I need?  What are the things I need to put in place?”

Realise that if it is over, if it is unresolvable, if people are going to go their own way, then you’re going to need to go on a journey.  That is inevitable.  Accept it.

Be mindful of the fact that there will be practical, financial and a lot of things that will need to be addressed, especially with regards to the children of divorce and others concerned but there’s going to be a moment where you are going to need to take care of yourself because you are going to need to address how you are, your own wellbeing, you cannot negate yourself.  And if there are others, you are going to need to be as strong as you can be, for their sake as well as your own.

Addressing things with a good heart and good intentions is something that would be good to do because that’s all part of looking after yourself and moving on because there is still life to be lived!

To finish off – How to deal with divorce?

When going through divorce there are three important elements to keep in mind.

Firstly, what practical support do I need?

Secondly, what issues need to be addressed e.g. the children, the house, and other assets?

Thirdly, how am I looking after my emotions, my spirit, my feelings? What’s the emotional stuff that needs to be addressed or honoured or acknowledged and the support that I need? How am are you feeling in your spirit? Because there may also be that dimension where you would be wrestling with what’s in your heart?

In your heart you might be someone of kindness, someone caring so what is it that’s going to nourish you? Whether that’s spending time in nature or if you someone of faith or a humanist, whatever that looks like for you how are you keeping that going because it is an important part of your life.

Remember that sometimes this can also be a beginning. You are at a new stage in your life. Nothing ever in life is lost.

All those experiences, all those memories they are still alive, they are still all very relevant and you might be able to see them within yourself, within the other, within the children, within the things that you have created.

As strange as it may sound right now, be very grateful for this gift of life and for this opportunity of moving on because it will make you stronger, it will make you wiser and know that you  be ready to love if you open your heart to being loving and kind.

Don’t let the divorce shut out your emotions towards yourself and others. Embrace life and life will embrace you and I wish all the best as you move forward in your life.

Thank you Rasheed.

Rasheed Ogunlaru is a leading life coach, motivational speaker and business / corporate coach.

His clients include entertainers, celebrities, entrepreneurs,  experts, Chief Executives, professionals, healers, therapists, organisations and the public. He specialises in helping people find lasting fulfilment in all areas of their lives, careers and relationships – from within.

Rasaru.com

 

how to get through a divorce

How to Get Through a Divorce

Soila Sindiyo Child Trauma Therapist Founder of The Divorce Magazine
Soila Sindiyo
Child Trauma Therapist
Founder of The Divorce Magazine

If you both decide that it’s best to go your separate ways then here are somethings you may want to keep in mind that I hope will show you how to get through a divorce.

Telling the children

No matter how you do it, remember that this will be a watershed moment in your child’s life.

Avoid making it a “special occasion” by taking them to the cinema, on to Pizza Express and finally telling them when it’s bedtime.  The best place to tell your children about the impending divorce would be in a familiar environment and the best time is a few hours before bedtime.

Telling the children about divorce is obviously never easy but it has to be done and as soon as possible. Avoid telling them that it’s a trial separation if you know that it’s not.  If the marriage has come to an end then tell them exactly that.

Be ready for your teenagers to be angry and embarrassed by you.  They are also very likely to take sides. This is what they do, so please don’t take it personally.

Your teenager may begin to withdraw from you and your family life, don’t let them go to far. Keep them as close to you as possible without being overbearing. Observe them and make sure you keep the door open for any conversation regarding the divorce to come in.

Your younger ones will also naturally be upset and will be able to show it overtly. They may have loads of questions and the wish that this was not happening will be strong. Be prepared to answer the same questions over and over again, it is there way of trying to understand what is going on.

siblings and divorceDon’t assume that your little ones know why you are getting divorced, this includes homes where physical abuse has been present.

You will need to explain to them without getting into details like, “because mummy slept with Uncle Jo while I was in hospital getting better from the fall I had when I was trying to save her cat.”  They don’t need to know this. It helps you, not them.

How to get divorced?

