Tips on Boosting Confidence During a Divorce

One’s confidence level can dip during divorce. We may feel less self-assured or are fixed in one spot, not sure which way to move.  Proceedings are stressful and leave us questioning ourselves.  There are steps to take which can boost confidence.

Do a self-analysis

In what areas do you feel could use improving? Think about where you excel, such as on the job, connecting with others, etc.  Your talents and abilities, may have brought accolades, such as when winning a contest for writing or artwork. A person may have a magnificent voice which is central to their choir. One may be surprised at how many areas of confidence outweigh what scares them. People sometimes focus on the negatives instead of the positives and feel that they lack confidence in general, rather than in a few specific aspects of their lives.

Fix your weaker areas

Learning new skills, is a way to fix the areas which are weak and lacking in confidence. Building confidence is like building up a muscle when lifting weights – it benefits the whole person and not just one part. Take a computer class if feeling wobbly about IT on the job. Some people have stated they feel awkward trying to make small talk. Small talk is a way to connect with others and is important socially as well as in one’s career. Joining groups with a purpose, such as hiking, photography, chess, books etc. makes conversations easier.  The trick is to discover a specific step you can take, as people did in this example, to increase your confidence.

Follow dreams and passions

Divorced people have gained confidence doing mountain climbing, running marathons or doing treks. They got out in nature and were surprised at the feats they accomplished. This sense of achievement spilled over into other parts of their lives, boosting confidence. An animal-loving friend opened up a sanctuary. She had been a bit unsure of herself after her divorce from Hell. Running this animal sanctuary pumped up her confidence and she began to explore what else she could do.

Share your expertise by tutoring, coaching or volunteering

Volunteering takes the focus off you and perceived inadequacies.  People mentoring kids failing in school or had families in turmoil, said watching them blossom into young adults positively affected how they felt about themselves.  Making a difference in the world takes one outside of themselves and boosts self-confidence. Seeing individuals become successful and win due to your coaching, is rewarding as well as a confidence booster.

Lack of confidence can be tied to how we think others are judging us. Eleanor Roosevelt said “You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realised how seldom they do.” If there is a CD in your brain spewing negative comments about you, then replace it. Mistakes are a way to learn how to do something better, as Henry Ford and Thomas Edison have stated.

Start small with baby steps. Get out of your comfort zone and try new things. It is okay to treat yourself when working on building up confidence. I had no confidence in public speaking and needed to do this in a new job post-divorce. I joined Toastmasters to learn this public speaking skill and pump up my confidence. What helped get me going at first was treating myself to lattes with friends after these meetings. I gained confidence and love getting in front of an audience. When working on an area of low confidence, you may be surprised at what doors open to you.

Read more articles by Wendi Schuller.

Wendi Schuller

Wendi Schuller is a dating coach who helps people after divorce and break-ups to start dating again. She is a hypnotherapist, NLP practitioner and a nurse. She wrote The Global Guide To Divorce.  https://globalguidetodivorce.com     

She writes the Jack Jack The Cat series for children.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.