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Why it is Vital to Include Pensions in Divorce Settlements in 2025
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Why it is Vital to Include Pensions in Divorce Settlements in 2025

Published on
Nicki Mitchell
Nicki Mitchell
Partner
Jones Myers

Sponsored post by Jones Myers. I cannot underestimate the critical role that pensions play in financial settlements as the volume of  divorce enquiries I am receiving increases this January.

Their importance has been further reinforced by New Year calculations from online investment service Interactive Investor, whose financial analysts say that spouses could lose up to £665k by overlooking pensions and failing to take them into account in divorce settlements.

Pensions are frequently one of the most valuable assets of a marriage, often making up the second highest – or sometimes the highest – value asset in a divorce settlement after the family home.

It is key that information about pensions is made available in the financial disclosure process, which must take place before any binding financial settlement can be made.

Disclosure must include details of all pensions, including state pensions – and the value of each one. This ensures that couples are able to make informed decisions as to what a fair settlement looks like for them

The most common way in which a disparity in pensions is addressed in a divorce settlement is pension sharing which provides a clean break between parties, as the pension assets are split immediately.

Alternatively, in some cases ex-spouses prefer to take a greater share of the equity in the family home or other capital, as a trade-off for a share of the other’s pension.

Some divorces may involve several pension arrangements so it is important to consider which arrangements should be shared, and to what extent.

The pension share may be internal (when the recipient becomes a member of the scheme) or external when the share must be invested in an existing or new arrangement of the receiving party. Care should be taken to obtain details of the cost of any transfer.

In deciding what is best for them, the couple need to consider how their respective financial needs will be met  and what other assets are available for distribution.

Alternative and non-confrontational ways for divorcing couples to reach a financial settlement without a lengthy and expensive court process include Mediation and Collaborative Family Law.

Both options – in which I have extensive expertise – are conducted in a spirit of mutual co-operation and put children’s best interest first.

At Jones Myers we always recommend that divorcing couples seek expert advice from highly experienced lawyers regarding their finances. Independent Financial Advisers can assist with pension valuations and projected future incomes.

Taking guidance early on will avoid the risk of losing out on what could be a substantial pension sharing provision that spouses are entitled to – and which can prevent long-term financial issues.

Read more articles by Nicki Mitchell.

About Nicki Mitchell

With three decades experience in family law, Nicki specialises in the financial aspects of relationship breakdown – and particularly complex cases involving family businesses, multiple properties, and complicated pension arrangements.

A skilled mediator, child inclusive mediator and collaborative family lawyer Nicki champions Alternative Dispute Resolution processes which avoid a lengthy court process and can lead much more quickly and cost effectively to a successful resolution.

Her exceptional track record also includes advising clients on the more traditional methods of resolving issues surrounding family breakdowns. Direct Dial: 01904 202553 or email  Nicki.mitchell@jonesmyers.co.uk  www.jonesmyers.co.uk

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Doing it For the Kids: Co-Parenting Strategies For the New Year
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Doing it For the Kids: Co-Parenting Strategies For the New Year

Published on
Emma Alfieri - Co-Parenting
Emma Alfieri
Legal Director
Greene & Greene Solicitors

Following separation, often parents start the arrangements for their shared children without much of a plan whilst the family settle into their new situation.  Sometimes parents might adjust the arrangements over time until they can settle into a routine that suits the family.

Sadly, and often where there is poor communication and the co-parenting relationship is not a strong one, the arrangements later breakdown.

Cafcass, the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service say that if children experience poor inter-parental relations or do not know when they are next seeing the other parent, they are more likely to worry, especially if there are long gaps between visits without an explanation.  Therefore, it is important for separated parents to always put the children’s needs first, despite any differences with their former partner.

As a family lawyer, I am often approached by separated parents who seek to regulate the arrangements between them and the other parent.  Before considering Court intervention, there are a number of tools available that can help separated parents to co-parent more effectively:

  • A Parenting Plan – Parents can work together and formulate a Parenting Plan, which is a plan negotiated and agreed between the parents setting out what the arrangements for the child / children will be. For a free Parenting Plan template, visit: www.planningtogether.cafcass.gov.uk/plan
  • Parenting App – Where there is conflict between parents, and they struggle to communicate, a Parenting App should be considered. There are many free and paid Parenting Apps available, and the idea is that the App is used by the parents for discussion about the children only, and it can include things like calendars, ability to make audio and video calls, share expenses, make payments and maintain a secure text communication with the other parent.   Feedback from parents who have tried this have reported that limiting communication to an App has been helpful.
  • A parenting course. Attended alone or together, a parenting course can be a useful way for parents to gain insight about positive co-parenting and the benefits to the child / children. The courses usually consider how parents can effectively communicate and work together with the other parent to agree co-parenting arrangements without the need for Court intervention.
  • Mediation – If separated parents cannot agree the arrangements for the child / children, then they should consider Family Mediation. This is a process in which an independent professional trained Mediator helps the parents work out the arrangements for the children. The Mediator will help to try and find a solution which works for both parents.  The process is less stressful and significantly quicker than going to Court, and Mediators work with separating parents in ways that are flexible.  If separated parents do not want to be in the same space, then often remote Mediation sessions can take place.
  • Child Inclusive Mediation – This is a structured process which is suitable for older children where a qualified family mediator speaks to the child / children to ascertain their wishes and feelings. Where the children give permission, these wishes and feelings are then shared by the mediator with the parents in a separate feedback meeting. The parents can then use this information to agree the child arrangements moving forwards.

Conclusion

The risk to a deterioration in the child / children’s emotional wellbeing and mental health increases significantly where separated parents have a high level of conflict between them.  Therefore, separated parents are encouraged to consider how they can try and work together and communicate.

Remember that as children get older, often their needs will change. Therefore, when arrangements for children are made when children are very young, sometimes those arrangements could have a limited shelf life and later need to be reviewed – another reason to try and remain amicable with the other parent, where possible.

