Emotions - Page 2

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It’s Over, Now What? 5 Core Pillars of Rebuilding After Divorce

Chris Sweetman
Chris Sweetman
Editor at The Divorce Magazine
Director at Fair Result

Sponsored post by Fair Result.

The ‘Day After’ Clarity

The day after your divorce is final can feel like a whirlwind. Relief, sadness, hope, and anxiety might all swirl together as you step into a future that’s suddenly wide open. If you’re feeling a mix of these emotions, know that you’re not alone. At Fair Result, we understand that the end of a marriage is more than a legal event – it’s a profound life transition. Rebuilding after divorce is not just about picking up the pieces, but about using them to create something new and uniquely yours. Let’s explore how you can do just that with the five pillars of personal renewal.

Pillar 1: Financial Sovereignty

One of the most daunting parts of starting over can be regaining control of your finances. Financial sovereignty isn’t just about making ends meet; it’s about building a foundation that empowers you to live confidently and independently. Here’s how you can take practical steps:

  • Assess Your Finances: Take stock of your income, expenses, debts, and assets. Understanding where you stand is the first step towards taking charge.
  • Set a Realistic Budget: Create a budget that reflects your new circumstances and goals. There’s power in knowing exactly where your money goes.
  • Seek Professional Guidance: If you’re unsure where to start, don’t hesitate to reach out for advice. At Fair Result, our team is here to provide clarity and support, helping you lay a solid financial groundwork for your new life.

Pillar 2: Emotional Reconstruction

Divorce is a loss, and it’s normal to experience a range of emotions – from grief to relief to uncertainty. Rebuilding emotionally is about giving yourself permission to heal and rediscover your sense of self. Here’s what can help:

  • Allow Time for Grief: Processing loss takes time. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or even confused. Let yourself move at your own pace.
  • Reconnect with Yourself: Revisit hobbies, interests, and passions you may have set aside. Rediscovering old joys can spark new meaning.
  • Reach Out for Support: Whether it’s friends, support groups, or a professional counsellor, don’t be afraid to seek help. Fair Result can connect you with trusted partners dedicated to emotional well-being.

Pillar 3: Physical & Environmental Reset

Your physical surroundings and routines play a huge role in your sense of stability. A fresh start can be as simple as rearranging your living space or as significant as establishing healthier habits. Consider these steps:

  • Reclaim Your Space: Make your home reflect your tastes and needs. Even small changes like new bedding or rearranged furniture can create a sense of ownership and comfort.
  • Prioritise Your Health: Gentle exercise, nutritious meals, and regular sleep can dramatically improve your mood and resilience.
  • Manage Stress: Explore stress management techniques such as deep breathing, journalling, or walks in nature to help restore balance.

Pillar 4: Social Realignment

Divorce often shifts social landscapes. Friendships may change, and you might feel uncertain about where you fit. This pillar is about building a supportive network that reflects your new chapter:

  • Evaluate Relationships: Take stock of your current connections. Who uplifts you? Focus on nurturing those bonds.
  • Build New Communities: Join clubs, classes, or volunteering groups. Meeting new people can open doors to unexpected friendships and opportunities.
  • Stay Open: Social realignment takes time. Be patient with yourself and others as you find your footing.

Pillar 5: Future-Self Visioning

A fresh start isn’t just about moving on from the past – it’s about creating a future you’re excited to embrace. Now is the time to imagine, plan, and pursue what truly matters to you:

  • Set Personal Goals: Whether it’s travelling, furthering your education, or trying something completely new, write down your aspirations and take small steps towards them.
  • Create a Bucket List: Make a list of experiences you want to have. Let yourself dream big – this is your chance to explore.
  • Reconnect with Your Values: Reflect on what’s most important to you now. Use these guiding principles to shape your path forward.

The New Chapter

Divorce is not an ending – it’s a new beginning. With the right support and a practical framework, you can rebuild a life that’s not only stable, but vibrant and fulfilling. At Fair Result, we’re here to walk beside you every step of the way, offering guidance, resources, and a compassionate ear. If you’re ready to take the next step or just want to talk through your options, reach out to our team today. Your new chapter starts now – let’s make it the best one yet.

Get in Touch

Call us at 07 500 933 818 or 0333 577 7009

Email peter@fair-result.co.uk or chris@fair-result.co.uk

Read more articles by Chris Sweetman.

About Chris Sweetman

Chris Sweetman is an independent family solicitor and director of Fair Result – An award-winning law office who pride themselves on using innovative ways to help clients through the stress and complications of a marriage breakdown.

Chris can be contacted on 07500933818 or via email chris@fair-result.co.uk.

The Emotional Reality of Self-Representation: Why Good Parents Freeze in Court

The Emotional Reality of Self-Representation: Why Good Parents Freeze in Court

Gergely Fried
Gergely Fried
McKenzie Friend and Founder of Everyman Justice

Sponsored post by Everyman Justice.

A parent sits at their kitchen table late at night, reading the same court letter for the fourth time. They understand the words individually, but not what is really being asked of them or what might happen if they get it wrong. The hearing is coming. The stakes feel enormous. And despite caring deeply about their child, they feel unable to move forward.

This quiet moment is familiar to many parents representing themselves in the UK family court. While attention often focuses on forms, hearings, and legal outcomes, the emotional reality of self-representation is discussed far less. Yet it is this emotional weight not a lack of commitment or intelligence that often explains why capable, loving parents appear to freeze during proceedings.

Understanding this experience requires looking beyond procedure and recognising the psychological pressure parents are under when navigating a high-stakes system alone.

The Pressure of Getting It “Right”

For parents without legal representation, every letter and every hearing can feel decisive. There is often a belief that one wrong word, missed deadline, or poorly phrased response could permanently damage their relationship with their child.

That pressure creates constant vigilance. Parents reread emails repeatedly, second-guess their wording, and worry about how they will be perceived by professionals they may never meet face-to-face. Over time, this can lead to paralysis rather than clarity.

Some parents delay responding because they fear making a mistake. Others send long, emotionally charged messages because they feel an urgent need to be understood. Both responses are human reactions to fear, not signs of indifference or poor parenting.

When Emotion Collides With Structure

The family court process is structured, procedural, and often impersonal. Emotional experiences, however, are not. Parents are expected to communicate calmly and concisely even when discussing fear, loss, or uncertainty about their child’s future.

This mismatch can be deeply unsettling. Parents may worry that expressing distress will make them appear unstable, while restraining emotion may feel like minimising what truly matters. The result is often an internal conflict between honesty and self-protection.

When parents feel they must choose between being understood and being composed, it is unsurprising that some become hesitant or withdrawn at key moments.

The Myth of “The Court Will Just See the Truth”

Many self-represented parents enter proceedings believing that if they are truthful and reasonable, the system will naturally recognise this. While honesty and cooperation matter, family court decisions are not based on moral certainty.

They are made on how information is presented, assessed, and weighed often through written evidence and professional reports. Parents unfamiliar with this process may assume that the strength of their feelings will translate directly into the strength of their case.

When this does not happen, parents can feel confused or disillusioned. That emotional response may then shape future communication, sometimes leading to withdrawal or heightened frustration.

Fear, Shame, and the Loss of Confidence

Self-representation can also trigger feelings of shame or inadequacy. Some parents worry that representing themselves reflects poorly on them, or that professionals will assume they are less capable because they do not have a solicitor.

These concerns are rarely voiced, but they influence behaviour. Parents may avoid asking questions, hesitate to seek clarification, or agree to things they do not fully understand. In trying to appear cooperative, they may unintentionally sideline their own perspective.

Confidence, once shaken, is difficult to regain in an environment that already feels intimidating.

Finding Small Anchors During Uncertainty

While there is no simple solution to this pressure, some parents seem better able to stay grounded than others. What often helps is not legal expertise, but small forms of emotional structure having one trusted person to talk things through with, writing thoughts down privately before responding, or giving themselves permission to pause rather than react immediately.

These are not strategies for “winning” a case. They are ways of reducing emotional overload so parents can engage more clearly with a process that already demands a great deal from them. Even keeping a simple decision log “Today I received X, I responded with Y” can provide reassurance later that progress is being made, especially during periods when everything feels stalled or uncertain.

The Impact on Parenting During Proceedings

The emotional strain of self-representation does not end at the courtroom door. Parents often carry that stress home, where it can affect sleep, patience, and emotional availability.

Children may notice changes even when parents try to protect them. Increased anxiety, irritability, or withdrawal can be signs of a parent under sustained pressure. This does not indicate failure it reflects the weight of navigating uncertainty alone.

When parents feel overwhelmed, maintaining emotional stability becomes harder, not because they care less, but because they are carrying too much.

Why Emotional Understanding Matters

Recognising the emotional reality of self-representation does not mean lowering expectations or avoiding accountability. It means acknowledging that clarity and confidence are shaped as much by emotional safety as by procedural knowledge.

When parents feel steadier, they communicate more clearly, make fewer reactive decisions, and are better able to focus on their child’s needs rather than their own fear. Even small reductions in anxiety can have a meaningful impact on how parents experience the process and how effectively they participate in it.

What This Means for Parents

Freezing under pressure is not a personal failing. It is often a sign that something deeply important is at stake and that the person involved does not feel safe enough to make a mistake.

Self-represented parents are rarely trying to challenge the system. Most are trying to protect their children while navigating unfamiliar terrain with limited support.

Understanding this emotional reality does not change the law, but it can change how parents experience it. And when parents feel more supported and less afraid of getting things wrong, children are more likely to experience stability during a time of uncertainty.

