divorce lawyers - Page 4

A Guide for Parents - Devising a Co-Parenting Plan Before Getting a Divorce
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A Guide for Parents – Devising a Co-Parenting Plan Before Getting a Divorce

Published on
Chris Sweetman
Chris Sweetman
Editor at The Divorce Magazine
Director at Fair Result

Going through a divorce can be emotionally and logistically challenging, especially for parents with children. While the decision to end a marriage may be difficult, it’s crucial to prioritise the well-being of the children throughout the process. One of the most important steps in this regard is devising a comprehensive co-parenting plan before finalising the divorce.

A well-crafted co-parenting plan not only sets the tone for a healthy co-parenting relationship post-divorce but also ensures that both parents remain actively involved in their children’s lives. It provides a framework for effective communication, decision-making, and conflict resolution, ultimately minimising the impact of the divorce on the children.

By establishing clear guidelines and expectations from the outset, parents can foster a cooperative and supportive environment for their children, helping them navigate this transitional period with greater ease and stability.

Understanding the Concept of Co-Parenting

Co-parenting refers to the process of raising children collaboratively after a separation or divorce. It involves both parents actively participating in decision-making, sharing responsibilities, and maintaining a healthy relationship for the well-being of their children.

Successful co-parenting requires a commitment to putting aside personal differences and focusing on the children’s best interests. Key principles of effective co-parenting include:

  • Open and respectful communication
  • Consistency in parenting styles and rules
  • Flexibility and compromise
  • Avoiding conflict in front of the children
  • Maintaining a united front when addressing children’s needs and concerns

While co-parenting can be challenging, especially in the aftermath of a divorce, both parents need to work together and prioritise their children’s emotional and developmental needs. This often involves setting aside personal grievances and cultivating a cooperative and supportive dynamic.

Establishing a Parenting Schedule

One of the most crucial components of a co-parenting plan is establishing a fair and consistent parenting schedule. This schedule should outline the custody arrangements and visitation schedules, ensuring that both parents have ample time to be actively involved in their children’s lives.

When determining custody arrangements, parents can choose from various options, including:

  • Joint custody: Both parents share legal custody and decision-making responsibilities for the children.
  • Sole custody: One parent has primary legal and physical custody, while the other parent has visitation rights.
  • Shared physical custody: Children spend a significant amount of time living with each parent.

The parenting schedule should consider factors such as work schedules, children’s extracurricular activities, and living arrangements. It’s essential to create a schedule that minimises disruptions to the children’s routines and provides stability.

To ensure a smooth transition, the schedule should clearly outline the pickup and drop-off times, as well as any special arrangements for holidays, vacations, and other important events.

Handling Decisions Related to Children

In addition to establishing a parenting schedule, a co-parenting plan should outline how major decisions concerning the children will be made. These decisions may include matters related to education, healthcare, religion, and extracurricular activities.

It’s crucial to establish clear guidelines for communication and conflict resolution when making these decisions. Parents should agree on a process for discussing and resolving any disagreements that may arise, such as seeking the assistance of a mediator or counsellor if necessary.

The co-parenting plan should also address potential changes in circumstances, such as relocation, remarriage, or adjustments in financial situations. Having a framework in place for addressing these changes can help minimise conflicts and ensure that the children’s best interests remain the top priority.

Managing Finances and Child Support

Financial considerations are an essential part of a co-parenting plan, particularly when it comes to child support and shared expenses for the children’s needs.

The plan should clearly outline the child support obligations and payment arrangements – taking into account factors such as each parent’s income, the number of children, and any relevant legal guidelines or agreements.

In addition to child support, the co-parenting plan should address how expenses related to the children’s needs, such as clothing, extracurricular activities, educational costs, and medical expenses, will be divided between the parents. Establishing a fair and equitable system for sharing these costs can help prevent future conflicts and ensure that the children’s needs are met.

It’s also important to review any potential tax implications and benefits related to child support and shared expenses. Consulting with financial advisors or legal professionals can provide valuable guidance in navigating around financial assets.

Maintaining Healthy Boundaries

While co-parenting requires open communication and cooperation, it’s equally important to maintain healthy boundaries between the former spouses. The co-parenting plan should establish clear guidelines for interactions and communication, ensuring that each parent respects the other’s personal space and privacy.

