coping and deaing with divorce

When Your Kids Bring Up The Divorce Years Later

Published on
Carol Madden
Carol Madden
Separation and Divorce Coach
Carol Madden Coaching

My son was seven when I separated from his dad. He’s eighteen now.

Yesterday, we met for coffee and a catch-up. We haven’t caught up for a few weeks — he’s busy studying engineering at uni, working with kids in an after-school programme, and staying committed to his gym routine.

It breaks my heart a little, but this is what happens as our kids grow up. They start building lives of their own, as they should.

We get on really well. We laugh a lot. I’ve noticed he’s opening up more these days, especially about what his friends are going through as they start to face the reality of becoming young men.

I like this glimpse into his world. It gives me a chance to listen, and sometimes offer a little wisdom if it feels right.

Somehow, we ended up talking about the divorce. We don’t usually, but recently he’s brought it up a few times.

We were sitting on the beach, not far from the little house I rented just after the split. He was seven. His sister was four.

We started remembering that house together. How small it was, but how cosy it felt. It had ocean views and sunlight pouring through the windows. It felt safe.

He said that when he thinks back to our divorce, he always thinks of that house. He remembered feeling sad, but not really knowing why. I told him I felt really sad too. It was a hard time for all of us.

Hearing him talk about it now, from his young adult self looking back, stirred something in me. It wasn’t the same sharp guilt I used to feel. That knife has dulled a bit. But there’s still something there that sits uncomfortably in my body.

He remembered seeing a child psychologist back then. He’d developed sleep anxiety after the separation, and my ex and I organised support for him. Six sessions helped. After that, he was able to stay in bed and settle more easily.

He couldn’t remember everything they talked about, but he said he just felt better after each session. One moment stood out. The psychologist had asked him, “What will happen if you don’t get to sleep?” And he’d answered, “I’ll be tired at school, and I won’t learn anything.”

Sitting there on the beach, he reflected, “I guess my brain just needed something to hook into. I didn’t realise it was actually worry about you guys splitting up.”

As he said it, I felt that familiar ache rising. But I stayed with him. I shared my memories too. I didn’t brush it away. It still hurts to look back sometimes. That’s the reality of divorce when you have children. The grief doesn’t vanish. It gets quieter, but it lives inside you.

He told me he thought we’d had the best possible divorce. That he always felt loved and supported by both of us. That we did everything we could to stay connected as a family, even while things were changing.

I reminded him that back then, when he overcame his sleep struggles, I’d told him: You’re the one who got yourself through this. Not me. Not the psychologist. You did that. And now, that same strength can help carry you through other tough times you’ll face.

Divorce is sad. It affects everyone in the family. I’ve never pretended otherwise.

But the truth is, none of us can avoid sadness and grief in life. We all face loss at some point.

And while none of us would choose divorce, sometimes it chooses us.

It’s only when we come out the other side that we start to see the bigger picture. And even then, we still have moments of doubt. We wonder what if we’d tried harder. What if we’d done it differently?

But eventually, we come to trust that there was no other path. Even when it’s still murky.

That conversation with my son reminded me of this graphic I’ve shared on Instagram. It highlights beautifully to me how we don’t ‘get over’ our divorces and leave it all behind. We integrate the experience so that we can still experience love and happiness as we begin to heal.

That’s what this is. You don’t erase divorce grief. Especially when you share children and you keep parenting through all the stages that follow. There are always new milestones, new reflections, new chances to wonder what might’ve been.

As I dropped him back at his dad’s house, where he lives now that he’s in college, I felt that ache again. Not because anything was wrong. Just the quiet recognition that this grief wants to be felt sometimes.

It’s part of my story.

And knowing that, accepting that, is what helps me stay present when these moments come. It’s what allows me to sit with my kids when they need to revisit it, like my son did yesterday.

Not to fix.

Not to defend.

Just to sit beside him.

Even when it hurts.

About Carol Madden

Hello, my name is Carol Madden and I am a certified divorce coach working with clients around the world from my online practice in New Zealand.

I aim to help individuals navigate the often overwhelming emotions and practical considerations of separating from a spouse. I understand the unique challenges that divorce can bring, having been through my own divorce ten years ago.

I believe that divorce can be an opportunity for growth and positive change, rather than just a painful ending. Through my coaching, I help clients gain clarity and confidence as they move forward in their lives.

As a writer, I am excited to share my perspectives on divorce with readers seeking solid support during their separations. Whether providing tips for managing the emotional rollercoaster or offering practical advice for effectively co-parenting, I want to help others through this challenging time.

Discover me on social media:

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Pressure Is Where Divorce Mistakes Begin

Published on
Addy O
Author, Broken Scales Series

Most people assume the biggest mistakes in divorce happen in dramatic moments: a court hearing, a heated argument, a final settlement. But in my experience, the most damaging mistakes occur much earlier, when pressure first arrives and you do not yet realise how it is shaping you.

Pressure rarely announces itself with drama. It arrives quietly, disguised as urgency. A letter lands. An allegation is made. A response is demanded. Suddenly, a decision feels as if it cannot wait. You are still functioning, still speaking calmly, still trying to be reasonable, but something has shifted. Your thinking narrows. Time feels compressed. You begin reacting before you fully understand the consequences.

That is where mistakes begin.

My own divorce lasted five years and was marked by sustained conflict. It involved children, finances, allegations, and repeated procedural battles. Not every divorce is as intense, and not every couple will encounter the same escalation. But after speaking to many friends and acquaintances who have also been through the UK family law system, I have noticed a common pattern: people enter the process believing that fairness, reasonableness, and explanation will protect them. They often do not.

Early on, a friend who had already been through divorce told me, “There are four battlegrounds. And you can’t win on all four at once. You have to decide which ones matter most.” At the time, I did not fully understand. Later, I saw those battlegrounds: mental health, moral high ground, children, and finance. They are not separate arenas, but four fronts in one system. Pressure on one front affects all the others. And the first to collapse is usually the mind.

My clearest moment of recognition came when I saw a line in some solicitor’s notes: “Do things to put him under pressure.” It was not emotional or dramatic. It was calm, procedural, almost administrative. But it clarified something crucial. Pressure is not just a by-product of a failing relationship. It can be applied. Directed. Engineered.

That matters because when pressure increases, decision quality decreases.

Under pressure, people act in ways they never would in calmer circumstances. They over-explain. They respond too quickly. They try to correct every falsehood immediately. They agree to arrangements without understanding the wider implications. They assume that if they are cooperative enough, clear enough, reasonable enough, the system will reward them. In reality, early movement is not always wise movement.

