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How Does the Supreme Court's Judgement in Standish Affect You?
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How Does the Supreme Court’s Judgement in Standish Affect You?

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James Pirrie
James Pirrie
Director at
Family Law in Partnership

The short answer is that Standish affects things a bit – but it probably just confirms what a family solicitor would advise you to do anyway.

The longer answer is that highest court of the land has carried out one of its periodic reviews of how to deal with assets at the end of a marriage. Mr and Mrs Standish had considerable assets, much of it built up by Mr Standish before the marriage. They also had a plan to minimise inheritance tax for their children by putting a big slab of Mr Standish’s money in Mrs Standish’s name. When they split, questions were asked:

  1. Did she keep it? 
  2. Was it shared?
  3. Did Mr Standish get it back?

The answer was C.  

Mr Standish got the money back because it was considered to be his separate property and the intention was never that Mrs Standish should benefit from it. There was also enough marital property to meet Mrs Standish’s ongoing needs, such as accommodation and lifestyle. 

Would this be the same if there were more modest assets to share?

If you don’t have such substantial assets, it is less likely to be as simple as dividing marital property (sometimes referred to as the marital pot).  You may need to dip into each spouse’s separate property to meet needs.  Probably the right way now is: 

  1. First, to think carefully about whether an asset is one person’s “separate property”
  2. Secondly consider whether the assets have become shared – and this is all about intention – and now form part of the marital property
  3. Thirdly, you carry out a “needs” assessment, then adjust any division to ensure that children are provided for and that each spouse has a fair start on the road to independent living.

This approach makes clear that there is no simple “split it all 50:50”.

Looking at those 3 elements in turn:

1) Separate property

This is going to include: 

  • What one person owned before the marriage; or
  • What they were given during the marriage, such as an inheritance

This is different from marital property, which is everything built up by or during the relationship.

It is usually possible to clearly identify property/ assets as one or the other – separate or marital.  Although there are still uncertainties, for example where there have been personal injury awards or lottery wins. 

2) Intention to share formerly separate assets

The second stage is all about intention. You don’t just look at whose name an asset is held in, you focus on the intention.  If you went to Court, a Judge would consider “Do the dealings between you show that you intended to convert what was separate into something that was for you both?” If so, the separate assets are matrimonialised, which means they become joint assets and form part of the marital property. As such they are usually (but not inevitably) going to be shared equally.

This might happen over time because:

  • What was separate property is not really so significant after the passage of time, because other assets have built up and the fact that this asset was separately brought in is not such a big deal
  • These monies have been put into joint funds or otherwise scrambled together and over time that shows that they are intended to be relied on by both of you
  • The money has been put into the family home and lived in over a period of time – and what asset is more central to the marriage partnership than that?

There may be other reasons and some situations will be harder to call. For example, what about a pension or even an ISA – these are not assets that you can put in joint names and there may be disagreement over what was said and what was intended during the relationship. 

3) What is the needs assessment?

Needs is a bit like a picnic: you don’t focus so much on who brought what to the picnic, everyone needs to eat and if there is not enough to go around then you work a way to share what there is to make the best of the situation, usually prioritising younger children.

So here the marital property will be shared first, but if necessary the separate assets will also be shared. This can include future income.

What does this mean for the legal process?

Standish is simply telling us to be disciplined and take the steps in sequence to make sure that the right answer is reached.  We need to:

  1. think about whether an asset is really one person’s separate property or marital property; then
  2. consider whether dividing just the marital property will ensure that children are provided for and that each spouse has a fair start towards independent life

And if not:

  1. dip into the separate assets to meet those needs.

Ultimately the decision in Standish is intended to enable a fairer division of assets on divorce, but some things remain less clear. 

For example, imagine Jo who marries Les who has inherited a substantial 3 bed property. Otherwise, their resources are modest, they each earn well and at similar levels. Two years into the relationship, their marriage fails and they decide to divorce. Has the property that Les inherited become part of the marital pot?  What share of it does Jo get?  

If the main home is pretty much always marital property and if marital property is often divided equally, should Jo get half of the home after only 100 weeks of relationship that led to marriage and ended in divorce? We won’t know for sure until the guidance from the Supreme Court is put into practice in the day-to-day cases.

What does this mean for you?

I would suggest that when you are trying to find your solutions, it will almost always be worthwhile getting an “entitlements analysis” carried out by a legal professional.  This will give you a clear indication of what you may each be entitled to and indeed, need, to move forward with your lives. Some of these tests don’t come naturally and unusual situations will generate unusual answers. You are not usually stuck with the analysis, but it will help to know it before you start trying to agree how you are going to go forward: no-one wants to regret their choices years down the road.

Read more articles by James Pirrie.

Read more articles by Family Law in Partnership.

About James Pirrie

James Pirrie is a Director of Family Law in Partnership, a highly regarded law firm based in London, which specialises in de-escalating conflict in family law.  He is an Arbitrator, Family Solicitor and Mediator accredited in child-inclusive mediation.

James is driven to improve long term outcomes for families who are experiencing separation or divorce.  He is credited with introducing collaborative law to the UK and with changing how children’s needs are addressed during family breakdown through the Parenting after Parting initiative. 

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Wanting to Separate? Starting the Divorce Conversation
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Wanting to Separate? Starting the Divorce Conversation

Published on
Jo Harrison
Jo Harrison
Divorce Consultant and Relationship Therapist
Family Law in Partnership

Every relationship is different and any conversation about separation is highly personal, but there are themes to consider if you are building up to discussing separation with your partner.

Safety First

When it comes to ending a relationship, safety may be the most significant consideration.  In some situations, the moment you tell your partner that you want to separate is when you are most likely to be at risk of violence. If you have any safety concerns, I suggest that you seek legal advice before speaking to your partner (making sure that the act of booking a consultation doesn’t put you at risk). In such a consultation you are likely to think about a practical plan to ensure that you and any children are in a safe place with access to support.

Planning the conversation

It is never going to be an easy conversation, particularly if your partner is not expecting it. Some couples find that going to relationship therapy and looking at the problems in their relationship can help them to transition into the separation more smoothly. Having this kind of support for your relationship can help you to create space to listen to how each other is feeling and can support mourning where necessary. If joint work doesn’t feel possible then it can be helpful to seek your own individual therapy to work out what you feel about the relationship and how to communicate this sensitively.

Timing

With or without couples therapy, I recommend that you think carefully about the timing of the conversation. You may feel there is never going to be a good time, but you can create a space for the conversation to happen by considering the following steps:

  • schedule a proper time, giving your partner notice that you want to talk to them – rather than springing it on them spontaneously;
  • make it a supportive time when you are able to talk and process what is being said – not just before bed or just before one of you has to go off to work;
  • if you have children and it is possible, arrange for them to be looked after by someone else so that you can focus on each other;
  • have a plan for afterwards.

Tone

I also recommend that you think about the tone of the conversation and how to make it constructive. If you list all the problems you’ve had with your partner, it is likely to make them defensive and this might get in the way of them being able to take on board what you are saying. This is where it can be helpful to describe the issues in the marriage between you from your own experience, using phrases such as ‘I feel’, rather than making it a blaming conversation.  This can be difficult if you have a lot of angry and disappointed feelings towards your partner that you feel you need to express, but in the initial conversation remember that, particularly if the news is coming as a shock to your partner, there is only going to be so much information that they can take on board.

