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Traumatic relationships are a cause for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

You may have had an amicable break up and sailed through your divorce just fine.  Not everyone gets through relationships unscathed.

One man had three traumatic relationships after a toxic marriage. His solution was not to date for a decade. After this long break and support from Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), he was ready to give dating another go. Now he is happily coupled with a lovely woman.

When dating again after your divorce, you may be surprised at the walking wounded out there.

What is PTSD

The National Health Service (NHS) defines PTSD as an “anxiety disorder caused by very stressful or distressing events.” People with PTSD have high levels of stress hormones. When danger is perceived, the body produces adrenaline to trigger the fight or flight reaction. “People with PTSD have been found to continue to produce high amounts of fight or flight hormones even when there is no danger.”

How PTSD Manifests

In relationships, the person may bolt when things are getting serious. They are okay at the beginning – The Getting To Know You stage. When simple requests/demands are voiced by their dating partner, it can be overwhelming. “Do I stay and face a risk of rejection (whatever the trigger is)?”

This person dances into a relationship, then dances right out again.  Or keeps the partner at an arm’s length.

The individual with relationship PTSD can be self-medicating with either drugs, alcohol, cigarettes or all three. This is to numb themselves and tamp down emotions. It feels more comfortable to put up an emotional blockade around themselves. If they are like a zombie, then there is no opening for trauma to sneak in.

This is a faulty protection mechanism which is harmful to relationships.

Insomnia is another problem for those with PTSD. They may have difficulty falling asleep or wake up with nightmares.  Flashbacks can occur.  Something in a new relationship reminds previous trauma. They can panic and get bombarded with stress hormones

What to do when dating a person with PTSD after your divorce

• Go Slowly.
• Be Patient
• Learn when to pull back. They may crawl into their cave when the relationship is getting too intense.
• Give them space.  They may not initiate contact for a few weeks.

Allow time to build a firm foundation.  Then they can begin to trust you bit by bit. It is a delicate balancing act

Pushing to get closer scares them away. Too little leaves them guessing if you are about to do a runner, which may have led to PTSD from previous relationship. Consider sending a short, to the point text “How is your day going?” or when something notable occurs. “I didn’t get the job” or “My short story won a prize.”  Responding is easier than generating a text. 

Have a full life

When you are busy, your mind is focused on these activities and less likely to be dwelling on the frustration of this dating relationship. You are more interesting and enticing when you do get together.

They can laugh and wonder what antics/classes/events you are up to next. Your full life gives fuel for conversations.  Taking improv acting classes, having fun at karaoke and so forth, helps you seem different from previous dating partners where trauma occurred,

You may have to accept their pattern of being there and then backing away. No one can change another person. One can express needs with “I” statements. “I need you to text or call at least once a week.” “I want to get together at least every other week.”

Questions to ask yourself

• Are you getting frustrated with the dance backwards and forwards?
• Are you getting something out of the relationship?
• Are the good times outweighing the disappearing act?
• Are you feeling secure in the relationship?
• Are you both able to discuss personal history, problems, worries, etc?
• Are they focused on you when you are speaking?
• How strongly do you feel about them? In love? Or is it lust or merely a fascination?

Your dating partner is operating from fear. Fear is their reality. They are looking for indications that they may be mistreated again.  You may be able to slowly build trust and have a successful relationship. Communication is imperative.  Give it your all, and then if you need to bail, you know you did everything that you could.

There is hope that after a bumpy start, your relationship can be successful.

Click here for more articles by Wendi Schuller

About Wendi Schuller

Wendi Schuller is a dating coach. She draws upon her knowledge as a nurse, Neuro-Linguistic Programmer (NLP), and hypnotherapist, providing a blueprint to guide people through divorce and beyond.

She is also dating consultant for all phases post -divorce: How to meet individuals, Get dates and Maintain a relationship. Her dating podcasts are on datingcoach.coach

Author of The Global Guide To Divorce.

Fear can be paralysing. In divorce.

One can be hesitant to take a step in any direction. Afraid whatever move made will be wrong.  One is stuck in status quo and wants to stay in the same place.

Movement is perceived as leaving the safety zone. Staying rooted in one spot only delays the inevitable, the divorce will be finalised at some point.  Not wanting to think about divorce during this process does not stop it. It makes it worse by dragging it out longer.

