Millions of us dream of experiencing a deeply connected relationship that grows richer and more intimate with time. We believe that our soulmates—with whom we’re emotionally, physically, and spiritually in sync—are out there somewhere, if only we knew how to find them. For most of us, though, a soulmate relationship won’t suddenly appear when, by some stroke of cosmic luck, we stumble across the one person on the planet who’s perfectly compatible with us. Rather than leaving it to fate, there are changes you can make right now that will invite the soulmate experience into your life.
Almost daily, we’re inundated with the message that if we buy the right product, do the right exercises, wear the right clothes, or search in the right place, we will find “the one.” But let’s be realistic. If these approaches to finding our ideal companion really worked, the divorce rate would plummet and more people would be enjoying healthier, happier relationships.
The problem is, just going out and searching for “the one” is not enough. Online dating sites offer us “highly compatible matches” based on details about our personalities, values, interests, and goals. But the truth is that even a seemingly ideal match will begin to lose its luster over time if both people aren’t developing and nurturing qualities that will continually breathe new life into their relationship.
Being a soulmate is an approach to life. You don’t need to have resolved all of your issues or have sky-high self-esteem to attract the enlightened relationship you desire. What is required, though, are these two things:
• First, you need a willingness to take responsibility for your own experience in your relationships.
• Second, you need a desire to cultivate qualities that will make all your relationships more playful, meaningful, and alive— qualities like those described in this chapter.
With these two things, not only will you become more available for a soulmate relationship; you will also be able to more easily identify others who are available for one. More precisely, you’ll be in a position to create your soulmate experience. And you may find that a lot easier— and more rewarding—than just waiting for one to “land” on you!
Mali and Joe
Excerpted with permission from The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships by Mali Apple and Joe Dunn. This bestselling book won a 2012 International Book Awards gold medal and a 2012 Living Now Awards silver medal. Mali and Joe are currently deep in the creation process of the second book in “The Soulmate Experience” series, The Soulmate Lover.