One critical aspect is avoiding exposing children to parental conflicts or using them as messengers or go-betweens. Children should not be burdened with adult issues or placed in the middle of disagreements between their parents.

It’s also important to respect each other’s personal lives and relationships. The co-parenting plan should outline boundaries regarding introductions to new partners, attending events together, and maintaining appropriate behaviour in front of the children.

By establishing and adhering to these boundaries, parents can create a more harmonious and supportive environment for their children, minimising the potential for further emotional turmoil or confusion.

Involving Children in the Process

While devising a co-parenting plan, it’s essential to involve the children in an age-appropriate manner. This not only helps them understand the changes occurring in their family dynamic but also provides an opportunity for them to voice their concerns and fears.

Open communication with children is crucial throughout the process. Parents should strive to explain the situation in a clear and reassuring manner, emphasising that the divorce is not their fault and that both parents will continue to love and support them.

Depending on the children’s ages, parents can consider involving them in discussions about certain aspects of the co-parenting plan, such as visitation schedules or living arrangements. This can help children feel heard and respected – ultimately easing their transition into the new family dynamic.

It’s also important to encourage children to express their feelings and concerns openly. Parents should be prepared to actively listen and address any worries or questions that may arise, seeking professional counselling if necessary.

By involving children in the process and fostering open communication, parents can help mitigate the potential emotional and psychological impacts of divorce – promoting a smoother transition for the entire family.

Final Thoughts

Devising a comprehensive co-parenting plan before finalising a divorce is essential for parents committed to prioritising the well-being of their children. By establishing clear guidelines for custody arrangements, decision-making processes, financial responsibilities, and communication, parents can create a supportive and stable environment for their children during this transitional period.

While co-parenting can be challenging, it is vital for both parents to put aside personal differences and cultivate a cooperative dynamic. Seeking professional assistance from mediators, counsellors, or legal professionals can provide valuable guidance and support throughout the process.

Ultimately, a well-crafted co-parenting plan serves as a foundation for a healthy and nurturing relationship between parents and children, helping to minimise the potential negative impacts of divorce and fostering a more positive and harmonious future for the entire family.

Read more articles by Chris Sweetman.

About Chris Sweetman

Chris Sweetman is an independent family solicitor and director of Fair Result – An award-winning law office who pride themselves on using innovative ways to help clients through the stress and complications of a marriage break down.

Chris can be contacted on 07500933818 or via email chris@fair-result.co.uk.

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Pre Action-Protocol Encourages The Use Of “One Couple One Lawyer”

Published on
Chris Sweetman
Chris Sweetman
Editor at The Divorce Magazine
Director at Fair Result

A pre-application protocol in family law financial remedy proceedings was published last week and it provides a very useful guide to the changes which the family courts will expect in family financial resolution proceedings.

The goal of the new family law protocol

The protocol sets out the main key steps every court will expect divorcing couples to take in relation to non-court dispute resolution (NCDR)

That is resolving the dispute other than through the court process and certainly making every attempt to resolve proceedings without ever having to start court proceedings the new protocol once again underlines the ever-present duty to make full honest disclosure and everybody involved in the proceedings will be required to comply with the terms of the new protocol even if they have not had professional legal advice.

The non-court dispute resolution process still recognises that full robust honest and transparent disclosure is an absolute prerequisite for both parties and it confirms that the use of the form E is still the best way for parties to exchange information.

In essence, both parties will still complete a form E even in the one couple one lawyer future world of financial divorce resolution.

Divorcing couples who obtain legal advice via the one couple one lawyer scheme can demonstrate that they have tried a constructive attempt to avoid contentious and costly court litigation by demonstrating that they have used the scheme in the first instance. Hopefully with sense and goodwill on both sides, many of the cases that lawyers once fought in and forced into court will no longer be necessary. But if it does become inevitable trying the one couple one lawyer approach in the first instance may protect you in relation to court costs moving forward.

The focus of this new approach is to move on to the process of resolving the financial dispute in an efficient and timely way and hopefully avoid the emotional toll on couples of the adversarial court approach. The guide goes on to stress that the one couple one lawyer approach should be conducted with minimum distress to the parties and in a manner designed to promote as good a continuing relationship between the parties and any children affected as possible in the circumstances.

