Vanessa Fox

What Happens if I Don’t Make a Full Disclosure
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What Happens if I Don’t Make a Full Disclosure to my ex?

Published on
Vanessa Fox
Partner and Head of
Family Law
hlw Keeble Hawson

There have been many high profile cases where an ex-partner in a divorce case has hidden money or assets to avoid them being included in the joint assets that will be divided by the court or an arbitrator.

It is surprisingly common for people to attempt to do this and I have worked on many cases where it has happened – including when a client’s ex squirrelled away stacks of £10 notes. In fact, almost every family dispute I have handled has involved an alleged non-disclosure.

Reasons for hiding or undervaluing assets include a wish to save money, a desire for revenge or a belief that the asset or the person’s wealth is too trivial for scrutiny.

However, before the court can reach a financial settlement on separation, both parties have a legal obligation to provide full and frank disclosure of all their assets, including pensions, income and liabilities.

Unless and until this has been done, a financial order cannot be made, even if both parties are happy for it to go ahead.

The court does not take into account who is ‘at fault’, meaning that the ‘wronged’ party has no excuse for not making an honest declaration. Nor is it justified for the poorer partner to fail to disclose.

That person may feel aggrieved at having to list a tiny savings account or income from a part time job, when the other person is far better off. However, the court’s duty is to assess a couple’s joint worth and how this can be divided fairly to meet the reasonable needs of both parties.

Declaring everything that you own does not mean you will receive a reduced settlement, but failing to disclose an asset can produce that result.

If one party fails to fully disclose, it can lead to a more extended, costly dispute.

The person who has not disclosed can, in extreme cases, be ordered to pay the other side’s legal costs and it is usually the case that that person will receive a far less favourable settlement, with more allocated to their ex on top of what would have been awarded in the first place.

There is nearly also extra expense for both parties, relating to applications for court orders for further disclosure or the hiring of a forensic accountant to track down hidden funds, the cost of which is sometimes ordered to be paid by the “non-disclosing” party.

In any event, legal costs always are paid out of the pooled assets that the court would prefer to be spent on the households of the separating couple and their children.

One partner’s dishonest disclosure can severely reduce the funds available to do this, which could diminish everybody’s standard of living and affect a parent’s long term relationship with their offspring.

There are often no winners from somebody’s refusal to fully declare, but there can be many losers. Honesty is always the best policy – no matter what misgivings or lingering bitterness one party has for their ex.

Click here for more articles by Vanessa Fox

About Vanessa

hlw Keeble Hawson partner, Vanessa Fox, has been head of the firm’s family law department since 1991.

The latest edition of the Legal 500 Guide praises Vanessa for her ‘broad knowledge of finance and childcare, and for her passion for collaboration; she is efficient, caring and robust’.

Collaboratively trained and a qualified mediator, Vanessa is a former chair of South Yorkshire Resolution and a member of the Law Society’s Family Law Panel and the Children Panel.

She can be contacted on 0114 290 6232 or at vanessafox@hlwkeeblehawson.co.uk.

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Can I Get a Divorce in the First Year of my Marriage?

Can I Get a Divorce in the First Year of my Marriage?

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Vanessa Fox
Partner and Head of
Family Law
hlw Keeble Hawson

If you realise that tying the knot was a mistake from which you want to extricate yourself during your first year of marriage, you cannot start divorce proceedings in this timeframe.

This is because the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 section 3(1) states that “No petition for divorce shall be presented to the court before the expiration of the period of one year from the date of the marriage.”

You can, however, start preparing proceedings before the 12-month deadline by considering on what grounds you will petition for a divorce.

This process involves the petitioner who instigates the legal action and the respondent who receives the petition.

You can also collate your financial information as dealing with the finances is often the most time consuming and costly part of a divorce.

Gathering all your mortgage statements, bank account statements, debts, payslips, business accounts and requesting Cash Equivalent Transfer Value (CETV) for any pensions you have, (these can often take weeks if not months to obtain), can help speed up the process when the time is right to start proceedings.

Under our current laws, a couple cannot divorce before they have been separated for 2 years if the other party agrees or 5 years if there is no agreement, without a ‘fault-based ground’ which has to be adultery or unreasonable behaviour.

Following the high-profile case of Tini Owens who was forced to remain in a loveless marriage, a major reform is underway to introduce ‘no fault divorce’, enabling couples to part without apportioning blame.