Pressure has a very particular effect: it narrows perception before it narrows options. It accelerates response before understanding. It disguises itself as responsibility. You start to believe that immediate action equals control. It does not. Often, it is just reaction.

This is one reason divorce can feel so disorientating. You are not just coping with emotion. You are dealing with a process that amplifies vulnerability. You may already be grieving the end of a relationship, worrying about your children, calculating financial survival, and trying to preserve some dignity. Add legal correspondence, formal allegations, uncertain access to children, and the sense that each move could have lasting consequences, and it becomes all too easy to make decisions in a state of compression rather than clarity.

For me, the process became overwhelming at points. Allegations were made in formal statements I knew were untrue. They were written with certainty, signed with a Statement of Truth, and placed into the court record. When I produced material contradicting them, there was no immediate correction. The allegations remained, unresolved. That is difficult to explain to someone who has not lived it. It is not just upsetting. It can make you doubt your own judgement, your memory, even your instincts.

This is why understanding pressure matters so much. If you misread pressure as proof you must act immediately, you are more likely to make costly mistakes. If you recognise it for what it is; a condition, not an instruction, you create the possibility of protecting yourself.

There are some common signs that pressure is already shaping your decisions. You may feel compelled to reply immediately, even when nothing truly requires it. Your messages become too long, too defensive, or too sharp. You replay conversations at night, searching for the perfect wording. Your sleep fragments. Your body stays on alert. You become busier and busier, simply to avoid being still long enough to feel what is happening.

From the outside, this looks productive. From the inside, it is often just survival through motion.

The practical lesson I took from this is simple, though not always easy: do not increase output under pressure. Stay contained.

That does not mean being passive or giving up. It means recognising that the early phase of divorce is often when people do the most damage to themselves, by reacting before they understand the terrain. Containment means not over-explaining prematurely, not agreeing too quickly, not assuming that apparent reasonableness will be returned, and not treating urgency as if it is automatically wisdom.

In any pressured system, reducing unnecessary output creates space. Space allows perception to widen again. Only then can strategy begin.

For many, this is counterintuitive. Action feels safer than waiting. Movement feels like control. But some of the worst divorce decisions are made when you are still trying to be fair, still trying to calm things down, still assuming the process will operate according to ordinary human logic. Family law has its own logic.

Sometimes the wisest early goal is not victory, but survival. It is preserving your judgement. It is avoiding the irreversible mistake made in the first weeks or months, when you are most vulnerable to urgency and still hoping clarity alone will protect you.

Divorce is not just the end of a relationship. For many, it is the beginning of a system they do not yet understand. That is why pressure is so dangerous. It arrives before knowledge does.

If there is one thing I want readers to take from this, it is this: when everything feels as if it is tightening at once, your first task is not to fix everything. Your first task is to stop pressure from doing your thinking for you.

Sometimes, that is the beginning of getting through it intact.

About Addy O

Addy is the author of the forthcoming Broken Scales book series, which explores the psychological, procedural, and strategic realities of divorce in the UK family court system.

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When “We” Becomes “Me”: Finding Yourself Again After Divorce

Published on
Sarah-Jayne Covell
Sarah-Jayne Covell
Integrative Psychotherapist & Founder of Anchoring Therapy

The hardest part of my divorce wasn’t leaving.

It was the six years before that, the years spent trying to keep a family together while quietly knowing something had already broken.

Divorce rarely begins the day you separate. More often, it begins long before anyone else can see it.

For me, the beginning of the end came with betrayal.

My husband had an affair with our au-pair. Like many people in that situation, I stayed. Not because I thought it was acceptable, but because life was complicated and there were children involved. I told myself that families work through things. I told myself that stability mattered more than anything else.

So I carried on.

I kept the house running, the routines intact, the birthday parties sorted, and the school uniforms washed. If you had looked at our family from the outside, you might have thought everything was perfectly normal.

Inside, though, something had shifted.

I stayed for another six years.

In an unexpected twist, the au-pair later married my husband’s brother. You might think that would have closed the chapter, but life rarely ties things up so neatly. Eventually, the affair resurfaced again, and that was the moment I knew the marriage had reached its full stop.

Not a comma.

A full stop.

But leaving the marriage was only the beginning of a much longer emotional journey.

The Hidden Work of Divorce

One of the hardest parts of divorce isn’t the legal process, the paperwork, or even the separation itself.

It’s the emotional labour of continuing to function.

Many parents know this feeling well: you are breaking inside, but the school run still has to happen. Packed lunches still need making. Homework still needs supervising. Life carries on for the children, even when everything feels uncertain for you.

I remember one evening after a tough day, sitting with my daughters on their bedroom floor, folding laundry. I could tell they sensed something was wrong, so I made space for them to talk. We shared stories about our day, and I reassured them that even though things were changing, they were loved and safe, and none of it was their fault. Sometimes, it was just listening to their worries before bed or holding them a little longer on these nights. These small moments reminded me how important it was to offer stability in little ways, even when I felt unsteady myself.

So you put the mask on.

You keep things steady for them while quietly navigating your own grief, confusion, anger, and fear. From the outside, it may look like resilience, but often it is simply survival.

The strange thing about survival is that while you are busy holding everything together for everyone else, you slowly discover you are stronger than you ever realised.

And that is often where the rebuilding quietly begins.

The People Who Hold You Up

During my divorce, one person kept turning up.

A good friend would pop in regularly, checking in, offering conversation, and often cooking dinner for the children and me when life felt overwhelming. At the time, I saw it purely as friendship. He was simply someone kind who showed up when things were difficult.

Then one day, he stopped visiting for a while.

After a couple of months, the children began asking a very practical question:

“Why isn’t he cooking for us anymore?”

It was such a simple observation, but it made me pause. Somewhere along the way, this quiet support had become part of our lives without me even noticing.

It wasn’t until another friend laughed and said, “You do realise he wants to take you out?” that, started me to see things differently.

By then, I had already made a decision: I would never let another man into my life again. Divorce can do that. It can make you build walls where doors once were.

But life has a way of surprising us.