This is only intended to be a summary and not specific legal advice.

Read more articles by Emma Alfieri.

About Emma Alfieri

Emma Alfieri is a Legal Director at Suffolk firm Greene & Greene Solicitors.

Emma advises on all aspects of family law, including divorce and associated financial matters, disputes between cohabitants and child related disputes.

A member of Resolution, Emma is committed to resolving disputes as positively and agreeably as possible whilst also being motivated to obtain the best possible outcome for her clients.

Since 2012 Emma has been consistently recommended by the Legal 500 on an annual basis and in the most recent 2024 edition Emma is ranked as a “rising star”.

As an advocate of fault free divorce, Emma lobbied at Parliament with other members of Resolution in 2016 to bring about the recent changes to divorce law.

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When "I Do" Turns Into "I Don't": Key Considerations for Divorce Later in Life
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When “I Do” Turns Into “I Don’t”: Key Considerations for Divorce Later in Life

Published on
Hayley McCormack
Hayley McCormack
Partner
Roythornes Solicitors

Over the past 30 years, divorces among individuals aged 60 and over have surged by an astounding 85%. In the past decade alone, divorce rates for men over 65 have risen by 23%, while rates for women over 65 have climbed by 38%. This has slowly but surely materialised in a steadily growing trend, commonly referred to as ‘grey divorce’ or ‘silver splitting,’ particularly prevalent among those nearing or already in retirement, and embodying a deviation or redefinition of ‘for better or worse’.

Unlike earlier-life divorces, grey divorce often poses implications of its own kind due to the life stage of those involved. Hayley McCormack, a family law specialist at Roythornes Solicitors, navigates the complexities of separating at later stages in life, particularly as this presents significant financial challenges, due to the proximity to retirement and the complexity of accumulated assets.

Historically, divorce was rarely a viable option for older couples, as financial dependence and social stigma discouraged separation. Women, in particular, often lacked financial independence, making it difficult to consider leaving a marriage in later years. Today, however, as societal norms have evolved and financial autonomy has increased, more couples see separation as a realistic path, even in retirement. Unlike younger couples, later-life divorces often involve the division of lifetime possessions such as pensions, property, and savings, which can have a profound impact on future security and stability.

There’s no place like home

One of the most contentious aspects of later-life separation is agreeing what to do with the family home, which for many is one of the most valuable assets in a marriage. The matrimonial home often carries sentimental significance over financial value. In most grey divorce cases, deciding whether to sell, retain, or transfer ownership of the home can be acutely convoluted as the choice will precede to lasting financial and emotional consequences.

While there may be a sum of options to ponder, it is often easier or sometimes necessary to sell the family property to fund the purchase of two properties instead. Selling the home and splitting the proceeds is often the simplest solution, especially if both parties prefer a clean financial break. This option can provide each party with the funds to purchase or rent new homes suited to their needs.

In this situation, it is essential for both parties to consider what is most affordable, taking into account repayment of any mortgage and early redemption fees, purchase price, stamp duty, legal costs, moving fees and any furniture or white goods they will need. If there is an existing mortgage, this can either be redeemed from the net proceeds or one of the individuals, if you need it, may be able to port the existing mortgage to a new property if there are any preferential rates to benefit from.

The place that holds a piece of your heart

Selling the home may not always be the desired approach and often one partner may wish to stay in the property. If this is a viable option financially, it can provide stability, particularly if there are health considerations or a desire to remain in a familiar community. However, retaining the home requires careful consideration of whether one partner can sustain the home’s upkeep and associated costs independently.

If one partner wishes to retain the family home, they may be able to offset the home’s value with other assets. For instance, one partner may keep the house while the other retains a larger share of cash, investments, or pensions. Although pensions are a significant marital asset, they are often overlooked during separation negotiations. Offsetting the value of the family home against pension assets can be a viable solution, but due to the complexity of these calculations, legal and financial guidance should always be sought.

Another approach for staying in the home is to refinance or increase the mortgage to buy out the other party’s share. In this scenario, the partner who remains in the home would need to assume full responsibility for the property’s costs and may have to qualify for a new or adjusted mortgage. The buy-out process typically involves transferring the property into the sole name of the individual staying in the home, which a solicitor would handle to ensure the contemporaneous transfer and payment of funds. High street lenders have amended their borrowing criteria so that mortgages can be taken later in life, but this will still be dependent on affordability and specialist mortgage advice may be required.

Together apart with joint ownership

For some, continuing to co-own the family home while one partner lives there may be a practical solution, particularly if both parties expect a rise in the property’s value or wish to avoid selling in a perhaps down market. However, delayed interest payment involves several complexities.

Setting a “trigger event” for when the other party will receive their share is essential. This could be a specific future date, the sale of the home, mortgage redemption, or even the passing of one party. Legal advice is vital in these situations, as both parties may need to prepare updated wills or trusts to address inheritance or transfer issues.

Delaying the transfer or sale can additionally lead to tax complications, particularly if one partner receives their share at a future date, which may affect capital gains tax.

Finally, if both parties remain on the mortgage but only one stays in the home, the partner who leaves may have limited borrowing capacity for a new mortgage, affecting their ability to purchase their own property.

Mapping the road ahead

Given that later-life divorces often come just before or during retirement, careful planning around long-term financial security is vital. In addition to decisions about the family home, separating couples should closely review pensions, savings, business assets and other retirement funds to ensure both parties are financially secure. Professional advice is crucial in navigating these challenges to avoid pitfalls that could impact future stability.

Fresh starts in later life

As the rise in grey divorce reshapes societal views on marriage, independence, and retirement, it highlights the evolving needs and priorities of later-life couples. Navigating these unique challenges, particularly decisions surrounding the family home, pensions, and savings, can be complex.