Fortunately, in a weird sort of way, there are so many ways of getting divorced today.

You don’t have to go through the “traditional” route of using divorce lawyers and fighting it out in court. You may want to consider instead:

Just know what your grounds for divorce are – there are 5 in the UK and I urge you to do your research as in which divorce process would be best for you and the children.

If you decide to go through the divorce process by hiring divorce lawyers, then please do visit at least 3 before settling for one. Prepare your questions well before your meeting and take a friend with you who will help you remember what you were told.

Don’t go through divorce alone. It doesn’t help you in anyway to shut yourself out from the world.

Find a good support system from people around you whom you trust and whom you know will be objective, not just take your side because they are your friend.

What happens next?

Once you have told the children, picked the divorce process of your choice and found yourself a good support team (doesn’t have to be 10 people, 2 or three will do fine), be prepared for the journey.

What may start off as an amicable divorce is likely to turn nasty at some point, maybe temporarily so or as in most cases, during the whole duration of the divorce and beyond.

Divorce is hurtful, painful and can bring out the worst in you but when you know how to get through a divorce then the journey may indeed be less distressing.

One of the best pieces of advice that I was given at the time of my divorce was not to take things personally.  This is definitely extremely hard to do but it’s not impossible and once you’re able to do it, you will find no matter what your ex throws at you, you will be able to handle it much better and deal with it much more objectively.

Also, don’t make decisions when angry or upset. Remember,  as Benjamin Franklin said, “Whatever is begun in anger, ends in shame.” Just don’t make any moves when anger is the ruling emotion at the time.

Children need both parents, so I beg you, beg you, beg you, unless there are safety concerns, not to interfere with, disrupt nor sever your child’s relationship with the other parent. It’s one of the most unjust, unfair and unreasonable things you will ever do in your life. Do not parent from your own wounds.

As parents we always say that we will do anything for our children, let this be the case.  As much as you carry very strong negative feeling towards your ex, bear them well but keep your children out of it.

If you’re struggling or have any concerns about your little ones, call me – 07850 85 60 66 or email me soila@thedivorcemagazine.co.uk

 

Soila is the founder of The Divorce Magazine and creator of the online course – Helping Children Cope with Divorce

She is known for taking away the pain of trauma and loss in children, adolescents and their families and is the author of “When Love is Broken. A read-together book for children and parents going through divorce and separation.

Soila holds an MSc in Psychoanalytic Developmental Psychology from UCL (University College London), is an accredited Positive Parenting Program (Triple P) practitioner and a trained Family Mediator.

Soila is Graduate Member of the British Psychological Society.

You can contact her on 07850 85 60 66 or via email soila@thedivorcemagazine.co.uk 

FRIEND OR FOE

Family Arbitration – Friend or foe

Suzy Miller www.thedivorcemagazine.co.ukSo are family law solicitors going to support the education of their clients with regard to accessing Arbitration – or are they going to effectively hinder the process?

Arbitrator Olive McCarthy believes that a setback to the scheme is that unfortunately other family solicitors have yet to embrace the revolutionary process and its benefits. “Arbitrators believe this maybe through a fear on the part of solicitors that they will lose out by referring to Arbitration.

However, clients need representation and advice in the process.

Another fear they may have is that if an award favours one client, the other client may complain about the choice of Arbitrator if their solicitor nominated the Arbitrator. However, The Institute for Family Law Arbitrators (IFLA) can nominate an Arbitrator instead.”

Olive thinks that solicitors may be unsure as to what happens in the process and do not want to look inexperienced in front of their clients. She reassures them: “It’s similar to a First Appointment in financial remedy proceedings but can be adapted so as to suit the circumstances of the case. Nothing to fear!” 

David Hodson OBE, Partner at The International Family Law Group LLP, was the originator and one of the creators of the English family arbitration scheme, and one of the first trained.