This also links to another consideration – if you have had some time to emotionally prepare for the ending of the relationship you may feel that you want to start talking immediately about the practicalities of separating. Your partner, however, may be processing the emotional side of things and have absolutely no bandwidth for thinking about the practicalities.

For both the person initiating the divorce and the person receiving this information, it can be really helpful to prepare for how this part of the conversation is going to go. You should be prepared to allow each other time and space to process what’s happening.

Transition

Ultimately it is not just about one conversation. The moment you tell your partner that you want a divorce may be the first time it is verbalised, but it may reflect many years of thinking about it. There will be a process, both legal and psychological, that will follow in which it will be important that you both have a support network within which to think about the implications of your separation.

I often work with people who are contemplating or thinking about divorce to give them space to prepare for this big transition in their life and to support them in thinking about how to handle it best in the relationship.

Expert View

Jo Harrison, a Divorce Consultant and Relationship Therapist, says: “Each divorce is different and has its own set of challenges. There are difficult choices to be made and difficult feelings to cope with – whether those feelings are your own or those of your ex-partner. Being able to talk about and process the changes that divorce entails can be really helpful.

Parents can use counselling to think about what is going on for the whole family and how to minimise the impact on any children. Some people come in for a one-off session and others may come more regularly – it really depends on the situation and we can think together about what might be best.” 

About Jo Harrison

Jo is a Divorce Consultant and Relationship Therapist with Family Law in Partnership. She is very experienced in working with individuals and couples who are separating.  A former family lawyer, Jo has a depth of experience and understands the legal process, which many if her clients find helpful.

If you would like to enquire about support individually in relation to preparing for a divorce or separation, please contact the FLiP relationship support team at E: therapists@flip.co.uk 

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Divorce Diaries

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Divorce Diaries
James Pirrie
Director at
Family Law in Partnership

We would like to introduce you to the Divorce Diaries website , a support network for anyone going through a family breakdown.

Divorce Diaries is a website with real life accounts of divorce and separation from people who have undergone the breakdown of a relationship, and the truthful accounts of their experiences during the process.

In essence, it brings together advice and insights on divorce and separation from those who have been through it.

In my work as a family lawyer, I see almost daily the uncertainty and isolation that family breakdown can cause.

Our aim in collecting together these divorce stories was to provide a community of former clients providing support to current clients. But we have made the Divorce Diaries freely available to all so that everyone can benefit from the wisdom and experiences of others.

I hope that visitors to the Divorce Diaries website will realise that they’re not alone in facing the challenging issues associated with a relationship breakdown.

The website has collected together over 30 divorce diaries, all from former clients of Family Law in Partnership who, under fictitious names, have shared their stories of separation in the hope of providing support for others who find themselves in a similarly difficult and distressing situation.

Each entry is laid out under sub-headings posed as questions, all answered by each contributor with their own unique insight into separation and divorce.

The site features various family types and many differing circumstances: from men with teenage/adult children, to women with no children, and several other options in between.

Each entry is tagged with keywords which link to related stories and ‘viewpoints’, so the reader is able to gain insight into lots of other peoples’ experiences without feeling as though they are prying; the open and honest nature of each entry encourages empathy and support between the reader and the author whilst maintaining anonymity.

The website includes top tips from our contributors for getting through the divorce and separation process and a list of websites where further help and support can be found. You can also download the collection of divorce diaries in an E-book format to read and refer to at a later stage.

Take a look at the Divorce Diaries website here: www.divorcediaries.co.uk

About James Pirrie

James Pirrie is a director at Family Law in Partnership, a boutique London-based family law firm which brings together lawyers, mediators & therapists.

James is credited with introducing collaborative law to the UK and with changing how children’s needs are addressed during family breakdown through the Parenting after Parting initiative.

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Moving in Together? What Couples Tend to Clash Over the Most…
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Moving in Together? What Couples Tend to Clash Over the Most…

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Moving in with your partner is one of those milestones that feels like the beginning of everything: the shared keys, the housewarming, the first morning waking up somewhere that belongs to both of you. With nearly a third of UK house moves happening between July and September, plenty of couples are living out that milestone right now. But once the boxes are unpacked and the novelty starts to settle, the reality of sharing a space with another person kicks in, and for many couples, that reality comes with friction.

Research found that four in 10 cohabiting couples split up within 10 years of moving in together, with arguments among the most commonly cited reasons for the breakup.

From whose turn it is to take the bins out to negotiating how much space each person gets in the wardrobe, the everyday friction of a shared home can reveal a lot about compatibility. In this piece, Georgina Vass, relationship expert, talks to The Sliding Door Wardrobe Company — who regularly work with couples moving in together — to reveal what couples tend to clash over most and how to move past it.

1. Splitting financial responsibilities 

The way we spend, save and think about finances is shaped by our upbringing, cultural background, personal history and beyond. When two people move in together, those deeply ingrained attitudes can collide in ways neither partner anticipated.

“Financial matters can be one of the biggest strains on relationships,” says Vass. “Spending decisions can sometimes take the form of a test between partners, from who will pay the bill on a first date through to how funds are spent in a shared living arrangement.”

The good news is that financial conflict is largely preventable with the right attitude. Vass recommends getting clear on your own relationship with money before turning it into a conversation. “Identify your value judgements around money and what is ‘ok’ to spend money on versus what isn’t,” she says. “Create a clear understanding of who is responsible for what. Focus on your partnership and build a shared vision for your finances: what do you both want to achieve through this new arrangement?”

2. Someone’s not pulling their weight

Few things expose the fault lines in a relationship quite like an uneven split of household tasks. What starts as a minor irritation – a pile of dishes left by the sink, a full bin bag that never quite makes it outside – can quietly build into something that feels more significant.

“The chore war embodies so many topics in relationships, from ideas around gender roles and values to how we show appreciation and communicate with others,” says Vass. Her advice is to approach it practically rather than letting resentment fester. “Talk to your partner and see if you can both commit to a goal of balancing your hours and tasks. Create a list of the chores that absolutely need to get done for the functioning of your household, explicitly assign them to each partner, and then allow that partner to master their domain.”

It’s also worth keeping expectations in check. As Vass points out, forming new habits takes time. “A shift in thinking takes time and effort and mistakes may be made along the way – try to be patient with this process.”

3. The habits you didn’t notice before

Living with someone means living with everything they do: the late-night scrolling, the unconventional approach to tidying, the alarm that goes off 45 minutes before they actually get up. Habits that were easy to overlook during the odd night spent together can feel a lot more irritating when they become part of your daily routine.

Vass notes that conflict tends to arise when one partner starts reading the other’s habits as personal failings. “Arguments can begin when one partner identifies the other’s habit as a flaw, a health risk, or something related to fairness,” she says. Her advice is to approach difference with curiosity rather than criticism.

“Everyone is unique and has different styles. Having a partner who balances your weaknesses and brings different perspectives, rather than someone who thinks and acts exactly as you do, can be advantageous.”