The new approach also demonstrates the rising concern judges have expressed for a number of years now on the hugely escalating and disproportionate legal fees that have been shown to be on the increase year after year. It is simply not acceptable in our opinion nor in the opinion of the authors of the new protocol for the fees to be so disproportionate to the overall financial value of the subject matter of the dispute. Proportionality must always be taken into consideration and looking at the guide if the resolution is not achieved and court litigation is required the court will take into account when considering and if so to what extent to make an order for one party to pay the cost of the other party if they have been overly aggressive or litigious in their approach in the first instance.

Read more articles by Chris Sweetman.

About Chris Sweetman

Chris Sweetman is an independent family solicitor and director of Fair Result – An award-winning law office who pride themselves on using innovative ways to help clients through the stress and complications of a marriage break down.

Chris can be contacted on 07500933818 or via email chris@fair-result.co.uk.

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Clients deserve quality and transparency: why unregulated firms need to be stopped.
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Clients Deserve Quality & Transparency: Why Unregulated Firms Need to be Stopped

Published on
Nicki Mitchell
Nicki Mitchell
Partner
Jones Myers

I welcome the news that The Competition and Markets Authority (CMA) is to investigate claims of people being misled about the process and prices of divorces and wills by online firms.

The enquiry into the growing number of online services – many of which are unregulated and include  those offering divorce – comes after a raft of complaints from consumers who were unclear about what help they would receive -and exactly what they were paying for.

Their grievances included ‘inadequate quality’ with incorrect forms being used and papers being sent to court late.

Delivering a quality service and being open about the costs and level of support involved is always vital, particularly in these sensitive and often stressful areas.

When they see the word “divorce,” most couples understand that to mean not only the process of dissolving the marriage or civil partnership – but getting a financial settlement and resolving any issues around children too.

My experience is that the fixed fee quoted online by some organisations just brings the relationship to a formal legal end – something which divorcing couples can do relatively easily themselves online. This process does not take much time and the only cost involved is the £593 court fee.

When working with established family lawyers like us, aside from the court fee, there is often a minimal or even no charge for dealing with the online divorce process when we are instructed to advise on the financial implications.

Some firms also quote a fee for drafting an order to formalise an agreed financial settlement which can be helpful in some cases.  However, most separating couples have no real idea what their financial options on divorce are.

There is a common perception/misconception that everything is always split down the middle, but this is not necessarily the case.

The law requires there to be a settlement which is “fair in all the circumstances,” with first consideration being given to the needs of any children. A 50:50 split is not always “fair.”

The only way to understand what a court is likely to consider acceptable in your particular circumstances is to take advice from an experienced family lawyer.

There is a cost but, in most cases, you get what you pay for – a quality service from qualified family lawyers whose firms are regulated and transparent.

As part of the CMA investigation, consumers and others who would like to contact the CMA about their experiences with online services and regulated firms are asked to contact the watchdog by September 4 on this website.

If the watchdog’s investigation determines that organisations have violated consumer laws, those found wanting could be subject to a court order.

I sincerely hope the outcome will act as a deterrent to prevent more people falling prey at a time when they are at their lowest and most vulnerable.

For progressing divorces online, the Government website is a helpful source of advice.

Read more articles by Nicki Mitchell.

About Nicki Mitchell

Nicki is a partner at Jones Myers Family Law Solicitors. With extensive experience in family law, Nicki specialises in the financial aspects of relationship breakdown – and particularly complex cases involving family businesses, multiple properties, and complicated pension arrangements.

Skilled in mediation and collaborative family lawyer, Nicki is also a Child Inclusive Mediator which enables her to meet with children of separated parents and hear what they want for their future.

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about divorce lawyers

The Thing about Divorce Lawyers all Over

Published on

Is it just me or are family lawyers becoming progressively aware of the real impact they have on separating parents and their children?

I often say that family solicitors are the first emergency service when it comes to divorce and separation.

Since launching The Divorce Magazine, I have noticed how an increasing number of solicitors are submitting content that leans towards encouraging parents to think about their children as they go through the divorce process and do the right thing by them.