This article is intended for general information and emotional support only and does not constitute legal advice.

Read more from Gergely Fried

About Gergely Fried

Gergely Fried is a McKenzie Friend, author, and the founder of Everyman Justice. With a background in education and business, and personal experience of child arrangements proceedings, he supports parents navigating the UK family court system with calm, practical guidance and emotional insight. His work focuses on clarity, emotional understanding, and reducing unnecessary conflict, always with the child’s wellbeing at the centre.

His book, Conflict by Design, guides parents step by step through child arrangements proceedings using a realistic case narrative, explaining what to expect in clear, accessible language rather than legal or academic jargon.

Everyman Justice: https://everymanjustice.co.uk/
Support & Help: https://everymanjustice.co.uk/support-and-help/

Dealing With New Year’s During and Post-Divorce
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Dealing With New Year’s During and Post-Divorce

Wendi Schuller
Wendi Schuller
Dating Coach
Author of ‘The Global Guide to Divorce’

One may get through the Christmas season with all the parties and business gatherings. Going solo is fine. Holiday decorations and rituals can temporarily distract us from divorce proceedings. Families surround us and can be supportive during this difficult time. The world is lit up by a magnitude of lights and the festive mood is contagious. You might congratulate yourself for making it through the holiday season with your sanity intact.

What may hit you hard is New Year’s Eve and Day. The glittering lights start coming down, making the world a darker place. Things are quieter.  New Year’s Eve like Valentine’s Day, is geared toward couples. They kiss at midnight and usher in the coming year. Restaurants often have packages aimed at twosomes.

Think about how you are feeling

Do you want to be social and around others? Ask your friends what they are doing. They may not have thought of asking you to join them when you are newly single. One friend threw a big party and there were plenty of other singles as guests. If friends are busy on the Eve, then meeting on New Year’s Day may work.

Find out what your relatives are doing. They may be getting together for dinner and watching global festivities on the telly. You can offer to babysit nieces and nephews or friends’ children. Soon after my divorce I watched an acquaintance’s seven-year-old niece. We did crafts, improv acting and more. I got paid a lot that New Year’s Eve to have fun.

Or are you feeling melancholy and want to stay home? You can tell well-meaning friends that you already have plans. Then curl up with an exciting book.  You may be used to living with someone and now they are gone with divorce. Your flat feels empty. If you do not have children, consider adopting a pet. This is companionship when it seems like the rest of the world is out partying. If not ready to make a long-term commitment, consider fostering a cat or dog. Having my cats around me on the couch while watching New Year’s Eve gatherings on television ensures a more pleasurable night. Eating a delectable treat adds to the enjoyment.

What helps some divorced people is to go away over the holidays. I took my sons on a cruise. We celebrated New Year’s Eve sailing around Australia. A friend spent her New Years in India with others in her tour group.

Divorce brings the opportunity to start new traditions

My sons and I skip doing a big meal on New Year’s Day as we did in the past. Instead, we enjoy lunch at a café and then go to the cinema to catch a film. Other divorced friends spend New Year’s Day outside such as skiing. Think of fun activities which you enjoy.

Introspection 

This is the time to reflect on what you want to do in the new year. How are you coping? Do you need to change some strategies? How do you want to celebrate holidays?  Are you feeling lonely? I was feeling lonely around New Year’s Eve during my divorce. Then I thought about my last several ones while still married. Being in an unhappy marriage was worse than celebrating New Year’s Eve when single. A jolt of realization struck me. I do not have to feel lonely I can do what I want and be with upbeat people.

Others have reflected and feel that the holidays are only a few days to get through. They keep normal routines. Do what feels best to you without any guilt. Be by yourself. Be with others. Volunteer. Get in touch with your feelings and go from there.

Read more articles by Wendi Schuller.


About Wendi Schuller

Wendi Schuller is a dating coach who helps people after divorce and break-ups to start dating again.  https://globalguidetodivorce.com  She is a hypnotherapist, NLP practitioner and a nurse. She wrote The Global Guide To Divorce.

She writes a children’s book series with the latest, Jack Jack The Cat Loose In London. Also The Adventures Of Margo, Girl Detective.

Menodivorce or Menopause? Feeling out of control at Christmas
Image by Shutterstock
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Menodivorce or Menopause? Feeling out of control at Christmas

Sarah Barr-Young
Sarah Barr-Young Head of Financial Remedies Department at Jones Myers, Harrogate

Sponsored post by Jones Myers.

A series of studies has highlighted a connection between menopause and divorce – with many women attributing the menopause as a key factor in their relationship breakdown.

The festive season can be a particularly stressful time for married and separated couples for several reasons. High on the are list are financial worries, concerns about seeing their children – and the pressure of expectations to make the holiday magical and memorable for loved ones.

While I am not a medical expert, I am aware that seasonal stress can exacerbate physical and mental symptoms of menopause and perimenopause, the transitional phase before menopause. They include tiredness, hot flushes and mood swings along with feelings of inadequacy and shortcomings.

As a family law specialist with extensive experience in working with women in their mid-lives, I know how hard many of them find openly discussing their emotions with their nearest and dearest, a contributory factor in findings linking menopause and divorce.

Another worrying factor from the research focuses on the vital role of solicitors. Many women who have divorced while undergoing the menopause say their family lawyers failed to include the menopause and its impact on their deteriorating relationships in divorce discussions.

While this may be attributable to a lack of awareness or understanding, it requires addressing as a priority to ensure our family law profession fulfils its responsibility to assess every aspect of our clients’ lives following a relationship breakdown and guide and support them in reaching the best possible solutions.

Jones Myers’ holistic approach explores all areas of our clients’ lives, signposting them to third parties, whether this be counsellors, therapists or IFAs, when appropriate. Our firm’s approved internal list of referrers ensures clients receive the highest quality advice for their unique circumstances.

Finances are another key area where we guide and assist clients undergoing separation or divorce.

Many perimenopausal and menopausal women deciding to make the break have chosen to sacrifice their careers or put them on hold to bring up their families. This may have prevented them from saving money or accruing a work pension, later prompting major fears of how they will manage post-divorce.

We recognise clients’ concerns over finances – and how many women during their marriages have not had to manage practicalities such as tax, standing orders or direct debits.

Helping clients to plan for their future both pre and post-divorce, our holistic approach sees  us work with tried and tested financial advisers who support our clients to stay on track as  they embark on the next phase of their lives.

I urge all women who are feeling the season’s pressures and thinking about divorce and separation, to seek help from professionals and family lawyers who understand the challenges they face – and who can guide them on the right path.

For queries on any aspect of family law, call Jones Myers at Leeds 0113 246 0055, Harrogate 01423 276104, or York 01904 202550. Visit www.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet @helpwithdivorce

Jones Myers blog is ranked 5th in the UK’s Best 25 family law blogs and websites to follow in 2025.

Read more articles by Jones Myers.

About Sarah Barr-Young

Sarah brings a wealth of expertise to her role as Head of Jones Myers’ award-winning Financial Remedies Department at the firm’s Harrogate town centre office.

Highly experienced in complex, high net worth financial disputes, Sarah’s reputation in business property portfolios, pensions on divorce and resolving disputes out of court through negotiation is widely recognised.

A named Legal 500 ‘Key’ Lawyer and Chambers ‘Notable Practitioner’, Sarah is respected and valued by clients as a strong ‘no nonsense’, knowledgeable, strategist who is also patient and empathetic.

A long-standing admirer of Jones Myers’ reputation for delivering excellence in client care and legal services of the highest calibre, Sarah relishes the opportunity to be instrumental to the practice’s continued growth.

Sarah is an accredited resolution specialist in Complex Financial Remedies and Private Children Law and is a Member of Resolution.

Why Confidence Often Drops After Divorce, Even When You Wanted It
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Why Confidence Often Drops After Divorce, Even When You Wanted It

Karen Omand BASoc BAThan CT
Karen Omand BASoc BAThan CT
Co-Founder
Divorceworkshop

I remember lying in bed a year and a half before my divorce, thinking, I can’t even get a part-time job at the local variety store. I was once well-educated, with a degree and a postgraduate diploma, yet I felt completely worthless. My confidence had been eroded for years, and I didn’t even realise it.

Many factors influence confidence after divorce, but what’s interesting is how rarely we talk about this side of it. The divorce world often highlights freedom, fresh starts, and empowerment. And while those things can be true, there’s another side that doesn’t get enough space: the quiet collapse of confidence that so many people experience, even when they were the ones who initiated the divorce.

Research confirms this is common. Studies show that self-esteem and self-efficacy often drop significantly after divorce, even among those who chose to leave. Part of this is grief, but another part comes down to familiarity: losing the rhythm, routines, and identity you’ve known for years. Even if those patterns weren’t healthy, they were familiar, and our brains cling to what feels safe.

You might have chosen this path, knowing it was necessary. But still, somewhere between signing papers, dividing assets, and sleeping alone for the first time in years, your sense of self begins to feel unsteady. You may question things you never used to. You second-guess decisions. You may even feel smaller, less sure, or invisible.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not broken, you’re human. Here’s why it happens.

 

The Loss of a Mirror

Even in difficult marriages, we become used to being seen through another person’s eyes. Over time, our identity and confidence become intertwined with that reflection: partner, spouse, teammate, or co-parent. Something is comforting about that, even if it can be severely dysfunctional.

When that reflection disappears, it can feel like standing in front of a mirror that suddenly went blank. You still exist, but you no longer see yourself the same way.

