Becoming a parent is the most joyous and rewarding moment of your life, but it can also be the most difficult challenge that you are ever tasked with, and if you separate from the parent of your children, you may well think that the task is about to get much harder.
However, this does not have to be the case and you can indeed manage as a single parent living without the other parent of your children, without the failure of your relationship having any form of negative impact on them.
Parenting Post-Divorce: Our Top 5 Tips
Although certain aspects of parenting may become harder being on your own and without the other parent of your children, our top tips will certainly go a long way in helping you to manage.
Here are our top five tips to parenting post-divorce:
Ensure that your Children aren’t Involved in any of your Disputes – Before, during and after a divorce, you are likely to have many disputes with your former partner, and this is very understandable.
However, one thing that you should always make sure of is that you never allow your children to be involved in any of the conflict. Not only can it have a big impact on your children, it can also damage the relationship that both you and your former partner have with them, and that is not good for anybody involved.
Take Advantage of Counselling – After a divorce, issues that you were suffering from can often stay with you, even if they are as a result of the marriage rather than just the divorce.
If you are suffering from any issues, then it may be wise for you to seek counselling in order to deal with those issues in the most effective way possible. By gaining support and advice from an expert, you will be able to move on from those issues, helping you to be a better parent to your children.
Make sure that the Children don’t blame themselves – One of the biggest worries as a parent going through a divorce is that the children will begin to blame themselves for your separation, which can cause them deep distress.
You should be looking to dismiss these thoughts as soon as you can, telling them that it was nothing to do with them or anything that they did, allowing them to focus on feeling like a normal child once again.
Be Civil with your Former Partner and Never Speak Badly of them – In order to move on from the relationship and any issues that you have previously suffered from, you should refrain from speaking badly of your former partner to anybody, especially your children, whilst also focusing on being civil whenever you come into contact with them.
Although you are likely to have issues with the other parent of your children, it is not fair on them for you to express them, as they still love them and look up to them. Voicing your issues is only going to cause further issues, and may well place a barrier between you and your children.
Work as a Parenting Team with your Former Partner – Your children should be the main priority and focus of both you and your former partner, so you should both do all that you can to do right by them.
The best way to do this is to set aside your issues and work together as a team to be good parents to your children, which is sure to enable them to have the best childhood possible.
Kerry Smith is the head of family law at K J Smith Solicitors, a specialist family law firm who deal with a wide range of issues including divorce, domestic violence, civil partnerships and prenuptial agreements.