More recently, I have met solicitors who have taken up counselling courses with the sole purpose of acquiring softer skills which they believe will not only make them more aware of the emotions that their clients are going through, but they will also obtain knowledge and skills on how to manage and work with these powerful emotions.

When I went through my divorce, I experienced the “not-very-nice” solicitor and the “very-happy-to-recommend-anytime” solicitor.

All what the first solicitor wanted was blood and money.  My wishes and wants didn’t matter so much unless they involved some sort of conflict.  I can tell you, that this firm could extract and generate conflict in Utopia if necessary!  They wouldn’t even need an army to do so.

After just a couple of very uncomfortable meetings with this firm, which left me feeling so emotionally, physically and mentally drained, I decided to move on.

The tactic that this new firm employed, was gentle yet firm and assertive!  They never once fanned the flames of my anger and resentment.  They listened as I spoke about how horrible I thought I my ex had been but focused on what was important, the divorce and my daughter.

If I suggested going down a route that was only going to cause more aggravation to the already volatile situation, they would not only discourage me from doing so, but they would come up with a different solution to the same problem that would be less confrontational.

This new movement by family lawyers towards people awareness, as slow as it is, will definitely, definitely play a role in how families living separately turn out.  This then means that there will be children out there whose lives will be less affected by the outcome because their parents’ solicitor treated them more like people going through a major change in their lives than a case number that will help finance their lifestyle.

Family solicitors should be the voice of the child not in the room; the people whom, in the midst of heavy bombardment of adverse words and actions, the children can indirectly rely upon to make sure that despite their parents’ war, someone is looking out for them and wants to make sure they will continue to see both parents and that they will not be used as pawns in this life-changing game.

As Ben Lawson so aptly puts it, “For that reason, amongst others, it is incredibly important that we are able to offer honest and practical advice to clients, giving consideration not only to what our client wants, but also pointing out that what they decide will inevitably impact on their children.”

About Soila

Soila is a Parenting Therapist, accredited Triple P practitioner, Certified Trauma Specialist and trained Family Mediator.  She works in private practice mainly, but not exclusively, with families going through divorce and separation.

Soila is the founder of The Davis Centre and The Divorce Magazine.

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high stakes - divorce story

Choosing your Divorce Lawyer or Family Mediator

Published on
Women and Divorce
Wendi Schuller
Author of
The Global Guide to Divorce

There are several ways of finding the right solicitor or mediator for your divorce.

If you know someone in any area of the legal field, ask them whom they would personally select.

Another way is to query people that you value in the professional world who they would get for a divorce. That is how I found my solicitor when needing one in a hurry for my divorce. A man that I regularly did business with insisted that only one solicitor would do. I respected his opinion and this particular name came up again and again so that was who I hired to represent me in my divorce proceedings.

There is a lot to be said for word-of mouth recommendations.  You hear about both the good family solicitors/ family mediators and the less stellar ones who bump up legal fees.

Information at the school gates can be valuable. Many of these parents have been through a divorce or know someone who has and can give some advice on this subject.

One mum at my son’s school warned me that my solicitor was like a pit bull – aggressive and occasionally bit its owner. This sage advice made my relationship easier with her, particularly when she was blunt or did not agree with me on some points.

Go online and see who is rated highly in Family Law and has won some professional awards.

If you have heard good things about certain law firms – see if they also do divorces. They want to maintain their esteemed reputations so will hire the brightest in their fields.

Choosing your divorce lawyer
Choosing your Divorce Lawyer

An online search for local listings gives one a beginning point. Go to the individuals’ web sites and also check out their law firms’ ones. See which ones are more appealing and follow up on those. This is also a way to see who is not, and avoid putting those names on your list.

Look at recommendations and low ratings online. Keep in mind a mediator or solicitor may have had 2000 clients who were ecstatically happy with them and their results. The one disgruntled former client may be the only person who submits a rating online, which may make that legal professional erroneously appear less effective.

There are some great divorce package deals online and that makes it easier to see who fits best for your budget.

Top law firms also participate in naming a specific price for various types of divorces. Some of the categories include: uncontested (when both parties agree on getting divorced), contested ones where one person may not want a divorce or has some other issue. The package may be for couples without children. The packages vary per law firm. If you are narrowing down solicitors, see of any advertise a packaged deal. If you really like someone, you can ask if they do any, if none are listed on the web site.

