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Save a Man from Killing Himself – Four Life Events That Can Lead Men to Kill Themselves

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Tim Patten
Tim Patten
Author

Men struggling with issues of identity, purpose and societal expectations have a hard time getting the help they need.

Unlike females, who have various resources at their disposal–many of them free–including women’s studies initiatives, government outreach efforts and nonprofit support programs, males have few places to turn.

In most cases, the only assistance available is what they glean from certain publications or at websites where individuals who have been similarly affected offer support and insights.

For men who feel overwhelmed, being able to learn from and interact with those who are knowledgeable about or who experienced tragedies of their own can be a true lifesaver–literally.

In fact, the lack of understanding regarding issues that have spurred an ever-growing rate of male suicide are one reason why millions of men are connecting with movements like the Red Pill, Herbivore Men and Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW).

Unfortunate, the fact that so many men are reaching like this hasn’t led to more widespread awareness about the immense struggles they face.

Around the world, men are killing themselves, and yet there are plenty of people, such as Huffington Post writer Jane Powel, who don’t know why. According to Powel, “There are speculations on why men commit suicide, theories but no actual nuggets.” However, if she took the time to look carefully, she might understand why things have gotten to where they are.

Sadly, her ignorance exemplifies that of society in regard to men and their place in today’s society.

There are, of course, many reasons why young men take their own lives. In some cases, it reflects the fact that they can’t come to terms with a gay or transsexual identity.

Some are veterans who faithfully served their country but who were left scarred by mental or physical health issues or simply left out in the cold when they exited the military. Others are the downtrodden and the homeless, unfortunate souls whose feelings of hopelessness and despair have forced them to give up on life.

But while these are the rationales that many are familiar with, they are not the only ones. They don’t reflect the pain that tears at the hearts of a great many men–cisgendered straight males, in particular–who have been experiencing the dark realities of relationships with women, raising families, and playing roles imposed on them.

By learning about the issues that have contributed to the suicide epidemic and using that knowledge in a positive way, we may be able to help save someone we care about from their own demise.

Four Life Events That Can Lead Men to Kill Themselves

For the most part, the circumstances that have fostered this disturbing state of affairs can be broken down as follows:

  1. When men get married.

Men and women tend to assume different roles when adjusting to life as a couple. Men are expected to work and do whatever is necessary to make partners happy. Women have various duties they are responsible for, which may involve going to work, overseeing the home, or both.

Typically, women negotiate relationships within the family, largely through verbal communication. However, that role often devolves into something harmful, where the goal is not to communicate but to control and manipulate. Experts say that toxic communications, such as when one person repeatedly nags another, can sink a relationship–or worse.

Men to Kill ThemselvesIn fact, evidence suggests verbal aggression, bickering and daily arguments can have a seriously detrimental effect on men, perhaps because they tend to be results-oriented, and don’t benefit from venting their feelings through social interaction in the way that women do.

Because men are preoccupied with others’ needs and are not communicative by nature, they often bottle things up and don’t share feelings with close friends or family, which can have adverse consequences.

In one study, Dr. Rikke Lund and colleagues from the University of Copenhagen followed 9,875 Danish men and women, aged 36 to 52, for 11 years.

Over that period, 196 of the adults died from causes that ranged from heart disease and cancer to alcohol abuse-related liver disease and suicide.

Men who said they faced “endless” demands from partners or who said things like “she won’t stop talking” with respect to partners were more than twice as likely to become ill and resort to suicide as the group overall.

  1. When married men lose their job or a career.

Reports indicate that age discrimination, downsizing and outsourcing have had an outsized impact on middle-aged white men.

The experience can be a dark, shameful and traumatic, engendering despair, depression and suicide. This stems from the fact that in many families, men are seen as a disposable utility whose primary mission is to cover bills, food, shelter and basic survival.

Males are also assigned a Mr. Fixit role, responsible for repairing leaky pipes and attending to their partner’s emotional grievances–they are the shoulder to cry on.

But with this perspective comes the damage caused when that role disappears.

The loss of a job can destroy a man’s self-worth because it is closely tied to his work identity. Regardless of how or why it occurs, it can lead to a situation where family roles are reversed.

When that happens, he needs a soft, supportive shoulder and not to be told to “man up.” Without the coping skills necessary to adjust, males can fall into a dark place and contemplate ending it all.

  1. When men divorce from their wives.

Every year, almost 800,000 American men are divorced; since no-fault divorce laws were enacted in 1970, over 50 million have endured oppressive splits initiated by their wives.

Many husbands willingly put noses to the grindstone and dedicate themselves to providing for the home, cars, clothing and vacations. But wives are often quite willing to give that up, claiming they are unhappy, and seek custody of the children, half his assets, and child support payments.

When dropped into this bleak, dark vacuum, alone and often without any warning, many men find no one to turn to for support. Research indicates that they are four times more likely to kill themselves if they don’t get help.

  1. When men fight for child custody.

When there is a divorce, it is not uncommon for a horrendous child custody mêlée to ensue.

Up to 70 percent of soon-to-be-ex-husbands will be accused of having engaged in physical or sexual abuse, including molesting and raping their own children. While almost all of these sordid charges will be false, men must endure a painful and humiliating adjudication process or risk losing their parental rights.

Even actor Brad Pitt was left feeling dumbstruck and anguished when accused of abusing his children amid a bitter split with his famous actress wife.

Unfortunately, even when husbands persevere and are proven right, it doesn’t necessarily mean much. Data indicates that women gain custody 60% of the time, which suggests the system is inherently biased against them.

Needless to say, men who lose access to their children experience hopelessness and despair. For many, the final straw comes when somebody they don’t know is allowed to raise their sons and daughters with their ex-wives, leaving many believing that taking their own lives is the only option.

Help Your Man from Killing Himself

Fortunately, things don’t have to end badly. Being aware of the issues and the potential consequences can go some way toward preventing something tragic from happening–before it’s too late. To ensure such a fate doesn’t befall a man you care about, consider the following steps:

  1. Be aware of his situational demeanor. Is he giving away prized possessions, increasing drug or alcohol abuse, or withdrawing from relationships with friends, hobbies and social activities? Has he lost interest in his personal appearance? If he is trying to make such a heavy decision, his thoughts may spin as though moving through different channels. He may dwell or communicate about death, uselessness or suicide in various creative forms, including poetry, music, art, or writing.
  1. Avoid certain natural reactions. Do not panic, criticize or react with drama or anger in the face of such circumstances. Avoid your own self-chastisement and don’t get caught up in the crosscurrents that can swirl through our minds, including:
  • men-to-kill-themselves“How could he do this to me (or us)?”
  • “I have to keep this secret.”
  • “Didn’t I love/watch/listen to him enough?”
  • “Will they try again?”
  • “If I pretend this didn’t happen, it will go away.”
  • “He is just trying to get attention.”
  • “This is not my problem – someone else can deal with it.”