In any separation or divorce, it is vital that the couple each take advice from an experienced family lawyer with an acknowledged reputation in their field – and not friends or family, no matter how well-meaning or certain of their facts they seem.

More articles by Vanessa Fox

About Vanessa

Keebles’ partner Vanessa Fox, has been head of the firm’s family law department since 1991.

The Legal 500 Guide praises Vanessa for her ‘broad knowledge of finance and childcare, and for her passion for collaboration; she is efficient, caring and robust’.

Collaboratively trained and a qualified mediator, Vanessa is a former chair of South Yorkshire Resolution and a member of the Law Society’s Family Law Panel and the Children Panel.

She can be contacted on 0114 290 6232 or at vanessa.fox@keebles.com

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child's main carer after divorce

When can a Father Become a Child’s Main Carer after Divorce?

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Vanessa Fox
Partner and Head of
Family Law
hlw Keeble Hawson

Married and unmarried fathers have the same rights and responsibilities for children as mothers – as long as the child was born after 2004 and the father is named as father on the birth certificate.

Either parent can be the “main carer” and courts take the approach that care should be split equally, if possible.

It is extremely rare in this day and age to come across a judge who will openly say that “living with the mother for most or all of the time is best for the child”.

As an experienced family lawyer I always try to avoid using the term “main carer” because it is unhelpful and can cause dissension if clients pick it up and use it.

Both parents are responsible for their children and the reality of life is that more women than men are likely to give up their jobs and care full time for their offspring.

However, the situation is fluid and subject to constant change, with fathers sometimes taking on the bulk of the care in the following circumstances:

  • Following agreement with the child’s mother
  • If the situation suits the mother’s shift pattern or career if they are nurses, doctors, fire fighters, etc
  • If it is amenable to the child. Older children in particular can gravitate to their father where the rules are often more negotiable!
  • Cases where the other parent is unsuitable as a result of drug/alcohol/ child abuse issues
  • If social care bodies have recommended it

It is important in every situation for the father to obtain early legal advice.

I once assisted with a case where the mother’s solicitors claimed that the mother was “of course” the main carer by virtue of being mother. In reality both parents worked full time and had a gamut of grandparents and others looking after the children.

The outcome was an equal split of care after a contested hearing. The mother admitted that the children enjoyed spending time with their father but that she missed the child herself and was struggling with her not being at home.

The court confirmed that it is the needs of the children, not the parents, that matter.

My client had been told by his previous lawyers that he wouldn’t achieve shared care. I advised him that he would – with a successful result.

In our modern times of blended families it is important to remember that there are sometimes 2 mothers or 2 fathers. Whatever the situation, it is vital that the focus remains on the child – whose best interests and need to see both parents should always be put first.

More articles by Vanessa Fox

About Vanessa

Keebles’ partner Vanessa Fox, has been head of the firm’s family law department since 1991.

The latest edition of the Legal 500 Guide praises Vanessa for her ‘broad knowledge of finance and childcare, and for her passion for collaboration; she is efficient, caring and robust’.

Collaboratively trained and a qualified mediator, Vanessa is a former chair of South Yorkshire Resolution and a member of the Law Society’s Family Law Panel and the Children Panel.

She can be contacted on 0114 290 6232 or at vanessa.fox@keebles.com

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Hollow Victory for Graham Mills in Supreme Court Ruling?

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Vanessa Fox
Partner and Head of
Family Law Keebles

The landmark ruling – that divorced surveyor Graham Mills should not be forced to keep coughing up increased maintenance payments resulting from his ex-wife’s bad financial decisions – reinforces the need for ‘clean break’ orders.

The Supreme Court overturned the Court of Appeal’s decision to increase Maria Mills’ monthly maintenance payments from £1,100 to £1,441 after she fell into debt.

Mrs Mills’ circumstances resulted from her making poor investment choices with the £230k financial settlement her former spouse gave her when they divorced back in 2002.

While the headlines of this high-profile case put the emphasis on an “end to meal ticket for life” for spousal payments, the reality is that Mr Mills is still inextricably tied into paying what is called a joint lives order.

Widely considered to be the most onerous maintenance order, it obliges him to continue giving Maria Mills £1,100 a month until she remarries, he or she dies – or the court makes a further order ending the payments.