The friend who kept quietly showing up eventually became much more than that. The man I once saw as just support later became my husband. At a time when I thought I would never trust another relationship again, I found that sometimes the people who stand by you in your hardest moments are the ones who truly see you. But opening my heart again wasn’t instant or easy. It took time and patience to realise my fears were slowly softening, and that the kindness and consistency I felt with him helped me believe love could feel safe again. What told me I was ready wasn’t the absence of doubt, but a growing sense of peace when he was around, and the understanding that being loved didn’t mean losing myself. I could be myself! Trust rebuilt itself quietly, one small step at a time.

You can always make a U-turn on any path.

The Long Road of Family Relationships

Another long road was the relationship between my children and their father.

For nearly ten years, he did not see them. It would have been easy to close that door completely, but I believed that, where possible, children benefit from knowing where they come from. So I continued encouraging contact. That did not mean forcing a relationship or exposing the children to disappointment, but rather, leaving the door open with gentle reminders and invitations. Sometimes that meant sending photos or updates on milestones; other times, it was simply reassuring the girls that they could ask questions or reach out when they felt ready. Respecting their boundaries was crucial, as was protecting them from feeling rejected when efforts were not reciprocated. Over the years, I learned that the healthiest co-parenting did not mean constant contact or pretending everything was normal, but instead finding small ways to support curiosity, honesty, and gradual reconnection when both sides were willing. My advice is to trust your instincts, maintain clear boundaries, and focus on what feels safest for your children, even if the path unfolds slowly.

Over time, they slowly rebuilt a relationship with him. It may not look like the traditional father–daughter bond people imagine, but it exists, and that matters.

Divorce often reshapes families in ways we never expected. Relationships can become complicated, uneven, and sometimes fragile. But with patience and persistence, new versions of those relationships can sometimes grow.

What Divorce Taught Me

Looking back now, I can see that divorce didn’t simply end a relationship; it reshaped my identity.

When you’ve been part of a couple for many years, it’s easy to forget the parts of yourself that existed before the relationship. Divorce, though painful, can sometimes help you rediscover those forgotten parts.

For me, it meant returning to university as a mature student. What began almost like picking up an old hobby, something I had once been interested in but had quietly set aside during married life, gradually became something much more meaningful.

As I studied and reflected on my own experiences, I realised I wanted to help others navigate the same difficult terrain.

Divorce can feel like the end of everything you thought your life would be. But sometimes it also opens space for something unexpected: a chance to rediscover who you are and what really matters to you.

That journey eventually inspired me to write about identity during divorce, moving through and coming out the other side.

Although divorce may mark the end of “we”, it can also be the beginning of something equally important:

A return to yourself.

Divorce can feel like being thrown into rough water, leaving you disoriented, exhausted, and unsure where the shore is.

But eventually the waves begin to settle.

And when they do, you may realise that the strength you needed was there all along, quietly anchoring you until the tide turned.

And perhaps the quietest success of all is this: despite everything, my children grew up knowing they were loved, protected, and never responsible for the storm around them.

About Sarah-Jane Covell

Sarah-Jane Covell is an integrative psychotherapist based in North Yorkshire. She works with individuals and couples navigating life transitions, relationships and divorce. She is the author of When We Becomes Me: A Psychotherapist’s Guide to the Beginning, the Messy Middle, and the Other Side of Divorce. Feature: The Daily Wellness “Quiet Rebuilding Work” and  Counselling Directory “Divorce and the loss of identity”

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If you need emergency mental health support, here are some sources of help:

See your GP, visit A&E or call NHS Direct on 111

Call Samaritans on 116 123 for confidential, non-judgemental emotional support (not just suicide)

Ring the NHS Crisis line (24 hours a day on 0800 0516 171) to get in touch with your local crisis service

Text SHOUT to 85258 for free 24/7 mental health support

When We Becomes Me: A Psychotherapist’s Guide to the Beginning, the
Messy Middle, and the Other Side of Divorce : Buy your copy on Amazon

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I Just Want To Get Back To Normal: Why Divorce Is A Marathon Not A Sprint.
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I Just Want to Get Back to Normal: Why Divorce Recovery is a Marathon Not a Sprint

Published on
Carol Madden
Carol Madden
Separation and Divorce Coach
Carol Madden Coaching

The Long Game of Divorce Recovery

My inspiration this week comes from an interesting conversation I recently had with a person on Twitter. He struggles with the fact that even after three years, he still battles daily with co-parenting and trying to heal from his divorce.

He has two children under ten and says communication with his ex usually ends in high conflict.

He told me, “I just want things to return to normal again”.

The thing about divorce that most people get blindsided by is how long it takes to feel better.

Yes, there are things you can do to distract yourself from the pain, like new relationships or new challenges in your career, taking up new hobbies.

Yet, divorce just seems to have a way of returning to the front and centre of your life in cycles.

After sharing some communication tips with my friend on Twitter, I started reflecting on how I was tracking at the three-year mark after my divorce.

The Sound of Silence

It’s those moments late at night that get you. You hop into bed after the busyness of the day, and then there is nothing else. In the stillness of the dark, the thoughts come.

Memories of the past that were good, memories that were painful. Ironically, even some of the happier memories can make you feel sad because you know you can never go back to those times.

Fears of the future can ramp up anxiety….Will I love again? Will my kids be ok? Is this new relationship really what I need? Should I have taken time to be alone?

These thoughts can come even several years down the track.

Extreme guilt plagued me for a very long time. I went through periods of feeling good because everything seemed to be working, but when the stresses of life and the inevitable bumps in the road hit me and the kids, it triggered the guilt I felt that I couldn’t keep my marriage together.

When I went through an excruciating breakup five years after my divorce, I felt as though I had wasted all that time in a new relationship, trying to prove to myself that I was lovable and could make it work with someone after all. When it ended, it was like confirmation that I was defective.

I experienced a new round of heartache that triggered all my old divorce grief and pain to come flooding back. It took a long time to recover, and I’m thankful every day that I’ve finally healed from both my marriage and my first relationship post-divorce.

I have spoken to many people who have been 3–5 years down the track from their divorces. They are incredulous that they can still be emotionally wiped out after feeling like they are making progress.

Here’s the thing, it’s not like a band-aid. One rip, and it’s all over.

Divorce is an ever-evolving entity.

It might be smooth sailing for a few months or even a year or so. Then all of a sudden, you could find yourself going through an emotionally stressful time.

One of your children might go through a milestone or transition and start acting out in ways that stress and confuse you. You may be dealing with an illness in the family, job stress, or financial worries.

If you find yourself more stressed or worried than usual about something that is happening with your kids, your career or extended family, this could impact your co-parenting relationship, and you may find it harder to get along with your ex-spouse.