With the right guidance, couples can move forward confidently, ensuring they make informed choices that support their future. Family lawyers assisting those who are facing a divorce, with all the challenges that brings, are there to tune in to what clients are experiencing and ensure matters are handled sensitively; while similarly ensuring they give clear, pragmatic advice to help put their client in the best position to recover from the stress and cost that comes with separation.

Read more articles by Roythornes Solicitors.

About Hayley McCormack

Hayley is a partner at Roythornes Solicitors. She has been practising family law for nearly 20 years having worked for a number of top tier national firms. Hayley has extensive experience in dealing with a broad range of family issues, such as divorce, financial settlements, and issues relating to children. She has particular expertise in complex financial cases involving company and trust structures, pensions, offshore assets, and intervenors, often advising business owners, farming families, entrepreneurs, and professionals.
She collaborates with clients’ advisors to provide wealth protection solutions, including pre/post-marital and cohabitation agreements aligned with company and shareholder agreements.
A trained collaborative lawyer, Hayley offers clear, pragmatic advice tailored to achieve the best outcomes for clients and their families. While skilled in robust litigation, she prioritises cooperative, non-confrontational solutions for family disputes.
Recognised by Chambers and Legal 500, her expertise includes:
  • Divorce
  • Financial settlements
  • Pre/post-nuptial agreements
  • Cohabitation issues and agreements
  • Child-related matters, including international/domestic relocation
  • Trusts and inherited wealth
  • Pre-marriage and post-separation acquired wealth

About Roythornes Solicitors

Roythornes Solicitors is a top 150 national law firm with five strategically located offices across the Midlands and East Anglia. The firm adopts a one team ethos across all offices, with trusted advice being given by its recognised experts on a national spread. It prides itself on building longstanding relationships with clients with a high emphasis on personal connectivity. The firm’s clients include major blue-chip companies, family businesses and private individuals, based nationally and internationally.

Each client benefits from the company’s partner-led, practical approach. As well as a powerful breadth and depth of legal expertise, the team brings commercial know-how and invaluable lateral thinking to each case, drawing on a diverse range of skills and contacts.

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Divorce – It’s a Balance Between the Emotional Stress, the Cost and the Return!
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Divorce – It’s a Balance Between the Emotional Stress, the Cost and the Return!

Published on
Peter Marples
Peter Marples
Editor at The Divorce Magazine
Director at Fair Result

Many of you know I was the founder of a progressive family law practice Fair Result with my business partner Christopher Sweetman.

The practice is not apologetic that we are a challenger brand but in the past 4 years we have become a major practice in England, with unique partnerships including the Professional Footballers Association and winning countless awards, both in the UK and Internationally.

Whist a number of our clients could be seen to be ‘wealthy’, by no means all of them – indeed 75% of them are not in this category.

We have a wide spread profile of clients, representing the whole of society and we will often take on a client who has no money to fight their divorce in terms of fees. This is exactly the reason we set up the practice.

As a non-lawyer, it never ceases to amaze me how ruthless lawyers are when it comes to their fees. I was brought up to focus on my clients and the returns would ultimately follow, not think of myself first and that customers are way down the line of those we should be focussed on.

In the past four years, I have witnessed opposing clients dropped by lawyers because they can’t see a future income stream, that client engagements are paused because lawyers don’t have visibility of their fees over the next few months and a total destain for client’s emotions and challenges.

Don’t get me wrong, we need to be paid for what we do. We aren’t a charity, but there does come a point at which clients should be respected for what they are ‘those that pay the wages and the overheads’.

We set up Fair-Result to do exactly that, client first! We do have challenges with clients paying but this is always at the end of a process, and we share the risk in that as the process progresses.

There is never a week goes by in our business where we receive a call from someone that we spoke to over 2 years ago. A call which starts in the normal way. ‘Hi, its… remember me’ followed by our response that is ‘Yes, how are things’. The same line always follows – the fact that frankly nothing has progressed in the previous two years, they have spent some money, but not a lot and are now in a place where they simply don’t know what to do, and their legal advisors are not offering much in the way of solutions.

Nothing surprises us anymore.

However, in the past three weeks alone, we have received at least five calls such as this, one with £m’s in the marital pot, another with a not inconsiderable number of rental properties and a third instance where the wife (our potential client) is starved of cash and assets, despite there being considerable funds to distribute, in the form of Public Sector pensions, a marital home and some limited investments.

During my own divorce, I used to call my former wife ‘penny wise and pound foolish’. She would argue about the pennies but forget about the substance of the whole pot we were arguing about and spend endless thousands with her lawyers arguing about where I had taken the latest EasyJet flight too.

So, what is the purpose of this article? Quite simply it is to present a position that when undergoing a divorce, you are balancing up three key things:

  • Your emotions
  • The cost
  • The reward or result in terms of financials and in many cases the impact on the children.

So, if you are arguing about £50,000 or £5m the principle is the same.

You have to invest to get the result you want, or you will one of those people calling us up after two years having got nowhere.

But I hear you say, I don’t have the cash? To fight them.

Well, that is where Fair Result comes in. The ONLY fixed fee financial divorce settlement business in the UK. And guess what, you pay nothing until the financial agreement has been signed by both parties, whether it takes us 2 months or 2 years to finalise.

We share the risk with you, our aim is to minimise the emotional stress but above all it is to get you exactly what you are entitled too.

So, stop plodding on for two years, when you know you won’t get anywhere, spending £500 here and there when that is all you can afford, getting more and more wound up about your spouse’s behaviour and spending habits.

Get it closed off, sorted out and you too can move on both emotionally and financially.

As we get older, we begin to realise that life is short, the years clock off quicker than you want them too. Why spend 2 years getting nowhere when you can contact the Fair Result team, and it will cost you nothing until your divorce is sorted – absolutely nothing.