 

  1. Secure the environment. Remove all knives, weapons, pills and guns, as these are the means by which people commonly kill themselves.
  1. Establish a connection. Prepare yourself to speak with him and consider what actions you might need to take. Communicate with him on his terms: if he is a problem-solver, athletic coach-type, or a Mister Fix-it, he may not respond or react well to touchy-feely questions and statements emanating from the feminine side of the brain, including:
  • “How are you feeling?”
  • “Share your emotions.”
  • “You look moody.”
  • “Why won’t you open up to me?”
  • “Can we talk about you?”
  • “How you doing?”

Instead, take into account how the masculine brain works and consider moving in a different direction. Among the things you might want to ask or say are:

  • “When did you start seeing an end?”
  • “Have you figured a way out?”
  • “Are there alternatives you’re considering?”
  • “What are you trying to solve?”
  • “Is there a way out of this situation?”
  • “Where is the end of the rope?”
  • “You’re not alone let me help decide what to do.”
  • “Tell me when you’re ready to give up.”
  • “Have you had enough?”

Hopefully, he will open up, and maybe even admit, “Yes, my life is over.” But that doesn’t mean you should tell him he is wrong or flip into caring and supportive mode. Instead, just keep talking. Probe him with questions such as “When will you do it?” and “What’s the plan for ending it?”

Allow him to experience the full impact of his thoughts and words. Eventually, as the gravity of what he has in mind sets in, his mood should change.

At that point, ask him if he needs help.

Getting Help

Remember, time heals most, if not all wounds. Situations change and when they do, so will his mood. If the issues are largely financial, there will almost certainly be some sort of safety net available–staying with a friend or relative, working things out with those who can supply critical necessities, or even applying for welfare and food stamps.

Of course, as long as he appears vulnerable, don’t leave him floundering on his own.

Stay in contact, keep tabs on what he is up to and, most important, talk to him. If you sense that things have reached a more troubled state, take action and encourage him to seek professional help.

If he has a therapist, put in a call–on an emergency basis, if possible. Otherwise, encourage him to see a qualified male psychologist who can assist him with life decisions, rather than a psychiatrist who may only be interested in giving him medications. While it can be difficult to intervene, try to discourage him from taking anything but anti-depressants.

Should there be any sign at all that his situation is becoming critical, have him contact a local suicide line; alternatively, he can try the national suicide hotline number at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or The Samaritans on 116 123 (UK) .

If that doesn’t work, contact 911 or 999 in the UK and ask for immediate assistance. Medical professionals may decide he needs to be in a secure setting for his own protection. While he may not be happy about this, which might even involve a hold of three days or longer, it is certainly better to see him upset than gone for good.

Find more information here. After such disturbing events, some men have tapped the online MGTOW community for ongoing support, healing and comradery. Encourage him to do the same.

About the Tim

Tim Patten has published the handy investment guide: MGTOW, Building Wealth and Power.

He also wrote WHY I CHEAT – 11 campfire stories for men’s ears only. Both books are a celebration of masculinity and pay homage to the modern men’s liberation movement. Patten previously published a novel about establishing gender equality in professional sports, Roller Babes: 1950s Women of Roller Derby. His coming out biography is titled My Razzle Dazzle and published under the pen name Todd Peterson.

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Divorce and The Myth of Justice in Family Justice

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Johnathan Pease Accredited Family Mediator and PPC
Johnathan Pease
Accredited Family Mediator
and PPC

The myth of justice in Family Justice.

This is a pretty bold title. Am I, as a mere Family Mediation Council Accredited (FMCA) mediator really challenging the idea that the Family Justice system has anything at all to do with meting out justice?  Yes, I am.

It is almost a daily occurrence as a FMCA mediator to hear about someone ‘s feelings of being unfairly treated by their ex-partner.

Sometimes, clients tell me of how hard they’ve worked, or how they’ve given their ex the best years of their life, only to now find themselves replaced by a wealthier or younger model.

Other times it describes the way a non-resident parent feels about how difficult it is to see their children and how they are being blocked by an obstructive ex-partner. In yet other instances it describes a deeply held belief in what they see as their moral right to a certain share of a family asset pot – either because they feel they were the one who worked so hard for it, or because they feel as it is their spouse who wants to end the marriage, why should they lose out?

In almost all cases, there is a belief that if a judge or other authority could only hear about these personal injustices that this court or authority will see the truth, make a judgement and put things right. Unfortunately, this is simply not the case.

The family court system does not in any way concern itself with personal, relational issues. It is only concerned with those elements of the Matrimonial Causes Act of 1973 (and the few amendments since) that apply. In essence, these are to do with the assurance that children are kept safe, are housed and to the greatest degree possible continue to have two parents who can, and will support them.

The Court will also want to ensure that both parties have provided full and frank financial disclosure so that there is absolute clarity about the financial picture before making a decision. If couples go to final hearing and the Court is asked to make a judgment on their behalf, effectively telling them how things will be split, no amount of emotional appeal will have an impact.

Judges will not concern themselves with the fact that your – now ex – partner promised to love you until the day they died but then reneged on that promise and has fallen in love with someone else. They will not punish your ex for lying to you about all those times they said they were playing golf or visiting a sick friend but were really with their lover. The incredibly frustrating and rather sad fact for many is that no amount of proof gathering, or case building will change this.

myth of family justiceThe traditional adversarial type of litigation is basically what we see in the Family Court system.

This has led to a system of “family justice” that for the average family it results in little more than seeing the children of their solicitor and barrister go to a great university. Fighting it out in court, hoping for a judge to see how awful your ex is, such that you are then provided with an award of most of the assets in retribution doesn’t really work.

Even in those rare cases where a judge is swayed by an argument, or where the judge does provide a partner or spouse with the lion’s share of the assets because he feels sorry for a spouse, the legal costs averaging £23,000 per person to receive that award usually completely wipes out any benefit you may have though you were getting (this is the average cost per person for a low to middle income family).

To top that off, as if this financial cost isn’t enough, a battle such as this will almost certainly impact the children and the love/respect they feel for you as parents.

I want to be completely clear on this point: a drawn out legal battle will affect the children’s opinion of BOTH parents.

Children do not simply side with judges, and punish the parent who loses in such a battle. They also have their opinions about the parent who destroyed their other parent in court. Remember, that no matter how much you dislike your ex, or feel they’ve lied or been unfair to you, to your children that person is still their father (or mother as the case may be). Your children are made up from the DNA of both of you.

