I have been wondering what to write now that father’s day is soon upon us here in the UK – a tricky time for divorced parents.
I wanted to write something that kindly said, “Helping children cope with divorce means giving them the gift of you two getting on as much as possible.”
I wanted to write something that pleaded, “Please don’t interrupt the relationship between your child and his/her father,” it’s not yours to disrupt because you no longer get on.
I am not talking about those father’s who have been abusive to their children because it is true, better to have no father (or mother for that matter) than an abusive one.
I wanted to write something that will put across some research that has been conducted over the years regarding children and their fathers and just how important they are to your child’s social, mental and emotional development.
I wanted to write something that will talk directly to the fathers and say, “Please don’t lose touch with your children. They need you so much. They need you now more than ever because the world as they knew it has changed since the divorce or separation. By keeping in touch you are helping children cope with divorce in a way no one else can but you.”
Fight for them and keep fighting because they need you. Don’t let your child become part of the statistics of children whose fathers disappeared following divorce or separation.
Finally, I wanted to write something that will say, fathers are important too – to their children – so this father’s day, help your child do something special for his/her father. Draw a card, make that phone call, or both, buy him something and have your child give it to him.
If it’s your weekend, your time with the children, how about you just step back, if only for a couple of hours and allow for them to have that day together – for your child’s sake, for your child’s well being.
Fathers are important too – very important indeed.
Anyway I wanted to write this and more…until I came across a video that summed it all up. And here it is:
Soila is the founder of The Divorce Magazine and creator of the online course – Helping Children Cope with Divorce
She is known for taking away the pain of trauma and loss in children, adolescents and their families and is the author of “When Love is Broken. A read-together book for children and parents going through divorce and separation.
Soila holds an MSc in Psychoanalytic Developmental Psychology from UCL (University College London), is an accredited Positive Parenting Program (Triple P) practitioner and a trained Family Mediator.
Soila is Graduate Member of the British Psychological Society.
You can contact her on 07850 85 60 66 or via email firstname.lastname@example.org