Divorce removes that constant feedback loop of affirmation and belonging. You’re no longer “we”,  you’re just you. And while that can ultimately be freeing, it’s disorienting at first. You can feel so lost in those moments.

This loss doesn’t just show up in big emotional waves; it sneaks into ordinary moments too. I remember the first time I went grocery shopping after the separation, it was so ingrained in my brain (attachment systems) that I automatically put things in the cart that he liked. I had to stop myself halfway through the store and say, “Karen, you do not have to do this anymore.”

Emotional Fatigue and Decision Overload

Another reason confidence dips is the sheer exhaustion that divorce brings. Every system,  emotional, cognitive, and physical, is taxed. The paperwork, co-parenting logistics, housing decisions, financial pressures, and constant emotional negotiations drain your energy quickly.

Confidence is a high-energy emotion. It needs clarity, stability, and rest to flourish. When your body is in survival mode, confidence naturally declines.

I remember sitting in my lawyer’s office, completely depleted. My nervous system was frayed, and yet I was expected to make major decisions, such as what to pursue legally, what to let go of, how to respond to my ex’s false accusations, and his refusal to pay child support. I wasn’t just tired; I was dysregulated, running on adrenaline and fear. It’s no wonder confidence felt out of reach; my system was simply overwhelmed.

Mini-Tip: After stressful meetings or negotiations, move your body. Go for a walk, stretch, or literally shake out your arms and legs. These simple movements help discharge stress hormones and signal to your nervous system that the threat has passed. Confidence can’t return when your body still believes it’s under attack; it comes back when you help your body feel safe again. You’re not less capable, you’re simply exhausted.

 

The Threat to Safety: Financial Competence and Security

For many, especially women who may have managed the home or taken a career step back, divorce delivers a shocking blow to financial confidence. The problem isn’t just about budgeting; it’s about the primal human need for safety, particularly when children are involved.

Suddenly, you are the sole person responsible for the financial security of your family, often on a diminished income. The fear of financial precarity, the inability to pay for housing, healthcare, or a child’s needs, can quickly mask itself as a deep, incapacitating feeling of incompetence.

You might have been a highly skilled professional, but facing mortgages, insurance policies, and tax documents you never handled before can make you feel utterly lost. This crisis of competence is really an attack on your perceived ability to protect yourself and your dependents, leading to significant drops in self-trust and confidence.

Mini-Tip: To counter this, focus on building micro-competencies. Schedule one hour this week to review your full post-divorce budget, or meet with a financial advisor. Each small act of engaging with your finances, however scary, is a powerful act of reclaiming control and building measurable confidence.

 

Wearing the Mask of Doubt

It’s easy to mistake grief for regret. Those quiet questions, “Did I do the right thing?” “Should I have tried longer?”  Their often surface is not because we want to return, but because part of us is struggling to integrate what’s been lost. I wrote about it in my recent blog on regret and grief. I talk about how what we label as “regret” is so often just grief wearing a different mask.

In thanatology, we understand that when a major attachment ends, we don’t just lose the person, we lose the structure of our lives that surrounds them: routines, identity, belonging, and the sense of continuity that tells us who we are. The grief that follows is not always for the relationship itself, but for the psychological home it once provided, even if that home was unstable.

I remember about five months after I left, my children and I were up north visiting my sisters and their families. A wedding song began to play, and out of nowhere, tears filled my eyes. I stepped out onto the deck, unable to explain why I was crying. I had left an abusive marriage, and I didn’t want that life anymore. But in that moment, what I felt wasn’t longing for him; it was grief for the part of me that had believed in that story, the one who had hoped the marriage might one day be safe, loving, and whole.

That’s the quiet complexity of post-divorce grief: it isn’t just the loss of a partner, but the death of a version of self who lived inside that relationship. Confidence doesn’t disappear; it becomes entangled with mourning. To rebuild it, we have to honour what’s died, not to stay in the past, but to integrate what those losses meant.

 

The Quiet Shame of “Failure”

Culturally, marriage is still seen as a sign of stability and success. Even when we know our divorce was necessary, there’s often a quiet, internalised voice whispering, I failed.

When I ran a divorce support group, this came up often. Almost everyone in the room felt like a failure. It’s hard to imagine why, especially when most of us have tried everything to make it work. And for those who left abusive relationships, the truth is, it was never going to work in the way we hoped.

That sense of shame erodes confidence because it attacks our worth at the core. But ending a marriage that no longer served you isn’t failure — it’s an act of profound courage. You didn’t fail at marriage; you succeeded at choosing yourself.

I often remind my clients,  and myself, that it took tremendous strength to leave something that was breaking us down. That truth doesn’t get written or spoken about nearly enough.

Mini-Tip: When that “failure” voice shows up, pause and write down three things you did today that reflect your courage or growth. Shifting your focus from what ended to what continues builds confidence from the inside out.

The Erosion of Self-Trust

Confidence and self-trust are inseparable. After a divorce, it’s common to question both.

I remember chatting with two colleagues, and we all admitted the same thing: we didn’t fully trust ourselves anymore. We worried that if we chose the wrong person once, maybe we’d keep making the same kind of mistake. That fear isn’t rare; it’s the nervous system’s way of trying to protect us from future pain.

After a divorce, many people replay the relationship in their minds, asking: Why didn’t I leave sooner? How did I miss the signs? Can I even trust myself to choose differently next time?

These questions don’t come from weakness; they come from a longing to feel safe again.

For years, I had been told, and eventually believed, that I wasn’t the smart one. He was always positioned as the intelligent, capable one. When I finally went back to university, something he didn’t support, I began to reclaim a part of myself I had lost. I realised that I wasn’t stupid or incapable; I had just been made to doubt my own judgment for too long.

Rebuilding self-trust means learning to listen to your intuition without judgment. Each time you make a decision based on your own truth, no matter how small, that trust begins to return.

Comparison and Disconnection

Once the immediate chaos settles, another challenge appears: the pull of comparison and isolation. You start noticing how different your life looks. Social media is filled with family photos and anniversaries, and suddenly your confidence wavers.

You also lose the stability of a couple identity, which often means being dropped from mutual friend groups or feeling awkward at couple-centric social events. This loss of your established social status and subsequent isolation can severely undermine your sense of social competence and belonging.

You might feel behind or different, as if your life broke while everyone else’s stayed intact. But comparison steals the truth: you are rebuilding, not regressing.

Mini-Tip: Limit social media for a week and notice how your sense of self shifts. Measure your life by your feelings, not someone else’s highlight reel.

 

Relearning How to See Yourself

Divorce doesn’t just end a relationship; it ends a familiar version of yourself. It can leave you standing in unfamiliar territory, unsure of how to move forward.

Relearning who you are takes time. For me, it felt like peeling back layers of an onion. I had to start with the micro steps, small, almost invisible choices,  before I could even think about the bigger ones. Each tiny act of courage built a little more confidence.

It’s still a journey. I’m still unlearning the way I saw myself for decades, but awareness and understanding have become steady companions along the way.

Confidence after divorce doesn’t come from returning to who you were before. It comes from discovering who you are now, beneath the roles, expectations, and history.

This is the real work of self-love: not vanity, but truth-telling. It’s the quiet, patient act of seeing yourself with kindness again.

Losing confidence after a divorce doesn’t mean you made the wrong decision. It means you’re human, navigating the in-between, the space between who you were and who you are becoming.

If you’re in that space right now, remember:

Your confidence isn’t gone. It’s just resting beneath the grief, waiting for the moment you start trusting yourself again.

Mini-Tip: Reflection Invitation: Today, notice one small choice you made just for yourself. Celebrate it. That is your confidence returning.

Read more articles by Karen Omand BASoc BAThan CT.

About Karen Omand BASoc BAThan CT

Karen Omand holds a rare university degree in Thanatology and a B.A. in Sociology. She is the co-author of the “Just Separated Divorce Workbook,” coming out this October, and co-founder of The Divorce Workshop. As a private counsellor and coach, Karen specialises in high-conflict cases, post-divorce abuse, grief, and divorce. Having navigated her own high-conflict divorce, she is also the mother of two lovely daughters.

Managing Parenting Stress During Separation
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Managing Parenting Stress During Separation

Parenting stress can be bad enough when you’re in a relationship with your child’s other parent. Going through a separation can make it even more crushing.

Zarira Love
Zarira Love
Writer / Researcher
Custody X Change

Luckily, parenting stress is manageable if you put in the work. The following can help you lower your stress levels…

Positive affirmations

Stress can leave you feeling inadequate. Positive affirmations provide reassurance so you worry less.

Remind yourself of the good that you do for your child:

  • “I provide my child with what they need.”
  • “I listen when my child has a problem.”
  • “I’m a great parent.”
  • “I love my child unconditionally.”
  • “I stay strong for my child no matter what.”

Remind yourself that you can move forward after separation.

  • “I can get through this.”
  • “I’m desirable and worthy of love.”
  • “I have a lot to offer.”
  • “My marriage doesn’t define who I am.”
  • “This is the start of a new – and better – chapter.”

You can find many affirmations to use online or write your own to directly address your stressors. It’s all about setting intentions and turning negative self-talk into positive self-talk.

You could make crafts that incorporate your affirmations and put them around your home. This is a fun way to de-stress and make a habit of starting your day by reciting your affirmations.

Don’t compare yourself to others

Comparing yourself to others is a surefire way to make you feel lousy.

You might wonder why you couldn’t make your relationship work while others can, or why other parents never seem frazzled or overwhelmed like you do.

