Dealing with Infidelity…or how not to

Charis Rooks
Charis Rooks
Author and Speaker

One of the hardest things to do when you feel as if you have been victimized is be wise in what you say.

When your divorce is a result of an affair this is one of the areas that you see the tongue moving a lot.

I personally found myself so upset after my second divorce that I contacted his family, friends, even his mistress.

I was so hurt I had to make sure I would hurt him and humiliate him as he humiliated me. I wanted to seem as if I was better off without him, and how terrible he was. Opening my mouth in such a way ruined many things for me.

I was so angry and spiteful it spilled over into every other relationship I had and I didn’t even realize it.

Relationships I had as a mother, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, co-worker, etc…. In thinking that I would feel better, I actually felt worse, obsessive, and I made it so uncomfortable for those around me.

I spoke ruin over all areas and aspects of my life.

Understand that the feeling of validation for trying to get back at the person who hurt you is temporary. It’s the same as putting a band aid over a gash in your leg that needs stitches.

You can keep band aids on it, however over time it will continue to bleed, become infected and you could lose that leg if not treated properly. Stop feeding the negativity in your life by trying to humiliate your ex.

Trust me it’s not worth the pain you are causing yourself in the long run.


After her second divorce, Charis decided that it was time to do something not only for herself but also for other women going through similar struggles.

As a survivor of divorce, Charis knows all about the lies and confusion that come with divorce. Though divorce does eventually end, the emotional scars and stress that come with a difficult divorce do not.

Charis is passionate about speaking the truth to women who are caught in the endless cycle of struggle after divorce and she encourages them to share their stories to help provide not only counseling for themselves but also support for others.

Charis does not limit her time to Draw for Women but also reaches out in other ways.

She is an accomplished and published author, having penned God Rarest Diamonds: A Proverbs Life after Divorce Devotional for women and Coming Soon- The 30 Day Life after Divorce Prayer Challenge for Women, which provides encouragement, support, and spiritual enlightenment to those who are struggling, helping readers bring peace to their life journeys. In addition to Draw for Women and writing,

Charis has a personal life that is as full as her professional life.

Charis is married to a wonderful man and is the mother of two talented and beautiful daughters.

Charis earned her Bachelor’s Degree in Business Technical Management with a concentration in Small Business and Entrepreneurship- Magna Cum Laude in Spring of 2016 and is currently pursuing her MBA.

When she is not working or studying, Charis loves to read, write, and travel. Charis is a dedicated individual who wants nothing more than to share her ideas, experiences, and knowledge to help other women who are struggling with divorce to become comfortable with themselves and with the state of their lives again. 


Twitter: Charis Rooks @draw4women

Instagram: Draw4Women

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