Have you ever heard of someone who has made the statement like “I wish I could have had this or that but it’s not going to happen for me?”
In the early stages of divorce I would look at married couples and their families and say the same thing.
Comments such as “must be nice” or “she just doesn’t realize how good she has it” were my top two hopeless phrases.
Yes I created hopeless phrases to secure my sense of hopelessness. I would even speak this in the presence of my kids with comments such as “now you know we can’t afford that” and “things are different now we can’t have that”.
So what was wrong with this way of thinking? I personally removed hope from my vocabulary and my life after my divorce.
I let a tragic event in my life (divorce) dictate if I and my girls should have hope. Sounds crazy but a lot of us do it. It wasn’t until I started speaking hope in our lives I saw change.
To be honest I was just testing it to see if it would work and guess what ladies it did. I removed myself from my negative associates. Yes negative must stay around negativity to feed itself.
So long story short, I lost many friends in my life. However, I made a decision to place myself around positive speaking people and guess what it worked.
When I went from saying “we won’t be able to buy a house” to saying over and over again “I will buy a house”, we actually bought a house. When I went from saying “I will never get a job working from home” to one day “I will work from home”, I got the job working from home.
Now I will say this it wasn’t overnight please don’t think that I bought a home over night or got a job the next day. Now it took time and in both of these cases a lot of time, but I never gave up on the hope that I would one day have the things I desire for me and my daughters.
After her second divorce, Charis decided that it was time to do something not only for herself but also for other women going through similar struggles.
As a survivor of divorce, Charis knows all about the lies and confusion that come with divorce. Though divorce does eventually end, the emotional scars and stress that come with a difficult divorce do not.
Charis is passionate about speaking the truth to women who are caught in the endless cycle of struggle after divorce and she encourages them to share their stories to help provide not only counseling for themselves but also support for others.
Charis does not limit her time to Draw for Women but also reaches out in other ways.
She is an accomplished and published author, having penned God Rarest Diamonds: A Proverbs Life after Divorce Devotional for women and Coming Soon- The 30 Day Life after Divorce Prayer Challenge for Women, which provides encouragement, support, and spiritual enlightenment to those who are struggling, helping readers bring peace to their life journeys. In addition to Draw for Women and writing,
Charis has a personal life that is as full as her professional life.
Charis is married to a wonderful man and is the mother of two talented and beautiful daughters.
Charis earned her Bachelor’s Degree in Business Technical Management with a concentration in Small Business and Entrepreneurship- Magna Cum Laude in Spring of 2016 and is currently pursuing her MBA.
When she is not working or studying, Charis loves to read, write, and travel. Charis is a dedicated individual who wants nothing more than to share her ideas, experiences, and knowledge to help other women who are struggling with divorce to become comfortable with themselves and with the state of their lives again.
Twitter: Charis Rooks @draw4women