4. The silent killer: poor communication 

Almost every argument on this list has bad communication at its root. Whether it’s finances, chores or habits, the way couples talk – or don’t talk – about friction determines whether small issues get resolved or quietly evolve into something harder to unpick.

“Communication, or rather miscommunication and lack of communication, is consistently a source of conflict,” says Vass. “When people are stressed, their communication tends to worsen, which is unfortunate since it is usually when it matters the most.” She recommends choosing your moments carefully. “Effective communication tends to occur when people feel safe, so it may be helpful to pick a neutral, calm time to have difficult conversations.”

Practical techniques can also help keep things on track. Vass suggests sticking to the facts and using “I” statements to reduce defensiveness. Keep the focus on finding solutions rather than bringing up old problems.

Moving in together will always come with an adjustment period, but with open communication and a willingness to compromise, most couples find their rhythm. Most of the time, the odd argument along the way is just proof that you’re figuring it out together.

Read more articles by Georgina Vass.

About Georgina Vass

As a relationship and sex therapist, with over 15 years of academic and professional experience in sex-education and mental health services, Georgina offers a sex-positive approach to individuals and couples.

Using a combination of warmth and humor, along with a background in CBT, psychotherapy, and family therapy in New York City and Brighton, she strive’s to offer her clients an integrative approach using a variety of evidence-based tools to reduce the difficulties that they are experiencing and collaborate with them to enable more helpful changes.

Georgina also adopts a biopsychosocial approach to consider my client’s biology, psychology, physical health, emotional wellbeing, and environment and how these factors relate to create a full picture of their presenting issues.

Find out more.

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Why Proposed Reforms are Vital to Financially Protect Cohabiting Couples
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Why Proposed Reforms are Vital to Financially Protect Cohabiting Couples

Published on
Katie Jennings
Katie Jennings
Solicitor
Jones Myers

Jones Myers niche family law firm  has been at the forefront of ongoing campaigns to overhaul outdated cohabitation laws which currently do not give couples living together legal protection or rights if they split up.    

This is a far cry from the situation with married couples, who, on separation, are safeguarded in crucial areas such as savings, income, pensions, property, business interests, and their children’s future.

We therefore embrace proposals at the heart of a Government consultation which seeks to protect cohabitants who are parting ways in areas including financial remedies – and in situations when one of them dies without leaving a will.

As a specialist family law firm we are frequently instructed by clients – who have been cohabiting and are unmarried or in a civil partnership – and who are unaware that they have no automatic rights to their partner’s property or savings when their relationship breaks down.   

The current situation can cause even more uncertainly when there are children from the relationship. 

As we await the outcome of the proposed changes, we suggest that cohabitees in this situation  obtain advice about their protections under the law – ideally before they move in together – or at any stage of their cohabiting relationship. 

More couples are entering into Cohabitation Agreements which set out how financial matters within the relationship will be managed . The contracts are especially useful documents in circumstances where people already own assets in their sole names or have made purchases with contributions from parents or from inheritance. They provide an essential roadmap for them to follow should they split up.  

It is important that each party seeks independent legal advice and discloses all financial information in the lead up to signing the agreement, which should be reviewed regularly.

Entered into correctly, a cohabitation agreement is legally binding and can be used as the framework for a Prenuptial Agreement should marriage be on the cards. 

Jones Myers is committed to helping our clients navigate these issues, whether through our team of specialist family lawyers or through our experienced mediation practitioners. 

More on the Government consultation, which closes on August 14, can be found here.  

For queries on cohabitation agreements or any areas of divorce and family law, call 0113 246 0055 (Leeds) 01423 276104 (Harrogate), 202550 (York). Visit www.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet @helpwithdivorce

Jones Myers blog is ranked 5th in the 20 Best UK Family Law Blogs to Follow in 2026.

Read more articles by Jones Myers.

About Katie Jennings

Katie is a member of Jones Myers’ award-winning Divorce and Financial Remedies Department. A family law specialist skilled in litigation, Katie is also a family mediator currently working towards accreditation with the Family Mediation Council. 

Committed to reaching solutions which avoid going to court, Katie was drawn to Jones Myers’ standing as  a leading niche family law firm with a focus on resolving relationship breakdown through non-confrontational routes. Katie is based at the York city centre offices of Jones Myers at The Quadrant, Bootham Row.   

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When Court is the Only Solution in Divorce
A guide to when court may be the only solution in divorce, including the process, risks, and key considerations.
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When Court is the Only Solution in Divorce

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Nicki Mitchell
Nicki Mitchell
Partner
Jones Myers

As a niche family law firm which champions a non-confrontational approach to divorce, Jones Myers always strives to offer our clients alternative options to a court divorce such as mediation or collaborative family practice. 

Clients undergoing divorce are at a crossroads of their lives and do not take such an enormous decision lightly. It presents numerous emotional, financial and practical challenges, even where both agree the relationship is over.  

While our experienced family law experts do everything we can to help them to choose the right path for their circumstances, sometimes going to court is the only viable option. I explain in more detail below.     

In what circumstances do couples choose a court divorce? 

This largely depends on the advice they receive. Whilst most lawyers will explain all the Non Court Dispute Resolution (NCDR) options to clients, some, who may perhaps have less or no experience in this area, are more inclined to recommend court applications.  

The court process has its place. A Judge can compel the production of financial information, ultimately, though rarely, by sending someone guilty of non-disclosure to prison. The court can also order third parties, such as accountants and other advisers who hold information relevant to the case, to provide information. 

In extreme cases – in particular where there is a lack of engagement in the process – a court can make orders without engaging with one of the couple. 

What is involved in a court process?

Before an application can be made to the court for a Financial Order – which sets out how the financial assets of separating couples will be divided – an application must have been made for a divorce or dissolution of a Civil Partnership. The various steps required can be found here.

Before applying for a Financial Order or a Child Arrangements Order – a court order court  setting out the living arrangements of a child or children involved in the divorce – the person proposing to make the application must either attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) or be eligible for one of a small number of exemptions.

The MIAM assesses whether mediation is an option for the separating couple. A financial application starts with the exchange of full financial disclosure which is then followed by a series of up to three main court hearings.   

What are the advantages of a court process? 

Court applications are often started because one of the couple refuses to engage. Only a Judge can compel someone to produce documents or make orders in the absence of co-operation.

The court’s role is to encourage couples to make agreed decisions about their finances and children. However, some couples, for a variety of reasons, are simply unable to reach agreement and need someone to make that decision for them.  In default of agreement, the court can impose binding decisions on them. 

…and the disadvantages?

In court proceedings couples run the risk that they will lose control of decisions which will affect them for years to come. They may well not agree with what the court imposes but in reality will find it difficult to do anything about it – appeals are rare and costly. 

There is no guaranteed privacy in a court divorce – journalists can obtain permission to report in family law courts on cases involving finances and/or children’s wellbeing and future.   

Couples are appointed a judge, who is unknown to them, and who potentially makes vital decisions on key issues about their future. Continuity is not assured, with different judges often involved at different stages of the proceedings.  