Contact Peter at peter@fair-result.co.uk 24/7 and you will be guaranteed of a response within 30 minutes. A fixed fee, set from the outset and nothing to pay until your divorce is settled.

If you can get a better offer than this contact us and we will do your divorce for absolutely nothing, irrespective of its complexity – GUARANTEED!

Read more articles by Peter Marples.

About Peter Marples

Peter Marples – Director of Fair Result and qualified accountant, with the determination to change the way divorce is transacted. For further advice on financial settlements and navigating divorce, use the contact details below:

  • Email
  • Give the team a call – 07500933818 or 0333 577 7009
  • Complete an enquiry form

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Preparing for Divorce – A Guide to Gathering the Right Paperwork
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Preparing for Divorce – A Guide to Gathering the Right Paperwork

Published on
Chris Sweetman
Chris Sweetman
Editor at The Divorce Magazine
Director at Fair Result

Preparing for a divorce can be an overwhelming process – especially when it comes to gathering the necessary paperwork. This guide will help you understand what documents you need and how to organise them effectively.

By being well-prepared, you can streamline the divorce process and potentially save time and money.

Having all your documents in order also gives you a clearer picture of your situation, which can be invaluable when making important decisions.

Financial Documents

Start by collecting all relevant financial documents. Having a clear picture of your financial situation is crucial for fair asset division and potential spousal maintenance calculations. Also, it’s important to be mindful of hidden assets. These typically include:

  • Bank statements for the past 12 months
  • Credit card statements
  • Mortgage documents or rental agreements
  • Payslips and P60 forms
  • Tax returns for the past three years
  • Pension statements
  • Investment account statements
  • Documentation of any debts or loans

Property and Asset Information

Gather documents related to your property and assets. These documents will help determine the total value of your marital assets for equitable distribution.

  • House deeds or lease agreements
  • Vehicle registration documents
  • Valuations of high-value items (e.g., jewellery, art, antiques)
  • Business ownership documents, if applicable

Personal Identification Documents

Ensure you have copies of essential personal documents. These documents may be required for various legal procedures during the divorce process.

  • Birth certificates for you and any children
  • Marriage certificate
  • Passport
  • Driving licence

Child-Related Documents

If you have children, collect the relevant paperwork. This information will be vital if child arrangements need to be determined as part of the divorce proceedings.

  • School records
  • Medical records
  • Child benefit information
  • Any existing custody or visitation agreements

Other Legal Documents

Gather any existing legal documents that may be relevant. These documents can significantly impact the divorce proceedings and outcomes.

  • Prenuptial or postnuptial agreements
  • Previous court orders or judgments
  • Separation agreements
  • Wills or trusts

Organising Your Paperwork

Once you’ve gathered all the necessary documents, it’s time to organise them effectively. Create a filing system, either physical or digital, that works for you. This might involve using folders, binders, or cloud storage solutions.

Make copies of all important papers. Keep one set for yourself and prepare another for your solicitor.

Store the originals in a secure location, such as a safe deposit box or a locked filing cabinet at home.

Consider using a spreadsheet to track and summarise financial information. This can be particularly helpful for complex financial situations.

Being organised will help you and your solicitor navigate the divorce process more efficiently. It can also reduce stress by giving you a sense of control over the situation.

Final Thoughts

Gathering the right paperwork for your divorce may seem daunting, but it’s a crucial step in ensuring a fair and smooth process. Following this guide and consulting with your solicitor will prepare you to move forward with your divorce proceedings.

Remember, thorough preparation can lead to better outcomes and potentially reduce the stress and duration of the divorce process.

While collecting and organising all these documents may take time and effort – doing so will ultimately serve you well as you navigate this challenging life transition.

If you’re unsure about any aspect of document gathering, don’t hesitate to seek advice from your solicitor. They can provide guidance specific to your situation and ensure you haven’t overlooked any crucial paperwork.

Read more articles by Fair Result.

Read more articles by Chris Sweetman.

About Chris Sweetman

Chris Sweetman is an independent family solicitor and director of Fair Result – An award-winning law office who pride themselves on using innovative ways to help clients through the stress and complications of a marriage breakdown.

Chris can be contacted on 07500933818 or via email chris@fair-result.co.uk.

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A Guide for Parents - Devising a Co-Parenting Plan Before Getting a Divorce
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A Guide for Parents – Devising a Co-Parenting Plan Before Getting a Divorce

Published on
Chris Sweetman
Chris Sweetman
Editor at The Divorce Magazine
Director at Fair Result

Going through a divorce can be emotionally and logistically challenging, especially for parents with children. While the decision to end a marriage may be difficult, it’s crucial to prioritise the well-being of the children throughout the process. One of the most important steps in this regard is devising a comprehensive co-parenting plan before finalising the divorce.

A well-crafted co-parenting plan not only sets the tone for a healthy co-parenting relationship post-divorce but also ensures that both parents remain actively involved in their children’s lives. It provides a framework for effective communication, decision-making, and conflict resolution, ultimately minimising the impact of the divorce on the children.

By establishing clear guidelines and expectations from the outset, parents can foster a cooperative and supportive environment for their children, helping them navigate this transitional period with greater ease and stability.

Understanding the Concept of Co-Parenting

Co-parenting refers to the process of raising children collaboratively after a separation or divorce. It involves both parents actively participating in decision-making, sharing responsibilities, and maintaining a healthy relationship for the well-being of their children.

Successful co-parenting requires a commitment to putting aside personal differences and focusing on the children’s best interests. Key principles of effective co-parenting include:

  • Open and respectful communication
  • Consistency in parenting styles and rules
  • Flexibility and compromise
  • Avoiding conflict in front of the children
  • Maintaining a united front when addressing children’s needs and concerns

While co-parenting can be challenging, especially in the aftermath of a divorce, both parents need to work together and prioritise their children’s emotional and developmental needs. This often involves setting aside personal grievances and cultivating a cooperative and supportive dynamic.