The case initially escalated after the surveyor’s circumstances had changed and he applied to the court, over a decade after the settlement, to end the payments. In retaliation, his ex-wife fought to have them increased.

The case can be seen as part of an overall move towards clean break orders, so that the more advantaged party may pay more capital for a clean break. The court, for many years had had a duty to consider the possibility of a clean break in each case but sometimes there is not sufficient capital funds to pay to the less advantaged party to achieve this.

Such an order prevents both parties from making future and further financial claims of any kind against each other. There is an overall trend in court judgements over the last few years, that wives should maximise their own income capacity – even when spousal maintenance is paid.

Following the ruling, the lawyers for both Mr and Mrs Mills suggest further negotiations will be needed to look at capitalising maintenance – a means of helping to achieve a clean break even when there is a joint lives maintenance order.

It is a matter of interest perhaps that in Scotland spouses are only maintained for a maximum number of years. This may soon be regarded as a favourable option for England and Wales.

Whatever the wider outcome, the cost of litigating this case in the highest courts in the land will have resulted in heavy financial and emotional costs for a warring couple whose marriage ended sixteen years ago.

Click here for more articles by Vanessa Fox 

About Vanessa

Keebles partner Vanessa Fox, has been head of the firm’s family law department since 1991.

The latest edition of the Legal 500 Guide praises Vanessa for her ‘broad knowledge of finance and childcare, and for her passion for collaboration; she is efficient, caring and robust’.

Collaboratively trained and a qualified mediator, Vanessa is a former chair of South Yorkshire Resolution and a member of the Law Society’s Family Law Panel and the Children Panel.

She can be contacted on 0114 290 6232 or at vanessa.fox@keebles.com

 

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What happens if my ex Ignores the acknowledgement of service

My Ex is Ignoring the Acknowledgement of Service?

Published on
Vanessa Fox
Partner and Head of
Family Law Keebles

In a divorce, the Respondent is asked to sign and return the Acknowledgment of Service – a document with a series of questions which the court sends to the Respondent with the divorce petition.

The Respondent is required to answer the questions and sign and return the document to the court.

In my extensive experience, respondents frequently fail to return the document to the court.

What happens next depends on what ground for divorce – which I have outlined below – you have used:

Adultery: the Respondent has to sign the acknowledgement unless you have a signed confession statement before the petition was issued.

If the Respondent refuses to sign, and you do not have a clear photograph of the other party having penetrative sex with another person of the opposite sex, you won’t get your divorce. You will have to amend your petition to another ground, which involves an application to court.

Behaviour: the Respondent doesn’t have to sign the acknowledgement – his or her solicitor can sign it. If no one signs it and returns it, you have to obtain a set of papers from the court for personal service, pay for an enquiry agent to give the papers to the other party, file a statement proving that that took place from the enquiry agent, wait 14 days, then apply for a decree nisi – which you will get.

2 years’ separation with consent: the Respondent must sign the acknowledgement or you will not obtain a divorce on this ground.

5 years’ separation: provided you can prove that the other party received the divorce papers, by arranging for the papers to be given to him or her by an enquiry agent, you will be able to apply for your decree nisi.

Making the right choice of ground is crucial. Behaviour as a ground is the best option if you have not been separated for long and you know that your ex is going to be difficult.

Click Here for More Legal Articles by Vanessa Fox

About Vanessa

Keebles partner, Vanessa Fox, has been head of the firm’s family law department since 1991.

The latest edition of the Legal 500 Guide praises Vanessa for her ‘broad knowledge of finance and childcare, and for her passion for collaboration; she is efficient, caring and robust’.

Collaboratively trained and a qualified mediator, Vanessa is a former chair of South Yorkshire Resolution and a member of the Law Society’s Family Law Panel and the Children Panel.

She can be contacted on 0114 290 6232 or at www.keebles.com.

 

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Repercussions of Divorce

Why the Personal and Emotional Repercussions of Divorce Should Never be Taken Lightly

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Vanessa Fox
Partner and Head of
Family Law
hlw Keeble Hawson

A recent article and new TV series focussed on Britain’s top female lawyers dealing with the lives of the superrich.

Perhaps too much was said about such lawyers’ astronomical hourly charges and killer heels, but this made me think about the real life personal and emotional cost of divorce.