Two years of hearing about how awful their other parent is (the average length of a family court case), means to put your children through 24 months of hearing that half of their genetic make-up is in some way flawed. Few children will thank you for that.

So where do people who feel they’ve been treated unfairly go? What can they do with these feelings? How can things be put right? These are difficult questions to answer properly in an article such as this.

Certainly, in terms of putting things right and ensuring that someone who has betrayed you is brought to justice, this might not be possible. If you are on the receiving end of something like this, it may well be that for you the only real recourse is to find the right support to help you through it. Wider families, support professionals such as counsellors or therapists and the love of close friends may be the thing that helps you get out the other side.

In regards to reaching a fair financial settlement and ensuring that any injustices that have occurred in the past are not allowed to continue, working with an accredited family mediator will save you a significant amount of time and money over the route of court and litigation.

Attend an initial information meeting with your local FMCA mediator about the options you have, and how mediation might be the thing to ensure that going forward, you are able to keep your savings, the respect of your children, and your own personal dignity.

About the Author

Johnathan Pease, of New Landscape Mediation, is a highly experienced family mediator with over 20 years of experience working in family conflict resolution both as a mediator and Family Consultant.

A fully accredited BACP psychotherapist, Johnathan holds several qualifications with ADRg – including Direct Child Consultant (DCC). He is an accredited Civil/Commercial mediator, a member of the UK College of Mediators, and an affiliate member of Resolution.

Johnathan’s flexible and pragmatic approach to mediation makes the most of his understanding of interpersonal dynamics for the benefit of all concerned.

As a father of 2 children, and having experienced a family breakdown himself, Johnathan recognises that there are often many layers to the end of a marriage hindering a successful settlement than first meets the eye. Johnathan applies his varied training and life experience to the time sensitive and practical needs of family mediation with consistent success.

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collaborative divorce
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Going Through a Divorce? What you Need to Know about Collaborative Divorce

Published on
Vanessa Fox
Vanessa Fox Partner and Head of Family Law hlw Keeble Hawson

What is Collaborative Divorce?

This is an alternate dispute resolution that brings both parties and both of their solicitors into the same room in a series of four-way meetings.

The approach is to achieve an agreed solution to family difficulties out of court and agree arrangements for children and finances amicably

The process means that you see and speak to your former partner and his or her lawyer, which helps to build understanding and achieve the outcome that suits you both best.

In the room, lawyers who have been specifically trained and accredited by Resolution, the family lawyer organisation, work with both of you to reach the right solutions for you and your family.

You will still have your own independent legal team with you – and you and your former partner remain in control of the process and the agenda.

What are the Benefits of using the Collaborative Divorce Process?

Collaborative process is designed to be less combative and protracted, with all involved undertaking to reach an agreement without a court battle, avoiding what can be an enormously stressful, intimidating and costly experience.

Unlike the court system, this process takes place in private, at venues where both parties feel comfortable.

The four-way meetings allow you to work things out together, expressing your viewpoint to your ex-partner, rather than filtering it through lawyers by letter or phone. This produces much quicker responses – and the family lawyers help keep your interactions as constructive and helpful as possible, while supporting you and identifying options with you.

Throughout the sessions, your priorities and concerns will be paramount, as you move towards an agreement at a speed dictated by you, not a court timetable.

A key benefit of this process is that the lawyers sign the participation agreement themselves and thus commit themselves to the success of the process.

As such, they can minimise difficulties and prevent breakdowns in the negotiations, working together to create better understanding between couples. This in turn will reduce the chances of lingering bitterness, which is better for any children involved.

What does this Process Entail? How does it Work?

Collaborative process involves a series of four-way meetings supported by an agreement to avoid taking disputed issues to litigation, which ensures everyone is focused on agreement, not conflict. A commitment to reaching a fair solution for all the family (rather than simply “winning”) is the key.

The final agreement is converted into an agreed court order; a result created by the lawyers and ex-partners together that provides the best chance for a better long-term relationship.

Resolution is often achieved quicker and more creatively in this process rather than a court-imposed timetable and outcome. The couple concerned remain in control of their futures, rather than leaving a stranger (the judge) to decide for them.

Vanessa Fox, marks 25 years as head of the firm’s family law department in 2016.

Collaboratively trained and a qualified mediator, she has modernised South Yorkshire Resolution since becoming chair in 2013 and is also a member of the Law Society’s Family Law Panel and the Children Panel.

Visit www.hlwkeeblehawson.co.uk for more information.

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MIAMs are Not the Way to Encourage Divorcing Couples to Mediate
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MIAMs are Not the Way to Encourage Divorcing Couples to Mediate

Published on
Katie McCann
Katie McCann
Head of Family Law and in-house counsel at Kuits Solicitors

The Ministry of Justice recently published the Legal Aid Statistics for October to December 2015, which revealed that the number of Mediation Information and Assessment Meetings (MIAMs) have continued to decline and were down by 16% in the last quarter.

MIAMs were introduced in April 2011 and became compulsory for divorcing couples to attend in April 2014 before they’re granted permission for their matter to be progressed to court.

The aim of the meetings is to assess whether mediation is an appropriate way to resolve any issues and, ultimately, to try to avoid court proceedings.

The Advantages of Mediation

While mediation is not suitable for every case, it certainly has its benefits. Going to court may provide closure, but it puts decision-making in the hands of a judge. Mediation, on the other hand, provides the divorcing couple with far more control and allows them to work together to reach practical agreements.

Cooperating to reach conclusions leads to a far less hostile environment, where communication is encouraged and stress levels can be reduced.

Mediation also often allows for a far speedier process, which is significantly cheaper than litigation, and it can be especially useful when reaching decisions in relation to any children, where flexibility and compromise is vital.

Why aren’t MIAMs Leading to More Mediation?

Despite the above advantages, the introduction of compulsory MIAMs have not resulted in the desired increase in the use of mediation.

There are several reasons for this.

The first, quite correctly, is the existence of several exemptions that automatically permit non-attendance at a MIAM, based on the fact that mediation would be unsuitable for the couple in question.

MIAMs are Not the Way to Encourage Divorcing Couples to MediateLogical exceptions include situations where there has been an allegation of domestic violence in the last 12 months, where the whereabouts of one ex-spouse is unknown, or where any delay caused by attending a MIAM would cause significant harm to a child, a significant risk of a miscarriage of justice, or unreasonable hardship.

These exemptions, together with several others, are perfectly understandable and forcing such couples to attend mediation would be, at best, pointless and, at worst, unethical.