You can start to see that divorce recovery is not just a question of how much time passes.

You’re dealing with many unknown variables. Your ex-spouse and all of their life’s decisions, your children and all of the changes and experiences they will go through over time, new relationships and possibly new children that add different dynamics to the family unit.

Even if you don’t have children, you may find that several years down the track, you miss your ex-spouse or wonder if things could have been different.

A Marathon vs A Sprint

The best way to prepare for this realisation is to view divorce recovery as a marathon rather than a sprint.

Training for a marathon requires a different type of game plan than training for a sprint.

Just as athletes prepare themselves for endurance events, so should you prepare yourself for the long game when it comes to divorce.

With divorce recovery, you need high levels of self-care and self-awareness to ensure that you have enough energy and emotional resilience to make it through whatever comes your way over the years.

The number one thing you can do to help yourself is to identify all the things you can control and then set goals around achieving them. (While at the same time giving yourself grace when things don’t go 100% right).

Once you identify those things you can control, you can work on letting go of all the things you can’t. Stress, anxiety and burnout all come from trying to control those things that are simply not in your control.

Let’s look at some things that you do have control over:

  • Your thoughts
  • Your reactions
  • The rules and expectations in your own household
  • How you communicate with your children
  • How you support your kids and provide for them
  • What sort of food your children eat
  • How you manage your finances
  • Your physical and mental well-being
  • Your coping strategies when you’re under stress

Now let’s look at the things you have no control over:

  • Rules and expectations at your ex’s house
  • What your ex says to your children
  • How your ex manages their finances
  • Who your ex chooses to be in a relationship with
  • What your kids eat or wear when they’re with your ex
  • Your ex’s ways of coping when they are under stress

You get the picture. These are of course not extensive lists, but it gives you an idea of where you may be expending your energy where it’s not doing you any good.

Seek Support

Letting go is not easy. It can invoke fear in us. It’s helpful to talk to someone who can guide you to identify what you need to focus on and find the strength to let go of what you have no power over.

It sounds daunting, but once you can get into the practice of only putting energy into the actions that support your well-being, your life becomes more manageable, co-parenting becomes more peaceful, and you can start to feel happy and ‘back to normal’ again.

I hope that wherever this post finds you, you are in a place of feeling strong and capable as you navigate your divorce recovery.

More articles by Carol Madden.

About Carol Madden

Hello, my name is Carol Madden and I am a certified divorce coach working with clients around the world from my online practice in New Zealand.

I aim to help individuals navigate the often overwhelming emotions and practical considerations of separating from a spouse. I understand the unique challenges that divorce can bring, having been through my own divorce ten years ago.

I believe that divorce can be an opportunity for growth and positive change, rather than just a painful ending. Through my coaching, I help clients gain clarity and confidence as they move forward in their lives.

As a writer, I am excited to share my perspectives on divorce with readers seeking solid support during their separations. Whether providing tips for managing the emotional rollercoaster or offering practical advice for effectively co-parenting, I want to help others through this challenging time.

Discover me on social media:

You might be interested in

Our Successful Nesting Co-Parenting Arrangement Benefited From a Team of Professionals.
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Helping Children Cope with Divorce: 6 Essential Steps

Published on
Soila Sindiyo
Soila Sindiyo
Psychologist and Founding Editor
TDM

Divorce happens. And as soon as the children know about it, that moment, can become a watershed moment for your child or children. However, as much as divorce is important, what is even more crucial is how it’s handled.

The divorce process is already physically, emotionally and mentally challenging making it extremely hard to play the good, attentive and caring parent as much you would like to.

You will make mistakes no doubt. You will say things and do things with your child in the room that you wish you hadn’t. Then you will spend time worrying that you have somehow permanently damaged your child.

“Crazy” moments like these, that are not consistent and repetitive, are quickly and easily mended with an acknowledgement from you to them that it shouldn’t have happened followed by a genuine apology.

Divorce being the delicate, confusing and life-changing time that it is, here are some important things to keep in mind when looking after your children:

  • Don’t go it alone! Get yourself some support. This is said so often yet it’s amazing how so many don’t do it and continue walking around like some sort of warrior person. You see without support, good, strong and objective support, you will crack. And when you do, the people closest to you will be the first to be affected and those people are very likely going to be your children. So put your own support system in place.
  • Don’t assume that your children understand why your marriage ended, especially the younger ones. You know why and your partner knows why too but for children, splitting up the family to make life better may not make any sense and if it doesn’t make sense then they cannot cope with it all. So do, pay attention to the questions they ask and try and answer them in the best way possible without painting their other parent as the horrid, evil villain – even if it’s true. Remember as Haim Ginott says, children never ask questions to which they know the answer
  • Avoid making promises that you know you won’t or cannot keep. Don’t say things on the spur of the moment just to make them feel better knowing that in time, the truth will reveal itself and they will be left feeling crushed. For instance don’t promise that you will get back together or that you will see them every weekend if you know that that will never be the case. If you don’t know what will happen, tell them exactly that.
  • Create parenting plans that are child centred and appropriate for their age as opposed to what works just for you. An 18-month toddler cannot build a good and loving relationship if he only sees his father once a month for one day. A parenting plan created for a three-yea-old is unlikely to work the same way on a 13 year old. So be prepared to adjust the plan as your child grows.
  • Do let your child’s school know what’s going on. Don’t ask your children to keep affairs of the home secret. It’s not fair. You school-aged child spends most of his/her/their waking time at school so they will need looking after there as much as at home.
  • A stitch in time saves nine. If you are concerned about your child’s changes in behaviour, then do contact a professional as soon as possible.This person can help you continue parenting your child as you would like. It doesn’t mean you’re incapable of doing this, on the contrary, it means that you are continuing to look after your child by getting you and him/her help so as to make them feel better as they rebuild their lives.

Divorce is a watershed moment in the life of any child, no matter how amicable the whole process is.

Having said this, divorce needn’t be a trauma that permanently changes who your child is. Handle it well and it will be something your child went through at some point in his/her life as opposed to something that now and forever defines who they are.

Read more articles by Soila.

About Soila

Soila is a child development psychologist and the founding editor of The Divorce Magazine. She is known for easing the pain of trauma and loss in children, adolescents and their families and has been working with children and families for almost two decades.  Soila holds a BSc (Hons) in psychology from the Open University and an MSc in Psychoanalytic Developmental Psychology from UCL (University College London). She is an accredited Positive Parenting Program (Triple P) practitioner and very recently completed her professional doctoral training in Counselling Psychology and is awaiting registration.