The article made some assumptions that divorce is sometimes taken lightly and that couples these lawyers represented dispose of their relationships like changing their phone.

No one divorces lightly – not even millionaires or billionaires. The trauma of relationship breakdown is always massive.

I have never yet represented a relatively poor or wealthy client who did not bitterly regret the breakdown of their relationship – even if they hid it well.

Among the many things I dispute in the article is the claim that men regret divorce more than women. In my extensive experience, men often seem to me to be more upset and the long- term effect can be greater.

I don’t agree that it is always a mistake to sign a post nuptial agreement. This is often a good way of keeping the relationship going. Expert legal advice on the agreement, however, is crucial.

On the issue of power dressing in court, it does not matter what you wear, or what handbag you take to court – though it is probably sensible to leave Chanel or Mulberry bags at home and take a cheaper handbag.

However, I did once take a photo of a husband’s Bentley (with personalised plate) outside court and showed it to the Judge when the husband claimed he was living in poverty!

On the plus side, I agree that an hour with a lawyer to discuss what you might be giving up is crucial – and that it is expensive to use a lawyer as a therapist. I always advocate a holistic approach and advise all my clients that support from a counsellor is crucial.

I also agree that children should not be used as pawns. In reality, clients try to avoid this anyway.

I also agree that focus on what is important and on the deal itself is helpful – but it is the lawyer’s job to help their client focus and explain what is important and what can be let go.

The most important thing to hang onto is that separation and divorce is tragic and painful, but it will pass and you will move on to something else – a better life perhaps – with help from lawyers, financial advisors and counsellors.

It is the combined expert advice and support from a group that will help you – and not just your lawyer.

Click here for more articles by Vanessa Fox

About Vanessa

hlw Keeble Hawson partner, Vanessa Fox, has been head of the firm’s family law department since 1991.

The latest edition of the Legal 500 Guide praises Vanessa for her ‘broad knowledge of finance and childcare, and for her passion for collaboration; she is efficient, caring and robust’.

Collaboratively trained and a qualified mediator, Vanessa is a former chair of South Yorkshire Resolution and a member of the Law Society’s Family Law Panel and the Children Panel.

She can be contacted on 0114 290 6232 or at vanessafox@hlwkeeblehawson.co.uk.

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In Sickness and in Health …How Chronic Illness Impacts on Divorce and Separation

Published on
Vanessa Fox
Partner and Head of
Family Law
hlw Keeble Hawson

Chronic illness is a very common component in divorce – and can have a far reaching impact on issues relating to finance and children.

Long terms conditions such as Multiple Sclerosis, lupus, Motor Neurone Disease not only affect people physically but often mentally and can create tensions and difficulties.

Those living with these illnesses may sometimes find their partner unsympathetic, unsupportive and impatient with the effects of their condition. In our experience, partners can also resent how long term health issues absorb their loved ones.

If the relationship ends, and there are court proceedings about finances or children, how does the court deal with someone living with chronic illness?

Those with long term health conditions are entitled to ask the court to consider their ability to work – it is part of the criteria that the court has to consider.

Such a person may fare better than an able bodied person in terms of capital split as they do not have the ability to work and acquire pension rights.

People with a limited life span may find that that this unpalatable issue is raised. There is no point splitting a pension if the other person is not going to live to enjoy it.

When pensions are split, and the recipient of the split dies, pensions are lost to the family. In some cases, dependent children lose out on the financial support.

However the terminally ill are still entitled to their fair split of the family assets to leave to children or family if they wish.

I had one client who was in a home with very debilitating MS but met a new partner and had a very happy life with him once the assets were split – albeit for a fairly short time. Everyone is entitled to be happy if the court can manage it – even if the time is limited for them to enjoy life.

Someone with serious long term issues is also entitled to ask the court to consider the care needs they will have once the marriage has ended. This can involve an occupational health report being compiled.

If a house has been adapted for the person with the health issue, the court may feel it is important for them to keep it. However the needs of any children also have to be considered.

These situations are very hard and need careful and thoughtful handling by the court – and by the solicitor representing each partner.

They require difficult conversations in which unhappy outcomes need to be considered carefully so the importance of having the right representation cannot be understated.

Click here for more articles by Vanessa Fox

About Vanessa

hlw Keeble Hawson partner, Vanessa Fox, has been head of the firm’s family law department since 1991.