However on the other side, a MIAM form can be ‘signed-off’ if a session could not go ahead due to the non-attendance of one of the parties (without good reason). This option, which arguably reduces the process to a box-ticking exercise, seems to be counter-productive.

After all, MIAMs are either compulsory or they are not. Failure to show up should not be as accepted as a satisfactory excuse in the way it currently is.

Furthermore, even when separating couples willingly attend a MIAM, it only results in the use of mediation in less than a quarter of cases. For this reason the question must be asked, if compulsory MIAMs are not successfully encouraging the use of mediation as a method of alternative dispute resolution, then what will?

A Proposed Solution – Make Mediation Compulsory Instead

It seems that the obvious way to increase the use of mediation is to make mediation itself compulsory.

While this appears somewhat draconian at first glance, if approached sensibly it may have the desired outcome and inconvenience the parties no more than attending a MIAM currently does.

Firstly, it would be feasible to require compulsory attendance at a couple of mediation sessions, while retaining the exemptions that currently exist for MIAMs. The information that is currently provided at a MIAM could either be discussed at the beginning of the session or sent ahead in the post, with the mediation session highlighting the benefits that can be achieved.

After all, the best way to decide whether something will be a success is to try it out.

Those who oppose compulsory mediation will argue that it would be unfair to impose it on the unwilling couples who, to put it bluntly, cannot stand the sight of each other. It is important to remember however, that there is no need for such parties to even see each other at mediation – it can take place in separate rooms, with the mediator going in-between.

The compulsory nature of the first few sessions would also remove the need for one of the parties to suggest the use of mediation, putting the separating couple on an equal footing from the offset.

Compulsory mediation may not appeal to everyone, however the suggestion is born from the fact that couples are already being ‘forced’ to attend MIAMs, which are not obtaining the desired results.  The obligatory nature of this has already been established so extending this principle to require attendance at an actual mediation session would simply increase couples’ awareness of its benefits.

Let’s not forget, mandatory mediation would only be for couples who wish to proceed to court – those who are willing to negotiate by themselves, or through solicitors, would be left alone to do so.

But we think it’s time to face reality – MIAMs aren’t the best way to encourage mediation – mediation is the best way to encourage mediation.”

Katie McCann is head of family law and in-house counsel at Kuits Solicitors in Manchester City Centre. She has a special interest in resolving high value relationship breakdown disputes.

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In Converstation with Farhana Dhalla – How I Survived Infidelity and Divorce

Published on
Farhana Dhalla Author of Thank You For Leaving Me
Farhana Dhalla
Author of
Thank You For Leaving Me

The book is the result of a life experience.

The book starts off at the beginning of the end of her marriage.  It was valentines day when she found out that her husband had bought a gift for another woman. This left Farhana in a surreal state, with this shocking piece of news.

The shock was one of the things but when he actually did confirm to me that yes he wanted out of the marriage, and that he had been wanting out of the marriage for a long time, Farhana’s very, very first feeling was relief!

But she didn’t pay attention to the relief and the next feeling that came up was fear and that made more sense to her so that’s the one she went with and she talks about how she stayed in that state of fear trying to hold on to something that was clearly over.

What she now understands is that that was the voice of truth. 

Anytime truth has been spoken, we feel relief because truth is our natural state.  The soul is always calling for truth and because she had never entertained the prospect of divorce in her life, something big needed to occur in order for the truth to just be known.

It all happened very quickly.  The kids knew within the hour.  She went into a numb place and became more of an observer than a participant.

How did they handle their 6 year old’s daughter’s question, “Are you two splitting up?”  Farhana didn’t need to verbally respond because her daughter could read it on her face.

  • How did Farhana find out about her husband’s affair?  It was the scent and the receipt that gave it away.
  • How did they tell the children who were 6, 5 and 1 at the time?
  • What was her saving grace?
  • What was Farhana’s biggest lesson from this experience?  That she couldn’t be victim and free at the same time.

Listen to Farhana’s remarkable journey.  How her husband’s leaving brought her into her own being.  How the shame engulfed her especially coming from a family where divorce was very rare.

Unfortunately this recording is no longer available

Author Farhana Dhalla is a much-loved coach, speaker and author who offers an honest and raw look at how to recover and rebirth yourself after the end of a marriage.

She chronicles the process of going through the ‘crunchy’ times and arriving at a spiritual awakening where her great realization came in seeing that everything was happening FOR her versus TO her.

This profound realization changed the lens in which she views everything making way for the Magnificent life that laid ahead to unfold. This is your possibility too.

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What is a Freelancer
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Back to Work – What is a Freelancer?

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Griselda Kumordzie Togobo
Griselda Kumordzie Togobo Owner of Forward Ladies

Being self-employed is a decision that isn’t taken lightly by most people.

The legal structure you choose to operate your business with should be taken just as seriously as the initial decision to go self-employed. This is because the legal structure impacts the potential risks, compliance issues, financial and tax implications that you will face as a self employed business owner.

Lets assume that as a first step into self-employment, you decide to trade your skills as a professional freelancer.

Freelancing and contracting tend to be used interchangeably however the main difference is with the number of clients you work with at any given time.

Whilst freelancers tend to work with several clients at a given time, contractors tend to be contracted to work with just one client over a fixed period of time. Whether you call yourself a freelancer or contractor is irrelevant to Her Majesty Revenue and Customs (HMRC), you still need to make sure that you pay the right tax on time.

HMRC are very keen on investigating “employees” disguised as limited companies in order to pay a lower corporation tax rate. This is called the IR35 status which every freelancer or contractor needs to be aware of. This can potentially create fines and huge tax charges accumulated as a result of being taxed at a lower limited company rate.

Freelancers enjoy flexibility, independence and freedom as a result of being their own boss. As a freelancer, you have the option of operating your freelance business as a sole trader, limited company, partnerships or limited liability partnerships or through a PAYE umbrella company.

What is a freelancer?  Each will be described briefly but it is always worth speaking to an accountant to decide the best structure for you.

Sole trader

A sole trader is simply someone who runs a business without registering it separately as a different entity.

This is the simplest and least cumbersome way of starting and running a business. All you need to do is inform the Inland Revenue within 3 months of starting to trade that you are now a sole trader.

The downside of being a sole trader is that you are personally liable and responsible for any debts run up by your business. This effectively means that your personal assets may be recovered to pay off any debts that your business racks up! A sole trader pays income tax and national insurance contributions on their earnings.

what is a freelancerLimited company

When you operate your freelance business through a limited company, you become a director who is responsible for managing the affairs of the business (which is considered to be separate from you).

Having a limited company offers some protection when things go wrong.

Your personal assets are protected in case the company has to be liquidated or dissolved which usually happens when the company is unable to meet its financial commitments.