Establishing a Parenting Schedule

One of the most crucial components of a co-parenting plan is establishing a fair and consistent parenting schedule. This schedule should outline the custody arrangements and visitation schedules, ensuring that both parents have ample time to be actively involved in their children’s lives.

When determining custody arrangements, parents can choose from various options, including:

  • Joint custody: Both parents share legal custody and decision-making responsibilities for the children.
  • Sole custody: One parent has primary legal and physical custody, while the other parent has visitation rights.
  • Shared physical custody: Children spend a significant amount of time living with each parent.

The parenting schedule should consider factors such as work schedules, children’s extracurricular activities, and living arrangements. It’s essential to create a schedule that minimises disruptions to the children’s routines and provides stability.

To ensure a smooth transition, the schedule should clearly outline the pickup and drop-off times, as well as any special arrangements for holidays, vacations, and other important events.

Handling Decisions Related to Children

In addition to establishing a parenting schedule, a co-parenting plan should outline how major decisions concerning the children will be made. These decisions may include matters related to education, healthcare, religion, and extracurricular activities.

It’s crucial to establish clear guidelines for communication and conflict resolution when making these decisions. Parents should agree on a process for discussing and resolving any disagreements that may arise, such as seeking the assistance of a mediator or counsellor if necessary.

The co-parenting plan should also address potential changes in circumstances, such as relocation, remarriage, or adjustments in financial situations. Having a framework in place for addressing these changes can help minimise conflicts and ensure that the children’s best interests remain the top priority.

Managing Finances and Child Support

Financial considerations are an essential part of a co-parenting plan, particularly when it comes to child support and shared expenses for the children’s needs.

The plan should clearly outline the child support obligations and payment arrangements – taking into account factors such as each parent’s income, the number of children, and any relevant legal guidelines or agreements.

In addition to child support, the co-parenting plan should address how expenses related to the children’s needs, such as clothing, extracurricular activities, educational costs, and medical expenses, will be divided between the parents. Establishing a fair and equitable system for sharing these costs can help prevent future conflicts and ensure that the children’s needs are met.

It’s also important to review any potential tax implications and benefits related to child support and shared expenses. Consulting with financial advisors or legal professionals can provide valuable guidance in navigating around financial assets.

Maintaining Healthy Boundaries

While co-parenting requires open communication and cooperation, it’s equally important to maintain healthy boundaries between the former spouses. The co-parenting plan should establish clear guidelines for interactions and communication, ensuring that each parent respects the other’s personal space and privacy.

One critical aspect is avoiding exposing children to parental conflicts or using them as messengers or go-betweens. Children should not be burdened with adult issues or placed in the middle of disagreements between their parents.

It’s also important to respect each other’s personal lives and relationships. The co-parenting plan should outline boundaries regarding introductions to new partners, attending events together, and maintaining appropriate behaviour in front of the children.

By establishing and adhering to these boundaries, parents can create a more harmonious and supportive environment for their children, minimising the potential for further emotional turmoil or confusion.

Involving Children in the Process

While devising a co-parenting plan, it’s essential to involve the children in an age-appropriate manner. This not only helps them understand the changes occurring in their family dynamic but also provides an opportunity for them to voice their concerns and fears.

Open communication with children is crucial throughout the process. Parents should strive to explain the situation in a clear and reassuring manner, emphasising that the divorce is not their fault and that both parents will continue to love and support them.

Depending on the children’s ages, parents can consider involving them in discussions about certain aspects of the co-parenting plan, such as visitation schedules or living arrangements. This can help children feel heard and respected – ultimately easing their transition into the new family dynamic.

It’s also important to encourage children to express their feelings and concerns openly. Parents should be prepared to actively listen and address any worries or questions that may arise, seeking professional counselling if necessary.

By involving children in the process and fostering open communication, parents can help mitigate the potential emotional and psychological impacts of divorce – promoting a smoother transition for the entire family.

Final Thoughts

Devising a comprehensive co-parenting plan before finalising a divorce is essential for parents committed to prioritising the well-being of their children. By establishing clear guidelines for custody arrangements, decision-making processes, financial responsibilities, and communication, parents can create a supportive and stable environment for their children during this transitional period.

While co-parenting can be challenging, it is vital for both parents to put aside personal differences and cultivate a cooperative dynamic. Seeking professional assistance from mediators, counsellors, or legal professionals can provide valuable guidance and support throughout the process.

Ultimately, a well-crafted co-parenting plan serves as a foundation for a healthy and nurturing relationship between parents and children, helping to minimise the potential negative impacts of divorce and fostering a more positive and harmonious future for the entire family.

Read more articles by Chris Sweetman.

About Chris Sweetman

Chris Sweetman is an independent family solicitor and director of Fair Result – An award-winning law office who pride themselves on using innovative ways to help clients through the stress and complications of a marriage break down.

Chris can be contacted on 07500933818 or via email chris@fair-result.co.uk.

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Pre Action-Protocol Encourages The Use Of “One Couple One Lawyer”

Published on
Chris Sweetman
Chris Sweetman
Editor at The Divorce Magazine
Director at Fair Result

A pre-application protocol in family law financial remedy proceedings was published last week and it provides a very useful guide to the changes which the family courts will expect in family financial resolution proceedings.

The goal of the new family law protocol

The protocol sets out the main key steps every court will expect divorcing couples to take in relation to non-court dispute resolution (NCDR)

That is resolving the dispute other than through the court process and certainly making every attempt to resolve proceedings without ever having to start court proceedings the new protocol once again underlines the ever-present duty to make full honest disclosure and everybody involved in the proceedings will be required to comply with the terms of the new protocol even if they have not had professional legal advice.

The non-court dispute resolution process still recognises that full robust honest and transparent disclosure is an absolute prerequisite for both parties and it confirms that the use of the form E is still the best way for parties to exchange information.

