Mali and Joe

soulmate experience

Being Available for the Soulmate Experience

Published on
Soulmate Experience
Mali and Joe
Authors of
The Soulmate Experience

Millions of us dream of experiencing a deeply connected relationship that grows richer and more intimate with time. We believe that our soulmates—with whom we’re emotionally, physically, and spiritually in sync—are out there somewhere, if only we knew how to find them. For most of us, though, a soulmate relationship won’t suddenly appear when, by some stroke of cosmic luck, we stumble across the one person on the planet who’s perfectly compatible with us. Rather than leaving it to fate, there are changes you can make right now that will invite the soulmate experience into your life.

Almost daily, we’re inundated with the message that if we buy the right product, do the right exercises, wear the right clothes, or search in the right place, we will find “the one.” But let’s be realistic. If these approaches to finding our ideal companion really worked, the divorce rate would plummet and more people would be enjoying healthier, happier relationships.

The problem is, just going out and searching for “the one” is not enough. Online dating sites offer us “highly compatible matches” based on details about our personalities, values, interests, and goals. But the truth is that even a seemingly ideal match will begin to lose its luster over time if both people aren’t developing and nurturing qualities that will continually breathe new life into their relationship.

So the first question to ask is not “How can I find my soulmate?” but “How can I be a soulmate?”Finding your soulmate

Being a soulmate is an approach to life. You don’t need to have resolved all of your issues or have sky-high self-esteem to attract the enlightened relationship you desire. What is required, though, are these two things:

•      First, you need a willingness to take responsibility for your own experience in your relationships.

•      Second, you need a desire to cultivate qualities that will make all your relationships more playful, meaningful, and alive— qualities like those described in this chapter.

With these two things, not only will you become more available for a soulmate relationship; you will also be able to more easily identify others who are available for one. More precisely, you’ll be in a position to create your soulmate experience. And you may find that a lot easier— and more rewarding—than just waiting for one to “land” on you!

Mali and Joe

Excerpted with permission from The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships by Mali Apple and Joe Dunn. This bestselling book won a 2012 International Book Awards gold medal and a 2012 Living Now Awards silver medal. Mali and Joe are currently deep in the creation process of the second book in “The Soulmate Experience” series, The Soulmate Lover.

 

 

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How Your Beliefs Affect Your Relationships

How Your Beliefs Affect Your Relationships

Published on
Soulmate Experience
Mali and Joe
Authors of
The Soulmate Experience

What does what you believe have to do with the soulmate experience?

It’s difficult to have an extraordinary relationship when your mind is cluttered with less-than-extraordinary beliefs. If you believe in lack, you’ll see lack wherever you look. If you believe in abundance, you’ll see abundance.

Although it’s possible to have a relationship with any set of beliefs, every limiting belief and inflexible position we hold will reduce our potential for a soulmate experience.

Changing or letting go of beliefs and positions that aren’t working for you will go a long way toward making you available for the enlightened relationship you desire. This is true both before you enter a relationship and when you’re in one.

First, raising the quality of the beliefs you hold about yourself will automatically raise your sense of self-worth. This is especially important to understand before you get into a new relationship. People with low self-worth tend to attract partners who also have low self-worth—and possibly even partners who will eventually turn to abusive behavior in order to try to feel in control.

The more you raise your self-worth, the higher the quality of the potential partners you will attract.

Second, when you’re in a relationship, having flexibility about what you believe will be very useful when it comes to keeping your relationship vibrant and alive. Learning how to change or let go of your beliefs when they aren’t serving you and your relationship will enable you to respond fluidly to—and make the most of—the challenges you are bound to encounter.

from Mali Soul mate experience

Many of our beliefs directly affect our ability to form and maintain healthy, rewarding intimate relationships. Consider these:

• “Women are never satisfied.”

• “Men aren’t emotionally available.”

• “Women aren’t reliable.”

• “Men can’t be trusted.”

• “There’s no one I’m really compatible with.”

What are the chances of having a truly connected experience with another human being if we go around with beliefs like these?

As Michael Naumer, who taught thousands how to have more loving, connected relationships, put it, “If you believe men are jerks, it’s amazing how many jerks you will attract! And you’ll be able to gather overwhelming evidence for how men are jerks. ‘You’re just like the rest of them,’ you’ll say. ‘I knew it all along.’”

In fact, one way to identify your core beliefs about relationships is to look at the similarities among the relationships you’ve had in the past.

About Mali and Joe

Excerpted with permission from The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships by Mali Apple and Joe Dunn. This bestselling book won a 2012 International Book Awards gold medal and a 2012 Living Now Awards silver medal. Mali and Joe are currently deep in the creation process of the second book in “The Soulmate Experience” series, The Soulmate Lover.

 

 

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