A divorce package has services bundled together for a certain price. If the divorce becomes quite complicated, then other ones may be added ala carte.

Many law firms offer a free initial consultation for a specified amount of time. This is a great way to see whom you click with and would be comfortable sharing your personal information.

It is easier having a face-to-face meeting with a few solicitors or mediators to get a sense if you two are a good match. Some law firms specialize in certain types of clients. If you are a high net-worth client, see who has been in the news lately for getting huge settlements for their clients. Some men may prefer going to a law firm that only accepts male clients for divorce.

Determine if you want to go the mediation route or if you want a solicitor. There are many articles in The Divorce Magazine that explain the differences and singularities to help you decide which one to choose.

Also determine if you want a collaborative divorce, where the solicitors work together in the process, or if you want to go to court. What you decide for the type of divorce process you desire, determines which legal professional that you will hire.

More and more family law solicitors are becoming certified as divorce mediators. If you are on the fence regarding which type of divorce you would like, consider this option. Select a divorce professional that is both a solicitor and mediator. They can go over collaborative vs mediation and work with you in deciding which way to go with your divorce.

 

CLICK HERE FOR MORE ARTICLES BY WENDI SCHULLER

ABOUT WENDI

Wendi Schuller is a nurse, hypnotherapist and is certified in Neuro-linguistic Programing (NLP).

Her most recent book is The Global Guide to Divorce and she has over 200 published articles.

She is a guest on radio programs in the US and UK. Her website is globalguidetodivorce.com.

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Your First Meeting with your Divorce Lawyer

Published on
Women and Divorce
Wendi Schuller
Author of
The Global Guide to Divorce

Getting records together for your new divorce solicitor or mediator is a first step in the divorce process.

Sometimes one’s financial state seems to be a jumble of loans and assets and the solicitor will have to get a general idea of the situation.

A financial advisor may be called in to sort out the records and give the solicitors an idea of the assets involved in the case.

Do your part by getting copies of bank statements, loan papers, taxes and whatever else you can lay your hands on to get the ball rolling with your divorce.

Your solicitor or mediator may give you a list of what is needed for your initial encounter. The following information will get you started on what data to bring with you.

The best advice is to bring everything to your first meeting with your divorce lawyer including:

  • Financial records include taxes paid, both personal and business.
  • All loans, including student ones are needed. Did either set of parents loan money for example, as a house down payment or for a credit card bill?
  • The amount of your rent or mortgage (plus balance owed on the mortgage).
  • Do either of you pay anything for children from previous relationships?
  • List all bank accounts/investments/pension plans with their account numbers and balances. Do either of you have any automatic deductions withdrawn from pay checks? Jot down any stocks, bonds, or mutual funds. Do either of your work places contribute to investments or retirement plans?
  • Could there be an off shore account or does some money appear to be missing?

divorce advice ukNext, think about some other assets that you have either jointly or individually. List assets with approximate net worth:

  • Vehicles with model and year
  • Value of property including marital home. Mention any bolt holes and holiday homes, including timeshares
  • Art and any big ticket items

Jewellery and gifts may be exempt from this list, but check with your solicitor.

The next part is for giving background information to the various divorce professionals and may be helpful in considering shared care, and in determining maintenance.  Our custody evaluator also wanted a copy of this report and I may have gotten physical custody partially as a result.  A Cafcass officer may ask for it too.

  • Write up the history of your marriage with the highlights. Was there any type of abuse? Do the spouses or children have any chronic illnesses, drug or alcohol usage, or a police record?
  • Did either spouse have affairs? Was there any neglect?
  • Is a child a special needs one, who requires much specialized care?
  • Is anyone in ongoing therapy?
  • What is both of your recent work histories? Did one spouse leave a lucrative career to stay home to raise the kids? That spouse may need training/education to get back in the workforce.

Think about what expenses you and the children have which may affect maintenance and child support payments. This list also indicates your standard of living or life style, so be sure to include travelling and personal upkeep costs.