You are personally protected from bankruptcy arising from business losses. This makes it easier to recover from any business failures and to try again. There are also tax advantages in the form of lower tax rates and deductible expenses for limited companies. Directors of limited companies pay both Income Tax and NICs on their director’s earnings.

 

Partnerships (ordinary or limited)

Partnerships are business where two or more persons, the partners set up a business and share the risks, costs and responsibilities of being in business.

Partners can be individuals, businesses or other partnerships. Ordinary partnerships are unincorporated businesses (the business has no separate identity from the partners). An ordinary partnership is the simplest form of partnership much like a sole trader.

With limited partnerships or limited liability partnerships the business is registered as a separate entity therefore the personal assets of the partners are protected when things go wrong, similar to a private limited company.

Each partner in any partnership needs to pay tax on their share of the profits and gains, and make National Insurance contributions on their earnings.

The main issues with incorporation (for both partnerships and limited companies) are the burden and cost of compliance. If you are however serious about running a freelance business then you shouldn’t be discouraged by the extra administration. In most cases, the benefits of incorporation far outweigh the disadvantages.

PAYE Umbrella companies

Freelancing through an umbrella company is a hustle free way of freelancing because you effectively outsource the invoicing and administrative aspect of being in business to the umbrella company who act as your employers.

The umbrella company acts as an agency and contracts you to various organisations.

The umbrella company pays you a salary through PAYE so you don’t need to worry about tax and NIC contributions but you potentially earn less than the other structures because you directly or indirectly pay for the service.

As a final word, starting any business venture is exciting but you must be certain there is a market and demand for your expertise.

Without demand, it can be stressful and an uphill struggle getting clients, which defeats the whole purpose of freelancing in the first place.

 

Griselda Kumordzie Togobo is a business consultant, speaker and coach dedicated to helping business owners increase their profits and productivity. She is a chartered accountant and holds an MPhil in Industrial Systems, Manufacture and Management from Wolfson College, Cambridge University.

I’m also an Enterprise Ambassador at Leeds University and guest lecture on entrepreneurship.

I founded AWOVI Consulting after a career with an international professional services firm where I provided business advisory services to small and medium sized Enterprises, Charities, The NHS and blue-chip companies.

I also own and run Forward Ladies where I am on a mission to make a difference in the lives of entrepreneurs as well as career women. Check it out.

 

 

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Prenups – Seven Pertinent Questions to Pop

Published on
Peter Jones Partner Jones Myers
Peter Jones
Partner
Jones Myers

As the euphoric flurry of Valentine’s Day proposals starts to diminish, engaged couples would be wise to consider taking out pre-nups – particularly if they have tied the knot before.

The importance of planning such agreements is also timely following a recent survey which revealed that one in ten married Brits regret not insisting that their husband or wife signed a pre-nuptial agreement.

It may seem unromantic, but a frank talk about financial provisions before tying the knot could help prevent heartbreak in the long term.

Disagreements about money are one of the major causes of bitterness, uncertainty, anxiety and cost arising from marital breakdown marital breakdown. It is far better to have agreed how to split your assets and to have drawn up a prenuptial agreement before you say ‘I do’.

Prenups are on the increase, and are particularly popular with couples marrying for a second time. Here are answers to seven of the most commonly asked questions:

I’m not super rich – is a prenup right for me?

While it’s true that pre-nuptial agreements were once regarded as the preserve of the wealthy, people with more modest incomes are increasingly seeking advice because they understand the benefits of setting one in place.

If you want to ensure that your finances, house and other assets are shared fairly on divorce then a prenup is for you.

prenupsWhy do people opt for a prenup?

For all kinds of reasons. They may be marrying for a second time and want to preserve certain assets for their children from previous relationships. They may likewise want to ensure that children from this second marriage will be treated fairly if the relationship breaks down.

Some people seek to protect inherited wealth or savings built up before the marriage.

Does a premarital agreement mean I can hide money from my fiancée?

It must be stressed that trying to hide assets is never acceptable. All engaged people should have full and frank discussions with their partners about finances before they sign a pre-nuptial arrangement.

Prenups can help protect every asset you own – you can also ring fence as much or as little as you like. If you haven’t been open and transparent when you signed the agreement, then a court could throw it out should you and your partner divorce.

Are prenups legally binding?

They are not currently legally binding in England and Wales, although the law may change. However, a carefully thought through agreement, drawn up with independent advice, is quite likely to be upheld by a court. Prenups are also more likely to be accepted by a divorce judge if they were agreed well in advance of a marriage – and if there is no implication that one party was coerced into signing.

I’m remarrying and my fiancée and I both have children – do we need a premarital arrangement?

Most definitely. The hope is that you and your partner have a long and lasting marriage, however when you both have children it would be sensible to ensure that they are provided for if you do divorce.

Failure to do this could result in your children from your first marriage receiving nothing. This is because your assets could automatically default to your most recent wife and to any children you have together. As your fiancée has children too, it is most certainly in their interests to draw up a prenup.

When should I draw up such an arrangement?

The sooner the better – and at least 21 days before the wedding if you want to ensure that the prenup is as watertight as possible. The difficulties encountered with pre-nup agreements are that judges remain concerned when the agreements are signed under pressure. There is little time to reflect or be confident about the terms and judges may ignore or vary them.

How do I find out more?

You should contact a collaborative law firm – have a look at Resolution for lawyers in your area.

Your lawyer will encourage you and your partner to look at your finances and to consider how your married lives might pan out – for example, if you have children and one of you gives up work. Good planning and being well informed are key to a robust prenup.

 

Peter Jones is one of the country’s leading and most sought-after divorce and family lawyers, and one of only four qualified arbitrators in Yorkshire.

A former Deputy District Judge for 15 years, he set up the first niche family law firm in the north of England in 1992 – Jones Myers – and has acted for a string of high-profile clients.

Renowned for his sympathetic approach, he is a former national chairman of Resolution (formerly the Solicitors Family Law Association) – an organisation of over 6,500 family lawyers who are committed to the constructive resolution of family disputes.

Leeds and Essex based Jones Myers, consistently top-rated Yorkshire family law firm by Chambers and the Legal 500 Legal Guides, has been one of the pioneers of collaborative family law – known as the ‘pain-free way to divorce’ – which advocates a more amicable, and often speedier, route to divorce, without resorting to the courts.

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What I learned From My Divorce – Vena Ramphal

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Vena Ramphal THE Passion Coach
Vena Ramphal – THE Passion Coach

2003 was the most challenging year of my life.

I had married a wonderful man in 2000 – someone I’d met at university a few years before. I meant my wedding vows; in my mind, this relationship was for life. But by 2003 I felt trapped. However, I was determined not to give up. So I didn’t.