Court hearings can be costly, stressful and time consuming. They heighten conflict between the couple which inevitably has a negative impact on their children and wider family.  

The duration of a court divorce can vary significantly from a few months to years if the issues are  contested. The court system is under strain and there is always the risk that a hearing may be cancelled or put off if there is insufficient court time or no available Judge. 

Court orders, whether made by agreement or imposed by a Judge, are legally binding and enforceable.  Negotiated agreements are easily converted into court orders without the need for any hearings. 

What are the first steps for those in this situation to take?   

Knowing where to start on this path can seem overwhelming. Whichever route you take, it is vital to secure the best possible legal advice from highly experienced family law professionals like Jones Myers who are members of family law group Resolution and have a strong track record in their respective fields.  

In circumstances when going to court is a client’s only viable option, Jones Myers is highly experienced in litigating in all court arenas from the Magistrate’s Court through to The Supreme Court.

Our legal experts are dedicated to safeguarding our clients’ best interests throughout the process, taking into careful consideration their immediate and long-term needs – and helping them to face the future with confidence.

For queries on divorce and family law, call 0113 246 0055 (Leeds) 01423 276104 (Harrogate), 202550 (York). Visit www.jonesmyers.co.uk, email info@jonesmyers.co.uk or tweet @helpwithdivorce.

Read more articles by Jones Myers.

Read more articles by Nicki Mitchell.

About Nicki Mitchell

With extensive experience in family law, Nicki specialises in the financial aspects of relationship breakdown – and particularly complex cases involving family businesses, multiple properties, and complicated pension arrangements. 

A skilled Mediator and Collaborative Family Lawyer, Nicki champions Alternative Dispute Resolution processes which avoid a lengthy court process and can lead much more quickly and cost effectively to a successful resolution.

Her exceptional track record also includes advising clients on the more traditional methods of resolving issues surrounding family breakdowns. Nicki.mitchell@jonesmyers.co.uk  01904 202553, www.jonesmyers.co.uk 

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‘I’m Keeping the Kids!’ – What to Do If Your Ex Won’t Return the Children After They Have Spent Time With Them

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Francesca Dooley
Trainee Legal Executive (Associate Member)
Family team, Birketts LLP

Worried because your ex hasn’t returned the children after they have spent time/lived with them? Francesca Dooley, Trainee Legal Executive in the family team at Birketts LLP, explains your legal options, when to call the police, and how a family solicitor can help.

When a co‑parent refuses to return the children after an agreed period of spending time/lived with, it can be frightening, stressful and emotionally overwhelming. Many parents are unsure what their rights are, or what practical steps they can take in the moment. This guide explains the legal position, what you should do straightaway, and the options available to help you restore normal arrangements as safely and quickly as possible.

Is it against the law if my ex doesn’t return our children?

In England and Wales, the law treats this situation differently depending on whether there are existing court orders:

  • Where there is a Child Arrangements Order in place
    If a Child Arrangements Order (CAO) is in place setting out the time the children live with/spend time with each parent and the other parent does not adhere to this then they are in breach of the court order. This is a serious matter, and the court can enforce the order. However a parent can admit to breaching an order if they say they have a reasonable excuse for example that there is a safeguarding reason not to return the children to the care of the other parent.
  • Where there is no court order
    If no CAO exists, the police are limited in what they can do unless there is an immediate safeguarding concern. Both parents typically have parental responsibility, which means each parent has the right to have the children with them unless a court order says otherwise. A parent can’t ‘kidnap’ their own child/ren. The police may do a welfare check, but generally are not keen to get involved.

However, refusing to return the children can amount to child abduction if one parent removes the children without consent and without a reasonable excuse from the jurisdiction of England and Wales.

Step 1: Try to Make Contact and Stay Calm

Although emotions run high, your first step should be to:

  • Attempt contact with the other parent by phone, text or email
  • Ask for a clear explanation of the delay
  • Keep records of all communication

Often, misunderstandings can be resolved without escalation, but documenting everything is important if the matter goes further.

Step 2: Consider Contacting the Police

The police can intervene in some circumstances, such as:

  • Where a Child Arrangements Order states the child/ren are to be in your care
  • Where there is a risk of harm/safeguarding reasons
  • Where a parent threatens to take the children out of the jurisdiction
  • Where the children have been taken by someone without parental responsibility

Police may use their powers under the Child Abduction Act 1984, but they will generally try to encourage the other parent to comply voluntarily.

If there is no immediate risk, the police are likely to advise you to seek legal advice/a Family Court remedy.

Step 3: Seek Legal Advice Quickly

A family law solicitor can advise on:

  • Applying for a Child Arrangements Order (if none exists)
  • Enforcement of an existing CAO
  • Prohibited Steps Orders, preventing removal of the child
  • Specific Issue Orders, addressing particular disputes
  • Emergency remedies where the child’s welfare is at risk

Early legal advice is key to preventing the situation from escalating.

It is important to protect a child from conflict and any communications with the other parent should set out the child’s experience of this conduct, and the impact that they were no doubt expecting to come back to the care of the other parent. Further that there should not be conflict at school (parents jostling to collect a child/ren), nor should a child be kept out of school.

Step 4: Apply to the Family Court (Urgently If Necessary)

If your ex continues to refuse to return the children or there is a safeguarding concern, you may need to apply to court.

Emergency Applications

You can apply without giving notice to the other parent if:

  • You believe the children are at immediate risk
  • The other parent has threatened to take them abroad
  • There is a history of non-return

The court can make urgent interim orders for the return of the children. They are generally very reluctant to do hearings without notice to the other parent. They will list at short notice instead. There are special provisions in the law relating to fear that a child may be taken out of the country to have female circumcision for example.

 Enforcement Applications

Where a CAO has been breached, the court can order:

  • Warning notices
  • Unpaid work requirements
  • Compensation for financial loss
  • Varying the existing arrangement, including changing where the child lives in serious cases

The court’s focus will always be on the child’s welfare, not punishing parents but repeated non-compliance is taken seriously. However as set out above a parent will be asked if they had a ‘reasonable excuse’

The family court is reluctant to make punitive orders, including for costs as the general rule is no costs are awarded in children proceedings.

Step 5: Consider Mediation (If Safe to Do So)

If there is no immediate risk and communication is still possible, mediation can help resolve:

  • Return arrangements
  • Future contact schedules
  • Handover arrangements
  • Holiday contact and communication

Mediation is voluntary but often quicker and less stressful than court.

How to Protect Yourself Against Future Problems

You can help prevent future issues by:

  • Having a clear, written agreement
  • Using shared parenting apps to record communication
  • Requesting a Child Arrangements Order to formalise living and spending time with arrangements
  • Seeking a Prohibited Steps Order if you fear the children might be taken elsewhere

A structured plan reduces the chance of disputes and provides clarity for both parents.

When to Seek Help Immediately

Contact a family solicitor or the police urgently if:

  • Your ex refuses to disclose your children’s location
  • You suspect they may be taken abroad
  • There is domestic abuse
  • The children are at risk of harm

You do not have to navigate this situation alone.