The latest edition of the Legal 500 Guide praises Vanessa for her ‘broad knowledge of finance and childcare, and for her passion for collaboration; she is efficient, caring and robust’.

Collaboratively trained and a qualified mediator, Vanessa is a former chair of South Yorkshire Resolution and a member of the Law Society’s Family Law Panel and the Children Panel.

She can be contacted on 0114 290 6232 or at vanessafox@hlwkeeblehawson.co.uk.

Feature Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

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What is Guardianship of a Child

What is Guardianship of a Child?

Published on
Vanessa Fox
Partner and Head of
Family Law
hlw Keeble Hawson

The rights and needs of children are of paramount importance in the eyes of the law.

One way of offering them a voice during legal proceedings is through the appointment of a guardian ad litem.

Generally, a guardian will be assigned to any child involved in supervision or care proceedings. That person, who is almost always a representative provided by Cafcass (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service), acts on behalf of the child in court and ensures any decision is made in their best interests.

As part of their responsibilities, the guardian usually selects and appoints a solicitor to represent the child and advises the guardian, who in turn will help the court to consider outcomes for the children in the proceedings.

This doesn’t tend to happen in private law, where issues are between parents or extended family. There is usually no guardian involved and, although Cafcass is often asked to provide an independent report, its role is usually limited in cases where some contact has been agreed by the parents.

However, times are changing and we are seeing an increase in guardians being appointed for children in private children proceedings. There are a number of reasons for this.

It could happen where one party is self-represented and the court feels that that psychological reports or other expert testimony is needed, or where the court feels that significant findings of fact need to be made.

In cases where there is considerable conflict between both parents over access to the child, sometimes referred to as ‘implacable hostility’ cases, a guardian will be appointed.

A court will usually put a guardian in place for the child if it is believed the child may not be safe or will be adversely affected by the conflict, between the parents, which can originate in either parent.

Once a court has decided to appoint a guardian, there can be benefits for all parties. The child has an independent social worker and an independent solicitor acting in their best interests.

Where older children are involved, whose opinions will be very important to the court, a guardian will seek these views and feed them back to the court. The guardian’s solicitor can also advise older children directly.

In addition, the view of the guardian can be seen as an independent view, sometimes a very helpful check on the conflicting views of parents or extended family, with the help of an experienced family lawyer to advise the guardian.

About Vanessa

hlw Keeble Hawson partner, Vanessa Fox, marked 25 years as head of the firm’s family law department in 2016.

Collaboratively trained and a qualified mediator, she has modernised South Yorkshire Resolution since becoming chair in 2013 and is also a member of the Law Society’s Family Law Panel and the Children Panel.

She can be contacted on 0114 290 6232 or at vanessafox@hlwkeeblehawson.co.uk.

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divorce and children's happiness

Children of Divorce – Why one Size does not Fit all when it Comes to Divorce and Children’s Happiness

Published on
Vanessa Fox
Partner and Head of
Family Law
hlw Keeble Hawson

In my long experience as a family lawyer, children of divorced or separated couples can be happy or unhappy – regardless of contact arrangements.

This view contradicts a study from Stockholm University which was widely reported and which claims that children who live full time with one parent are more likely to be stressed than those in shared custody.

Researchers say one explanation for the findings of the report – which relates to Swedish families 14 years ago – may be that children who spend most of their time away from one parent, lose contact with relatives, friends and money.

Rather than be drawn into the often widely differing findings of such studies, it is perhaps more important to concentrate on common sense, and take practical measures to reduce the impact of divorce and separation on children’s health and wellbeing.

While my professional experience is largely confined to parents who are in conflict during or following a break-up, it is apparent that different triggers spark stress in children and young people.

A child living with one parent could be thoroughly miserable with the arrangement – missing the other dreadfully, left insecure by the split – and with profound feelings of guilt and great trepidation about the future. If they have a good reason for not wanting to always be with the lone parent – their stress levels will escalate.

Conversely children whose separated parents get on very well – and who have regular contact with both – may become anxious over handovers from one parent to the other. Causes of aggravation might be unwelcome journeys, separation from friends, pressure of meeting schedules and unease with a non-resident parent they do not know as well.

The overarching goal in these situations is the same as that which lies at the heart of family law: in all cases and circumstances, the wellbeing of the child must come first.