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Breaking Bad News: How To Tell People You're Getting Divorced
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Breaking Bad News: How To Tell People You’re Getting Divorced

Published on
Carol Madden
Carol Madden
Separation and Divorce Coach
Carol Madden Coaching

Divorce is a deeply personal and life-altering decision; sharing this news with your family and friends can be terrifying.

It’s not just a case of taking a deep breath, saying it once and moving on. You have to say it several times over to a wide range of people.

However, honest and brave communication is crucial to maintaining healthy relationships and providing your loved ones with the support and understanding they need during this transition.

I remember living with the stress of knowing we needed to get the ball rolling on our separation, yet also dreading the conversations I knew I would have to have.

Here are some essential tips to help you navigate the process of informing your family and friends about your divorce with confidence, empathy and mindfulness.

Choose the Right Time and Setting to Talk About your Divorce

Choosing the right time and setting to have this conversation is vital. Consider finding a quiet, comfortable environment where everyone can focus and freely express themselves.

Avoid sharing the news during emotionally charged moments or important family events if you can.

Prepare Yourself Emotionally

Preparing yourself is crucial before sharing the news. Acknowledge that different family members will react in diverse ways.

Be ready for a range of emotions, from surprise and sadness to confusion and even anger. Build your own emotional resilience by reminding yourself that your decision is based on what is best for everyone’s emotional well-being in the long run.

Be Honest and Concise

When discussing your divorce, be honest and concise without going into excessive detail. Explain your decision without assigning blame or involving others in the reasons you are deciding to end the marriage.

Try not to fall into the trap of feeling as though you have to justify. Make peace with the fact that some people in your life may never truly understand your decision. It’s not your job to convince them that this choice is right for you and your family.

Focus on the positives that will come from ending a marriage that is not working and is taking an emotional toll on everyone. Emphasise that this decision was not taken lightly and was made in all parties’ best interests.

Express Empathy and Understanding

Recognise that your loved ones may experience various emotions in response to your news. Offer empathy and understanding as they process the information and allow them to express their feelings.

Encourage open communication and actively listen to their concerns and questions without becoming defensive. Remember, they are grappling with their own emotions and may need time to adjust to the changes.

Reassurance is Important

Although it might seem odd that you have to support your family members when you are the one who is going through emotional hell, you have to be mindful of the fact that it’s highly likely you’ve had a lot more time to get your head around this happening than they have.

I was taken aback when I told my nephew and his girlfriend about our separation, and they both started to cry. I ended up having to comfort them. I wasn’t expecting it, and it made me feel awful that I’d made them feel that way.

Assure your family and friends that your decision to divorce does not diminish your love and care for them. Let them know that you will continue to be a part of their lives. Change can be worrying, and your friends and family want to know that some things won’t change.

Dig Deep When They Make Mistakes

Friends, family, co-workers, neighbours. Everyone has something to say when you let them know that your marriage is ending.

Some will murmur sympathetically. Some will tell you all about their sister’s friend’s daughter’s niece who got divorced (Fun!). Some will put a knife through your heart with flippant comments without realising it.

One acquaintance of mine looked at me like she was going to fall down to her knees and said, ‘What about the kids??!!’.

I needed that like a hole in the head.

I had to breathe through many conversations and try to find understanding and forgiveness when I wanted to tell them all to shut up and mind their own business.

Telling people is a necessary part of the process. Dig deep when well-meaning people say stupid things.

Maintain Boundaries and Privacy

While it’s essential to communicate openly with your family and friends, remember that certain aspects of your divorce are personal and private.

Establish boundaries regarding what you’re comfortable sharing and ensure that your loved ones understand and respect your need for privacy.

It’s okay to set limits and redirect conversations when they become too intrusive or uncomfortable.

Simply state, “That’s all I’m ready to talk about at the moment”. End of story.

Final Thoughts – Telling Your Loved Ones About Divorce

Telling family and friends about your divorce is a significant step in facing the reality of your marriage ending.

It’s challenging when you have to have a difficult conversation many times over. You can make it easier on yourself by being prepared with an ‘elevator speech’ ready to go and by being assertive when you want to end the conversation for now.

Remember, your decision to pursue a divorce is about prioritising your happiness and creating a healthier future. Stay true to yourself, seek support when needed, and approach the process with compassion for both yourself and your loved ones.

Discover more articles by Carol Madden.

About Carol Madden

Hello, my name is Carol Madden and I am a certified divorce coach working with clients around the world from my online practice in New Zealand.

I aim to help individuals navigate the often overwhelming emotions and practical considerations of separating from a spouse. I understand the unique challenges that divorce can bring, having been through my own divorce ten years ago.

I believe that divorce can be an opportunity for growth and positive change, rather than just a painful ending. Through my coaching, I help clients gain clarity and confidence as they move forward in their lives.

As a writer, I am excited to share my perspectives on divorce with readers seeking solid support during their separations. Whether providing tips for managing the emotional rollercoaster or offering practical advice for effectively co-parenting, I want to help others through this challenging time.

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When children of divorce become caregivers.
Photo by Chayene Rafaela on Unsplash.
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When Children of Divorce Become Caregivers

Published on
Soila Sindiyo
Soila Sindiyo
Psychologist and Founding Editor
The Divorce Magazine

I often say that it’s ok for children of divorce or separation to see you upset, distressed, and crying when going through the process.

It is important for them to know that you too are hurting because by knowing this and by showing your emotions, you are inadvertently giving them permission to feel the pain and hurt that the divorce process gives rise to and just to show them that you are indeed human after all.

It’s usually very difficult for children of divorce, especially a sensitive one, to watch their parent fall apart and not do anything about it or feel that they are somehow responsible for the sadness or breakdown. They will very often do their best to rectify the situation by taking care of you, in the best way that they know; asking you if you’re all right, if they can get you something or do something to make you feel better.

This is a very normal reaction to a specific situation but allow it to become the norm or go on for too long and you’re changing your child’s life trajectory. When a child becomes a caregiver they become your advisor, your mentor, the person looking after you. This set-up is definitely not conducive to helping children cope with divorce.

When a parent makes a statement like, “Sophia takes care of me. She doesn’t like to see me sad and will sometimes just come and put her arms around to make me feel better,” the first question that comes to my mind is, “And whom does Sophia turn to? What does Kimani do with his own feelings and thoughts of fear, confusion, and loss?