Hanging on to something out of fear, backfires

I hung on to the marital house during divorce. It prolonged the proceedings. It delayed the sale, since it needed some refurbishing before going on the market. We signed the divorce papers before the house sold. Our assets could not be split until the sale since the final number could not be determined at that point.

Fear of not being able to get a loan for another one kept me clinging to the marital home.  The issue does not go away by ignoring or refusing to face it. Instead, it gets worse like cancer would if not dealt with at the onset.

Knowledge is the antidote to fear

Perhaps it is fear of the unknown – the outcome of your divorce – which is keeping you rooted in one spot. Not knowing what lies ahead.  Ask your lawyer what is realistic.

Many have imagined a worst-case scenario which had no connection to what could really happen.   You may be pleasantly surprised what is a realistic expectation for dividing assets.

If scared about what financial future will be post-divorce, consider paying for a consultation with a financial advisor. Things most likely will not be as bleak as they seem.  They will get an idea of your situation and can reassure that you will not be destitute. This is what helped me to relax during my divorce. Also, this person can make helpful suggestions how to invest and make a budget.

Fear can keep you clinging to people who drain you

Better to be alone than being in the company of these energy vampires who suck the life right out of you. I dropped a few doom and gloom acquaintances who tried to predict a catastrophe during proceedings.

Instead of being around those who escalate your fears, choose spending time with optimistic individuals who encourage you to see the positives.  This is the time to strengthen other relationships and make new friends who are supportive.

Dealing with Fear

Make a list of the top fears you are facing in divorce in one column. Next to them, write what can be taken to deal with them.  For example, for finances one could get a job or increase hours of a current one.

One divorcing friend asked to clean our houses for a little extra cash.  Sell personal property. I sold presents from my mother, who put in writing that these had been mine alone. This included Waterford light fixtures. (Be careful not to sell joint property during proceedings).

Writing fears down is a way to overcome them. Get them from swirling around in your brain to being out in the open.

A parent shines a light in the darkness when a child fears a monster is hiding under the bed. They see nothing is there. Or perhaps it is something that can easily be dealt with like a kitten playing with a toy under the bed.

Express fears to friends

Brainstorm together. Friends will give opinions how to get past your stumbling block, the fear holding you back. They may have faced it too in their divorce and have practical advice.

Support is crucial in this turbulent time. Talking out your concerns and fear shares the load. You have a team on your side who will cheer you on.  After my friends had a good laugh over my financial fear, they quickly let me know it was out of line with reality.  I was relieved.

Whatever your fear is, talking to a knowledgeable expert in that field will give you accurate facts. You will be in control, instead of the fear controlling you.

Click here for more articles by Wendi Schuller

About Wendi Schuller

Wendi Schuller has travelled to around seventy countries. She is a moving on coach who especially helps people getting back into dating after a break up or divorce

She is a hypnotherapist, nurse and Neuro -Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner. She is a speaker whose goal is to inspire people to move on in their lives. She helps people transform their dating goals into reality.  She wrote The Global Guide To Divorce and the children’s book series Jack Jack The Cat.

You may have travelled as a couple while married and are hesitant to go across the country or continent on your own during or after divorce.

There are scary stories on the news and internet about tourists being robbed or killed. Perhaps you are bit by the travel bug and others are giving you dire predictions of doom if you go it alone.

There are ways to ensure you are safe and are returning with all of your possessions.  The big one is to stay alert to your surroundings. It is easy to consume extra alcohol when trying the local specialty concoctions. We let our guard down, lose a few inhibitions. We make new friends, and not everyone is what they seem to be.

Stay in a public place

Do not go off to a deserted beach for a midnight swim or to a stranger’s house. This is how rapes occur. Chrissie Hynde of The Pretenders band advises women not to put themselves in questionable surroundings. Of course, “No” means no, but avoid a dicey situation in the first place. Men can be robbed if they trust new mates just met in a foreign tavern.

Hotel Rooms

Avoid a late-night break in when you are snoozing. There are special locks to put on the door from the inside to prevent an intruder from entering. This keeps a person out even if they pick a lock. Other travellers attach a string of bells to the hotel room door. They give a jingle warning when the door opens.

Safety in numbers

Wait until a group of people leave your hotel and go out with them. This discourages a thief from following you. Before you go wandering around, inquire at the hotel front desk if there are any risky areas.  The staff have pointed out on a map where to walk and the areas to avoid, when I have asked.