How Our Firm Can Help

We can support you with:

  • Emergency court applications
  • Enforcement of existing orders
  • Drafting clear and robust contact arrangements
  • Advice tailored to your family’s situation
  • Representing you in negotiations or court proceedings

Our priority is to protect your children’s welfare and help you restore stability as quickly as possible.

About Francesca Dooley

Francesca is a Graduate Member of the Chartered Institute of Legal Executives (MCILEX) and joined Birketts as a Trainee Legal Executive in May 2023. She works within the Family Team in the Ipswich office.

Since July 2024, Francesca works closely with Katie Beaven, Juliet Harvey and Ivana Radovic assisting them in providing divorce advice, financial remedies, separation advice/deeds, dissolution of civil partnerships, children arrangements, prenuptial agreements and post-nuptial agreements.

Francesca also deals with surrogacy, private adoption matters, declarations of parentage, as well as platonic co-parenting arrangements.

Francesca was previously working in Birketts’ Property Litigation Team, assisting individuals with high value and complex property disputes. This experience has refined Francesca’s ability to assist clients in resolving their disputes, whether through court or via Alternative Dispute Resolution, and be a source of support when emotions are running high.

Francesca is currently studying with CILEX Law School to qualify as a CILEX Lawyer. Francesca has completed both the Foundation Stage and the Advanced Stage and is now in her final year studying the Professional Stage. Prior to joining Birketts, Francesca has gained over 12 years’ experience working as a Paralegal and assistant in areas including Mental Health Law and Dispute Resolution.

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What Business Owners Need to Know Before A Separation

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Mark Betteridge
Mark Betteridge
Family Law Solicitor
Woolley & Co Solicitors

Divorce is never easy and if you own a business, it does carry additional complexity. Over the past three decades, Mark Betteridge has advised many business owners considering separation. A common theme is that separation is approached with understandable anxiety: “Will I lose my business? “Will it have to be sold?” and “How do we value the business?” are common questions.

While every case is unique, there are some practical points worth understanding before taking any formal steps.

1.The court looks at fairness – not fault

In England and Wales, financial outcomes are driven by statutory principles of fairness. The starting point is full financial disclosure. The court will consider housing needs, income requirements, the welfare of any children, and the resources available to both parties.

For business owners, your business is usually treated as part of your marital assets, it includes business assets and ownership including shares, stakes or the full value of the business. Your business income and profits over the past three to five years (minimum) including your earnings, dividends, salaries and bonuses are all taken into account. Additionally, loans, overdrafts or other debts are factored in as well as your role in the business, whether you are an active director, partner or passive investor can all influence how income is assessed. Full disclosure is critical and there can be serious consequences for hiding assets.

2. Valuation is critical

Valuing a business for divorce purposes is not straightforward, and courts usually rely on independent expert valuations. There are several approaches that can be considered depending on the nature of the business.

A single joint expert (SJE) is commonly instructed to prepare a valuation report of the business to avoid disputes. The SJE will often be a forensic accountant, and they are appointed jointly by the divorcing parties to prepare an independent valuation to assist the court.

The asset-based method looks at what the business owns versus what it owes, essentially calculating its net assets. As the name suggests, this will be best for asset-heavy businesses such as those in manufacturing, construction, also businesses that are not profitable and for companies being liquidated.

The income-based method focuses on potential future earnings, estimating the present value of profits using industry-standard multipliers. This valuation is good for profitable businesses in professional practice or service-based businesses. This method reflects real earning power and is the most commonly used in divorce cases.

The market-based method compares your business to similar companies that have recently sold, providing a benchmark for its value.

Adjustments are often made to reflect practical realities. For example, illiquid assets, those that cannot easily be sold, may reduce the overall valuation. Courts are also mindful of the impact of selling a business, and protecting livelihoods of all concerned, see below.

3. Sale is not inevitable

One of the most persistent fears is a forced sale of the business. In reality, courts are generally reluctant to disrupt a viable business if there are alternative solutions. These may include structured settlements, deferred lump sums, offsetting against pensions or other assets, refinancing, or in some cases continued joint ownership for a period. Early legal advice often opens options that are not immediately obvious.

4. Partnership and company structures matter

Many businesses operate as partnerships or limited companies. The legal structure significantly affects how interests are assessed. Partnership agreements, company articles and trust arrangements should be reviewed at an early stage. Where documentation is outdated or informal, uncertainty increases, both commercially and emotionally.

It’s also important to clarify whether the business is marital or non-marital. Important issues include whether the business started before marriage and whether marital funds were used to grow it.

Other considerations are whether the non-owner spouse contributed (financially or otherwise) and if the business has increased in value during the marriage. Even if ownership predates marriage, the increase in value during the marriage may be divisible

5. Timing and communication are crucial

It is important to take advice before making financial decisions, transferring assets or agreeing informal arrangements. A measured, informed approach usually preserves more value, financially and personally, than a reactive one. Divorce involving a business demands sensitivity to both family and business realities. With the right professional input, it is often possible to achieve a fair outcome while safeguarding the future of the enterprise.

Mark offers a free initial 30-minute conversation for those who would like to understand their position before taking the next step. You can call on 01992 210779 or request a callback via the website.

About Mark Betteridge

Mark Betteridge is a family law solicitor with over 36 years’ experience, specialising in divorce, financial settlements, and contentious probate. He has handled high-net-worth cases and complex inheritance disputes, including assets exceeding £250 million, and has particular expertise in business, farming, and expat matters. Known for his calm, pragmatic approach, Mark balances robust representation with constructive, solution-focused guidance, supporting clients through both litigation and alternative dispute resolution.

Call 01992 210779 or request a callback via the website.
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Budget 2025: What Families Need to Know When Planning Separation or Divorce
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Budget 2025: What Families Need to Know When Planning Separation or Divorce

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Emma Davies
Emma Davies
Partner
Nelsons Law

The 2025 Autumn Budget brings several tax and financial reforms that could significantly affect separating couples, especially those with complex assets.

Emma Davies, partner and family law specialist at Nelsons, highlights that these updates make it even more important for families to plan ahead. Below Emma outlines the key changes and what they mean for those preparing for separation or divorce.

November’s Budget introduced a series of reforms that will shape how families manage their finances going through separation or divorce, some of these changes carry significant strategic implications.

While many headlines focused on support for lower-income families, the Budget also introduced reforms to the taxation of wealth, property income and investments. These shifts mean that separating couples, particularly those with complex assets, should take specialist advice earlier and plan their financial arrangements with even greater precision.

  1. Increased tax focus on wealth and asset income

A central theme of Budget 2025 is increased taxation on income derived from assets, including investment portfolios, rental properties and other passive income streams.

Why this matters during divorce

  • Asset-related tax liabilities can directly influence the value of a settlement.
  • Transfers of investment assets or property between spouses, traditionally tax-neutral, may now carry more considerations around future tax exposure.
  • Individuals with diversified portfolios will need to evaluate the tax efficiency of keeping or trading certain categories of assets, especially where maintenance obligations are involved.

The opportunity

This is the time to revisit tax planning, both before and during a divorce. With specialist advice and careful planning it is possible to preserve value and reduce future tax exposures.