Understand that people often project an image that is not reality, especially on social media. Stop consuming content that makes you feel worse. Instead, look for more realistic depictions. You might turn to those in your real life who are willing to have honest conversations about their experiences with parenting and separation.

Letting go of chasing the “perfect” separation or being the “perfect” parent will lift a good deal of weight off your shoulders.

Keep yourself in check

If your child sees you engaging in harmful behaviours to relieve stress, they may have trouble managing their own negative emotions. Drinking to excess, yelling, and throwing things are bad behaviours you don’t want your child to mimic.

Stress can shorten your fuse. It’s important to hold back when you find yourself on the verge of breaking down in front of your child. If your child is frustrating you to the point that you might lash out, walk away for a moment. Take a deep breath and collect yourself.

Acknowledge how you’re feeling without letting your negative emotions take over. Eventually, you’ll realise that you are in control, which will make dealing with day-to-day mishaps and your child’s misbehaviour less stressful.

Don’t take on all parenting alone

Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for one parent to shoulder all parenting responsibility after separation. But both parents still have an obligation to care for and provide for their child.

Try to sit down together and create a temporary parenting agreement. This ensures both parents know what is expected of them. If it works well, you can make it a permanent agreement.

If you have trouble getting on the same page, you might need to go to court. The family court process in England and Wales is slightly different than the process in Scotland and in Northern Ireland. But the result is the same: a court order that clearly defines each parent’s responsibilities.

Give yourself a break

Take time to relax and reset.

Try to do something for yourself every day. It can be as simple as reading a book or watching a few episodes of your favourite show. Take a warm bath to unwind after the kids are in bed. Exercise to release tension.

You might feel guilty if you aren’t always with your child. However, getting breaks from them lets you reconnect with who you are outside of parenting. The other parent can look after them when they’re available, or you can ask a friend or relative if a sitter is too expensive.

When you are with your kids, do something fun. Baking, playing sports, making crafts, going to the cinema, and other activities are fun ways to help everyone relax.

 

Get help

It’s comforting to know there are resources available. Get support when you’re feeling overwhelmed.

  • Relatives and friends: Lean on your village for support. They can provide childcare, lend an ear when you need to vent, and more.
  • Support groups: Look for support groups for separated parents, which can provide encouragement, advice and support.
  • Therapists: A good therapist can help you talk through your problems so they aren’t weighing on your mind and help you develop coping strategies.
  • Your general practitioner (GP): Your GP makes sure you’re looking after your health and can write referrals to mental health and other services if need be.
  • Co-parenting apps: Apps like Custody X Change help you stay organised as you build your child arrangements case, keep track of your child’s activities, and more.

 

Managing parenting and separation is hard, but working to reduce your stress levels makes dealing with it much more bearable.

 

Read more articles by Custody X Change.

About Zarira Love

Zarira Love has been researching and writing articles about child custody and parenting for nearly six years. She currently resides in New York City.

Zarira is a Writer / Researcher for Custody X Change.

About Custody X Change: This powerful tool helps divorced and single parents create parenting plans, track their custody schedules, manage expenses and more. Since 2005, we’ve helped over 60,000 parents ensure the best possible future for their children.

Finding Calm Amid Separation: A Guide to Self-Care
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Finding Calm Amid Separation: A Guide to Self-Care

 

Jo Harrison
Jo Harrison Divorce Consultant and Relationship Therapist Family Law in Partnership

American naturalist and writer Hal Borland said, “No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn,” a phrase that is often used
to give hope to people going through something difficult. I know from my experience of working with people who are going through a separation, that it can feel like it really is going on forever, and it can be hard to hold onto the hope of something changing – particularly when people are going through litigation or there is high conflict.

How can you support yourself through this difficult period?

This is often a process that can take a long time and have complex developments both in the practical and physical aspects of your life as well as emotionally and psychologically. These are some of the key aspects I encourage people to think about to support their own care as they go through the process of separating…

1. Prioritise What Matters Most

This is a time of life when you may need to prioritise what is important to you in order to preserve emotional energy and resources. This might mean saying no to things, or being careful about the things you do in order to choose things that feel nurturing or positive to your wellbeing, or to not choose things that you know are going to make you feel drained or worse.

 

2. Set Boundaries Around Communication

Depending on the quality of relationship with your ex, it may be that when you communicate with each other it makes you feel bad or upset or it drains you. It may be that you need to communicate about certain things for example arrangements about the children. It is also possible to set boundaries for yourself around if you feel there are ways you can support yourself. For example, not reading or exchanging emails late at night when this might affect your sleep, or trying to multi task childcare and difficult conversations. Some people even set up separate email accounts so that they can be intentional about the time they read messages from their ex. If it’s possible, try to agree with each other a time that you will check in with each other to catch up regularly rather than drip feed information. (This can work really well for parents to have a time each week where they know they are going to be able to talk about things that need talking about).


3. Pick Your Battles

This may be a more challenging one, but take a moment to reflect whether there is a part of you that gets drawn into difficult communications with your ex. Are you able to pick your battles, or step back from some issues that are not as important as others? This will save your energy and allow you a bit of distance rather than keep taking you back into unhealthy dynamics.


4. Allow Yourself Time to Reflect

It is ok to be sad and to cry. Self-care is not about having a smiley face on all the time. It’s about allowing yourself space to grieve what you have lost, and allowing yourself space to try to understand what has happened.


5. Build a Support System

All of this can be supported by making sure you have a good support system. That does not just mean friends and family. It might mean booking an appointment with the GP to talk about how you are not sleeping. It might mean considering therapy to have a space to be supported with all that you are feeling. It might mean making sure you get the support of all the positive aspects of nature by making sure you have a walk each day, or the good feelings you get from exercise. Take a step back and think about what aspects of life and which people help you to feel better and supported.


6. Recognise When You Need a Break

One of the lawyers at FLiP often reminds people that having a duvet day when you just do not feel like dealing with the legal stuff is totally understandable. All she asks is that it is communicated so that you can think together about how to do what is required. This kind of dynamic thinking about what needs doing on the legal side of things can often get lost or people can feel that they are not allowed to have these kinds of conversations with their lawyers. It is really important that there is an open channel of communication about how you are feeling about doing what you need to do.

7. Reconnect with Your Identity


It’s also important to remember aspects of your identity that are not connected to you getting divorced, since it can feel so overwhelming. Make sure you make time for yourself where you are not focussed on something divorce related. Some people find it a good time to take up a new activity or hobby where they can enjoy new aspects of themselves rather than feeling focussed on all that has happened with their relationship. This may be something to work towards in time as often people can feel too overwhelmed to take on something new. Look at my thoughts on reclaiming your identity after separation here.

8. Be Kind to Yourself During the Holidays


We know that with Christmas around the corner, there are added loads on people’s shoulders, perhaps for some combined with the pressure of feeling you need to make Christmas extra special for the children now that you are separated. Be kind to yourself and do the stuff that makes you feel good and that feels doable, rather than taking on too much and feeling burned out.

Most of all, be compassionate to yourself. We know that divorce is a stressful and emotional time. Listening to yourself and what you need is important and may keep you afloat during this time of navigation.

Read more articles from Jo Harrison

About Jo Harrison

Jo is a Divorce Consultant and Relationship Therapist with Family Law in Partnership. She is very experienced in working with individuals and couples who are separating.  A former family lawyer, Jo has a depth of experience and understands the legal process, which many if her clients find helpful.

If you would like to enquire about support individually in relation to preparing for a divorce or separation, please contact the FLiP relationship support team at E: therapists@flip.co.uk 

Emotional Readiness and Co-Parenting: Why You Shouldn’t Rush Up a Mountain
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Emotional Readiness and Co-Parenting: Why You Shouldn’t Rush Up a Mountain

Jimi Odell
Jimi Odell
Content manager
OnePlusOne

Between the day you decide to separate and the day you finally feel settled in your new co-parenting life, there is a mountain to climb. It can be daunting and you may not feel ready to take that first step but, when children are involved, you know you’re going to have to start climbing at some point.

Emotional readiness is a key factor in how well you’ll fare on your climb. During a separation, your emotional wellbeing can take a big hit, and it’s normal to experience a range of strong emotions. If you stumble into making co-parenting arrangements while these emotions are still running wild, it can be like trying to climb with no pack, no plan, and no shoes on your feet.

It’s a different mountain for everyone, so nobody can tell you exactly which path to follow, or how long it’s going to take. Some will find it’s a steady climb with their ex-partner alongside them, and others may find themselves exhausted at base camp wondering where their ex has got to. But, even though nobody has climbed your mountain before, lots of people have climbed mountains – you can learn from their experiences, and even borrow their tools.

Emotional readiness is your ability to make effective co-parenting arrangements and handle disagreements with your ex-partner (Barlow et al., 2014).

A separation is a life-changing event and it’s very common to be dealing with a jumble of emotions that may include any combination of shame, guilt, anxiety, bitterness, anger, frustration, and more. There’s often a sense of failure or loss as you reshape your vision of the future and your understanding of the relationship. There are often positive emotions in the mix too – you may have a strong sense of relief or even hope for the future, and these can also affect the way you approach decisions.

Whatever you’re going through, all of these emotions can affect your judgement and your ability to make long-term practical decisions. At a time when you’re trying to figure out where you and your ex will live, and making important decisions about how your children will split their time, emotional readiness plays a huge part.

