For some there are moments that may occur in your life where you say to yourself “I’m here after divorce now what”?
There are so many suggestions and ideas from family, friends, and even strangers that it can tend to make you feel over whelmed.
When I think of these suggestions I think of clothing in a clothing store.
There are tons of options with a purpose of clothing the body however I have yet to see someone go in and buy one of every item out of every department for themselves.
That’s just not practical for example, the average woman would not buy herself a pair of pants out of the newborn section. No instead she will shop for her own particular style and size custom to her needs and liking.
So why do we take every piece of advice after divorce and try to apply it to our lives without first making sure it applies to our current situation?
Some may argue and say I did it out of desperation.
I would then ask you out of desperation would you run to the newborn section of a clothing store to buy business attire for an interview? Sounds unrealistic and border line crazy however this is exactly what you are doing in your life by trying every suggestion that is given to you without first discerning its application.
I will admit some of us are blessed to have loved ones, family members, and friends who have our best interest in mind.
However their advice may be what they want to see for us at times. This isn’t a bad thing in fact in some cases they love us enough to want to help. However what is dangerous is the fact that their advice is what THEY want to see for our lives and this may not be what we NEED in our lives at that particular moment in time.
The best way to handle multiple suggestions from those who love you would be to select the suggestion that applies to your particular need at that point in time.
In other words suggestions of dating the day after your divorce to move on would not be as much of a wise priority suggestion as would a family member discussing with you ways to save your money and invest as a single woman in a single income house hold.
The best advice I can give in a situation like this, would be to evaluate the suggestion you have been given before acting on it.
If you are not feeling well about a suggestion and you find yourself debating or polling others then I bet it’s safe to say that this is not a suggestion that should take priority right now in your situation.
I’m not saying you will never need it, I’m saying just for now it should be revisited when you feel more comfortable with the suggestion and application of it in your life.
After her second divorce, Charis decided that it was time to do something not only for herself but also for other women going through similar struggles.
As a survivor of divorce, Charis knows all about the lies and confusion that come with divorce. Though divorce does eventually end, the emotional scars and stress that come with a difficult divorce do not.
Charis is passionate about speaking the truth to women who are caught in the endless cycle of struggle after divorce and she encourages them to share their stories to help provide not only counseling for themselves but also support for others.
Charis does not limit her time to Draw for Women but also reaches out in other ways.
She is an accomplished and published author, having penned God Rarest Diamonds: A Proverbs Life after Divorce Devotional for women and Coming Soon- The 30 Day Life after Divorce Prayer Challenge for Women, which provides encouragement, support, and spiritual enlightenment to those who are struggling, helping readers bring peace to their life journeys. In addition to Draw for Women and writing,
Charis has a personal life that is as full as her professional life.
Charis is married to a wonderful man and is the mother of two talented and beautiful daughters.
Charis earned her Bachelor’s Degree in Business Technical Management with a concentration in Small Business and Entrepreneurship- Magna Cum Laude in Spring of 2016 and is currently pursuing her MBA.
When she is not working or studying, Charis loves to read, write, and travel. Charis is a dedicated individual who wants nothing more than to share her ideas, experiences, and knowledge to help other women who are struggling with divorce to become comfortable with themselves and with the state of their lives again.
Twitter: Charis Rooks @draw4women