The answer to this is most likely that they suppress them or blocks them because there is nowhere else to take them. There is no adult container for their adverse and undesirable thoughts and feelings.

“When a child turned caregiver tries to attend to her own needs and wishes, she feels guilty and undeserving…When a child forfeits her childhood and adolescence to take on responsibilities for a parent, her capacity to enjoy her life as a young person, develop close friendships and cultivate shared interests is sacrificed…it is an overburdening that seriously inhibits the child’s freedom to separate normally and to lead a healthy adolescence…”[1]

So, it is okay for your child to see you cry, be distressed, and upset because fact is that the divorce process is a difficult journey for all to be on.

It is beneficial and advantageous for them to know that you are hurting too but, hard as it maybe, we need to continue being the parents and the adults in the room, the container and processor of your child’s feelings of anxiety, fear and confusion in seeing the family unit he once knew disintegrate into something unfamiliar and foreign.

[1] Wallerstein, J., Lewis, J., and Blakeslee, S.,(2002), ‘The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25 Year Landmark Study.’

Read more articles by Soila

About Soila

 Soila is a child development psychologist and the founding editor of The Divorce Magazine. She is known for easing the pain of trauma and loss in children, adolescents and their families and has been working with children and families for almost two decades

Soila holds a BSc (Hons) in psychology from the Open University and an MSc in Psychoanalytic Developmental Psychology from UCL (University College London). She is an accredited Positive Parenting Program (Triple P) practitioner and very recently completed her professional doctoral training in Counselling Psychology and is awaiting registration.

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Joy after your divorce.

Let Photographs Bring you Joy after your Divorce

Published on
Linda Simpson
Linda Simpson
Divorce and Parenting Consultant
Writer and Speaker

Today we chronicle and upload every last little moment of our worldly togetherness in pictures and videos.

At the end of a marriage there will be many visual reminders of what life was like before your world took a detour.

Those smiling faces stare at you as you look back in bewilderment wondering how real your marriage could have been.

No matter what the circumstances of your divorce, remember that your own happiness, if it was truly there, was real for you. What others were thinking and feeling is beyond your control.

Pictures are the visual words of my life. Through marriage, separation, divorce and family rebirth pictures chronicle those life moments.

In my mind, I was happily married for many years.

There were yearly family portraits and the camera was rolled out for every extended family gathering and holiday.

But then my family life got derailed. My spouse walked out and so over twenty years ago we became a family of three. As a single parent it was my spirited determination that we would continue as usual and not let the number three change the family tradition. Photographs were a unifying force.

In fact, the very first thing I did after my former spouse left was take my sons off to the photographer and have a family portrait done. We look young and fragile, mother and sons, but we are united in the camera frame.

At that time I collected all the casual family pictures that included my former spouse and sent them on to him.

Many years later he told me they all still sat in the big brown envelope thrown in a corner of his home office. Odd how there can be different priorities in a family, where, for some, photographs are nothing but a cipher in a life lived long ago.

After the divorce, there was the question of what to do about those wedding photos. No one smiling in those very formal 1970’s pictures knew that some twenty-five years later the marriage would be over. In that photo purge after the marriage breakdown I decided, for some forgotten reason, to keep the wedding photos stored in a cardboard box titled “family memorabilia”.

There was a certain irony in the aftermath of a recent minor flood in the basement of my home. The cardboard box containing the wedding photos was damaged but not the pictures.

Pictures have become a touchstone for our family threesome over the past twenty years. Scattered throughout my home are framed photos of the smiling faces of my children and grandchildren.

The poet Mary Oliver wrote, “Joy is not made to be a crumb.”

Pictures helped me find that joy in life after my divorce. As I learned to smile openly, effortlessly for the first time in my life, my picture collection reflected a new and happy me.

The family cottage is where the chronicles of our life after divorce line the walls with a hodge podge batch of photos that go right back to our threesome over twenty years ago and all the way up to the burgeoning family of nine we have today.

There are special collections I mount in photo collages.

This past summer, just as my sons do at each visit, my young grandsons took delight in finding themselves in varying stages of babyhood from previous cottage visits in those frames on the wall. The generations are lovingly bound together within our photomontage.

Whenever the opportunity presents that both sons are home or we are all together as we were last spring, there is another threesome family portrait. In the early post-divorce years I see a look of bewilderment masking some of our smiles. It took us a while to regain our footing after the breakup. It was an astonishingly sad time.

There is one favourite photo of mine I call ‘Top of the Mountain”. The three of us are literally and figuratively atop a mountain in the Rockies. Taken just a few years after the family breakup, we three had finally found the way forward. This photo represented a turning point in our new family life.

That underlying mask of sadness is gone. There’s a sliver of sun over the crisp, white mountain tops in the background. Smiling broadly and effortlessly into the camera, we had truly arrived in our future.

When a marriage ends, those old photos litter our lives reminding us of what was and is no more. In your new life, surround yourself with photos that bring you joy. You will know which ones to choose just by looking at them.

ABOUT LINDA SIMPSON

“I take strength from your calm, your honesty, and the hope you give me for my future.” Cheryl 

Linda is a fresh voice in the divorce advice world. She offers a pragmatic, common sense approach to life after divorce issues based on over twenty years surviving and thriving following a very traumatic divorce.

As a single parent, her sons are an enormous source of joy in her life. Linda is a loving mother and grandmother to four delightful grandchildren.

She holds a degree from the University of Waterloo with concentrations in sociology and philosophy and guidance counselling certification from Queen’s University.

She is an accredited trainer for The Peace Education Foundation, a leader in conflict resolution training. The institute is ‘dedicated to educating children and adults in the dynamics of conflict resolution and promoting peacemaking skills in home, schools, and community.’

In a long and successful teaching career, she also served as a counsellor and workshop facilitator for SEL (social emotional learning) programming and The Peace Education Foundation throughout her school and school district and was a frequent conference presenter for SUNY Potsdam Faculty of Education USA.

She writes for The Divorce Magazine UK and her blog is seen regularly on Huffington Post Canada where the focus is life after divorce and parenting issues.

She is a writer and poet and is presently at work on a book based on her divorce experience.

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Divorce after the Holidays
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Divorce after the Holidays

Published on
Women and Divorce
Wendi Schuller
Author of
The Global Guide to Divorce

Some people have chosen to stay together until after the holidays for a variety of reasons.

It may be to give the children one last Christmas together.