Emotional Readiness and Co-Parenting

When you are emotionally ready, you will be more likely to find a way through to making amicable agreements with your ex-partner. If you’re not emotionally ready, you may need support with things like communication to help you get through the next phase. Trying to make big decisions when you are not emotionally ready can actually make things worse in the long term, so it’s important to give yourself space to adjust (Barlow et al 2014).

You may find that it gets easier in time, but if you’ve already locked in your co-parenting arrangements, it can be difficult to go back and change things. Consider where you’re at right now, and where your ex-partner might be at, and try to factor that into how you make those arrangements. 

If you’re still feeling a lot of strong emotions, it might be better to make short- or medium-term arrangements for now, with a plan to reconvene when you are both feeling more settled. Having a written parenting plan can help you manage this, especially if you build in an agreement to review your plans and adjust them based on how they’ve been working. You might want to choose a time frame for this – say, three or six months, depending on what feels right for your family.

Emotional adjustment happens at different speeds for different people. As you climb your own personal mountain, it’s likely you’ll find that you and your ex don’t reach the summit at the same time. You may take completely different routes to get there. 

A big part of this comes down to which of you initiated the separation. If it was your idea to separate, you’ll have had much longer than your ex to get used to the idea. You’ve probably been making plans in the back of your mind for a while. If, on the other hand, it was your ex-partner’s idea to separate, you might still be in shock at the sudden change, with no idea about what you’re going to do next. It’ll take some time to accept things before you can even begin to make plans.

Whichever side of the mountain you’re on, try to be considerate to the idea that you and your ex-partner are having different experiences. You may need to be patient while your ex catches up, or accept that your ex is further along in the journey than you.

Measuring Emotional Readiness

You might already have a sense of your own emotional readiness, just based on how you feel, but there is an accurate and scientific way of measuring it. In 2020, a team of researchers published their findings about a test called the Emotional Adaptation to Relationship Dissolution Assessment (or EARDA for short). The ten-question test takes a measure of how you’re feeling in ten key emotional areas (Millings et al. 2020):

  • Shame
  • Guilt
  • Relief
  • Anxiety
  • Loss
  • Anger
  • Resentment
  • Frustration
  • Failure
  • Hope

Even just taking this test can be a useful process to help you reflect on how you are doing now, and whether anything is starting to shift. You can find this tool on OnePlusOne’s free co-parenting app, Separating better along with lots of support on how to deal with difficult emotions, talking to children, housing, finance, and more. There’s also a free parenting plan and a video course to help you work on your communication skills so that you can start to improve your emotional readiness.

Think of it as a set of climbing tools that you can put in your pocket and look at any time you feel stuck on the side of the mountain. The app is available for free at least until the end of January 2026.

About Jimi Odell

Jimi Odell is a writer who has specialised in parenting and relationships for over 15 years. He has worked with the charity OnePlusOne since 2014, creating evidence-based support and interventions to help people get on better. He is one of the creators behind the Separating better co-parenting app, a one-stop shop for separating parents which includes Behaviour Modelling Training videos to help co-parents learn conflict resolution and positive communication skills.

I Dated Before I Was Ready After My Divorce — Here’s What I Learned
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I Dated Before I Was Ready After My Divorce — Here’s What I Learned

Carol Madden
Carol Madden
Separation and Divorce Coach
Carol Madden Coaching

The unexpected wisdom that came from loving (and losing) after divorce.

One of the first things many of us get curious about after a divorce is dating.

Whether we initiated the divorce or not, there’s usually a little voice inside that wonders what it would be like to venture out into that mysterious world again.

I’ve sat across from people who were married from anywhere between eight to forty-five years. Those who initiated and those who had the choice made for them.

And what I’ve learned is this: age and circumstance don’t matter when it comes to the quiet question, “Is it too late for me?” Again and again, the people I support have shown me that it’s not.

Short Term Or Lasting – They Still Matter

Even when we suspect it’s too soon, many of us leap into something new after divorce, hoping it will ease the ache or fill the enormous void that is left when our partner is gone.

I took those leaps myself. It didn’t unfold how I hoped it would, but it taught me a lot.

Coaching people who are exploring the dating world after divorce has reminded me of my own early rebounds. They helped me survive, but not without cost. A bit like emotional duct tape. A quick fix that bought me time, but also left marks that took longer to heal.

I had two significant rebounds.

One was about six months after my marriage ended.

The next one started two years later, once that first one finally came to an end (after a few breakups and reconciliations).

It was messy. It was painful. It was confusing. And yet, I gained a lot from those experiences.

Did I know who I was or what I truly wanted?

Not in the slightest.

Did it matter?

Not really. I wasn’t chasing a soulmate. I just needed to know if I could connect with someone as myself again, not the version of me that had gone numb in the marriage.

What My Rebound Relationships Taught Me

The first was a classic rebound. We both knew it. He was recently separated from his wife of ten years. I told him up front I wasn’t looking for anything serious.

I didn’t realise how much pain I was in at the time. It’s not until I look back and remember that ache, that confused panic, the terror that would show up and annihilate me.

That first rebound got me through some of the worst lonely weekends. Those ones where the kids were with their dad, and I was home alone, having an existential crisis on the regular.

I ended that relationship without much emotional upheaval. It served a purpose for both of us. I’m not really sure how he felt about it, to be honest. He tried to stay in contact, but eventually, I stopped replying to his messages. I guess that’s the complicated world of dating after divorce.

My second relationship began a couple of months after the first one ended.

This time, I thought I knew what I wanted. I was convinced I was ready for something real. Little did I know.

I moved too quickly because the physical attraction was so strong.

We were both freshly out of our marriages, both raising young kids, and trying to build a blended family before either of us had truly healed.

I put him on a pedestal and twisted myself into a pretzel trying to be the perfect partner. I was hellbent on getting it right this time around, and I ignored many, many red flags.

This relationship was not light-hearted, and it caused me a lot of heartache and chaos that I really didn’t need in my life at the time.

I could beat myself up for this. I spent quite a few years after a very painful breakup doing just that. But I slowly worked through it. I forgave myself for my naivety and made the decision to look for lessons instead of self-blame.

Although neither of those situations was ideal, there’s no doubt that I learned a lot from each connection and had a lot of great times as well.

Here are some of the most important lessons I took from those early rebounds:

  • Old fears around trust and infidelity don’t just disappear. They show up in new ways unless I name and work with them.
  • I need space inside a relationship. I can’t be in someone’s pocket. I need alone time to feel sane, creative, and spiritually grounded.
  • I’m not ready (and may never be ready) to step into a parenting role with someone else’s kids.
  • Some wounds, like fear of abandonment, don’t heal just because you’re in a relationship.
  • I still had a pattern of over-giving and under-asking. I needed to learn how to speak up when I wasn’t okay.
  • Physical intimacy matters to me. It’s not shallow, it’s a core part of how I feel connected and alive.
  • I want to feel like I matter. Not just fitted in around someone else’s life.
  • My sense of worth still wobbled. I was seeking validation instead of knowing I was already enough.
  • The deepest healing work can’t be outsourced. I had to face myself, on my own, to really heal.

Some of those lessons hurt like hell. But they taught me what no book ever could. I don’t do that stuff anymore; losing myself, ignoring red flags, twisting into knots to be liked.

These days, I’m good on my own. I like my space. I like knowing who I am. And I know that when I’m ready to date again, it’ll come from that place.

Not from fear or loneliness.

The Challenges We All Face

While the lessons above were very specific to my unique divorce journey, there are some themes we’ll all face when we choose to dip the proverbial toe into the dating pool again.

If you’re exploring dating yourself, some of these might sound familiar:

  • Companionship can’t fill the hole of grief, and that’s okay.
  • Rushing into something often comes from not knowing how to sit with the void
  • Even when a relationship doesn’t last, it still counts. It still teaches.
  • Chemistry doesn’t always mean compatibility.
  • Emotional intensity isn’t the same as emotional safety.
  • Craving closeness is natural, but you might not yet be ready for true emotional intimacy.
  • Performing to be “likable” instead of being honest wastes a heap of time.
  • Clear boundaries with yourself are just as important as boundaries with other people.

There’s no right or wrong way to do it

There’s a reason rebound relationships have their own name.It’s rare for someone to stay completely single for years after the end of a significant relationship.

Taking time alone might be the wisest path after divorce, but most of us don’t start there. So let’s give ourselves permission to explore if that’s what we feel like we need. No shame and no judgment.

Just humans, learning lessons as we go.Isn’t that what life’s about, really?

Whether you’re dipping a toe or in the middle of a new connection, take solace in the fact that nobody has a perfect roadmap.

But if you stay curious, honest, and connected to yourself, the lessons will come, and they’ll be exactly the ones you need.

Read more articles by Carol Madden.

About Carol Madden

I’m Carol Madden, a Post-Divorce Life Coach working with women around the world from my online practice.

I work with women who have been divorced for two years or more and thought they’d feel better by now. They’re functioning and getting on with life, but still struggling to let go, heal and move forward in their new post-divorce lives.

I’ve been through divorce myself, and that experience led me to this work. I know what it’s like to look fine on the outside while still carrying grief, guilt, confusion and all the unanswered questions underneath, even several years later.

I also know what it takes to come out the other side and build a life that feels good again.

I help women get to the heart of what’s holding them back, stop looking backwards and find the strength to move forward, even when it feels hard.