While it is understandable at the outset of divorce or separation for both parents to want to share custody and contact equally, there are often so many reasons why this is not always possible. For example, children may not benefit from seeing both parents if one has insufficient time to sustain a relationship and stay abreast of their interests.

What is crucial is that parents do all they can to sort things out with maximum cooperation and minimum argument. It is vital that they behave like responsible grown-ups in arranging the needs and comfort of their children – planning meticulously, if possible together, and explaining lifestyle changes to the children as soon as possible.

To achieve this, parents can work with professional advisers who can guide them through all the considerations that make an amicable outcome possible and help reach agreement constructively through a collaborative route to divorce.

About Vanessa

hlw Keeble Hawson partner, Vanessa Fox, marked 25 years as head of the firm’s family law department in 2016.

Collaboratively trained and a qualified mediator, she has modernised South Yorkshire Resolution since becoming chair in 2013 and is also a member of the Law Society’s Family Law Panel and the Children Panel.

She can be contacted on 0114 290 6232 or at vanessafox@hlwkeeblehawson.co.uk.

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What is a non-molestation order
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What is a Non-molestation Order?

Published on
Vanessa Fox
Partner and Head of
Family Law
hlw Keeble Hawson

Non-molestation orders – designed to protect victims of domestic violence from being abused and to stop the abuser from being violent towards the victims – help victims to deal with difficult ex-partners and people they are still in a relationship with.

Those who have to deal with another person’s unacceptable behaviour that might affect their mental or physical health can seek an order through the family court.

These orders, also known as injunctions, aim to safeguard people from further abuse – whether physical, threats or intimidation.

Targets of abuse can apply for a non-molestation order against someone they are in a current or previous relationship with. This can include a married partner, a civil partner, or a same sex partner, or other family members.

Those who fear that they or their children are in imminent danger can apply for an emergency non-molestation order for immediate protection. Legal Aid is sometimes available; however, applicants will usually have to pay a contribution.

An order warns the other person that he or she must not breach any of the actions the order specifically forbids, on pain of imprisonment of up to five years and/or a fine. The behaviour depends on the specific circumstances of the case, but characteristically includes the use or threat of violence, harassment by contact or communication – and damage to property.

The orders are generally granted for a set period (usually three to six months), but can be renewed or made ‘until further order’, depending on the seriousness of the case.

It is a criminal offence to disobey such an order and those who do will be arrested, if reported. Victims who wish to avoid involving the police in their family issues should bear in mind that the family court can impose short custodial sessions for breaches in closed sessions.

Non-molestation orders may be combined with occupation orders, which keep the other person out of the family home until finances are dealt with.

An occupation order can be obtained as a result of non-violent, non- threatening actions. One of my cases was based on persistent difficult behaviour, which involved the other person persistently turned off the hot water system so my client could not have a hot bath to alleviate her bad back.

Combined with other relatively minor unpleasant behaviours, this was enough for us to obtain an occupation order so that person had to leave the home.

Unless protection is needed urgently, it is important that anyone seeking a non-molestation order first secures the right advice from an experienced family lawyer – particularly if children are involved.

More articles by Vanessa Fox can be found here – Vanessa Fox on TDM

About Vanessa

hlw Keeble Hawson partner, Vanessa Fox, marked 25 years as head of the firm’s family law department in 2016.

Collaboratively trained and a qualified mediator, she has modernised South Yorkshire Resolution since becoming chair in 2013 and is also a member of the Law Society’s Family Law Panel and the Children Panel.

She can be contacted on 0114 290 6232 or at vanessafox@hlwkeeblehawson.co.uk.

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How to Make Divorce Easier on Children

Published on
Vanessa Fox
Partner and Head of
Family Law
hlw Keeble Hawson

I have often thought that we should take research into the effects of divorce on children with a pinch of salt and concentrate on common sense, practical measures to reduce the impact.

The latest study to grab headlines has concluded that a quick divorce is worse for children than an acrimonious one and that they are less likely to succeed in life as a result.

In my extensive experience no divorce is easy – emotionally, financially or legally and nobody enters into the process because they think it is. Even amicable separations are hard on children – but if both parents work to safeguard them, there is no reason why they should not grow up to achieve fulfilled lives.

Below are some tips on how estranged couples can make their split easier on their children:

  • If possible, sit down together to tell your children about a separation or divorce. Keep explanations simple and don’t blame each other.