A way to stay safe is to see if locals are guides for walks in your local. They do this at a nominal cost or just for the tip. You get around, learn a bit and can make it personalized. Information regarding walks is online and can be arranged ahead of time. Also, your hotel will know about this service.

Consider a tour group

You get to places easily with pre-arrangements. You have companions, particularly when exploring more remote ruins, etc.  Tours do give down time to do activities on your own or with another member in your group. I have hiked glaciers, tramped around in the bush looking for lions and walked through jungles which I would not have attempted on my own.

On one trip abroad, the political climate changed almost overnight. A regular stop on the African tour became dangerous and was instantly changed to another place. The tour guides are kept informed of the latest updates. In contrast when I was not on a tour, in Sri Lanka I did not know about a riot at the American embassy and was in a shop nearby. I had to escape by running through tear gas and hoping I would make it to safety.

Tour groups are not just about sightseeing. They can be very active – climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro to a relaxing retreat in India. They have special interest ones, photography, cooking, motorcycling and more.  There are tour companies for solo travellers. Some wave the single supplement or match you up with a roommate.

After my divorce, I asked friends if they would like to take a river cruise and showed them holidays from a particular company with good prices. Another divorcée took four European ones with me. Next summer, a friend whose husband does not like to travel, and I are going on one through the Netherlands. Ask around and you may be surprised who will jump at the chance to go on holiday with you.

Stay vigilant

It is easy to get distracted. When you have a bag on the floor, put the straps around your legs. Make sure handbag, rucksack, whatever, is attached to you in some way. A thief is quick to grab something from behind or underneath a chair.  I watch on airplanes when another passenger opens the overhead bin, where my stuff is stashed. I make sure they are removing something from their own bag and not mine.

A DJ on the local radio station said when he was in Rio De Janeiro, his buddy had an expensive camera equipment in his rucksack. After walking back to their hotel from Ipanema Beach, they had a shock. The bottom of the rucksack had been sliced open and the camera and his wallet were stolen. His friend did not feel anything. I personally want my possessions to be in front of me, so carry a tote bag. This goes back to be aware of your surroundings, especially of your possessions in a crowd.

The point is to have fun on holidays, but not be paranoid about looking for danger lurking around the corner. Listen to your gut instinct. If something or somebody does not seem right, then walk away. It is more important to leave a potentially dubious situation than to worry about hurting someone’s feelings.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE ARTICLES BY WENDI SCHULLER

About Wendi Schuller

Author Wendi Schuller has travelled to around seventy countries. She is a moving on coach who especially helps people getting back into dating after a break up or divorce –  https://globalguidetodivorce.com/coaching/

She is a hypnotherapist, nurse and Neuro -Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner. She is a speaker whose goal is to inspire people to move on in their lives. She helps people transform their dating goals into reality.  She is passionate about international travel and helping wildlife thrive in their environments.

She wrote The Global Guide To Divorce and the children’s book series Jack Jack The Cat.

You may be in the divorce process or moving on into the dating scene. There are guidelines for what is appropriate to text and what is not. What can seem fine to you can be a deal breaker for the recipient.

Do Not Text When Angry

In the heat of the moment, it is tempting to send a scathing text. It can come back to haunt you later. If it is threatening (whether or not you really meant It), that can be used against you in court. This can be during the divorce process or deemed as harassment in a dating situation.  Pause, take deep breaths, or wait hours before shooting off a text. Just do it when calm.

Texts Do Not Pick Up Vocal Tones

You may be teasing in a text and it comes off as a put down. It is difficult to recognize a joking manner with just words. A sarcastic text can be read as agreeing with the other person, when that is not the case. “Sure I will …..”  or “I bet you will” sounds positive. If the sender is sneering, that is not picked up. Say what you mean.

Ask For A First Date in Person Or In A Phone Call

Do not ask an individual out for the first time by text. It can be perceived as cowardly or being not that interested. One guy asked me out by text and admitted that he had to have several beers before sending it. We had seen each other plenty of times so he did have the opportunity to ask me out.

Texts are good for when there is a delay “I had a last-minute meeting at work and will be arriving a half hour later” for example. Texts are okay for arranging subsequent get-togethers.

Do Not Break Up By Text

This particularly is when one is ending a marriage and going to file for divorce.  Even if you only had a few dates, there is still a relationship. Do this ideally in person or at least over the phone. You can soften the blow with kind words. “You are such a great guy and we have had some fun. I don’t see this relationship as long-term and think it is best to break it off at this point.” Much better than a text saying “It’s over, Baby.”