Discover me on social media:

Supporting Children Emotionally and Mentally During Family Transitions
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Supporting Children Emotionally and Mentally During Family Transitions

Noel McDermott
Noel McDermott
Founder
Mental Health Works Ltd

Mental health expert Noel McDermott examines what our children need through periods of transition; it’s first important to understand what we mean psychologically by a transition. A transition isn’t just a change of something, it is a change that requires an emotional adjustment. To some extent this type of change, a transition, is mediated by age and experience, but there are also some types of change that require an insight into transition, or adjustment needs, for all of us and especially kids. Transition needs affect humans in general and are linked to deep needs we have connected to survival mechanisms. These transition issues generally fall into 3 categories often called central life circumstances:

  1. Home – place of safety and survival
  2. Love relations – family, close friends, romantic partner
  3. Work – meaningful productive activity that is social and has survival outcomes (school, workplace, university)

Changes to these areas will likely produce transitional phenomena which are behavioural and emotional disturbances that might see A) a reversion to previous coping mechanisms (regression) or B) the development of new coping mechanisms (adaptations.) Typically coping mechanisms are designed to manage distress and some will be fine and some might be upsetting or even destructive. Types of coping mechanisms or soothing mechanisms in younger kids that we accept as normal might be:

  • Being clinging
  • Being grizzly emotionally
  • Thumb sucking, return to pacifier
  • Holding on to ‘blankie’

If age appropriate we don’t notice these and assume correctly they will grow out of it, but when they are a little older and we see these behaviours suddenly emerge again, which they can and do through transitions, we might get worried. But, regression is normal when the three central life circumstances are affected as are adaptions. The key question is are they doing something to help? Adaptations in particular may be unhelpful or what we call ‘maladaptive’. Examples might be aggression, self harming, substance misuse, excessive drinking. These might seem extreme but often they might emerge over time. More subtle forms of expressing distress in children in particular would be sleep disturbances, changes on mood, appetite, withdrawal etc.

The question is how do we reduce the risk of disturbance during transition and when it does emerge help our kids and ourselves manage it? These are some key ideas to utilise:

Normalisation – knowing and accepting that transitions can be upsetting allows us to normalise and explain to ourselves and our children what is happening. Often it’s the magnification or catastrophising of the behaviours that is the problem. When we can say, ‘oh this is normal’ during times of change we can manage things better

PPP – plan, prepare and practice. Plan: If you know the change is coming discuss it before it happens, if it’s a big change start the discussions early, some months before. Prepare: Get folk on board with organising the practicalities which facilitates normalisation, discussion and empowerment. Practice: If say moving home, go visit the new place or area. Stay there if possible for a night or two before moving etc. Build an emotional ‘on ramp’ that allows the reality of the change to be grown into, as opposed to an emotional cliff edge where you all fall off and smash into the rocks of the new reality below

Increase soothing and support for all before during and after the change. More movie nights on the sofa, more self care, more massages, more spa days, more friends and fun, more family meets and openness about feelings, tell the school, work and all support networks about the transition and ask for understanding

Refocus on the four corners of health and wellbeing:

  1. Nutrition (hydration) – eat well and regularly (in between the movie night binges of course!)
  2. Sleep and rest regularly
  3. Get moving and exercise
  4. Manage stress with relaxation, massage, meditation

Often adapting these approaches will not only take the sting out, but it will also mean you have no discernible negative transition issues. Or if you do have them, they are less intense and of shorter duration. If there is a history in your children or yourself of mental health issues, eating disorders, addiction etc then it is super important to focus on support and also developing individual plans for those involved around relapse prevention; for example should a mental health professional be brought in to help, should medication be used prophylactically to reduce the risk of relapse?

Read more articles by Noel McDermott.

About Noel McDermott

Mental health expert Noel McDermott is a psychotherapist and dramatherapist with over 30 years’ work within the health, social care, education, and criminal justice fields. His company Mental Health Works provides unique mental health services for the public and other organisations. Mental Health Works offers in situ health care and will source, identify and co-ordinate personalised teams to meet your needs – https://www.mentalhealthworks.net/

World Suicide Prevention Day: After a Break-Up, Recognising Risk and Responding Early
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World Suicide Prevention Day: After a Break-Up, Recognising Risk and Responding Early

Lee Hawker-Lecesne MBPsS
Lee Hawker-Lecesne MBPsS
Clinical Program Director
The Cabin Chiang Mai

Why Relationship Breakdown Magnifies Suicide Risk

A relationship ending is not a minor life event. It represents the loss of an attachment bond, and that loss can have profound consequences for psychological and physical wellbeing. Many people who function well in other areas of life describe feeling destabilised after separation or divorce. They often report fragmented sleep, inconsistent appetite, and difficulty concentrating. These reactions are not signs of weakness; they are normal physiological responses to the removal of an important source of stability. ¹ ²

Research supports this clinical reality. A large systematic review published in 2025 examined more than 100 million men across 30 countries and identified relationship breakdown as a consistent risk factor for suicidal thoughts, attempts, and deaths. The risk was especially pronounced in separated and divorced men. ³ ⁴ ⁵ ⁶ While this effect is most visible in men, women are by no means immune. The critical point is that the sudden loss of relational security creates vulnerability for anyone. Clinically, we observe a common pattern across genders: periods of agitation or heightened anxiety alternating with detachment or emotional numbness. ¹ ²

Neuroscience provides an explanation. Our nervous system relies on close relationships to regulate stress responses. When a relationship ends, the cues that maintained regulation, shared routines, presence, reassurance, are abruptly removed. ⁷ ⁸ This disorganisation can leave people feeling erratic, disoriented, and unable to manage tasks that previously felt simple. ⁹

How Suicidal Ideation Can Form After A Breakup

There are well-established psychological models that help us to understand the pathway from relational loss to suicidal risk.

The Interpersonal Theory of Suicide describes how risk increases when people experience both a loss of belonging and a sense of burdensomeness, particularly when combined with exposure to pain or a reduced fear of death. After a breakup, it is common for both belonging and self-worth to be undermined simultaneously. ¹⁰

The Integrated Motivational–Volitional (IMV) Model highlights how feelings of defeat and entrapment may give rise to suicidal thoughts, and how factors such as access to means or impulsivity determine whether those thoughts progress to action. ¹¹

Clinical practice also tells us that people struggle with the brain’s intolerance of uncertainty. After separation, individuals frequently describe compulsive cycles of rumination, the neurocognitive drive to resolve unfinished business which involves frequent replaying of conversations, messages, or imagined scenarios in an attempt to make sense of what happened. ¹² ¹³ This is not a character flaw; it reflects the mind’s effort to close unresolved loops.

In some cases, this process extends to an almost mythic weight placed on “final notes” or explanations. ¹⁴ Lee says “ultimately when rumination cannot close the loop, people may elevate the idea of a definitive explanation, farewell, or “final note” into something larger than life. It becomes mythic in the sense that it carries disproportionate symbolic importance, a perceived way to bring closure to unbearable uncertainty.”

We also know from the Polyvagal Theory that when attachment bonds rupture, the nervous system may lose access to its calm, socially engaged state. Instead, it can shift into patterns of fight, flight, or shutdown. ¹⁵ Recognising these biological processes helps us to treat them with compassion rather than judgement.

The Red Flags: What To Watch For After A Relationship Ends

Established public health guidance lists a number of clear warning signs for suicide, including talking about wanting to die, feeling trapped or being a burden, marked increases in substance use, agitation or rage, social withdrawal, disrupted sleep, dramatic mood swings, searching for methods, or making specific plans. ¹⁶ ¹⁷

Following a breakup, there are additional indicators to watch for:

  • Somatic dysregulation, such as restless sleep, exhaustion, and difficulty thinking clearly. ¹⁸
  • Avoidance of tasks that confirm the new reality, for example unopened letters or ignored legal documents, combined with intense responses to everyday reminders. ¹⁹ ²⁰
  • Fluctuations between anxiety and numbness, often appearing outwardly functional while internally overwhelmed. ²¹ ²²
  • Self-blame and shame loops, even when the relationship itself was harmful. ²³

Escalating risk can be seen in behaviours such as acquiring means, rehearsing farewells, giving away possessions, or displaying a sudden calm after a period of turmoil. ¹⁷ Restricting access to lethal means remains the single most effective intervention for preventing suicide. ²⁴ ²⁵ ²⁶

What The Person Is Most Often Worried About

The common concerns that drive suicidal thinking after relationship breakdown include:

  1. Loss of belonging and identity, a destabilising sense of “Who am I now?” ²⁷

  2. Entrapment and defeat, feeling caught in conflict, legal battles, or social disapproval, with no clear escape. ¹¹

  3. Perceived burdensomeness, believing that one’s continued existence causes harm to others. ¹⁰

  4. Compulsive rumination, replaying events in a search for closure. ¹²

  5. Invisible grief, appearing outwardly resilient while feeling privately overwhelmed. ²⁸

A Practical Response Plan

  1. Ask directly. It is safe and appropriate to use clear language: “Are you thinking about suicide?” If the answer is yes, remain with the person, limit access to means, and escalate to professional or emergency support. ²⁴ ²⁵

  2. Remove access to means. Secure medications, sharp objects, or other potential methods, and avoid high-risk locations. ²⁶

  3. Support regulation before reflection. When the nervous system is in distress, insight is limited. Encourage grounding through breathing, movement, or quiet companionship. ⁹ ¹⁵

  4. Introduce routine and ritual. Even small rituals, such as daily check-ins or shared meals, provide stability and meaning that support recovery. ²⁹

  5. Create a written safety plan. This should include supportive people to contact, safe places to go, regulating activities, steps to reduce access to means, and scheduled professional appointments.