In essence, both parties will still complete a form E even in the one couple one lawyer future world of financial divorce resolution.

Divorcing couples who obtain legal advice via the one couple one lawyer scheme can demonstrate that they have tried a constructive attempt to avoid contentious and costly court litigation by demonstrating that they have used the scheme in the first instance. Hopefully with sense and goodwill on both sides, many of the cases that lawyers once fought in and forced into court will no longer be necessary. But if it does become inevitable trying the one couple one lawyer approach in the first instance may protect you in relation to court costs moving forward.

The focus of this new approach is to move on to the process of resolving the financial dispute in an efficient and timely way and hopefully avoid the emotional toll on couples of the adversarial court approach. The guide goes on to stress that the one couple one lawyer approach should be conducted with minimum distress to the parties and in a manner designed to promote as good a continuing relationship between the parties and any children affected as possible in the circumstances.

The new approach also demonstrates the rising concern judges have expressed for a number of years now on the hugely escalating and disproportionate legal fees that have been shown to be on the increase year after year. It is simply not acceptable in our opinion nor in the opinion of the authors of the new protocol for the fees to be so disproportionate to the overall financial value of the subject matter of the dispute. Proportionality must always be taken into consideration and looking at the guide if the resolution is not achieved and court litigation is required the court will take into account when considering and if so to what extent to make an order for one party to pay the cost of the other party if they have been overly aggressive or litigious in their approach in the first instance.

Read more articles by Chris Sweetman.

About Chris Sweetman

Chris Sweetman is an independent family solicitor and director of Fair Result – An award-winning law office who pride themselves on using innovative ways to help clients through the stress and complications of a marriage break down.

Chris can be contacted on 07500933818 or via email chris@fair-result.co.uk.

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Clients deserve quality and transparency: why unregulated firms need to be stopped.
Photo by Sergey Zolkin on Unsplash.
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Clients Deserve Quality & Transparency: Why Unregulated Firms Need to be Stopped

Published on
Nicki Mitchell
Nicki Mitchell
Partner
Jones Myers

I welcome the news that The Competition and Markets Authority (CMA) is to investigate claims of people being misled about the process and prices of divorces and wills by online firms.

The enquiry into the growing number of online services – many of which are unregulated and include  those offering divorce – comes after a raft of complaints from consumers who were unclear about what help they would receive -and exactly what they were paying for.

Their grievances included ‘inadequate quality’ with incorrect forms being used and papers being sent to court late.

Delivering a quality service and being open about the costs and level of support involved is always vital, particularly in these sensitive and often stressful areas.

When they see the word “divorce,” most couples understand that to mean not only the process of dissolving the marriage or civil partnership – but getting a financial settlement and resolving any issues around children too.

My experience is that the fixed fee quoted online by some organisations just brings the relationship to a formal legal end – something which divorcing couples can do relatively easily themselves online. This process does not take much time and the only cost involved is the £593 court fee.

When working with established family lawyers like us, aside from the court fee, there is often a minimal or even no charge for dealing with the online divorce process when we are instructed to advise on the financial implications.

Some firms also quote a fee for drafting an order to formalise an agreed financial settlement which can be helpful in some cases.  However, most separating couples have no real idea what their financial options on divorce are.

There is a common perception/misconception that everything is always split down the middle, but this is not necessarily the case.

The law requires there to be a settlement which is “fair in all the circumstances,” with first consideration being given to the needs of any children. A 50:50 split is not always “fair.”

The only way to understand what a court is likely to consider acceptable in your particular circumstances is to take advice from an experienced family lawyer.

There is a cost but, in most cases, you get what you pay for – a quality service from qualified family lawyers whose firms are regulated and transparent.

As part of the CMA investigation, consumers and others who would like to contact the CMA about their experiences with online services and regulated firms are asked to contact the watchdog by September 4 on this website.

If the watchdog’s investigation determines that organisations have violated consumer laws, those found wanting could be subject to a court order.

I sincerely hope the outcome will act as a deterrent to prevent more people falling prey at a time when they are at their lowest and most vulnerable.

For progressing divorces online, the Government website is a helpful source of advice.

Read more articles by Nicki Mitchell.

About Nicki Mitchell

Nicki is a partner at Jones Myers Family Law Solicitors. With extensive experience in family law, Nicki specialises in the financial aspects of relationship breakdown – and particularly complex cases involving family businesses, multiple properties, and complicated pension arrangements.

Skilled in mediation and collaborative family lawyer, Nicki is also a Child Inclusive Mediator which enables her to meet with children of separated parents and hear what they want for their future.

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about divorce lawyers

The Thing about Divorce Lawyers all Over

Published on

Is it just me or are family lawyers becoming progressively aware of the real impact they have on separating parents and their children?

I often say that family solicitors are the first emergency service when it comes to divorce and separation.

Since launching The Divorce Magazine, I have noticed how an increasing number of solicitors are submitting content that leans towards encouraging parents to think about their children as they go through the divorce process and do the right thing by them.

More recently, I have met solicitors who have taken up counselling courses with the sole purpose of acquiring softer skills which they believe will not only make them more aware of the emotions that their clients are going through, but they will also obtain knowledge and skills on how to manage and work with these powerful emotions.

When I went through my divorce, I experienced the “not-very-nice” solicitor and the “very-happy-to-recommend-anytime” solicitor.

All what the first solicitor wanted was blood and money.  My wishes and wants didn’t matter so much unless they involved some sort of conflict.  I can tell you, that this firm could extract and generate conflict in Utopia if necessary!  They wouldn’t even need an army to do so.

After just a couple of very uncomfortable meetings with this firm, which left me feeling so emotionally, physically and mentally drained, I decided to move on.

The tactic that this new firm employed, was gentle yet firm and assertive!  They never once fanned the flames of my anger and resentment.  They listened as I spoke about how horrible I thought I my ex had been but focused on what was important, the divorce and my daughter.

