Director at
Family Law in Partnership
Is there another way to begin?
Most people assume that if a relationship ends, the first step is for each person to find their own lawyer. Sometimes that is exactly the right decision but in other situations, it may not be.
For many couples, the biggest challenge is understanding their options, making informed decisions and finding a way to move forward without unnecessary conflict or cost.
That raises an important question. Could one lawyer, advising both people together, be the better option for some couples?
When a family goes through change, it can be difficult to know what to do first. The path ahead may feel uncertain and, at a time when emotions are running high, making the right decisions can seem overwhelming.
In the past, you might have talked things through with your partner but now, they may be the one person you no longer feel able to rely on for guidance.
Instead of immediately asking, “Who should represent me?”, there may be a more helpful first question: “What process will help us make the best decisions for our family?”
For some couples, appointing separate solicitors is the right answer from the outset. For others, there may be a different way to begin, one that helps both people understand the legal framework, explore their options and work towards informed decisions together.
Why do people look for an alternative?
The traditional process can be expensive. A simple conversation may involve several stages:
- You speak with your lawyer
- Your lawyer contacts the other lawyer
- The other lawyer speaks with your ex
- They receive instructions
- Those instructions are passed back to the other lawyer
- The other lawyer contacts your lawyer
- Your lawyer then comes back to you.
That is a long process simply to begin a conversation.
People also worry that different lawyers may offer different views about the likely outcome. Legal advice is always shaped by the facts and circumstances, but it can sometimes leave people wondering where the common ground really lies.
When can one lawyer work?
Of course, one lawyer is not suitable for every family.
Where there are safeguarding concerns, controlling behaviour or deeply entrenched positions, separate representation may be the right and safest option.
There is, however, a large group of couples who simply want clear, independent legal information to help them make informed decisions together. They are asking questions such as:
- What do we have and what are our options?
- What is the usual approach?
- What is likely to happen for each of us?
- What risks should we avoid?
- How do we meet our children’s needs while allowing both of us to move forward?
Choosing the right process
Choosing the right process at the beginning is one of the most important decisions you can make. The right process, with the right people at the right time, often leads to better outcomes.
Too often, uncertainty about what the other person might do leads both people to appoint specialist litigators before exploring whether there is a more constructive alternative.
For many families, a different approach can:
- Provide clearer answers
- Resolve issues more quickly
- Reduce legal costs
- Give everyone a better understanding of the available options
- Allow both people to play a more active role in shaping the outcome
How does one lawyer work?
One lawyer sees the common interest between two people who might be separating as sufficient glue for acting for both of them together.
Before the process begins, there is a careful assessment to ensure that both people are choosing the process freely, that it is safe and appropriate and that each person is willing to listen, understand the options and make informed decisions.
When that foundation is in place, the conversation often becomes more productive. Both people hear the same advice, ask their own questions and develop a shared understanding of the legal framework within which they will make decisions.
In many circumstances, it allows a couple to work together again, not as partners, but as parents or former partners seeking practical solutions for the future.
A flexible approach
Importantly, choosing one lawyer is not an irreversible decision.
A couple can move to separate representation if the process no longer meets their needs. Equally, they may arrive at one lawyer after beginning in another process, such as Mediation.
For many families, it provides an excellent starting point. Two people hear the same advice, from the same lawyer, at the same time. From there, they are often better equipped to work together, understand their options and find their own way forward with clarity, care and confidence.
Find out more
Every family is different, and no single process is right for everyone. If you are considering whether the one lawyer approach could be right for you, we are here to help you understand your options.
Find out more about FLiP Together, One Couple, One Lawyer at:
https://www.flip.co.uk/flip-together-one-couple-one-lawyer/
Read more articles by James Pirrie.
Read more articles by Family Law in Partnership.
About James Pirrie
James Pirrie is a Director of Family Law in Partnership, a highly regarded law firm based in London, which specialises in de-escalating conflict in family law. He is an Arbitrator, Family Solicitor and Mediator accredited in child-inclusive mediation.
James is driven to improve long term outcomes for families who are experiencing separation or divorce. He is credited with introducing collaborative law to the UK and with changing how children’s needs are addressed during family breakdown through the Parenting after Parting initiative.