The Divorce Magazine met up with Divorce Strategist, Suzy Miller to find out how she can help couples going through the divorce process as well as cohabiting couples going through separation.
This is what Suzy told us about her role, her job and how she helps.
I am a Divorce Strategist who helps to prepare people who are divorcing for a more peaceful journey through divorce.
I am independent – I am not a lawyer, not a mediator (though I am an affiliate member of the Family Mediator’s Association) – but I know who you need to talk to when divorcing to stay on a peaceful path, and when is the best time to talk to those experts.
Quite simply, my mission is to inspire and empower parents to co-parent without conflict during or after family breakup by making sure they create a strategy that will be win-win for the whole family.
I’m your ‘travel guide’ through divorce – helping you to create your own Divorce Strategy.
Because I am on the co-parenting journey myself, and I want to share what I’m learning from the many experts I speak to, it’s important to me to bust some myths (like “mediation only works for divorcing parents who “get on well” – when actually it can work for adversarial couples too), and I take clients on a journey that is a bit like going up in a balloon and traveling over the landscape of divorce, looking down and understanding just how toxic the family law system can be, and what strategies you need to protect yourself – and your family.
I do not believe in broken families. What we evolve into during divorce are extended families.
I am able to enlighten people on how to save at least £65,000 on their divorce, and who they need to be guided towards to provide the best support for their financial decisions, and for their children (eg. parenting experts like Soila!).
I receive referrals from mediators for people they cannot yet work with – because they are not in a good space for mediation to have a chance of success.
The work that I do gets them ready to access mediation with confidence and understanding the full strategic benefits of sticking to a peaceful route through divorce, and I steer them back (when they are ready) to the professional who originally referred them.
Because the time-lag can be large if that referral takes ages to contact me, I provide affiliate links to make sure I know where each client has come from.
How are you different from a divorce coach?
Well, I’ve observed very successful divorce coaches during their workshops and what I have that they don’t, is clarity on who does what.
At a workshop I was witnessing last year there was a point where the attendees where quite confused, asking questions like: “What does a financial planner do? Doesn’t the lawyer deal with all the financial stuff?” … and: “Isn’t mediation fluffy?” … and: “What is Collaborative Law anyway?”
I am the person who understands how the jigsaw of divorce can be put together in a different way, through empowering the divorcing person (or couple) to understand who they need to talk to, and when, to get the best outcome.
The reason this is important is because the impact of that knowledge can have a powerfully beneficial affect on their children.
This is why my Divorce Strategy Sessions are 100% refundable at the end of the session.
That might seem crazy, but I provide all the information I can during our session and if the divorce is fairly straightforward and the person is happy to take action on their own, with the information they have, then that’s all they need.
It is only if they choose to have a further session and benefit from other support structures that I’ve created, then they can choose not to have their initial payment refunded. It’s entirely up to them.
That way I know no-one needs to miss out on information that could change the course of their divorce – not just financially, but psychologically as well.
Every family has the right to a peaceful divorce. That doesn’t mean easy, or without anger or pain (I don’t have a magic wand!).
But to have the ability to rise above such a traumatic and challenging aspect of family life, and look down as you float past and see it all in a different way – that for me is my core role.
And in practical terms, my ambition is to continue to help families access dispute resolution who otherwise may have to be turned away as ‘not suitable’, when in fact, what they need to ‘be suitable’, is a different way of looking at their situation.
I use coaching techniques but my focus is very pragmatic – making sure they understand the process and have realistic expectations.
Many divorce coaches don’t have the network of expertise that I have to tap into and share with my clients, because I’ve also created an Alternative Divorce Directory to gather together professionals in a wide range of disciplines.
But I value the role of divorce coaches highly, which is why I include them on my Alternative Divorce Directory and refer clients to them.
I have collaborated with the MOJ in promoting dispute resolution, am an affiliate member of the Family Mediators’ Association, have written for the Daily Mail and been featured in many national magazines and appeared on BBC Breakfast TV, Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour and C5’s The Vanessa Show.
I also have a talk that is a little ‘raw’ in nature, but I’m keen to be real with people about why I do what I do, sharing my own story.
It all sounds really interesting but how do you work with Divorce Professionals or do you work with them?
If any divorce professionals would like to make my Divorce Strategy services (effectively free to clients as they have a fully refundable deposit) available to their clients, they can access an affiliate link here
For divorcing people who want to access my service direct, and are scared of the cost and the emotional upheaval of divorce – and need a strategy that’s fully refundable – then there is more information here: Family Life Resilience
“Peace is my weapon of choice”
Click here for articles that Suzy Miller has shared with The Divorce Magazine
To find out more about Suzy:
07525 059 634