If I suggested going down a route that was only going to cause more aggravation to the already volatile situation, they would not only discourage me from doing so, but they would come up with a different solution to the same problem that would be less confrontational.

This new movement by family lawyers towards people awareness, as slow as it is, will definitely, definitely play a role in how families living separately turn out.  This then means that there will be children out there whose lives will be less affected by the outcome because their parents’ solicitor treated them more like people going through a major change in their lives than a case number that will help finance their lifestyle.

Family solicitors should be the voice of the child not in the room; the people whom, in the midst of heavy bombardment of adverse words and actions, the children can indirectly rely upon to make sure that despite their parents’ war, someone is looking out for them and wants to make sure they will continue to see both parents and that they will not be used as pawns in this life-changing game.

As Ben Lawson so aptly puts it, “For that reason, amongst others, it is incredibly important that we are able to offer honest and practical advice to clients, giving consideration not only to what our client wants, but also pointing out that what they decide will inevitably impact on their children.”

About Soila

Soila is a Parenting Therapist, accredited Triple P practitioner, Certified Trauma Specialist and trained Family Mediator.  She works in private practice mainly, but not exclusively, with families going through divorce and separation.

Soila is the founder of The Davis Centre and The Divorce Magazine.

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high stakes - divorce story

Choosing your Divorce Lawyer or Family Mediator

Published on
Women and Divorce
Wendi Schuller
Author of
The Global Guide to Divorce

There are several ways of finding the right solicitor or mediator for your divorce.

If you know someone in any area of the legal field, ask them whom they would personally select.

Another way is to query people that you value in the professional world who they would get for a divorce. That is how I found my solicitor when needing one in a hurry for my divorce. A man that I regularly did business with insisted that only one solicitor would do. I respected his opinion and this particular name came up again and again so that was who I hired to represent me in my divorce proceedings.

There is a lot to be said for word-of mouth recommendations.  You hear about both the good family solicitors/ family mediators and the less stellar ones who bump up legal fees.

Information at the school gates can be valuable. Many of these parents have been through a divorce or know someone who has and can give some advice on this subject.

One mum at my son’s school warned me that my solicitor was like a pit bull – aggressive and occasionally bit its owner. This sage advice made my relationship easier with her, particularly when she was blunt or did not agree with me on some points.

Go online and see who is rated highly in Family Law and has won some professional awards.

If you have heard good things about certain law firms – see if they also do divorces. They want to maintain their esteemed reputations so will hire the brightest in their fields.

Choosing your divorce lawyer
Choosing your Divorce Lawyer

An online search for local listings gives one a beginning point. Go to the individuals’ web sites and also check out their law firms’ ones. See which ones are more appealing and follow up on those. This is also a way to see who is not, and avoid putting those names on your list.

Look at recommendations and low ratings online. Keep in mind a mediator or solicitor may have had 2000 clients who were ecstatically happy with them and their results. The one disgruntled former client may be the only person who submits a rating online, which may make that legal professional erroneously appear less effective.

There are some great divorce package deals online and that makes it easier to see who fits best for your budget.

Top law firms also participate in naming a specific price for various types of divorces. Some of the categories include: uncontested (when both parties agree on getting divorced), contested ones where one person may not want a divorce or has some other issue. The package may be for couples without children. The packages vary per law firm. If you are narrowing down solicitors, see of any advertise a packaged deal. If you really like someone, you can ask if they do any, if none are listed on the web site.

A divorce package has services bundled together for a certain price. If the divorce becomes quite complicated, then other ones may be added ala carte.

Many law firms offer a free initial consultation for a specified amount of time. This is a great way to see whom you click with and would be comfortable sharing your personal information.

It is easier having a face-to-face meeting with a few solicitors or mediators to get a sense if you two are a good match. Some law firms specialize in certain types of clients. If you are a high net-worth client, see who has been in the news lately for getting huge settlements for their clients. Some men may prefer going to a law firm that only accepts male clients for divorce.

Determine if you want to go the mediation route or if you want a solicitor. There are many articles in The Divorce Magazine that explain the differences and singularities to help you decide which one to choose.

Also determine if you want a collaborative divorce, where the solicitors work together in the process, or if you want to go to court. What you decide for the type of divorce process you desire, determines which legal professional that you will hire.

More and more family law solicitors are becoming certified as divorce mediators. If you are on the fence regarding which type of divorce you would like, consider this option. Select a divorce professional that is both a solicitor and mediator. They can go over collaborative vs mediation and work with you in deciding which way to go with your divorce.

 

CLICK HERE FOR MORE ARTICLES BY WENDI SCHULLER

ABOUT WENDI

Wendi Schuller is a nurse, hypnotherapist and is certified in Neuro-linguistic Programing (NLP).

Her most recent book is The Global Guide to Divorce and she has over 200 published articles.

She is a guest on radio programs in the US and UK. Her website is globalguidetodivorce.com.

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Your First Meeting with your Divorce Lawyer

Published on
Women and Divorce
Wendi Schuller
Author of
The Global Guide to Divorce

Getting records together for your new divorce solicitor or mediator is a first step in the divorce process.

Sometimes one’s financial state seems to be a jumble of loans and assets and the solicitor will have to get a general idea of the situation.

A financial advisor may be called in to sort out the records and give the solicitors an idea of the assets involved in the case.

Do your part by getting copies of bank statements, loan papers, taxes and whatever else you can lay your hands on to get the ball rolling with your divorce.

Your solicitor or mediator may give you a list of what is needed for your initial encounter. The following information will get you started on what data to bring with you.