He says: “It took 10 years for family arbitration to go from a good idea through to possibility then to reality but it has arrived at just the right time.

family arbitration friend or foe
Family Arbitration – Friend or Foe

With the dramatic cutback in legal aid, ever increasing legal costs, real delays in having cases heard in court and with many people wanting a more flexible and adaptable system for resolving disputes, this is really a good time and opportunity to use family arbitration. Many have already done so and have felt it has been a beneficial experience and outcome. It should be considered by many people and their lawyers.”

James Pirrie of Family Law In Partnership is a staunch supporter of Arbitration and is frustrated by the lack of support from other divorce professionals:

“My experience is that we try much harder as arbitrators and work with fine scalpels instead of the meat cleavers that are more often in evidence at court just because of the pressures of the court list.

I find it infuriating that the resistance to stepping into arbitration so often comes from the divorce professionals.

In their daily lives, those professionals struggle within the court system to deliver principled, efficient, careful and affordable outcomes to their clients but they don’t take the step over the threshold into arbitration which is the system that would enable those goals to be delivered so much more easily.” James Pirrie, Solicitor, collaborative lawyer, arbitrator, mediator & Board member Resolution

I think it will be interesting to see how many Family Law Solicitors in the UK will recommend Financial Arbitration as a good option for those couples who are struggling to come to an agreement on a financial or legal issue.

As is the case with Mediation and Collaborative Law, I feel strongly that it is the general public who need to be more aware of the options open to them, and not wait for the legal profession as a whole to embrace another great tool in the toolbox of a non-adversarial divorce or separation.

The benefits are summed up clearly and in plain-English here by Mediator and Arbitrator Nadia Beckett of Beckett LLP in this short video, and even to a non-legal person, the benefits do seem to be overwhelmingly clear:

For more information regarding Family Arbitration, refer to the IFLA website: ifla.org.uk.

 

By Suzy Miller creator of the Alternative Divorce Guide and the Living Together Agreement

family arbitration

Is Family Arbitration a Flash in the Pan?

Suzy Miller www.thedivorcemagazine.co.ukIt seems clear that Family Arbitration has something to offer in the divorce arena, but will it be adopted by the legal profession as another tool in the divorce tool-box – or be quietly left in a cupboard to be brought into the light only by a small band of hard-core enthusiasts?

It does have some limitations – currently, Arbitration cannot be used to decide children matters.

“Arbitration is certainly …a huge untapped resource at the moment… it can determine financial matters be it a discrete issue such as the level of maintenance or all issues as to financial/property settlement between spouses or unmarried couples…. It is not yet used for matters relating to the welfare of the children.” Olive McCarthy, Breeze & Wyles

Yet – according to Family Arbitrator, Sir Peter Singer – there are some who predict that as a logical development the Family Court judiciary will support this when English private children law principles are applied by experienced and trained family practitioners.

“They point to the fact that child issues are already arbitrated under Scotland’s version of the IFLA Scheme, and anticipate a parallel development south of the border.” Sir Peter Singer

Is Family Arbitration inherently part of an adversarial process?

From legal minds I have heard the viewpoint that Arbitration is inherently ’adversarial’, because it involves someone else making a decision on behalf of the couple.

But personally – as well as in my role as the Alternative Divorce Guide – I see an enormous difference between a couple in mediation mutually agreeing to instruct a highly qualified person to make a decision on a financial issue, which the couple are unable to resolve themselves – and then to continue on with the mediation process – rather than the alternative.

That alternative can often be that the couple give up on their mediation process and go to court, where the mediation agreements to date might be disregarded by the judge. High costs, more inconvenience and greater emotional trauma for the whole family will often ensue.

Because Arbitration keeps the couple ‘in control’ of the process, that in itself should encourage a greater level of communication and cooperation, compared to if they are throwing letters at each other via separate solicitors.

Christopher Pocock QC sees Arbitration as an empowering process for clients: “If you start the arbitration process and then agree, or agree part, that is fine – the arbitration is your process, so insofar as you agree something, it happens”.

Is Family Arbitration just for the rich?