By autumn 2004 it was clear that ‘not giving up’ was killing me internally. I felt like my soul was dying. I knew that I could choose to stay in the marriage and that my zest for life would shrivel up, or I could get a divorce.

The first made me feel numb. The second made my heart pound, my mouth go dry and my palms sweat. I chose the second – it felt stressful but a pounding heart at least told me I was alive.

Numbness was deadness. Before taking any action I took the time to take wise counsel from a couple of professionals, and to talk with my husband. Over the course of a few months my next step became clear.

At the end of February 2005 I moved out of my marital home. So began the most rollercoaster year of my life. There was exhilaration, grief, uncertainty, freedom, new adventures and the unknown territory of the divorce process. All of this made for full, bittersweet, exhausting and deeply fulfilling year.

The thing about divorce is that the deep, emotional upheaval is accompanied by disruption of your daily life. There were moments when it felt like I had nothing to hold on to. I remember one day walking down the street to my new home and suddenly everything felt surreal. For a moment I wasn’t sure whether I really lived there – I wasn’t sure if I was awake or dreaming.

To keep myself grounded and put these surreal moments into perspective I put in place a few ‘anchors’ – small things that brought stability to my daily reality.

This was my favourite. I had a colourful, luxurious shawl that was a gift from a dear friend. The first night that I slept in my new home I draped the shawl on my pillow. I did this with the express intention that when my head touched the pillow each night I would sink into a feeling of warm, indulged security. It worked. I suggest you do something similar to create an anchor for yourself at this time of transition.

 

Solo Responsibility

When you’re married you share household responsibilities. Suddenly being solo, you have to learn or re-learn the things that your ex-partner used to look after.

Household responsibilities are the boring but essential details of life – such as paying council tax or taking out the recycling. I remember feeling annoyed at this aspect of being single.

What I learned from my divorce
Don’t be embarrassed. Ask for help from trusted friends.

It was an added irritation at a time when I could have done without yet another thing to learn. I remember calling a friend and asking her to help me by talking me through some of these dull but important mechanics of the daily running of a household.

When I coach people who are newly separated I notice that many of them feel embarrassed to ask for this sort of help.

Don’t be embarrassed. Ask for help from trusted friends. Divorce is a big deal and getting help with these details will lighten the load on your mind and heart, as well as saving you time and energy you would waste trying to figure it all out yourself.

 

Telling Friends and Family

I told friends and family in my own time. I told some straightaway, and I waited months to tell others. I had an experience very early on that taught me an important lesson. I called a friend – someone who I felt very close to – to say that I was splitting up with my husband and was looking for somewhere to live.

Her response was disapproving and distant. This took me completely by surprise.

I was in ‘fast learning’ mode and decided there and then to pace myself in sharing my news. I realised that I just didn’t have the emotional bandwidth to deal with everyone’s response to my divorce. My own emotions were taking up most of my energy. I let go of any sense of obligation to tell people about my relationship status before I was ready to do so. I was pretty sure that some people would react negatively so I waited until I was settled in my new life before I told them. The result was that I was able to handle their reaction constructively.

Whether it was you or your partner who initiated the divorce, you won’t always be able to predict how people will respond. Remember that people often have strong feelings about divorce because the ‘happily ever after’ fairytale is so embedded in our social psyche. If you’re caught off guard and get a negative response when you were expecting a supportive one, close the conversation quickly and politely. Avoid getting defensive or explaining yourself.

 

datingDating

One of the best things about 2005 was dating. I had a fantastic time.

I was unapologetic in my no-strings-attached, I-want-to-have-fun approach to dating. I relished the heartful messiness of romance and sex. Each connection glimmered with soulful sensuality and playfulness.

I know that my unabashed ‘I want to have fun’ approach won’t suit everyone. The point is that you should be unapologetically yourself in dating after divorce. Date in a style that suits you, whatever anyone else thinks.

 

Committing to my own happiness

When I embarked on my new single life I came home to myself in a way that I never had before. Having tasted the misery of feeling trapped as I did in the last two years of my marriage, I was determined to settle for nothing less than happiness in all aspects of my life.

So, as well as negotiating the territory of divorce I also decided to shake things up in my work life. I had enjoyed a wonderful career as a classical Indian dancer and choreographer. But it was time for something new, although I didn’t know what that was. So I decided to enter a transition period, continuing to work in the world of dance while I explored new possibilities. That exploration and retraining lasted a couple of years and gave rise to my new career as a relationship coach and mentor.

Its not unusual for newly separated or divorced people to feel the desire for new things and new freedoms – to express themselves in new ways. This is a good time to commit – or re-commit – to your own happiness.

Vena Ramphal – Follow Vena on Twitter

 

Vena Ramphal is THE Passion Coach specialising in romance and erotic pleasure.

She facilitates people to make choices that bring them more fulfilling love lives, whether its ending a partnership, creating a new relationship, or cultivating a deeper experience of erotic pleasure.

Vena’s work draws on the erotic wisdom of the kama sutra traditions and classical Indian philosophy.

As a coach she brings warmth, clarity, a sense of play and a deep belief that life should be delicious.

 

 

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when to get divorced

When to get a Divorce

Published on
Women and Divorce
Wendi Schuller
Author of
The Global Guide to Divorce

When on the fence about divorce, consider marital counselling, even if your spouse refuses to participate.

This will help you recognize if the marriage is salvable or if you have been missing these clues that have led others to file for divorce or know when to get a divorce:

  • You are repulsed by your spouse and do not want to be alone with them. Being in different postal codes would be even better. Sex is a distant memory. Doing things together is just not your cup of tea. You do not even like them and feel trapped being in the relationship. This is not the same as couples losing the spark that initially attracted them to each other. That often can be relit by a holiday in an exotic local or discovering a new passion that draws them back together.
  • Are your beliefs and ethics opposite? When a spouse continues to have affairs and states that you are overreacting, then consider making a permanent exit. It is being callous with complete disregard for your feelings to say you are the one with the problem, since you cannot accept it. This repeated bad behaviour with no remorse, is showing a lack of respect for you.
  • Your partner has an addiction and no amount of rehab has stopped it. There are repeated promises and tears, yet the problem remains. It could be gambling away your joint finances or being impaired. You have been patient but enough is enough. It is not healthy for you to watch someone you love self-destruct with this slow suicide. Stop playing a part in their destructive drama and walk away to protect your well-being.
  • One or both of you are completely indifferent. You may lead separate lives but still share the same address. Having a spouse turn into a roommate keeps you trapped in a rut. Consider breaking free to have a fulfilling life and the opportunity to meet someone else. Getting a divorce takes money and energy and this may not be the path you choose at this moment in time.
  • Is there some type of abuse, even if not physical? Emotional and financial abuse erodes a spouse’s self-worth. Being treated in a condescending way as if you were a servant is demeaning. Some spouses belittle their partners by “joking.” They then ask why the other person cannot take a little teasing. These are the couples I witnessed getting divorces fairly quickly. Belittling a person in front of friends and family is especially out of line. A toxic relationship can result when a partner has a personality disorder and is unable to have empathy or kindness. These people can have loads of charisma, but decide if that is enough to stay married to them or not.
  • You both may have metamorphosed into quite different people during the marriage. Individually you two may be happy and fulfilled, but out of sync as a couple. People can drift so far apart over the years that they cannot sustain a marriage and this brings stress.