The best advice is to bring everything to your first meeting with your divorce lawyer including:

  • Financial records include taxes paid, both personal and business.
  • All loans, including student ones are needed. Did either set of parents loan money for example, as a house down payment or for a credit card bill?
  • The amount of your rent or mortgage (plus balance owed on the mortgage).
  • Do either of you pay anything for children from previous relationships?
  • List all bank accounts/investments/pension plans with their account numbers and balances. Do either of you have any automatic deductions withdrawn from pay checks? Jot down any stocks, bonds, or mutual funds. Do either of your work places contribute to investments or retirement plans?
  • Could there be an off shore account or does some money appear to be missing?

divorce advice ukNext, think about some other assets that you have either jointly or individually. List assets with approximate net worth:

  • Vehicles with model and year
  • Value of property including marital home. Mention any bolt holes and holiday homes, including timeshares
  • Art and any big ticket items

Jewellery and gifts may be exempt from this list, but check with your solicitor.

The next part is for giving background information to the various divorce professionals and may be helpful in considering shared care, and in determining maintenance.  Our custody evaluator also wanted a copy of this report and I may have gotten physical custody partially as a result.  A Cafcass officer may ask for it too.

  • Write up the history of your marriage with the highlights. Was there any type of abuse? Do the spouses or children have any chronic illnesses, drug or alcohol usage, or a police record?
  • Did either spouse have affairs? Was there any neglect?
  • Is a child a special needs one, who requires much specialized care?
  • Is anyone in ongoing therapy?
  • What is both of your recent work histories? Did one spouse leave a lucrative career to stay home to raise the kids? That spouse may need training/education to get back in the workforce.

Think about what expenses you and the children have which may affect maintenance and child support payments. This list also indicates your standard of living or life style, so be sure to include travelling and personal upkeep costs.

  • List children’s expenses such as tuition, tutoring, activities, sports, camps, class trips, clothing and general expenditures.
  • What do you spend on weekly groceries, eating out, entertainment and various activities?
  • List all memberships, club or organization fees, charity donations, subscriptions and any incidentals.
  • List payments for utilities, internet, phone, TV and routine bills.
  • Do you have any job expenses such as transportation, uniforms or anything else?

The point is to mention all expenses and to have your solicitor understand your complete financial picture.  The marital history can affect the distribution of assets or visitation schedule, particularly if abuse was present.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE ARTICLES BY WENDI SCHULLER

ABOUT WENDI

Wendi Schuller is a nurse, hypnotherapist and is certified in Neuro-linguistic Programing (NLP).

Her most recent book is The Global Guide to Divorce and she has over 200 published articles.

She is a guest on radio programs in the US and UK. Her website is globalguidetodivorce.com.

 

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children of divorce
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Family Solicitors, their Clients and Children of Divorce

Published on
Ben Lawson
Ben Lawson
Family Law Associate with Flint Bishop

I was prompted to write this brief article after reading an interesting piece by Sue Atkins on how to help your children deal with boy band One Direction splitting up.

Whilst I care little for One Direction’s decision to separate, it did make me think about the role of a Family Solicitor instructed following a marriage or relationship breakdown, and more so the importance of sound advice when there are children involved.

Whilst we must adhere to our client’s instructions, in such an emotive area of law, we must be able to assess and advise on the impact of separation on the client’s circumstances, but also the impact on their children.

Sue’s article made me think about how fragile a child’s emotions can be and how important it is to make sure they do not lose trust in their parents.

I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve heard clients berate their ex in the ‘heat of the moment’ or shortly after separation, when emotions are still high and the effects of the relationship breakdown are still being felt.

However, this makes the role of a Family Solicitor crucial, not only for our clients, but for the children.

As a member of Resolution (an organisation committed to a constructive, non-confrontational approach to family law matters), I subscribe to the Code of Guidance, which amongst other things, states that children matters should be kept separate from divorce/relationship breakdown and financial matters.

siblings and divorce
Our role as Family Solicitors is crucial, not only for our clients, but for the children.

This is hugely important, but we must bear in mind that our advice in relation to how a client should deal with the divorce or relationship breakdown, or what a fair financial settlement is, will inevitably impact the children.

For example, if a parent wishes to deal with separation in a bullying or confrontational way, this will obviously cause further tension between parents which may spill out in front of the children in an argument.

Will the child be affected by seeing their parents arguing; or hearing them blame each other for where they are or who caused the relationship to breakdown?

Finding an amicable and fair way through the myriad of issues created when parents separate is not easy but it is essential.

If, as Family Solicitors, we are not advising our clients to try and maintain at the very least a working parental relationship, the impact on the children may be felt both in the immediate aftermath of separation and throughout their lives; at birthday parties, school assemblies and graduations.

What will the impact be on a child if only one of their parents attends? Will this cause a child to lose some of their respect and trust for one or both of their parents? More importantly, is it a risk worth taking?

I am sure that you will  agree that it is not a risk worth taking. For that reason, amongst others, it is incredibly important that we are able to offer honest and practical advice to clients, giving consideration not only to what our client wants, but also pointing out that what they decide will inevitably impact on their children.

The consequences of separation and how this is dealt with, however unintended, can have detrimental impacts on children ranging from low self-esteem, parental mistrust or alienation.

As a Family Solicitor, the impact on the children must be considered when giving legal advice.

The best advice that I can offer is to take a step back. We have all been guilty of making a rash decision when angry or annoyed and often regret it shortly after.

As a Family Solicitor, it is important to maintain a calm approach and look to resolve the matter without getting your client embroiled in arguments or issues, which can be avoided. Unfortunately, there may be no way of undoing the damage caused to a child’s relationship with their parent if you do not maintain such an approach.

If you have any further questions or wish to discuss anything in this article, please do not hesitate to contact me on 01332 226185.

Ben Lawson is a  Family Law Associate Solicitor with Flint Bishop and chair of the Derby Junior Lawyers and an active member of the Derby and District Law Society Social Committee. 

He is also a Resolution member and mentor students studying law at the University of Derby.

In 2015 Ben was nominated for ‘Family Law Young Solicitor of the Year’.

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