  • List children’s expenses such as tuition, tutoring, activities, sports, camps, class trips, clothing and general expenditures.
  • What do you spend on weekly groceries, eating out, entertainment and various activities?
  • List all memberships, club or organization fees, charity donations, subscriptions and any incidentals.
  • List payments for utilities, internet, phone, TV and routine bills.
  • Do you have any job expenses such as transportation, uniforms or anything else?

The point is to mention all expenses and to have your solicitor understand your complete financial picture.  The marital history can affect the distribution of assets or visitation schedule, particularly if abuse was present.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE ARTICLES BY WENDI SCHULLER

ABOUT WENDI

Wendi Schuller is a nurse, hypnotherapist and is certified in Neuro-linguistic Programing (NLP).

Her most recent book is The Global Guide to Divorce and she has over 200 published articles.

She is a guest on radio programs in the US and UK. Her website is globalguidetodivorce.com.

 

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Family Solicitors, their Clients and Children of Divorce

Published on
Ben Lawson
Ben Lawson
Family Law Associate with Flint Bishop

I was prompted to write this brief article after reading an interesting piece by Sue Atkins on how to help your children deal with boy band One Direction splitting up.

Whilst I care little for One Direction’s decision to separate, it did make me think about the role of a Family Solicitor instructed following a marriage or relationship breakdown, and more so the importance of sound advice when there are children involved.

Whilst we must adhere to our client’s instructions, in such an emotive area of law, we must be able to assess and advise on the impact of separation on the client’s circumstances, but also the impact on their children.

Sue’s article made me think about how fragile a child’s emotions can be and how important it is to make sure they do not lose trust in their parents.

I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve heard clients berate their ex in the ‘heat of the moment’ or shortly after separation, when emotions are still high and the effects of the relationship breakdown are still being felt.

However, this makes the role of a Family Solicitor crucial, not only for our clients, but for the children.

As a member of Resolution (an organisation committed to a constructive, non-confrontational approach to family law matters), I subscribe to the Code of Guidance, which amongst other things, states that children matters should be kept separate from divorce/relationship breakdown and financial matters.

siblings and divorce
Our role as Family Solicitors is crucial, not only for our clients, but for the children.

This is hugely important, but we must bear in mind that our advice in relation to how a client should deal with the divorce or relationship breakdown, or what a fair financial settlement is, will inevitably impact the children.

For example, if a parent wishes to deal with separation in a bullying or confrontational way, this will obviously cause further tension between parents which may spill out in front of the children in an argument.

Will the child be affected by seeing their parents arguing; or hearing them blame each other for where they are or who caused the relationship to breakdown?

Finding an amicable and fair way through the myriad of issues created when parents separate is not easy but it is essential.

If, as Family Solicitors, we are not advising our clients to try and maintain at the very least a working parental relationship, the impact on the children may be felt both in the immediate aftermath of separation and throughout their lives; at birthday parties, school assemblies and graduations.

What will the impact be on a child if only one of their parents attends? Will this cause a child to lose some of their respect and trust for one or both of their parents? More importantly, is it a risk worth taking?

I am sure that you will  agree that it is not a risk worth taking. For that reason, amongst others, it is incredibly important that we are able to offer honest and practical advice to clients, giving consideration not only to what our client wants, but also pointing out that what they decide will inevitably impact on their children.

The consequences of separation and how this is dealt with, however unintended, can have detrimental impacts on children ranging from low self-esteem, parental mistrust or alienation.

As a Family Solicitor, the impact on the children must be considered when giving legal advice.

The best advice that I can offer is to take a step back. We have all been guilty of making a rash decision when angry or annoyed and often regret it shortly after.

As a Family Solicitor, it is important to maintain a calm approach and look to resolve the matter without getting your client embroiled in arguments or issues, which can be avoided. Unfortunately, there may be no way of undoing the damage caused to a child’s relationship with their parent if you do not maintain such an approach.

If you have any further questions or wish to discuss anything in this article, please do not hesitate to contact me on 01332 226185.

Ben Lawson is a  Family Law Associate Solicitor with Flint Bishop and chair of the Derby Junior Lawyers and an active member of the Derby and District Law Society Social Committee. 

He is also a Resolution member and mentor students studying law at the University of Derby.

In 2015 Ben was nominated for ‘Family Law Young Solicitor of the Year’.

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