  1. Property and investment portfolios require new strategy

Reforms affecting property income and the broader taxation of asset-derived wealth mean that real estate portfolios, buy-to-let interests and investment properties require closer evaluation during a divorce.

Potential impacts

  • Rental income may attract different tax treatment, affecting affordability of ongoing financial commitments.
  • Timing of asset disposals, particularly high-value properties or shares, becomes more important.
  • Practical takeaway

During negotiations, it’s no longer just about who gets what, but who can most efficiently hold a particular asset class going forward and it will be important to work in tandem with your family lawyer and other professional advisers.

  1. Pension and long-term wealth planning take centre stage

The Budget includes reforms to pensions and savings support including caps on salary sacrifice pension contributions which means these schemes will become less tax advantageous.  In turn, this affects long-term financial planning during divorce as the ability of divorcing couples to rebuild their pensions post-divorce needs to be considered and may affect how settlements are structured.

For individuals with substantial pension wealth, this means:

  • Greater scrutiny on how pensions are shared or offset.
  • Increased importance of actuarial valuation to ensure fair outcomes.
  • More strategic use of pensions as part of overall settlement structuring.

Given the complexity, specialist advice is highly recommended when reviewing pension division and post-divorce retirement planning.

  1. Tax threshold freezes: A slow-burning impact

Personal tax thresholds remain frozen, effectively pulling more individuals into higher tax bands over time (“fiscal drag”).

For some individuals, this means:

  • Increased exposure to higher tax rates on both earned and investment income.
  • Potential increases in effective maintenance obligations.
  • More need for forward-thinking cash-flow planning post-divorce.

This change subtly but meaningfully affects long-term affordability and financial planning for both parties.

  1. Changes to family benefits: Relevance for blended and larger families

Although primarily aimed at lower-income families, the abolition of the two-child limit for Universal Credit and related child benefits has indirect implications for separated parents, blended families and households with childcare responsibilities split between homes.

For clients with more wealth, the relevance is twofold:

  • It may affect negotiations where one parent has significantly lower income or earns irregularly (e.g. entrepreneurs, directors, or individuals with fluctuating asset income).
  • Where school fees, childcare, and lifestyle expectations are high, these changes may form part of broader discussions about child maintenance and living arrangements.

  1. The landscape is more complex – early planning is essential

The Autumn Budget 2025 creates a more complicated financial environment for separating couples, particularly those with:

  • High-value property portfolios
  • Significant investment income
  • Businesses or shareholdings
  • Trust structures
  • International assets
  • Large pension pots

Strategic advice at the earliest stage is crucial. The way assets are valued, shared, or retained now carries different long-term consequences than it did even a year ago.

Emma emphasises that, despite the added complexity, with the right advice families can still make informed and confident decisions about their future. If you’re considering separation or are in the early stages of divorce, Nelsons’ family law team can help you navigate the Budget’s implications and protect your long-term financial position.

To find out more about Nelsons’ family team, please visit: https://www.nelsonslaw.co.uk/personal-legal-services/family-law-solicitors/

For more information, please contact Huma Mian or Niamh Tracey at Cartwright on 0115 853 2110.

About Emma Davies

Emma is a partner and head the family law team at Nelsons. She qualified as a Solicitor in 2008 and has been at Nelsons since 2009.
Emma advises on divorce and financial settlements which involve complex issues and substantial assets. She also advises on pre and post nuptial agreements and separation agreements along with private law Children Act disputes. Emma is a qualified collaborative practitioner.
Emma’s areas of expertise include divorce, civil partnership dissolution, financial provision, collaborative law, pre-nuptial agreements, post-nuptial agreements, separation agreements, parental responsibility, child arrangements, and prohibited steps orders and specific issue orders.

About Nelsons: 

Nelsons was established in 1983 and provides support to businesses, individuals and families with their legal and investment needs. Nelsons’ experience and depth of resource has also enabled them to offer services to other solicitors through Fusion Legal – a mutually-beneficial referrals and support network for law firms. The firm is recognised by the leading, independently researched Legal 500 and is recommended by them in more than 20 practice areas. The firm is recommended by Chambers and Partners and also features in The Lawyer’s UK 200 Annual Report of the UK’s largest 200 law firms. Nelsons has offices throughout the East Midlands in Nottingham, Leicester & Derby

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Reclaiming Work After Divorce – Rights, Reality and Rebuilding Identity
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Reclaiming Work After Divorce – Rights, Reality and Rebuilding Identity

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Stephanie Cohen
Stephanie Cohen
Peter Burgess
Peter Burgess

How legal fairness and personal reinvention work together on the journey back to work

Article written by Peter Burgess, Senior Partner at Burgess Mee and FMC Accredited Mediator, and Stephanie Cohen, Career Coach and Founder at Passenger to Pilot.

The legal approach to maintenance

Over the last 25 years, we have seen a sea-change in the world of work and the relationship between careers and parenting. The seminal House of Lords decision in White v White in 2000 introduced the idea of a partnership of equals between husband and wife.

But although equality is now the lodestar for how financial division is carried out, there is one area in which parties are rarely equal.

Cases such as  SS v NS in 2014 saw the courts refine their approach to maintenance. After years of ‘joint lives maintenance orders’, maintenance is now assessed through the framework of being rehabilitative and needs-based, for fixed or extendable terms only.

The job market in a post-Covid world

In the post-Covid world, we are on the cusp of further changes to work, with the advent of AI and automation likely to make many traditional career paths redundant. This makes life even more complex for those looking for work after an extended period out of the job market. For a wife (as is still often the case) who finds herself at the end of a long marriage with children who becoming more independent, there is an expectation that she must find work to support herself within a short period of time, perhaps with some retraining. Typically, salary figures of between £20,000 and £40,000 per annum would be mentioned, depending on professional experience.  A spouse is therefore placed in the position of seeking work, coming to terms with the end of a relationship, while often bearing the brunt of childcare. It is no mean feat.

Returning to work after divorce: A different reality

Once that shift in legal framework is understood (the shift away from joint lives maintenance, the focus on rehabilitation and the expectation that an individual will return to work) a different reality enters the picture.  The law can assess needs and acknowledge career sacrifice, but it cannot account for a person’s internal experience as they must now rebuild or inhabit a working identity.  This is where financial fairness and emotional readiness often fall out of sync.

For many clients who seek out coaching, the private moment when they realise they must re-enter work feels less like a practical task and more like an existential one.  After years spent centring the home, children and a partner’s career, many describe their sense of professional self as being diminished or absent.  Even those who remained employed throughout the marriage often speak of a subtler erosion where confidence has shrunk, they feel “behind” professional peers or overwhelmed from the strain of holding down a job while carrying the weight of personal lives unravelling.   On paper their professional selves are intact, but privately they feel depleted or disconnected from the work they once did successfully.

This emotional landscape at this stage is often hidden in the legal process and can be best described as a complex mix of fear, fatigue and (sometimes) a flicker of excitement. Re-entering the workplace or shifting career goals can raise fears about being competent enough in a world that has moved on, as well as fatigue from the prolonged emotional labour of a marriage’s demise.  There can even be a fragile excitement about the possibility of reclaiming or redefining a career that feels like their own.  This is why returning to work, though originally framed as a financial step, can often also be an act of self-care, agency and identity repair.

