A sociopath can be quite the charmer in pursuing what they want.
Also known as antisocial personality disorder, these individuals may date someone who is wealthy, has great job connections or is a means to obtaining something desirable.
They do not relate to someone on a human level and are sometimes described as robotic. Look into their eyes and see only emptiness, almost as if they were a machine.
People are like pieces on a chessboard that are moved around to achieve a more advantageous position or are eliminated.
An example of this is on the job. He or she sees co-workers as rivals and may whisper rumours to discredit them. They may sabotage and lie when going after their boss’s position.
A spouse experiences coldness or may become a target of their wrath. These are dangerous marital partners.
Sociopaths enjoy the sense of power and control over others. They particularly are cruel to underlings or vulnerable people. Some torture animals and feel no remorse.
They are incapable of empathy or understanding someone’s tragic situation. They do not care about you or anyone else, although are good actors in pretending that they do. They may go for showy public displays, such as hiring singers to serenade you at your work place.
They want others to think that they are fantastic. You start doubting yourself when what you experience at home is not in sync with what is demonstrated when others are around.
Sociopaths are adept at hiding behind masks and having a public persona. They may present as the city’s best citizen and be a member of many civic organizations.
These connections are cultivated as something useful in the future, like having money in the bank. Sociopaths may use these people to boost them up into a higher social circle or catapult their career.
Sociopaths lack a conscience and moral code.
They do not take responsibility for their actions. If you feel hurt or trampled on, then that is your problem, not their concern. They may commit verbal abuse, since nothing is their fault.
When there are financial woes, and other issues, sociopaths quickly tell you these happened because of your failings. You may start believing that you are worthless or incapable of handling the simplest of things. They want you to feel weak or stupid so that you are easy to manipulate.
Sociopaths are not going to be monogamous.
Sociopaths see themselves as victims when not everything is going their way. They place the blame on others and this includes you too. They blame co-workers or the boss for them not succeeding career wise or may state that you are dragging them down socially.
Since they perceive themselves as perfect, there is no need for therapy. You cannot fix something that is not broken, in their eyes.
They will not be amenable to marital counselling. If you do manage to get them to attend, they may try to team up with the counsellor to point out those problems are your fault. A sociopathic spouse may turn on those crocodile tears and appear very sincere.
A sociopath can go behind their spouse’s back to family and friends and say how concerned they are regarding mental or emotional issues. This is a tactic to get people not to believe the innocent spouse or to keep others from helping them in a break up.
Two classic films on this theme with a sociopath is 1944’s “Gaslight” with Ingrid Berman and 1960’s “Midnight Lace” with Doris Day in London.
A spouse who is a sociopath is not going to change.
It is a decision that you have to make about whether to stay or go. Sociopaths can have loads of charisma with excitement (or danger) in their lives. Taking your time getting to know someone and seeing how they treat others can lessen the chance of getting entangled with a sociopath.
Wendi Schuller is a nurse, hypnotherapist and is certified in Neuro-linguistic Programing (NLP).
Her most recent book is The Global Guide to Divorce and she has over 200 published articles.
She is a guest on radio programs in the US and UK. Her website is globalguidetodivorce.com.