Johnathan goes on to answer further questions that help define mediation as a divorce process including:
- Can mediation work for high net-worth individuals?
- Is family mediation about bringing the couple back together?
- What about confidentiality?
- Does working with a family mediator preclude working with a family solicitor?
So if you’re going through divorce or trying to deal with what you imagine is likely to be a difficult and challenging divorce, you may want to hear what Johnathan says about this particular divorce process.
Here’s part of what he had to say when asked to define mediation.
…When going through divorce, a family mediator will do is to take you through the process, in much the same way as a solicitor would in terms of the finances because there are certain legal things that have to happen when separating your finances but a mediator will do it for you in a much more streamlined fashion.
We do sit down with couples, and together organise the finances by looking at what the situation right now, what they both need to achieve going forward and we work out a way of dividing up their assets so that both parties are able to be content with the solution that they come up with. (Cont’d below)
We take that solution and put it together in a proper outcome document that can then be presented to the court for ratification in a consent order.
We do the same thing with the children. We sit down together, we work out, where the children will live, how they’ll move back and forth between the two parents, what’s going to happen over Christmas, what’s going to happen during half terms, holidays and all those sorts of things.
My goal is always to have parents feel that they are able to dance at their children’s wedding 10 years from now as opposed to dragging each other through the courts.
So mediation is a divorce process that helps you to achieve those very simple tasks while keeping your dignity and most of your finances intact.
What is family mediation NOT?
It is not a process where you sit down and get told what is right for you and what isn’t right for you.
It’s not a process where the family mediator sits there and makes a determination that you’re ex-partner has to be punished because he or she has behaved appallingly.
Family mediation is not a process where get specific legal advice but where you get a great deal of legal information. I can tell you for example if a court is likely to ratify and agreement or not. Everybody’s situation is different and our job is to make sure that you’re both content with whatever arrangement you come up with that is available to you within your resources.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Johnathan Pease, of New Landscape Mediation, is a highly experienced family mediator with over 20 years of experience working in family conflict resolution both as a mediator and Family Consultant.
A fully accredited BACP psychotherapist, Johnathan holds several qualifications with ADRg – including Direct Child Consultant (DCC). He is an accredited Civil/Commercial mediator, a member of the UK College of Mediators, and an affiliate member of Resolution.
Johnathan’s flexible and pragmatic approach to mediation makes the most of his understanding of interpersonal dynamics for the benefit of all concerned.
As a father of 2 children, and having experienced a family breakdown himself, Johnathan recognises that there are often many layers to the end of a marriage hindering a successful settlement than first meets the eye. Johnathan applies his varied training and life experience to the time sensitive and practical needs of family mediation with consistent success.