The flip side is a break up text can be ambiguous and the other person has no clue the relationship is over. My friend and I read a text send to a young woman. I said it was a break up one. My friend felt  that the guy would be extra busy for a while. It was so unclear what the message was attempting to convey.

Do Not Be Too Flirty

What can be flirty to one can be way out of bounds sexually to the recipient.  When I got a text cancelling our breakfast, I understood. At 6:55 am when that text was followed by “What are you wearing now?” that violated my boundary by a man I not even had the first date with yet. He later claimed he was being flirty and was harmless.

One woman got a “Can’t wait to see you nude” text before their first date. This guy also was trying to flirt and failed. She texted back that they would not be going out since he seemed to just want a hook up.

Texts Are Not A Replacement For Face To Face Interactions

Texts are superficial and touch upon subjects like Headline News programs. They cover a lot of territory, but not in depth. Yes, one may discover that they also had a divorce from Hell. Or you both like to holiday in the Canaries This is getting to know someone on the surface, not delving deep into what makes them tick.

Texts May Seem Like A Shortcut To Emotional Intimacy

It takes time to get to know someone – whether a dating partner or a platonic friend. Intimacy builds up with in person encounters. Reading body language leads to non-verbal communication. It is a squeeze on the hand, a wink, a cheeky glint in their eye. These nuances enhance a relationship.

Texting Does Add Spice To Life

After a date, a text saying “I had fun” is wonderful. A text boosting someone’s confidence at work is appreciated “I know your presentation will be outstanding!” Sending a text with a funny photo or video says you care. I like getting lovely holiday photos from guys.

Maybe you are doing a fun activity and want to share it. I had not flown a kite in a decade or two and I sent that photo to a guy for a laugh. Texts are a quick way to stay in touch. They can bring out your more playful side.

Texts are practical

In divorce, one may prefer texting as the method of communication. One saying “Is it possible to pick the kids up at 6 instead of 7 tomorrow night?” is simple. Texts are also easier if an answer is “no” and speaking to them in person is difficult. Texts are a written record in case there are some disputes.

Use common sense when texting. Do not try to be so clever and witty which can be misunderstood. Be more to the point and say what you mean. Lastly, do not assume the texts you send are only between you and the other party. People show texts to others who could include your friends and co-workers.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE ARTICLES BY WENDI SCHULLER

Author of this article, Wendi Schuller, Is a dating and divorce consultant at globalgudietodivorcce.com and datingtips.coach   web site. She is a hypnotherapist, NLP and nurse. She wrote The Global Guide To Divorce and has a children’s book series Jack Jack The Cat.  Dating podcasts at datingcoach.coach

Podcast http://datingcoach.libsyn.com/texting-part-2

Divorce brings changes which could be finding a different job or needing to acquire a new set of friends.

Small talk is the vehicle to establishing connections with others in one’s post-divorce world.

It can be challenging to make small talk. Individuals have avoided parties and gatherings because the thought of engaging in this is scary.

Small talk is an important skill – whether on the social scene or in networking. It enables one to make crucial contacts in their field. Small talk is necessary to establish a relationship which can result in a sale or a regular client.

Small talk starts out on the surface. You are both fishing around initially to discover a common link – an interest or activity. It might be the stage of life you are currently in – getting a divorce, or being parents to a toddler, etc.

When the common link is found, then a portal opens to a deeper place of communication. You took the plunge and are now having a fulfilling conversation.

There are ways to make small talk less painful and more spontaneous. Attend an event. You have an instant topic of conversation – the concert, rugby match, school play or whatever it is.

A co-worker who loathes small talk joined several MeetUp.com groups. The initial conversations are focused on the specific purpose of the group (hiking, books, travel). She can handle talking about the subject and picking up tips from the other members.

At a party, a good ice breaker is to ask how a person knows the hosts. You may find out that you both have things in common. Other sure topics to get things started, is to inquire about pets/children/grandchildren/holidays.

I comment on a person’s unique jewellery or article of clothing. This often leads to “I bought it in India” and we go on from there. Even something as banal as the weather can start an involved conversation on sports. I talk about how weather impacts my running and they may talk about skiing.

An acquaintance feels small talk can be superficial. She does not like it when strangers at a gathering, ask her questions. She feels this is an invasion of her privacy. People may ask questions to loosen your tongue.