Redefining career goals: a reset moment

As is often the case in advisory work or mediation, what is reasonable in legal terms may not always feel manageable in human terms. A timeline for returning to work can feel insurmountable to someone who has not inhabited their professional self in years or who has simply been surviving at work.  This can often be a disorientating experience. Bridging the gap works best when a client can take an approach that is both steadying and clarifying.  In our respective fields, our work starts with helping clients assert their legal rights and restoring the internal capability to live a full and self-actualised life.

In coaching, for example, that often begins with helping individuals understand who they are now as a professional, rather than who they once were. We explore the attributes that remain strong, those that are dormant and the new ones emerging in the wake of such significant personal change. Through our engagement, the process of “starting again” becomes a more grounded rediscovery of confidence and authorship. Clients who have been absent from the workforce entirely begin to see paths back in.  Others renegotiate flexible work so they can rebuild at a humane pace for themselves and their families.  Those who stayed in work can find steadiness and a renewed sense of themselves.

Exercise by Stephanie Cohen: Reclaim Space

Often, the turning point is not cognitive but embodied.  I use a simple exercise called “Reclaim Space”, where I ask my client to step into a busy lift, standing in the centre rather than the corner, and holding their place as others move around them.  No apologising. No shrinking.  Just quietly occupying their place in the world and giving themselves permission to do so.  What initially feels uncomfortable, for many becomes the first moment they feel themselves reappear after years of contraction.  From that point, returning to work (or returning presence to work) becomes more than an obligation.  It becomes a way back to self.

Read more articles by Peter Burgess.

About Peter Burgess

Peter co-founded Burgess Mee in 2013 after starting his legal career at Withersworldwide. With over 20 years’ experience in family law, he is recognised as one of London’s leading divorce lawyers, advising on high-value financial cases and complex children matters, including international relocations. He is also an FMC Accredited Mediator. His expertise has earned industry-wide recognition, including in Spear’s, The Legal 500 and Chambers UK. He is a Fellow of the International Academy of Family Lawyers and serves on Resolution’s National Committee. Peter has acted in significant reported cases, including Cazalet v Abu-Zalaf [2023] and AH v BH [2024], and co-authored International Trust and Divorce Litigation. He also co-created resources such as Within the Window and The Happy Co-Parent to support clients who are navigating trauma and co-parenting.

Visit Burgess Mee
Connect with Peter on LinkedIn

About Stephanie Cohen

Stephanie Cohen is the founder of Passenger to Pilot, a career coaching and advisory practice supporting senior leaders and high performers navigating transition, identity shifts, and high-pressure professional environments. She brings over 20 years of leadership experience at the highest levels of financial services and regulation, having previously served as Global Chief Operating Officer for BlackRock’s investment businesses and as an Executive Director at the UK Financial Conduct Authority. Drawing on this background, Stephanie now works with clients across sectors and regions to rebuild confidence, clarity, and professional presence during periods of change, including returning to work after divorce, career breaks, or significant personal upheaval. Her coaching approach blends strategic insight, psychological depth, and lived senior leadership experience to help individuals regain authorship of their careers.

Visit Passenger to Pilot

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How to Spot if Your Partner is a Narcissist
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How to Spot if Your Partner is a Narcissist

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Claire Chisnall
Claire Chisnall Senior Associate Consilia Legal

Abuse in a marriage or civil partnership can take many different forms, such as physical, sexual, financial and emotional. There are many types of emotional abuse, which are also often referred to as psychological abuse, and this is where the form of abuse is much more complex and can be due to one party having challenging personality traits such as narcissism.

Narcissism is often dismissed as a person being selfish, self-centred or self-absorbed, but this form of abuse is much deeper than that, and how a person uses this to manipulate situations and emotions can develop over many years and can be particularly damaging for the person on the receiving end. It is important to point out that not everyone that behaves badly in a relationship is a narcissist, narcissism is much more than poor behaviour this is a pattern of troubling personality traits which we refer to further below. 

What is narcissism?

Fundamentally, narcissism is a mental health condition called Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). It is a form of emotional manipulation which can stem from deep-rooted insecurities and a lack of self-esteem but manifests itself in many different ways, and sometimes this is not deliberate or intentional on the part of the perpetrator. Hence, a narcissist may be unaware that they are causing emotional strain on their partner, but on the other hand, some narcissists are aware and use their personality disorder to cause emotional harm. The recipient of narcissistic behaviour can feel trapped and helpless because the primary motivation of a narcissist is to have control and to manipulate, whether this is intentional or not.  

Common signs of narcissistic behaviour

Although all narcissists will behave slightly differently, and of course every relationship is different, there are common traits that you may be able to identify as narcissistic behaviour:

  • A sense of self-importance and entitlement
  • Can’t show any empathy or compassion to you as a victim or any friends or family of yours
  • Generally charming to you initially but will often keep up a charming persona to others 
  • Showing excessive affection and wanting constant communications at the start of a relationship, often called love bombing
  • Being jealous and envious of other relationships you might have
  • Displaying arrogance as a form of low self-esteem
  • Preoccupied by status and wealth 
  • Can demonstrate aggressive tendencies as they can’t regulate their emotions properly
  • Very sensitive to criticism of themselves and can’t tolerate imperfections in other people
  • Prone to publicly humiliating you and making a joke out of it 
  • Can be controlling and very manipulative. 

A narcissist will present with more than one of the above traits, and there are differing levels of narcissistic traits, with some being far more challenging and potentially dangerous. There is generally a pattern of behaviour that develops over time which presents itself as a cycle, where one minute your partner can be loving and the next be very dismissive of you, creating a feeling of rejection resulting in you seeking validation from them. This cycle can be very damaging to your self-worth and self-esteem, especially if this been going on over a long period of time. 

How to identify that your partner is a narcissist

Living with a narcissist can be exhausting and it will feel like you are always questioning yourself. It can also result in you developing low self-esteem and this could manifest itself in stress and anxiety where you feel torn between being loyal to your partner and escaping the situation. It is therefore important that you recognise the narcissistic traits in your partner and act on them. Here we have listed typical scenarios you might recognise:

  • Is your partner always seeking praise and admiration from you or other people?
  • Does your partner act like rules or laws don’t apply to them and that they deserve special treatment? Do they feel untouchable, as if they can do no wrong?
  • Do they like to portray a very charming character in public, but you know this is false?
  • Are they unable to take criticism on board?
  • Do they refuse to take responsibility for their actions?
  • Do they become excessive with flattery, gifts and seek commitment early in a relationship? Or after a fall-out?
  • Are they capable of giving you the silent treatment and stonewalling you for hours? 
  • Do they always make themselves centre of a conversation and show open disinterest in talking about you? 
  • Do they make you feel like nothing you do will ever be good enough?
  • Are they incapable of recognising the needs of you or other people? 
  • Do they act impulsively for attention, and show a reckless disregard for the consequences? 
  • Do they try to gaslight you and twist situations, so you feel like you are always in the wrong?  