One agony aunt printed a letter from a woman whose daughter-in-law is filing for divorce at the beginning of the year. She questioned what to buy an exiting in-law for Christmas and how to deal with this charade around her grandchildren (who are not informed of the upcoming parental split).

A couple may be hoping that the holiday season will patch up any holes in their relationship. The magic of Christmas does not extend to fixing a broken marital partnership.

The holidays can shine a spotlight on problems that are bubbling up just under the surface. Busy day to day activities with a packed schedule can mask issues that are not being addressed. When one or both have long job commutes or kids with jammed agendas, this enables a couple to pretend that everything is okay.

When interacting with each other (or attempting to avoid it) during holiday time off from work, spouses can feel empty inside.

When holidays are lonelier being married than they ever were when single, this is a warning that something needs to be done. Holidays can be the big wakeup call that you really do not want to be with your partner for the next set of holidays the following December.

After a few excruciating New Year’s Eves with her husband, a woman thought over their relationship.  Coming to the realization that she did not ever want to be alone with him, pushed her into ending her marriage. Although now divorced, her solo New Year’s Eves are something she anticipates rather than dreads.

The holidays are over and people are thinking about New Year resolutions or changes that they want to make in their lives.

This introspection is one reason that divorce solicitors and mediators are extra busy in January and February. Feeling hollow and that the holidays were lacking something, can point that all is not well with an area in life. If things are going fine at work, with kids and so forth, then look at your marriage.

Some spouses do not see that they are avoiding each other by participating in a whirlwind of holiday events.

People that are only staying together for the sake of the kids may find holidays extra challenging.

A parent who was trying to stay married until at least her youngest daughter was close to going to uni planned a cruise over Christmas. Yes, she only had to be with her spouse in a festive group setting, but the cruise only slightly delayed the inevitable. She filed for divorce the following February long before her target date.

The holiday cruise was merely a distraction from her toxic marriage, not a solution.

The holidays may have highlighted some hidden issues, so see if your relationship can be salvaged. Talk to your spouse about your relationship to determine if they are also having questions or issues. Some do this when walking which makes it easier to open up without having to make eye contact.

Others may choose to discuss their relationship at the pub or over a glass of wine. If things are not resolved, consider marital counselling.  If your spouse refuses to do so, then go alone.

If you get a divorce this year, The Divorce Magazine has plenty of suggestions how to have happy holidays when single.

ABOUT WENDI

Wendi Schuller is a nurse, hypnotherapist and is certified in Neuro-linguistic Programing (NLP).

Her most recent book is The Global Guide to Divorce and she has over 200 published articles.

She is a guest on radio programs in the US and UK. Her website is globalguidetodivorce.com.

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What are the Possible Consequences of Divorce?

Published on
Nigel C Winter - Partner in the Family Department of Rawlison Butler solicitors
Nigel C Winter – Partner in the Family Department of Rawlison Butler solicitors

In the first of a series of articles rb’s Family Law team look at the impact of divorce upon children, a family’s finances and in this article the individuals concerned.

One of the biggest problems of a relationship breakdown is who to talk to.

Frequently the parties rely upon friends or associates who have been through a relationship breakdown and this can often be one of the most misleading sources.

Research shows that groups of friends who have couples going through relationship breakdown are often affected by this.

Furthermore single sex groups often have a particular “spin” on the consequences or in some cases what they would like others to perceive as the “benefits” of their own separation.

The reality is far more complex. It is also clear that considerable thought should be given before taking this significant step, as the impact continues far longer than people often realise.

One thing that the research does show is that stable relationships are beneficial.

Whatever the short term benefits of leaving a relationship that isn’t perceived as working, the parties tend to experience social isolation and irregular contact with their children.

Although a separation may be seen as the panacea to all of the relationships problems, after the initial parting, loneliness and unhappiness can often follow. In the “sober light of morning” parties often indicate that they remain deeply attached to their partners even when the legal ties have been broken.

Notwithstanding the above, some people are better able to handle separation and divorce than others.

Those that emerge happier are those who come from high conflict or even violent relationships. Furthermore those that embrace the significant changes in their lives and work on maintaining old friendships or establishing new ones fair much better.

Although parties going through divorce may indicate that they are happier, that may be because of other factors such as their financial position.

That financial position will dictate the lifestyle that they have hereafter and research has found that people with greater personal resources, including a higher income or higher level of education cope so much better.

This makes sense when one considers that two parties to a marriage/relationship are shouldering the burden of family life together and upon breakdown those responsibilities can be doubled.

Furthermore modest resources which are divided between two people often leave lower income families with insufficient to meet even their most basic needs.

It therefore appears that divorce, like marriage or relationships does depend upon each individual family and their own particular circumstances.

However, when people receive informal advice they often don’t factor in the subtle differences in situations between the person giving the advice and the person receiving it. In blunt terms, a lady who has a choice of homes to live in after divorce is going to find life so much easier than one who is only entitled to 50% of the proceeds of sale from a “two up two down”.

Therefore, there is a very real danger that in a social setting an individual contemplating separation will receive all the wrong advice.

Despite what anyone tells you, when you separate you do not go back to leading the carefree easy life of a twenty-one year old! It is not an endless party because everyone else has moved on and social isolation often follows.

Day to day to activities of home, work and childcare are more difficult to carry out alone. Support networks change, sometimes because it is perceived that you will be requiring more from the network than you can possibly contribute yourself.

Furthermore divorced individuals often find they have less in common with their married friends and some have reported that they are even a threat to the stability of their married friends’ relationships.

In relationships where there are children there have been great changes in recent years. For example the proportion of single fathers raising their own children has tripled in a generation.

Whilst mothers were able to manage a work/life balance in a relationship they find it difficult after separation to be successful at home and work without even considering the prospect of a social life.

One fact that is startling and unforeseen is the degree of dependency upon ex-partners or ex-spouses. Many concede privately that they remain emotionally dependent upon the other even when a divorce or separation is concluded.

Research is showing that whilst a Court can divide up property and other responsibilities such as child care, it cannot decree an emotional clean break.

Few of these factors are easy to convey in a social setting. However it is better that they are properly considered before making a final decision, rather than having to reflect upon the consequences in solitude.

About Nigel

Nigel C Winter is a partner in the Family Department of Rawlison Butler Solicitors, based in the South East of England. He has been practicing family law for over two decades, is a collaborative lawyer and a regular contributor to a wide variety of publications on Divorce and Family Law.