These individuals are merely trying learn a little bit about Rose. If she would volunteer information first, then it would not seem like an interrogation. Rose could turn the table around and ask them questions, thus not feeling on the spot.

People have different levels of what they consider is private. An introvert like Rose, finds it more challenging to open up about their life.

In this digital world, small talk seems to have disappeared. Texting gets right to the point, by-passing the nuances which are picked up when being face-to-face. When in person, if one skips small talk and communicates in the digital style, it would be perceived as too abrupt.

Small talk takes practice, like other things in life.

One does not pick up a violin and play it like a virtuoso on the first try. Nor be proficient at getting goals when learning football.

Start in little increments. Talk to a person standing in the queue at the grocers. Chat with a sales clerk. Work up to more challenging encounters, such as at a wedding reception or Bar Mitzva celebration.

I have made close, life-long friends by starting with small talk.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE ARTICLES BY WENDI SCHULLER

About Wendi Schuller

Wendi wrote The Global Guide To Divorce.

She is a hypnotherapist, NLP practitioner and nurse. She is a dating consultant and releases weekly podcasts.

She has a series of children’s books with the first being, Jack Jack The Jungle Cat.  

globalguidetodivorce.com  

datingcoach.coach

Main Photo by Photo by HIVAN ARVIZU @soyhivan on Unsplash

Going on dates can be intimidating for the introvert. It is easier to stay at home and watch romantic films than go meet potential dating partners.

Fear can stop people. Fear of getting tongue tied or sounding stupid can keep individuals from venturing out of their flat.

There are ways to have dates and be in one’s comfort zone.

Think about going out in a group.

You can laugh and have fun without the pressure of carrying on a conversation solo.  Members of the group all contribute comments. There is less of a feeling of being judged, when in a group setting, as opposed to only being the two of you. If you hit it off with someone, a private conversation is still an option.

If a person seems interested in you, it is less nerve-wracking to issue an invitation to a group activity. Say, “A bunch of us are going to the Greek Festival on Saturday. The food and music will be great – want to join us?”

Go where there is a community table.

I do this in several coffee shops and have talked to interesting people. One coffee shop is open late with led lighting which changes colour. It has DJ training classes which ensures edgy music and a lively vibe.  I write in this place and encounter creative types like me.

Spend time with outgoing friends.

They will talk to others and draw people to your group. You can meet the individuals who come over for a chat. A potential date may be on the shy side too, and find talking to you in your group a bit less of a chance for rejection.  Various podcasts give tips on how to meet people when by yourself or in a group.

Practice making connections.

Talk to people who are not potential dates – grannies, kids, a parent. This is like training wheels when learning how to ride a bike. Practice engaging others in conversation – the person behind you in the queue at the cashiers. I talk to people during the long wait at the post office. It makes the time pass quickly and the parting winks are nice.

Engage in conversation to those around you.

It will lead into talking to those who could be interesting to date. You are not targeting them specifically, when you talk to everyone.  I chatted to people in a queue for a festival.  One of them asked me out and we got engaged ten months later. One never knows.

Introverts can give off the wrong non-verbal message that they are not interested.

An introvert may turn away or avoid eye contact even though they are hearing wedding bells in their head. This is a deterrent for the other individual to pursue any more contact with the introvert. Force yourself to maintain eye contact. Turn towards the potential date. If you freeze and your brain cannot form a sentence, at least smile and nod.  Anything to show interest and prevent them from misunderstanding your feelings and walking away.

Connecting with those you are interested in as a date, is a skill.

One does not learn how to play the violin overnight, so do not expect to be dazzling the first few times you attempt to meet people to date.  Consider making friends with a variety of people.  By doing this, an organic relationship can develop into a lifelong partnership.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE ARTICLES BY WENDI SCHULLER

ABOUT WENDI

Wendi Schuller is a nurse, hypnotherapist, dating coach and is certified in Neuro-linguistic Programing (NLP).

Her most recent book is The Global Guide to Divorce and she has over 200 published articles.

She is a guest on radio programs in the US and UK and a weekly podcast datingcoach.coach . Her website is globalguidetodivorce.com.

Retroactive jealousy can lead to divorce.

This  can be a red flag that something  in the relationship is wrong.  It also can indicate that a partner has control issues or has their own problem of handling jealousy.

