I remember seeing a friend post beautiful pictures of what looked to be an awesome vacation she took on Facebook.
When I called to get details she said to me “Charis it was the worst vacation ever. They lost my luggage, my room was not ready, and I ate something I was allergic to”.
After we laughed about it I got off the phone and thought wow looking at this awesome picture is such an illusion.
Then I looked at myself and said wow my life was just that an illusion.
On the outside I looked like a woman who has overcome not one but two divorces and is working and successfully getting back up on her feet.
However that wasn’t the case at all that was my illusion that I created for all to see. My ability to hide my pain grew stronger day by day. Just as my joy and healing were draining right out of my life.
The lie grew bigger and I grew more distant.
I remember feeling so out of place one day when a friend of mine said “Charis I don’t know how you can do it you are a strong woman”.
Yes in a sense I felt like I finally made it and I was that strong woman who needed no one. I had overcome with my own strength and was progressing forward on my own. Everything on the outside was looking great.
Single mother of two who lost everything now has a new home, new car, great job, enrolled back in college, making straight A’s, and yes we are even taking family vacations now. So tell me why with all of these perfect things going on in my life why was I feeling like the vacation my friend took.
It was the worst I had ever felt in my life but I appeared to be back on track and even better than ever. The best way I can describe it was like I was trapped in a sound proof box screaming but no one could hear me.
If you can relate to this I would like to ask that you to focus more on authenticity because believe it or not it is ok to not be ok. This is where you will find your strength and confidence to break through the illusion and begin to progress towards your own personal healing after divorce.
After her second divorce, Charis decided that it was time to do something not only for herself but also for other women going through similar struggles.
As a survivor of divorce, Charis knows all about the lies and confusion that come with divorce. Though divorce does eventually end, the emotional scars and stress that come with a difficult divorce do not.
Charis is passionate about speaking the truth to women who are caught in the endless cycle of struggle after divorce and she encourages them to share their stories to help provide not only counseling for themselves but also support for others.
Charis does not limit her time to Draw for Women but also reaches out in other ways.
She is an accomplished and published author, having penned God Rarest Diamonds: A Proverbs Life after Divorce Devotional for women and Coming Soon- The 30 Day Life after Divorce Prayer Challenge for Women, which provides encouragement, support, and spiritual enlightenment to those who are struggling, helping readers bring peace to their life journeys. In addition to Draw for Women and writing,
Charis has a personal life that is as full as her professional life.
Charis is married to a wonderful man and is the mother of two talented and beautiful daughters.
Charis earned her Bachelor’s Degree in Business Technical Management with a concentration in Small Business and Entrepreneurship- Magna Cum Laude in Spring of 2016 and is currently pursuing her MBA.
When she is not working or studying, Charis loves to read, write, and travel. Charis is a dedicated individual who wants nothing more than to share her ideas, experiences, and knowledge to help other women who are struggling with divorce to become comfortable with themselves and with the state of their lives again.
Twitter: Charis Rooks @draw4women