He has been practicing family law for over 2 decades, is a Collaborative lawyer and a regular contributor to a wide variety of publications on divorce and family law.

 

Did you know? There are online videos at:-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKsjD1sqe-U

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Coping with Divorce in 5 Simple Steps

Coping with Divorce in 5 Simple Steps

Published on
Adele Theron Speaker, Author and Founder of The Naked Divorce
Adele Theron
Speaker, Author and Founder of
The Naked Divorce

Adele Theron is the founder of The Naked Divorce that has a 21 Day program on helping people in coping and dealing with divorce.

Today she gives us tips on coping with divorce in 5 simple steps.

Understanding that we are very likely not to feel brilliant and happy all the time; that there will indeed be moments shrouded by unhappiness, anger or sadness is just one of the first steps you can take in coping and dealing with your divorce and divorce process.

The critical thing is not invalidating those emotions but accepting that that is how you’re feeling and then dealing with them as opposed to suppressing them.

Name that emotion. What is it? Is it anger? Is it frustration, sadness or an overwhelming feeling of vengeance.  This is an important step to moving on from a broken relationship.

We need to remember that we cannot control the arrival of an emotion and by using language to conceptualise it in a way that you describe what it is, it just gives you that release.  That may explain why, when you do open up to someone about how you’re truly feeling, you actually feel better afterwards.

Listen, learn, enjoy and use the tips that Adele shares with you in Coping with Divorce in 5 Simple Steps

ABOUT ADELE

Adele (www.nakeddivorce.com) is an author, executive coach and change management specialist who has spent the past 19 years helping people cope with change and overcome trauma.

Adele has worked within large international corporate programmes so this is why she and her team are so results driven.

She has worked with over 6,500 people to achieve rapid transformation and has published several books and articles and has been featured in nearly a hundred publications across the globe.

Adele works globally and as your Divorce Angel, you can count on her to handle anything complex. With the hundreds of people she has counselled through divorce there isn’t a situation she have not seen or encountered.

Adele specialises in family issues, multiple traumas, PTSD treatments and divorce planning. She runs all the Naked Divorce Retreats in Thailand, the Miracle programmes and runs Group sessions.  

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How to Beat the Post-Divorce Blues

Published on
Women and Divorce
Wendi Schuller
Author of
The Global Guide to Divorce

It is easy to feel overwhelmed when stress and loss mounts up in divorce.

Going through monumental changes and downgrading one’s lifestyle can result in feeling blue. There may be financial worries and the realization hits that one will see the children only part-time.

If a person is prone to depression all of this turmoil can be a trigger that pushes one down that slippery slope.

One way to stop melancholy moods is with distraction. When sadness is like a DVD playing over and over in your head, substituted it with happier ones. The blues may hit unexpectedly like a huge wave, and that is when I mentally insert a DVD of fun times on holiday.

Sometimes I can banish morose feelings when looking at our holiday photos and reminiscing about our adventures.

Many people have expressed being in nature rejuvenates them. This is as simple as eating lunch outside or taking a stroll in a leafy area to lift one’s mood. There are hundreds of studies that back up the physical and mental health benefits of being out in nature.

A study out of The Netherlands analysed records of 195 doctors with the focus of seeing if living near a green space was beneficial to well-being. They found that there were less “disease clusters” for those who lived within 1 kilometre of a green space.

This particularly held true for those with depression and mental illness.

University of Washington has on their web site a result from a study where some participants took a walk inside and the others did out in nature. 71% of the ones taking a walk outside had a decrease in their depression as opposed to 45% who were inside.

Breakfast_at_TiffanysProfessor Jules Pretty from University of Essex and other researchers analysed data from ten studies.  The common denominator was being out in nature improves “mental and physical health”. Even five minutes in the green is shown to improve health.

Do something special for yourself. One friend has a glass of her favourite pinot grigio wine and watches a classic movie. This week she laughed her way through “How to Marry a Millionaire” with Marilyn Monroe, Betty Grable and Lauren Bacall. Last week her treat was watching “Breakfast at Tiffany’s.”

A divorced acquaintance watches snooker when thoughts of his ex-wife occur. When I am feeling blue, I enjoy a hands on treatment, such as facial (Neal’s Yard) or a pedicure.

Get out of your flat. Moping inside only compounds the blues, so go to a coffee or tea shop. If you are feeling lonely, chatting with other at the community table may be just the ticket.

If not in a sociable mood, take your book or laptop and be surrounded by people, but not interacting with them. One elderly divorced woman made it to daily Mass with a treat afterwards. She was not auditioning for sainthood, but having somewhere to go every day was important to her emotional well-being.

Go to the cinema or theatre. Being engrossed in a thriller or comedy is a great temporary escape from the stress of divorce. Crying through a heart-breaking film releases pent up sadness and despondency and one can feel so much better afterwards. West End has so many choices for whatever mood you are in, and I feel comfortable going alone.

Be with animals. There is something about their unconditional love and acceptance that lifts one’s mood. Having someone whose existence is dependent upon you helps give meaning to your life. Volunteering takes the focus off you and puts it on to someone else.

I enjoy my morning each week helping out at a cat rescue charity, cuddling the kittens. Being appreciated by these homeless cats helps to banish the blues.

Take up a new hobby or get back to an old one. One acquaintance got back into riding again and opened up a small sanctuary for horses. This twice divorced women barely has time to be sad with operating an equine charity. Others started dabbling with painting or enrolled in dance classes and other fun pursuits. Some have used interests or hobbies as a springboard for new careers.

Take a fitness class. Exercise increases endorphins which helps one to feel better. Endorphins also act as analgesics which dampens perception of pain in the body.

Exercise is a release for anxiety and studies have indicated that it decreases depression. Regular exercise aids is getting better sleep and diminishes insomnia. Get your body moving whether in the gym or outdoors.

If you are feeling depressed and cannot snap out of this, consider going to a divorce or life coach. They will help you gain insight into your situations and strategies with how to deal with it.

Short-term therapy can be beneficial in helping you gain clarity and move on with your life.

Wendi Schuller - Global Guide to Divorce

 

Wendi Schuller is a nurse, hypnotherapist and is certified in Neuro-linguistic Programing (NLP).

Her most recent book is The Global Guide to Divorce and she has over 100 published articles.

Her other book is The Woman’s Holistic Guide to Divorce. Web site is globalguidetodivorce.com.

Follow Wendi on Twitter,  Facebook, google+

 

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