  6. Listen for language of hopelessness or burdensomeness. Phrases such as “There is no way out” or “I am a problem for everyone” require immediate attention. ¹⁰ ¹¹

For Friends And Family

Supporting someone after a breakup requires patience, steadiness, and clarity. A practical approach might include:

  • Observing and naming changes without judgement.
  • Asking directly about suicidal thoughts.
  • Offering calm companionship, such as sitting or walking together. ¹⁵Taking steps to reduce access to means. ²⁶
  • Involving an additional trusted person.
  • Establishing small rituals of contact, such as daily check-ins. ²⁹
  • Following up consistently.

Understanding and Supporting Recovery

When someone is struggling after a breakup, it helps to remember that their reactions are biological survival responses rather than signs of weakness. ³⁰ “Feelings of panic, exhaustion, or hopelessness are the body’s way of responding to a profound loss” says Lee. “It’s important to understand that suicidal thoughts can often follow a pathway: first, the sense of overwhelming defeat or entrapment, and then the possibility of acting on those feelings if access to means is easy or rehearsed.” ¹¹ Recognising this pathway allows us to step in early.

Supporting someone also means helping them manage rumination, those cycles of replaying events and searching for explanations, by encouraging grounding techniques or limiting the time spent in these thoughts. ¹² Families and friends can also play a critical role in safety by reducing access to potential means of harm and creating safer environments. ²⁵ ²⁶

Finally, when a suicide does occur in a community, the way we respond matters. Structured support, open conversation, and ongoing contact reduce the risk of further harm for those left behind. ³¹

Changing The Narrative

The theme of World Suicide Prevention Day is “Changing the Narrative.” In this context, changing the narrative means moving away from minimising the impact of relationship loss and recognising it as a significant clinical risk factor.

The facts are clear:

  • Relationship breakdown places anyone at risk, with particularly high vulnerability for men. ³ ⁵
  • Warning signs are usually visible if we take the time to look and ask. ¹⁶
  • The progression from suicidal thought to action is preventable, especially when means safety and social support are in place. ²⁴ ²⁵

Our individual responsibility is to combine practical measures with compassion. Survivors of relationship breakdown are not “broken;” they are people carrying more than their nervous system can manage in that moment. With appropriate support, co-regulation, and steady engagement, recovery is possible. ³² ³³

Lee comments: “On this World Suicide Prevention Day, I would encourage you to remain attentive to those around you. If you are struggling, reach out. If you see someone else struggling, lean in. I firmly believe that presence and action can change the course of a life”.

References

  1. Hawker, L. Separation: A Survival Guide. Unpublished manuscript, 2025.

  2. Hawker, L. Divorce: A Survival Guide. Unpublished manuscript, 2025.

  3. Corsi, M. et al. “Relationship breakdown and suicide risk in men: A systematic review.” BMC Psychiatry. 2025.

  4. Scourfield, J. et al. “Separation and divorce as suicide risk factors.” Journal of Affective Disorders. 2024.

  5. Schaan, V.K. et al. “Divorce, separation and suicide mortality: A population-level study.” Lancet Psychiatry. 2023.

  6. Kposowa, A. “Divorce and suicide risk: A global perspective.” Social Science & Medicine. 2022.

  7. Hawker, L. Separation: A Survival Guide. Chapter 2, Nervous System Dysregulation. Unpublished manuscript, 2025.

  8. Hawker, L. Divorce: A Survival Guide. Chapter 3, Somatic Collapse. Unpublished manuscript, 2025.

  9. Hawker, L. Separation: A Survival Guide. Chapter 13, Regulation Before Reflection. Unpublished manuscript, 2025.

  10. Joiner, T. Why People Die by Suicide. Harvard University Press, 2005.

  11. O’Connor, R.C. The Integrated Motivational–Volitional Model of Suicidal Behaviour. Routledge, 2011.

  12. Hawker, L. Aftermath: Surviving Suicide Grief Unpublished manuscript, 2025.

  13. Hawker, L. Separation: A Survival Guide. Chapter 5, Open Loops. Unpublished manuscript, 2025.

  14. Hawker, L. Aftermath: Surviving Suicide Grief. Chapter 6, Final Notes. Unpublished manuscript, 2025.

  15. Porges, S.W. The Polyvagal Theory. Norton, 2011.

  16. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Suicide Warning Signs and Symptoms. 2024.

  17. American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP). Risk Factors and Warning Signs. 2024.

  18. Hawker, L. Separation: A Survival Guide. Chapter 4, Somatic Dysregulation. Unpublished manuscript, 2025.

  19. Hawker, L. Divorce: A Survival Guide. Chapter 6, Daily Avoidance. Unpublished manuscript, 2025.

  20. Hawker, L. Separation: A Survival Guide. Chapter 7, Environmental Triggers. Unpublished manuscript, 2025.

  21. Hawker, L. Divorce: A Survival Guide. Chapter 8, Oscillation States. Unpublished manuscript, 2025.

  22. Hawker, L. Separation: A Survival Guide. Chapter 9, Numbness. Unpublished manuscript, 2025.

  23. Hawker, L. Aftermath: Surviving Suicide Grief. Chapter 3, Shame Loops. Unpublished manuscript, 2025.

  24. World Health Organization. Suicide Prevention: Restricting Access to Means. WHO, 2024.

  25. Pirkis, J. et al. “The effectiveness of structural interventions at suicide hotspots.” Crisis. 2019.

  26. Zalsman, G. et al. “Means restriction for suicide prevention.” Lancet Psychiatry. 2016.

  27. Hawker, L. Separation: A Survival Guide. Chapter 10, Identity Collapse. Unpublished manuscript, 2025.

  28. Hawker, L. Divorce: A Survival Guide. Chapter 12, Hidden Grief. Unpublished manuscript, 2025.

  29. Hawker, L. Separation: A Survival Guide. Chapter 14, Rituals of Recovery. Unpublished manuscript, 2025.

  30. Hawker, L. Divorce: A Survival Guide. Chapter 15, Normalising Biology. Unpublished manuscript, 2025.

  31. Hawker, L. Aftermath: Surviving Suicide Grief. Chapter 7, Postvention. Unpublished manuscript, 2025.

  32. Hawker, L. Aftermath: Surviving Suicide Grief. Foreword. Unpublished manuscript, 2025.

  33. Hawker, L. Divorce: A Survival Guide. Conclusion, Healing is Regulation. Unpublished manuscript, 2025.

Read more articles by Lee Hawker-Lecesne MBPsS.

About Lee Hawker-Lecesne MBPsS

Lee Hawker is the Clinical Director at The Cabin Chiang Mai.

He is a Registered Member of the British Psychological Society. He graduated from Anglia Ruskin University in the UK with a degree in Behavioural Science and a postgraduate clinical focus on addictions from the University of Bath. Lee is a focussed and ambitious individual who has in-depth training and experience in a broad range of clinical psychological interventions in the treatment of addiction, dual diagnosis, and complex trauma.

Having worked in the field of addiction for over twenty years, Lee has experience having assessed and treated many clients and families presenting with substance misuse and chemical dependency along with managing and treating trauma. Lee heads the clinical programme for The Cabin and shapes the treatment plan bespoke to individual client needs; so that focussed treatment is delivered to address specific individual needs – and thus providing for higher treatment quality that is measurable and progress that is observable to both client and clinician.

Lee’s passion is to provide the best possible clinical quality and experience to ensure that clients have an opportunity to achieve lifelong recovery and are able to be a beacon to others in their lives.

The Hidden Toll of Divorce on Men: Mental Health and Behavioural Outcomes
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The Hidden Toll of Divorce on Men: Mental Health and Behavioural Outcomes

Lee Hawker-Lecesne MBPsS
Lee Hawker-Lecesne MBPsS
Clinical Program Director
The Cabin Chiang Mai

“Divorce is often perceived as a legal or relational event, but its impact runs far deeper, especially for men. While societal narratives tend to focus on the emotional struggles’ women face, it is increasingly clear that men also endure significant psychological upheaval¹. As a clinician working across Thailand and Europe, I have witnessed firsthand how divorce can profoundly affect men’s mental health and behaviour, often in ways that are misunderstood or overlooked.

In this article, I aim to shed light on how men are affected by divorce, how it influences their mental wellbeing, and the behavioural patterns that may emerge as a result. Understanding these dynamics is vital for fostering support systems that can facilitate healing and resilience.

The Emotional Impact of Divorce on Men

Men often internalise their emotional pain in ways that can be invisible to others². Societally conditioned to embody strength, stoicism, and self-reliance, many men feel compelled to hide their vulnerabilities. From my clinical experience, I’ve observed that beneath this façade, men often experience intense feelings of grief, loss, and confusion.

A common theme I encounter is the disorientation that follows the dissolution of a marriage. Men frequently describe waking up feeling as if they are strangers in their own lives, disconnected from their usual routines, roles, and aspirations. This loss of identity, particularly when their self-worth is tied to their roles as providers or protectors, can be deeply destabilising³.

In my professional observations, the sense of a fractured future and shattered plans leaves many men feeling unmoored. They may experience a profound sense of loneliness and question their purpose, which can lead to a cascade of emotional and psychological challenges⁴.

Impact on Mental Health

The mental health consequences of divorce for men can be severe. Common symptoms include depression, anxiety, sleep disturbances, and somatic complaints such as headaches, fatigue, or muscle tension⁵. In many cases, men internalise feelings of shame or guilt, believing that they are at fault for the breakdown of the marriage. This self-blame can become a vicious cycle, fuelling rumination and emotional distress⁶.

