One of the difficult things about divorce is that, as a parent, you still have to continue parenting while you go through all those difficult and challenging emotions.
Unfortunately, there are parents who find it hard to differentiate their own feelings of anger, vengeance and hurt from the feelings that of their children are experiencing and lose focus of how their behaviour maybe affecting their little ones.
Truth is children need both parents, unless of course there are genuine concerns around safety.
Did you know that having fathers in your child’s life increases their chances to a better life as an adult?
Here is what to look out for in toxic parenting and children:
Remember that the divorce itself is a really important event in your child’s life but how you handle it is what matters most.
Here are some questions that you need to ask yourself if you’r wondering if you are practising toxic parenting or if you know someone who is:
– Are you making your child choose, in any way, between you and your ex partner?
– Do you involve your child in adult matters?
– Do you use your child as a messenger or mediator to pass on messages between the two of you? Do you try to use your child to fix a situation?
– Do you speak disparagingly about the other parent in front of your child or within ear shot? Have you embarked on a campaign of denigration with the aim of alienating the other parent?
– Do you use your child as a spy by questioning them about their time away with the other parent?
– Do you holding your child hostage from the other parent? Or are you Interrupting the relationship between your child and the other parent?
– Do you harm your ex in front of the children of within earshot of them? Be it verbally or physically?
Soila is the founder of The Divorce Magazine and creator of the online course – Helping Children Cope with Divorce
She is known for taking away the pain of trauma and loss in children, adolescents and their families and is the author of “When Love is Broken. A read-together book for children and parents going through divorce and separation.
Soila holds an MSc in Psychoanalytic Developmental Psychology from UCL (University College London), is an accredited Positive Parenting Program (Triple P) practitioner and a trained Family Mediator.
Soila is Graduate Member of the British Psychological Society.
You can contact her on 07850 85 60 66 or via email firstname.lastname@example.org