Some of these traits are common in a partner and can be dismissed as playful or the normal ups and downs of a relationship. But it is very easy for these behaviours to become excessive and for a pattern to form which becomes abusive behaviour. The objective of the narcissist is to have control and to manipulate situations and emotions for their own benefit, and whether this is intentional or not, it is a form of emotional abuse. 

How to deal with a narcissist

Because a narcissist is hypersensitive, you often find yourself treading on eggshells around them and this makes it difficult to discuss the behaviour with them, and in some cases could result in the abuse taking on another form. If you have concerns about the behaviour of your partner and wish to escape the situation, it is important to speak to family and friends and seek their support. There are numerous resources available for those being subjected to an abusive relationship, such as the Domestic Abuse National helpline. You should take professional advice from an experienced family law solicitor, who will explain what your rights are and how you should approach a divorce and separation, or dissolving a civil partnership, if that is the course of action you have chosen.

About Claire Chisnell

Claire Chisnall, Senior Associate in the Family Team at Consilia Legal. Claire is a highly experienced family lawyer with a broad background across all areas of family law and is recognised for securing excellent outcomes for her clients through her calm, pragmatic approach.

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Pre-nuptial vs. Post-nuptial Agreements: Which One Do You Need?
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Pre-nuptial vs. Post-nuptial Agreements: Which One Do You Need?

Published on
Kaylee Justham
Kaylee Justham
Solicitor
Rainer Hughes

When approaching a milestone event such as a marriage or civil partnership, it is always a good time to reassess your financial position and put plans in place to protect yourself. This is particularly important if there is an imbalance in wealth between the two partners, such as one partner having business assets or a large inheritance. It is natural for that partner to wish to preserve or retain the wealth they have already accumulated, in the event of a future divorce or dissolution, particularly where there are children involved whose future needs are required to be considered. On the other hand, it is also sensible to plan ahead and determine how financial settlements should be arranged, in the event of a relationship breakdown, and this peace of mind is what a pre-nuptial and post-nuptial agreement provides. 

Pre-nuptial and post-nuptial agreements have previously been the domain of high-profile people and couples involved in a high net worth divorce or partnership dissolution, but they have become increasingly popular as people take sensible steps to avoid costly litigation in the event of a relationship breakdown, and at an already stressful time. 

What is a pre-nuptial agreement?

A pre-nuptial agreement is a formal agreement that a couple enter into prior to a marriage or a civil partnership. The agreement sets out how assets and financial arrangements will be divided in the event of the relationship ending, and therefore predetermines a financial settlement. This removes stress, provides clarity and avoids disputes which could result in costly court proceedings. A partner can use a pre-nuptial agreement to protect assets they have already accumulated from future claims, which UK laws might otherwise dictate are shared with the other partner. 

What is a post-nuptial agreement?

A post-nuptial agreement is very similar to a pre-nuptial agreement in terms of its contents and purpose, but this is an agreement entered into by two partners who are already married, or who are already in a civil partnership. A post-nuptial agreement also defines how assets and financial arrangements will be divided in the event of a relationship ending.  

The key differences between pre-nuptial and post-nuptial agreements

It is common for people to come to a decision that they wish to protect their own financial assets, and to provide clarity on how this is done, but this decision can be made at different times. Of course, these arrangements can be made before or after a wedding or civil partnership ceremony and therefore can be a pre- or post-nuptial agreement accordingly. However, there are other important differences in each arrangement which could suit certain people at certain times. 

  • Separation before divorce – A post-nuptial agreement can be useful in a scenario where a couple wish to separate, but have not yet decided that divorce or dissolution is the right conclusion. This could be due to various circumstances, including financial circumstances. In this event, a post-nuptial agreement acts as a holding position to define the current agreement, until such a time that a divorce or dissolution is decided upon and agreed to be the next course of action.  
  • Wealth accumulated during a marriage/civil partnership – It is also common for one partner to come into significant wealth during a marriage or civil partnership. This could be an inheritance, or through the sale of a business or a property owned prior to the marriage or civil partnership, for example. In this case, wealth protection is very important, and a post-nuptial agreement can clarify how this new wealth should be divided in the future.  
  • Condition – Although it is not considered a particularly romantic gesture and is considered by some to be putting a negative slant on an impending marriage or civil partnership, one partner may insist on a pre-nuptial agreement being put in place prior to the relationship becoming formal, and hence this becomes a condition that may even prevent the marriage or civil partnership going ahead. At the same time, it should be stressed that both partners have to enter into a pre- or post-nuptial agreement willingly and without pressure or duress, for it to be enforceable. 

The key difference is that a post-nuptial agreement can protect a partner in the event that circumstances change during a marriage or civil partnership, and these circumstances weren’t known prior to the marriage or civil partnership.  

What should pre- nuptial and post-nuptial agreements contain?

Common inclusions in a pre- or post-nuptial agreement are:

  • Property – Whether marital or non-marital
  • Bank accounts – Protecting individual income and savings and dividing joint accounts
  • Debts – Again, whether marital or non-marital
  • Maintenance – Arrangements for funding childcare 
  • Pensions – How these will be divided
  • Inheritance – Whether to keep separate and/or pass down to children
  • Valuable property – How items such as jewellery, artwork or valuable furniture is divided
  • Business interests – Dividing business assets and restricting sale or transfer if applicable

A pre- or post-nuptial agreement wouldn’t normally predetermine child arrangements, as these can change over time. It also wouldn’t include personal issues, such as clauses relating to lifestyle choices, household responsibilities or social media usage. 

What considerations should you make when preparing a pre- or post-nuptial agreement? 

A pre- or post-nuptial agreement is not yet a legally binding agreement in the UK, but they are usually given significant weighting by the courts in the event that certain conditions are met. These can include:

  • A pre-nuptial agreement should be entered into at least 28 days prior to a marriage or civil partnership, to avoid accusations that undue pressure or coercion was involved.
  • There should be full financial disclosure from both parties. 
  • Both partners were provided with independent legal and financial advice prior to formalising the agreement. 
  • The agreement is fair and reasonable for both parties and also prioritises the needs of any children involved in the relationship. 

Although a pre- or post-nuptial agreement requires both partners to look into the future and assess the likelihood of certain things happening, and many people might not like to do that, such agreements can provide an element of trust and peace of mind and prevents the possibility of disputes in the future. Ultimately, this can help to make the divorce, separation and dissolution process amicable and much less emotional.

About Kaylee Justham

Kaylee Justham joined Rainer Hughes Solicitors August 2023 as a Solicitor in the Family Department. Kaylee has over 10 years’ experience working in Family Law, starting off as a paralegal and Trainee Solicitor in which she qualified as a Solicitor in May 2018. Kaylee provides a wide range of services to her clients to include all aspects of family matters to include; matrimonial matters, cohabitation disputes and private children matters. Kaylee also has experience with drafting Wills, Legal Power of Attorneys and Deeds of Trusts.

Kaylee regularly represents her clients in Court and prides herself on her friendly, approachable, direct and forward-thinking manner. Kaylee understands the needs of her clients and strives to act in their best interests in helping them to achieve the best possible results.

Kaylee is considered an extremely safe pair of hands and is dedicated to listening to her clients and aiming to make the process as stress free as possible.

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