What good is mediation? This was the question I was recently asked by a client. John[1] had separated from his wife, Jane, with whom he had three children, and divorce proceedings had started. John wanted to know how mediation would help him and
Parents’ divorces and dating lives have spilled over into their children’s schools. It does not matter who is right or who is wrong, when youngsters are drawn into adult matters. When parents are out for revenge, the kids are affected by the
Early on in my training as a trauma counsellor, my supervisor of the time said many things that stayed with me. One of them was this: If you must judge people judge them on the quality of their relationships. I liked how this
Marilyn Devonish is the founder of Trance Formations™, a training, consultancy and coaching company committed to improving and transforming the performance of individuals and organisations. Marilyn covers various important points that will help you in coping wth divorce and moving on from
Divorce provides the opportunity to reinvent yourself. This could be a new career path or change in scenery as in a move across country. It is how one looks at divorce as either the world stops – or gently nudges a person
A few weeks ago I attended a silent auction fundraiser with two lovely ladies who also happen to be stepmoms (yes, we ARE everywhere). Conversation moved easily from work to travel to husbands to how much we spend on our hair. Toward
Being empowered in divorce is the opposite from viewing oneself as a victim. It is the difference from being in a place of strength to feeling out of control during and post-divorce. Assess what you can control and what is out of
Raising children together within the realms of a marriage or relationship can be tough to say the least. Each parent’s own personal upbringing will have formed their own set of beliefs and enabled them to decide how they wish to raise their
When parents get divorced, they are encouraged to sort out arrangements for any children between themselves, so that things can remain as amicable as possible. The best interests of the children should be the focal consideration and both parents should continue to
It may be tempting to keep your children away from your ex when you are angry with her, or he is behind with child support. Are your thwarting time with the other parent for the children’s sake, or for yours? Be clear
Parents often do not realize what a step-parent’s role is and cast them into other unwanted ones. Two step-parents resented their assigned positions of negotiator and grief counsellor. Some step-parents said that they are a family friend to the children and not
What is done during separation may not hold up for divorce proceedings. Get everything in writing even when happily married, since people can change their minds or show their true colours at a later date. This is particularly important if one’s parents