Retroactive jalousie  also happens post-divorce when a former spouse cannot let go and is jealous of the other people that came before him or her.

When dating post-divorce, watch out for a love interest who asks too many questions or wants a detailed history of your past.

Retroactive jealousy is when a spouse discovers something unknown from their partner’s past.

It could be finding an old photo or love letter.

A couple may have gone over the highlights of their dating pre-marriage. They gave the headlines version of a distant love life.

The individuals glossed over their past instead of listing each and every person they dated, which would have been unrealistic.

When the other spouse goes ballistic upon uncovering a reminder of their partner’s previous dating period, this is retroactive jealousy.

This type of jealousy goes off the deep end, where a person becomes obsessed with it. The thought of their current or former spouse being with someone else, is swirling around in their brains. They cannot let go of the movie in their head starring their partner and a former flame.

The question is – does a partner have the right to know intimate details of their spouse’s former lovers?   Or names and the number of past flings?  Possibly from a health point position.

If a person has had several long-term intimate relationships, instead of many one-night stands, there is less of a risk for pasting on sexually transmitted diseases.  Being aware of a partner’s history having a string drunken one-night stands would necessitate using a condom.

In one case, a woman’s fiancé repeatedly asked whom she lost her virginity with and how many other lovers she had after that (zero). Although this man was not a virgin himself, he was upset that she had a prior sexual relationship before they met.

He demanded to know who that person was and kept insinuating that there were more guys she was not mentioning. She eventually kicked him to the kerb and got on with her life.

On an emotional level, accidentally finding out about a deep, dark secret can hurt – even end a relationship.

Not being told of a previous marriage or about a baby given up for adoption who is now an adult knocking on the front door, is a shock.

This can get the other person wondering about what else might be hidden.  A spouse may lose their trust when a situation like this occurs.  Feeling lied to or there was a cover up is a bit more than a spouse having reactive jealousy over a forgotten photograph being found.

If you are the one struggling with retroactive jealousy, examine what specifically bothers you.

• Is it the fear of abandonment? You possibly are afraid of being dumped for a former lover.
• Feelings of being inadequate – that you are not enough? This could be an insecurity issue.
• Are you too controlling – resenting your spouse’s ties to other people and friendships?
• Are you fantasising -seeing images of your spouse and their former lover over and over?

Steps to take

Consider talking about your jealousy with your partner. Most likely they have no idea, will have a laugh and then be reassuring that you are still number one. They might be trying to revive your relationship in an unhealthy way, by talking about past romances. This has to stop.

Does your relationship seem shaky and not stable? Talk to your partner. Perhaps they are feeling the same way and are motivated to get it back on track.

Perhaps your love life got a bit routine and boring and that is why you are focused on your partner’s past one.  Spice it up, such as with a naughty weekend in Paris. Get out of your familiar environment.

Is there something lacking in your life now which propels you to dwell on your partner’s past?

This could be due to not feeling fulfilled or knowing your purpose in life. Enrich your life with stimulating new ventures, activities or sports. Perhaps connect with a Higher Power.  When one has too much time on their hands that encourages the mind to wander and dwell on the past. Meet new people and reconnect with ones you already know.

Post-divorce, retroactive jealousy can be an issue, especially when you were you the one left behind.

• Avoid triggers. Go to new places and avoid the ones you frequented as a couple. No need to see your ex snuggling with someone new.
• Shake up your routine. If you went out for morning cappuccinos as a couple, then go out in the afternoon. Not helpful to daydream about whom she is sharing coffee with now. If he enjoyed Friday after work drinks, then go to the pub at another time period.  It is avoiding doing things that you did when married and lessening the chance of an accidental encounter.
• Avoid stalking them in person or online. Living with retroactive jealousy is a waste of one’s energy and time when the marriage is over.

To help get regarding retroactive jealsouy, talk to your friends who are great listeners and allow you to vent. Also, they may give a reality check.

There are divorce charities which help individuals to move on post-divorce.  A relationship counsellor can help people deal with reactive jealousy and see a situation more clearly.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE ARTICLES BY WENDI SCHULLER

ABOUT WENDI

Wendi Schuller is a nurse, hypnotherapist and is certified in Neuro-linguistic Programing (NLP).

Her most recent book is The Global Guide to Divorce and she has over 200 published articles.

She is a guest on radio programs in the US and UK. Her website is globalguidetodivorce.com.