When something is off and you cannot put your finger on it, consider a trial separation.

Taking a breather from each other for a few months can put the relationship into perspective. Having distance can give some clarity into what is going on in the marriage.

If you feel so much better being alone, this is a major clue that divorce may be the solution. Divorce does not have to terminate your relationship, but rather changes it. Some former couples who are now divorced are closer now than they were when married.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE ARTICLES BY WENDI SCHULLER

ABOUT WENDI

Wendi Schuller is a nurse, hypnotherapist and is certified in Neuro-linguistic Programing (NLP).

Her most recent book is The Global Guide to Divorce and she has over 200 published articles.

She is a guest on radio programs in the US and UK. Her website is globalguidetodivorce.com.

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How, Why and What is a Prenup?

Published on
Katie McCann
Katie McCann
Head of Family Law and in-house counsel at Kuits Solicitors

When anyone gets married, they truly hope it will last forever; however unfortunately this isn’t always the case.

With 42% of marriages in the UK now ending in divorce, people are extremely keen to take a sensible approach by planning what should happen if their marriage does break down.

Once viewed as an extremely American concept, prenuptial agreements are now becoming a very popular way for couples in the UK to plan for the ‘worst case scenario’.

But what exactly are pre-nups? And are they even legal in the UK? Katie McCann, Head of Family at Kuits Solicitors, answers some important questions which surround this potentially complex area of law.

What is a prenuptial agreement?

A pre-nuptial agreement is an agreement created by a couple before they get married. It sets out what will happen to any assets should their marriage break down.

Why have a prenuptial agreement?

There are several reasons a couple may want to enter into a prenuptial agreement. One spouse may have family wealth requiring protection so that it is ring-fenced and will not form part of a matrimonial claim upon divorce. Even when there isn’t exceptional wealth, couples may prefer to ensure that they are on the same page by having an agreement that clarifies exactly what should happen if they divorce.

The significant benefit of a prenuptial agreement is that things can be agreed in a calm and equitable manner, as opposed to when the relationship has broken down and acrimonious feelings may cause either spouse to act without rationale.

Are they legally binding?

In the UK, prenuptial agreements are not automatically legally binding. However, recent case law seems to suggest that the courts will uphold agreements that have been entered into fairly. There have also been proposals put forward by the Law Commission that state that they should be given legal status.

Who decides on the contents of a prenuptial agreement?

The contents of a prenuptial agreement must be agreed by both parties. Although suggestions may be made by each spouse, both must feel comfortable with the agreement. If they are not, or if the court finds that either spouse was bullied or signed the agreement under duress, then the agreement will not be valid. A prenuptial agreement should therefore not be used to disadvantage one spouse, but rather it should set out a reasonable and equitable agreement.

What should go into a prenuptial agreement?

It may actually be beneficial to first consider what should not go into a prenuptial agreement, so as to avoid the court refusing to uphold certain clauses or, worse, concluding that one clause should invalidate the entire agreement. In order to avoid this, the prenuptial agreement ordinarily would not deal with anything to do with personal issues and instead would focus only on finances.

Child arrangements would rarely be included, as the court cannot guarantee to uphold such clauses on a public policy basis, given the ever changing and unpredictable needs of children as they grow up.

Whilst the contents of a prenuptial agreement will be totally subjective to the couple entering into the marriage, there are common things that are often included. These are:

  • how property should be divided upon divorce,
  • whether any property should be considered separate and therefore ring-fenced, and why
  • who should take responsibility for any debts
  • how inheritance should be dealt with
What is a prenup
What should go into a prenup? Property for one.

The recordings contained within a prenup are just as important as the actual agreements contained within. As an example, it is definitely worth recording that both parties intend for the prenuptial agreement to be binding, and that they both believe the contents of it to be fair.

It is also worth stating that the agreement has been entered into without duress or undue influence and that neither party rushed into signing it.

A recording should be included to state that both parties have taken independent legal advice, and that full and frank financial disclosure has taken place.

A recording should also be included to state that, in the event one clause is disputed, this should not invalidate the whole agreement.

It is not unusual to state that, in the event of divorce, if the prenuptial agreement is contested, the couple should attend mediation at first instance instead of petitioning at court.

Can prenuptial agreements be contested?

There are several reasons why a prenuptial agreement may be contested or found to be invalid. If both parties did not obtain legal advice, or if there was disparity of advice, this may result in one of the parties being prejudiced.

A prenuptial agreement will be contested if one of the parties feel that they had been forced to sign it. This problem commonly occurs when one spouse is presented with an agreement on the eve of the wedding and signs it under duress.

As a rule of thumb, prenuptial agreements should be signed at least 4 weeks in advance of the wedding. Both parties also have a duty to disclose all of their assets before entering into the agreement. It must be the case that each party knows what they are effectively losing or gaining claims over from the start.

What if I’m already married?

Couples that have already married may become aware of the benefits of having a prenuptial agreement and regret not having created one ahead of their wedding. In this case, they will be able to enter into a postnuptial agreement instead.

Postnuptial agreements operate in a similar way to prenuptial agreements; however, as their name suggests, they are entered into once the marriage has occurred. Like prenuptial agreements, they are not 100% legally binding; however, they are likely to be upheld by a court if they are entered into fairly.

Katie McCann is head of family law and in-house counsel at Kuits Solicitors in Manchester City Centre. She has a special interest in resolving high value relationship breakdown disputes.

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Your First Meeting with your Divorce Lawyer

Published on
Women and Divorce
Wendi Schuller
Author of
The Global Guide to Divorce

Getting records together for your new divorce solicitor or mediator is a first step in the divorce process.

Sometimes one’s financial state seems to be a jumble of loans and assets and the solicitor will have to get a general idea of the situation.

A financial advisor may be called in to sort out the records and give the solicitors an idea of the assets involved in the case.