 

  • Always put your children’s welfare, not your own, first and avoid unnecessary squabbles. Strive to remain cordial despite feelings of hurt with your ex.

 

  • Try to reach a quick and easy financial outcome – it is better to collaborate and to compromise than fight over minor issues.

 

  • Strive to be fair and flexible with each other about children issues – avoiding disruption with last minute changes of plan. Routine is always helpful for children but it doesn’t have to be a straitjacket.

 

  • Explain in simple terms how their lives will change, particularly major decisions such as where they will live and how often they will see each parent. Both parents are urged to be flexible over planned routines if children, particularly teenagers, want to alter them.

 

  • Agree some parenting ground rules with your ex and have monthly coffee meetings to discuss how things are going with the children.

 

  • Avoid getting into a blaming situation with your ex – a spirit of cooperation will go a long way.

 

  • Regularly reassure your offspring that you love them – they, in turn, are entitled to continue to love both parents.

 

  • Encourage them to talk about their feelings and give them time to get used to the new situation. Don’t rush them into meeting any new partner.

 

  • Consider family therapy as an option – it works well in many cases.

Ultimately, divorce has been easier to obtain for the last 50 years in the UK. Previously, people were locked into loveless and abusive relationships – however, there is no research available on how this affected children. The number of young people undergoing higher education since the 1970s has also rocketed despite divorce numbers rising more than six fold between 1955 and 1985.

This seems to contradict the claims in the latest study that young adults in the 1970s were far less likely to go to university than those in the 1940s and 50s, when access to divorce was harder.

I strongly urge all separating couples to do everything they can to ensure their split is as non-confrontational as possible. They can work with professional advisers to resolve family disputes constructively and invest in one of the collaborative routes to divorce.

About Vanessa

hlw Keeble Hawson partner, Vanessa Fox, marked 25 years as head of the firm’s family law department in 2016.

Collaboratively trained and a qualified mediator, she has modernised South Yorkshire Resolution since becoming chair in 2013 and is also a member of the Law Society’s Family Law Panel and the Children Panel.

She can be contacted on 0114 290 6232 or at vanessafox@hlwkeeblehawson.co.uk.

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Parental responsibility

What is Parental Responsibility? My Partner Says I Don’t Have it.

Published on
Vanessa Fox
Partner and Head of
Family Law
hlw Keeble Hawson

Parental responsibility is a legal concept covering the legal rights, responsibilities and authority a parent has for his or her child.

Such responsibilities include decisions about where a child lives, along with his or her upbringing, religion, education, medical care – and any property they may own.

The law requires a baby’s birth to be registered – a duty usually conducted by the mother – within six weeks of the event. The certificate should name the biological mother and father where possible.

Parental responsibility is a given for biological mothers and for biological fathers who are married to the mother when the baby is born.

It is also automatically granted where a father has adopted the child and where unmarried fathers are registered on birth certificates either on or after December 1, 2003.

However, a biological father who is not married to the child’s mother – and is not named on the birth certificate – does not have parental responsibility. Such situations can exacerbate pressure during separation, which is an already tense, uncertain time where emotions run very high.

There are a number of ways for a biological father to resolve the issue. He can ask the child’s mother to sign a parental responsibility agreement, which can be obtained from HM Courts & Tribunals Services.

If she agrees, the matter is settled swiftly and cleanly and both parents have a say on the child’s upbringing until they reach 18.

If parental responsibility arrangements can’t be agreed, the father can apply for a court order, which can be added to an application on any other issues relating to the divorce or separation. It is very rare for a court to refuse to make such an order.

Once granted, fathers are entitled to share the afore-mentioned responsibilities with the mother. This extends to having the right to take a child from the mother if there are serious childcare issues.

Finally, it is worth making the point that, as a parent, even if you do not have parental responsibility, you are still obliged to support your offspring financially until they are 18.

About Vanessa

hlw Keeble Hawson partner, Vanessa Fox, marked 25 years as head of the firm’s family law department in 2016.

Collaboratively trained and a qualified mediator, she has modernised South Yorkshire Resolution since becoming chair in 2013 and is also a member of the Law Society’s Family Law Panel and the Children Panel.

She can be contacted on 0114 290 6232 or at vanessafox@hlwkeeblehawson.co.uk.

 

 

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