Beth was nineteen when she married the man of her dreams.
He was patient, respectful and only drank a pint or two of beer at the pub.
She appreciated his restraint and maturity. Even the worst traffic jam did not faze his calm temperament.
Her parents and friends did not care for Edmond, but did not give specific reasons why. Her police officer father had Edmond checked out, but no previous crimes were revealed.
What a shock when this mild-mannered man morphed into a monster. Beth did not see this coming.
After the wedding, Edmond would fly into a rage at the slightest provocation.
Whatever Beth did, it was not quick or good enough. She discovered that when dating, Edmond would have the beer with her, take her home, and then start drinking heavily with his mates. He continued getting drunk with the lads after marriage.
Beth became pregnant right away and Edmond started physically abusing her.
She has four tall, muscular brothers, but could not bring herself to tell them of her abuse. When she was pregnant, Edmond pushed her down the stairs, yet Beth still stayed in the marriage. One night when inebriated, Edmond went into the baby’s room and Beth became afraid of potential harm. The neighbours called the police when a shouting match erupted.
Edmond was taken into police custody and Beth and the son went to her parents’ house.
Beth initiated the divorce.
She did not ask for maintenance or child support and just wanted to cut all ties with this man. The court ordered that any visitation would be supervised due to Edmond’s past abuse. No visitation schedule was set up by the court.
Edmond came to Beth’s place only once post-divorce to see his son. Luckily two of her brothers were there, otherwise Beth would have been terrified. No further attempt was made to have any contact with the child. Edmond’s father was deceased, but his mother never acknowledged her first grandson or saw him. Beth said her mother-in-law was very cold and strange.
The last time Beth heard anything about Edmond was after she had filed a tax form listing her young son as a deduction. Edmond had done the same and Beth easily proved that she was the one who had paid all of the child’s bills. Apparently Edmond was informed that he was not allowed this deduction, because it only happened once.
Beth said she learned to listen to people when they have a feeling that something is not right. She was young and impetuous, so chose not to inquire further why so many friends and family members did like Edmond.
Beth said taking longer getting to know someone was how she made the right choice the second time around in marriage.
She cautions people not to let their pride stand in the way when needing help or admitting that one made a mistake. Beth said to cut one’s losses right away when a situation is deteriorating.
She wishes that she would have told her family about the physical abuse so they could have helped extricate her from this dangerous situation.
Edmond covered up his personality disorder while dating, but rushing into marriage makes this a bit easier to accomplish.
Look at your potential partner’s family and friends closely. This will give a clue about their true nature and values.
Wendi Schuller is a nurse, hypnotherapist and is certified in Neuro-linguistic Programing (NLP).
Her most recent book is The Global Guide to Divorce and she has over 200 published articles.
She is a guest on radio programs in the US and UK. Her website is globalguidetodivorce.com.
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