Dr Phil on Children of Divorce and their Parents

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I often watch and seek out videos that help in one way or other when it comes to issues around divorce and especially those around children and divorce.

Many have written on the effects of divorce on children and why children need both parents.

I have to say that if you read or watch just one thing around this topic please make it the video below by Dr Phil on children of divorce. It just really encapsulates what children of divorce need to make sure they do the best they can in their new life and chapter.

Children of divorce need as much help in coping with divorce. Many parents who are making it difficult for children to continue having a relationship with the other parent, either through parental alienation or by simply making it as difficult as possible for them to see one another, are often parenting from hurt, pain, anger and from a place of vengeance.

If this is you, realise that you may indeed be a toxic parent.

Children of divorce find themselves stuck in a situation chosen and created by parents. They are often confused, angry and lost.

The main and probably only people who can make it better for them are their parents.

If you are co-parenting with an angry ex or one who is uncooperative then sadly, it just means you’ve got more work to do in making sure your children’s fears and anxieties are contained. And if that container needs to be you then the best thing you can do is find and create your own support system that could include friends and extended family.


The children are picking up the tab for you running an emotional agenda and they will resent you for that in the long run. You may think you’re winning because you have the children and they’re clinging on to you and he’s on the outside looking in the day will come when they will look at you and say why did I have to grow up without my daddy?  I promise you this will backlash on you and you will remember the day that I said that to you if things don’t change here.

Dr Phil


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