Attachment theory offers a useful lens through which to understand these reactions⁷. The loss of a primary attachment figure, most often the spouse, can cause feelings of vulnerability and helplessness. Without proper outlets or support, these feelings can deepen, leading to long-term mental health conditions if left unaddressed.

Furthermore, many men experience a sense of identity disintegration, which can lead to feelings of emptiness and despair⁸. They may find it difficult to recognise themselves outside the context of their marriage, which exacerbates their mental health struggles. Physical symptoms such as insomnia, chronic tension, or fatigue often serve as somatic expressions of their internal turmoil⁹.

Behavioural Manifestations of Divorce-Related Distress

The psychological toll of divorce frequently manifests in observable behaviours. From my clinical work, I see patterns such as withdrawal from social networks, avoidance of emotional discussions, and maladaptive coping strategies¹⁰.

Substance abuse is a common response; many men turn to alcohol or drugs as a means of numbing emotional pain temporarily¹¹. I often see men who, in times of crisis, spiral into heavy drinking or drug use, believing these substances will help them escape their feelings. As I’ve stated in my practice, “Alcohol and drugs often become the quick fix for emotional numbness, but they only deepen the wound over time.” While this may provide short-term relief, it often worsens their mental health over time¹².

Similarly, some men engage in risky behaviours, such as reckless sex, gambling, or overspending, seeking stimulation or distraction from their inner pain. These behaviours can quickly escalate into addictive patterns, especially when used as coping mechanisms¹³. I’ve observed that “when men are overwhelmed, their responses can become compulsive, as they attempt to regain a sense of control or escape through addiction.”

I have also observed increased irritability, anger, or aggression in men navigating divorce¹⁴. These emotional responses can be directed inward, leading to self-criticism and depression, or outward, causing conflicts with family, friends, or colleagues. Such behaviours tend to isolate men further, reinforcing feelings of loneliness and hopelessness.

Neglect of self-care is another common pattern. Men may deprioritise their physical health, skipping medical appointments, neglecting exercise, or engaging in poor nutrition, which creates a vicious cycle of physical and mental decline¹⁵.

Societal Expectations and Their Role

Societal standards around masculinity significantly influence how men experience and cope with divorce. Traditional notions of masculinity emphasise emotional restraint, independence, and strength. While these traits may serve in certain contexts, they often hinder men from expressing vulnerability or seeking help during times of crisis¹⁶.

In my experience, many men feel that showing emotion is dangerous or a sign of weakness. This cultural stigma discourages open communication about their struggles, leading to emotional repression that can intensify mental health issues¹⁷. It’s not uncommon for men to hide their pain behind a façade of stoicism, which can delay or prevent them from accessing the support they need.

This cultural dynamic underscores the importance of providing safe, stigma-free environments where men can explore their feelings and seek professional help without shame. As a specialist in addiction and trauma, I have seen how unaddressed emotional pain often manifests through addictive behaviours. “Without proper support, these coping mechanisms, whether alcohol, drugs, gambling, or compulsive sex, can quickly become entrenched, turning into destructive patterns that are hard to break,” I often emphasise in my work¹⁸.

Long-term Effects and the Importance of Support

Unaddressed, the psychological and behavioural impacts of divorce can persist long-term, affecting overall wellbeing and future relationships¹⁹. Persistent feelings of loss, identity confusion, and emotional suppression may lead to chronic depression, anxiety disorders, and difficulties forming new connections²⁰.

From my perspective, recovery is rarely linear. It involves patience, self-compassion, and often, professional support. Men need safe spaces to process their grief, confront their feelings, and rebuild their sense of self. Support groups, therapy, and open conversations can play a vital role in this process²¹.

In my clinical practice, I often see how addiction can serve as both a symptom and a barrier to healing. “Addictive behaviours, whether substance use, compulsive gambling, or risky sexual activity, are often attempts to self-medicate unresolved trauma,” I explain. “Addressing these behaviours requires a nuanced understanding of underlying pain and trauma, not just surface-level treatment.” ²²

However, stigma remains a barrier, and many men are reluctant to seek help. Therefore, ongoing efforts to destigmatise mental health and addiction treatment for men, along with culturally sensitive approaches, are vital in ensuring they receive the care they need²³.

The journey through divorce can be profoundly isolating and painful for men. Their mental health often bears the brunt of this upheaval, manifesting in depression, anxiety, somatic symptoms, and maladaptive or addictive behaviours. Recognising these patterns and understanding the societal influences that shape men’s responses are crucial steps toward providing effective support.

As a clinician dedicated to behavioural health, I believe that fostering environments where men feel safe to express vulnerability and seek help is fundamental. With the right support, men can navigate the complex aftermath of divorce, heal emotionally, and rebuild a resilient sense of self.

Understanding and addressing the silent suffering of men during this turbulent time is not just a clinical necessity; it is a societal imperative. Through compassion, awareness, and targeted intervention, including addressing addictive patterns, I believe it’s possible to not only help men survive divorce but to emerge from it stronger and more self-aware”.

References

  1. Amato, P. R. (2000). The consequences of divorce for adults and children. Journal of Marriage and Family, 62(4), 1269–1287.

  2. Addis, M. E., & Mahalik, J. R. (2003). Men, masculinity, and the contexts of help seeking. American Psychologist, 58(1), 5–14.

  3. Levant, R. F. (1996). The new psychology of men. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 27(3), 259–265.

  4. Kilmartin, C. (2005). Depression in men: Communication, diagnosis and therapy. The Journal of Men’s Health & Gender, 2(1), 95–99.

  5. Wang, H. T., & Amato, P. R. (2000). Predictors of divorce adjustment: Stressors, resources, and definitions. Journal of Marriage and Family, 62(3), 655–668.

  6. Hetherington, E. M., & Kelly, J. (2002). For better or for worse: Divorce reconsidered.

  7. Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2007). Attachment in adulthood: Structure, dynamics, and change.

  8. Bruce, M. L., & Kim, K. (1992). Differences in the effects of divorce on major depression in men and women. American Journal of Psychiatry, 149(7), 914–917.

  9. Kendler, K. S., et al. (2003). Stressful life events and major depression: Risk period, long-term contextual threat, and diagnostic specificity. Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease, 191(3), 143–149.

  10. Umberson, D., et al. (1992). Divorce and health: Consequences and correlates. Sociological Forum, 7(3), 423–439.

  11. Dawson, D. A. (1994). Gender differences in the risk of alcohol abuse: The impact of family structure and social role. Journal of Studies on Alcohol, 55(1), 18–27.

  12. Kessler, R. C., et al. (1997). The co-morbidity of DSM-III-R major depressive disorder in the general population: Results from the US National Comorbidity Survey. British Journal of Psychiatry, 168(Suppl 30), 17–30.

  13. Potenza, M. N. (2006). Should addictive disorders include non-substance-related conditions? Addiction, 101, 142–151.

  14. Rosen, L. N., et al. (1996). Traumatic events and their relationship to posttraumatic stress disorder and depressive disorder in male and female soldiers. Depression, 4(5), 220–231.

  15. Courtenay, W. H. (2000). Constructions of masculinity and their influence on men’s well-being: A theory of gender and health. Social Science & Medicine, 50(10), 1385–1401.

  16. Mahalik, J. R., et al. (2003). Masculinity and perceived normative health behaviors as predictors of men’s health behaviors. Social Science & Medicine, 64(11), 2201–2209.

  17. O’Neil, J. M. (2008). Summarising 25 years of research on men’s gender role conflict using the Gender Role Conflict Scale. The Counseling Psychologist, 36(3), 358–445.

  18. Khantzian, E. J. (1997). The self-medication hypothesis of substance use disorders: A reconsideration and recent applications. Harvard Review of Psychiatry, 4(5), 231–244.

  19. Lorenz, F. O., et al. (2006). The short-term and decade-long effects of divorce on women’s midlife health. Journal of Health and Social Behavior, 47(2), 111–125.

  20. Simon, R. W. (2002). Revisiting the relationships among gender, marital status, and mental health. American Journal of Sociology, 107(4), 1065–1096.

  21. Jordan, J. V., et al. (2004). The complexity of connection: Writings from the Stone Center.

  22. Najavits, L. M. (2002). Seeking Safety: A Treatment Manual for PTSD and Substance Abuse.

  1. Vogel, D. L., et al. (2011). Stigma, help-seeking, and mental health: A review of the literature. Psychological Services, 8(2), 98–110.

Read more articles by Lee Hawker-Lecesne MBPsS.

About Lee Hawker-Lecesne MBPsS

Lee Hawker is the Clinical Director at The Cabin Chiang Mai.

He is a Registered Member of the British Psychological Society. He graduated from Anglia Ruskin University in the UK with a degree in Behavioural Science and a postgraduate clinical focus on addictions from the University of Bath. Lee is a focussed and ambitious individual who has in-depth training and experience in a broad range of clinical psychological interventions in the treatment of addiction, dual diagnosis, and complex trauma.

Having worked in the field of addiction for over twenty years, Lee has experience having assessed and treated many clients and families presenting with substance misuse and chemical dependency along with managing and treating trauma. Lee heads the clinical programme for The Cabin and shapes the treatment plan bespoke to individual client needs; so that focussed treatment is delivered to address specific individual needs – and thus providing for higher treatment quality that is measurable and progress that is observable to both client and clinician.

Lee’s passion is to provide the best possible clinical quality and experience to ensure that clients have an opportunity to achieve lifelong recovery and are able to be a beacon to others in their lives.