But paying for your own ‘private judge’ – is that something that most ordinary people will be able to afford, or to access? Sir Peter Singer believes that Arbitration is accessible to most people navigating divorce:

“I would like to emphasise that arbitration is not just for the rich and famous: it offers many of the same advantages to Mr and Mrs Average as to those whose net worth is high. And amongst the 130 or so MCIArb qualified arbitrators there is a range of talent and experience and a spread of geographical availability which puts them within the range of most any couple otherwise headed for court.” Sir Peter Singer, Family Dispute Resolution Facilitator and Arbitrator (MCIArb)

“Arbitration is the way forward, the benefits are huge for clients particularly the costs. In the last year, some of the most eminent members of the profession agreed to fix the costs of achieving an award for £1,500 plus Vat – that’s £750 per person in straight forward cases. So strong is the belief and commitment to this scheme, Arbitrators were prepared to effectively “put their money where their mouth is” in making this offer.” Olive McCarthy, Breeze & Wyles

So is Family Arbitration being taken seriously?

Is Family Arbitration
Is Family Arbitration just for the rich?

Arbitration is being taken seriously by judges – perhaps because it has the potential to release some of the burden of litigants clogging up the courts.

The arbitration process for financial disputes in general and the IFLA Scheme in particular has received important endorsement from the President, who heads the Family Division, in a case he decided earlier this year: S v S.

He made it clear that in normal circumstances a court should be swift to confirm an arbitrator’s award in a court order, and to preserve the confidentiality of the process so that individuals and their financial arrangements will be kept free of press or public comment.

Further impressive support since that decision has come from the Financial Remedies Advisory Group’s report at the end of July which, amongst other things, recommended that the President should issue Guidance specifically directed to arbitration and produced a draft which is currently the subject of consultation.

The convenience factor

Perhaps it is the flexibility and convenience of Arbitration that will make it popular with busy professionals who just don’t have the time to battle out their divorce in the court room, let alone the desire for all that additional stress and misery.

“The Arbitration process is flexible in relation to timing. No need to wait for the court to appoint a judge when it suits the court diary. Family Arbitrators are likely to be able to arrange their diaries to suit the parties. So this means late sittings or even weekend sittings. So the couple are not faced with having to come back on an adjourned hearing in 2 or 3 months’ time because the judge is not willing to sit after 4-30.” Martin Loxley, Partner Irwin Mitchell LLP

Who needs to be convinced first – the public – or the legal profession?

Not only do the public need to understand the benefits of Family Arbitration, but so do family lawyers – as it is another tool in the divorce tool-box that can benefit their clients. It’s usefulness is too immense to be disregarded. According to Sir Mathew Thorpe, Arbitration could be one of the most significant developments in the field of dispute resolution…. Ever.

“The creation of the Institute of Family Law Arbitrators in 2012 provides couples with the opportunity to choose arbitration regulated by Arbitration Rules and affiliated to the Chartered Institute of Arbitrators. There has been no more significant development in the history of Family ADR.” Sir Mathew Thorpe

I feel that a process that can add to the empowerment of a couple navigating divorce, by becoming an additional resource to call on during the mediation process if and when required – rather than to take their power away and hand it all over to a judge – has got to be a process worth taking seriously.

“I am quite sure that Arbitration is the future. The court system is woefully underfunded and it is going to all but collapse under the weight of litigants in person.

Family Arbitration provides a flexible and cost-efficient means of resolving disputes.  There is no “one size fits all” approach; the nature and number of hearings is tailored to the particular case.

Family Arbitration can deal effectively with all cases, from those where absolutely everything is in dispute to those where only a few minor issues remain.

It is ideal for those cases where the parties wish to retain control over the timing and cost of the process but nevertheless need someone to decide the case – or parts of it – for them.  The procedure being tailored to each individual case, it is extremely time and cost efficient.” David Walden-Smith MCIArb, Barrister & Family Arbitrator

For more information regarding Family Arbitration, refer to the IFLA website: ifla.org.uk.

Suzy Miller creator of the Alternative Divorce Guide and the Living Together Agreement

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