Do your part by getting copies of bank statements, loan papers, taxes and whatever else you can lay your hands on to get the ball rolling with your divorce.

Your solicitor or mediator may give you a list of what is needed for your initial encounter. The following information will get you started on what data to bring with you.

The best advice is to bring everything to your first meeting with your divorce lawyer including:

  • Financial records include taxes paid, both personal and business.
  • All loans, including student ones are needed. Did either set of parents loan money for example, as a house down payment or for a credit card bill?
  • The amount of your rent or mortgage (plus balance owed on the mortgage).
  • Do either of you pay anything for children from previous relationships?
  • List all bank accounts/investments/pension plans with their account numbers and balances. Do either of you have any automatic deductions withdrawn from pay checks? Jot down any stocks, bonds, or mutual funds. Do either of your work places contribute to investments or retirement plans?
  • Could there be an off shore account or does some money appear to be missing?

divorce advice ukNext, think about some other assets that you have either jointly or individually. List assets with approximate net worth:

  • Vehicles with model and year
  • Value of property including marital home. Mention any bolt holes and holiday homes, including timeshares
  • Art and any big ticket items

Jewellery and gifts may be exempt from this list, but check with your solicitor.

The next part is for giving background information to the various divorce professionals and may be helpful in considering shared care, and in determining maintenance.  Our custody evaluator also wanted a copy of this report and I may have gotten physical custody partially as a result.  A Cafcass officer may ask for it too.

  • Write up the history of your marriage with the highlights. Was there any type of abuse? Do the spouses or children have any chronic illnesses, drug or alcohol usage, or a police record?
  • Did either spouse have affairs? Was there any neglect?
  • Is a child a special needs one, who requires much specialized care?
  • Is anyone in ongoing therapy?
  • What is both of your recent work histories? Did one spouse leave a lucrative career to stay home to raise the kids? That spouse may need training/education to get back in the workforce.

Think about what expenses you and the children have which may affect maintenance and child support payments. This list also indicates your standard of living or life style, so be sure to include travelling and personal upkeep costs.

  • List children’s expenses such as tuition, tutoring, activities, sports, camps, class trips, clothing and general expenditures.
  • What do you spend on weekly groceries, eating out, entertainment and various activities?
  • List all memberships, club or organization fees, charity donations, subscriptions and any incidentals.
  • List payments for utilities, internet, phone, TV and routine bills.
  • Do you have any job expenses such as transportation, uniforms or anything else?

The point is to mention all expenses and to have your solicitor understand your complete financial picture.  The marital history can affect the distribution of assets or visitation schedule, particularly if abuse was present.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE ARTICLES BY WENDI SCHULLER

ABOUT WENDI

Wendi Schuller is a nurse, hypnotherapist and is certified in Neuro-linguistic Programing (NLP).

Her most recent book is The Global Guide to Divorce and she has over 200 published articles.

She is a guest on radio programs in the US and UK. Her website is globalguidetodivorce.com.

 

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Finding Hidden Assets in High Value Divorce Cases

Published on
Frank Morey is CEO of Virtus Risk Management
Frank Morey is CEO of Virtus Risk Management

Divorce can a difficult and distressing time and for everyone involved.

One of the main aims is ensuring that each party receives a fair settlement, and that the same standard of living is maintained by all after separation.

In a high net worth divorce however, it is likely that there will be complex financial affairs, multiple businesses, investments, property, shares and other liquid and fixed assets.

It is a common scenario where one party has limited financial involvement in the marriage and has limited knowledge of what the marital assets are. This may provoke a spouse to misrepresent their financial situation in order to preserve their wealth, and may even be tempted to hide their assets.

A spouse hiding or understating assets can have significant effect on the other party as it could affect the distribution of wealth, alimony and child support awarded by the court.  However this does not mean it is uncommon.

In most high value divorces, there is an international element and the use of offshore structures to hide property, shareholdings, trusts and bank is a frequent occurrence in the court room.

Other assets may be in the form of cash, real estate, vehicles, stocks, bonds, valuable art, jewellery and antiques, all of which may be in several different countries, with different banks or companies.

finding hidden assets
Finding hidden assets is the work of an investigative firm.

Taking this into account, it’s important to call upon experienced advisors during this process in order to locate these assets and ensure a fairer hearing and judgement for the other party.

One of the most effective solutions would be to retain an experienced investigative firm as they have experience in thoroughly reviewing public records and can connect the dots between corporate affiliations and structures, analyse tax havens and conduct beneficial ownership checks.

Often during a high value divorce, an asset search will need to be worldwide as a simple search in the United Kingdom will yield limited results.

A good divorce asset investigation should begin as early as possible, ideally once divorce proceedings have begun and there has been an initial disclosure on the Form E petition.

Both the parties are required to submit a Form E that summarises their financial situation – a declaration of all assets and incomes, details of income from all sources and possible expenses post-divorce, capital needs in the future to support themselves and children (if applicable), etc.

Upon review of this document each party should have a clear idea of any disparities and if assets are attempted to be hidden. Once this has been established, an investigative plan can be drawn up.

Using the Form E as the benchmark, the investigative team will examine the document to evaluate possible lines of enquiry. The investigative firm will conduct its own independent research by gathering data and making a comparison to discover any non-disclosure issues.

The process should look to identify an investigative plan by identifying any jurisdictions in which the partner has conducted business and where they have spent significant time. This should give the investigative team a map on which to base investigations and start their searches.

From then on they will work closely with the spouse and their legal team to structure the way the assets are introduced into the case and negotiate non-disclosure issues.

It is important that if you have concerns about hidden assets that you seek professional advice. Consider making contact with an investigative firm that have experience in tracing and locating hidden assets.

Locating assets in a divorce case is a time consuming process, but it can produce excellent results particularly if there is an international element. In my experience of working in this field on high level asset investigations, there is almost always an asset hidden.

Frank Morey is CEO of Virtus Risk Management and an experienced security risk management advisor with expertise in helping HNW individuals understand their exposure to risk and offering guidance on managing these risks effectively.

For the past six years, he has focused on better serving the security needs of the high net worth community through innovative service design and has developed a diverse base of expertise within various security disciplines that he integrates to deliver a holistic approach to security and risk

Frank has previously held senior management positions at Banham Security, acting as lead security advisor for their HNW client base and has managed a variety of security projects from planning through to implementation.

Prior to his career in the security industry, Frank served as a Royal Marine with 45 Commando where he was deployed on operational tours of Afghanistan, Iraq and Northern Ireland. During this time he developed a comprehensive knowledge of global security operations in austere environments, high professional standards and a strong sense of integrity and confidentiality.

Follow Virtus Risk Management on Twitter

 

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