Senior Associate
Stowe Family Law – Newcastle Office
When parents separate, one of the most challenging aspects to navigate is how to manage child arrangements, especially during school holidays and when planning holidays abroad. These times, which should be filled with joy and relaxation for children, can often become a source of tension if not handled thoughtfully. In this article, we’ll explore practical ways to approach these arrangements, keeping the child’s well-being at the heart of every decision.
School Holiday Arrangements: Finding Balance
School holidays are a time when children look forward to a break from their usual routines, and they often provide an opportunity for quality time with both parents. However, for separated families, deciding how to share this time can be tricky. The key is to focus on creating a plan that works for everyone, especially the children.
A common approach is to split the school holidays equally between parents. For example, at Easter each parent has one week each and during the summer holidays each parent has 3 weeks. Some families choose to split longer holidays, such as Christmas, so the children can spend time with both parents. For instance, one parent might have the children for Christmas Eve and Christmas morning, while the other has them for Christmas afternoon and Boxing Day.
Flexibility is crucial here. Life is unpredictable, and plans may need to change. Open communication between parents can help avoid misunderstandings and ensure that the arrangements remain child-focused. It’s also important to consider the children’s preferences, especially as they grow older. They may have their own ideas about how they’d like to spend their holidays, and involving them in the conversation can make them feel valued and heard.
Planning Holidays Abroad: What to Keep in Mind
Taking children on holiday abroad can be a wonderful experience, but it does require careful planning when parents are separated. The first thing to remember is that if you share parental responsibility, you’ll need the other parent’s consent to take the children out of the country. This applies even if the trip is just for a short holiday.
When discussing holidays abroad, it’s helpful to provide as much detail as possible. Share your travel plans, including dates, destinations, and accommodation details. This transparency can help build trust and reduce any concerns the other parent might have. It’s also a good idea to agree on how you’ll keep in touch while you’re away, so the other parent can feel reassured about the children’s well-being.
If there are concerns about the children being returned to the UK after the holiday, it’s worth discussing safeguards. For example, some parents agree to provide written confirmation of their return plans or even financial guarantees. While these measures might not always be necessary, they can help ease anxieties and ensure that everyone feels comfortable with the arrangements. In more extreme cases, an application to Court can be made for an Order prohibiting a parent from permanently removing a child from the UK.
Keeping the Child’s Well-Being at the Centre
At the heart of all these arrangements is the need to prioritise the child’s well-being. School holidays and trips abroad should be opportunities for children to relax, have fun, and create happy memories. To achieve this, it’s important for parents to work together as a team, even if their relationship is no longer intact.
Children thrive when they feel secure and loved by both parents. By showing a willingness to cooperate and compromise, parents can create a positive environment that allows their children to enjoy their time with each parent without feeling caught in the middle of any conflict.
It’s also worth remembering that children pick up on tension between their parents. If disagreements arise, try to resolve them away from the children. This not only protects them from unnecessary stress but also sets a positive example of how to handle challenges constructively.
What to Do If Things Go Wrong
Despite everyone’s best efforts, there may be times when disagreements arise, or plans don’t go as expected. If this happens, it’s important to stay calm and focus on finding a solution that works for everyone.
To resolve matters negotiation is a great tool. This can either be negotiation between yourselves or you may choose to have a family or friend to mediate. Alternatively you can instruct a solicitor to write to the other party setting out your proposals in the hope of reaching a resolution.
Mediation can be a helpful way to resolve disputes, providing a neutral space where both parents can discuss their concerns and work towards an agreement. Mediation involves a trained third party assisting and facilitating the discussion between you with the aim of reaching a resolution. Mediation is a voluntary process and you will not be legally bound by the decision made.
If an agreement still can’t be reached, it may be necessary to make an application to Court for a child arrangements order or a specific issue order if you are disagreeing about a particular holiday you wish to take with your child. While this can feel daunting, it’s worth remembering that the focus will always be on what’s best for the child. Courts encourage parents to work together wherever possible, and any decisions made will prioritise the child’s welfare above all else.
Child arrangements orders also provide you with a clear and concise legally binding order setting out the holiday arrangements. This can avoid disputes and conflict arising in the future. It also provides you with some reassurance as if a child arrangements order is breached, an enforcement application can be made to the Court. The court has robust enforcement powers. These include imposing unpaid work requirements, varying the order, or referring parents to parenting programmes. For example, if a parent fails to return a child from a holiday abroad, the court may impose sanctions to ensure compliance with future orders.
Final Thoughts
Navigating child arrangements after separation is rarely easy, but with open communication, flexibility, and a focus on the child’s needs, it is possible to create arrangements that work for everyone. School holidays and trips abroad should be times of joy and connection for children, and by working together, parents can ensure that these moments are as special as they deserve to be.
About Sophie Croft
Sophie Croft is a Senior Associate at Stowe Family Law, based in the Newcastle office. Sophie covers all areas of divorce in her practice, and specialises in children matters. She deals with complex children cases including situations involving allegations of domestic abuse. Sophie is a Resolution accredited specialist in private children law, and private law children proceedings. She is known for her empathetic, listening ear and her clear, strategic advice.