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protect myself online during my divorce
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How do I protect myself online during my divorce?

Published on
Naomi Hayward - Furley Page Solicitors
Naomi Hayward
Partner & Collaborative Lawyer
Furley Page

January has long held the unofficial moniker of ‘Divorce Month‘ due to the customary influx of new divorce enquiries following the Christmas holiday season.

2022 was a year of great technological change for the divorce courts in England and Wales with the move to online divorce proceedings through the court’s new online portal. Yet, while technology is helping to modernise the process of divorcing, it can also present challenges for the couples who are looking to separate.

With most of us now heavily reliant on technology in our everyday lives, it’s no surprise that couples become digitally linked in all sorts of ways, yet I often advise clients who have not considered the various ways their digital lives are intertwined with their ex-partner, or how this information could be used against them during the divorce, or afterwards.

It is essential that individuals seeking a separation or divorce from their partner take steps to protect themselves, their privacy and their personal information, including online.

How can you protect yourself when going through separation: 

  • Change your passwords on all your online accounts, including email, social media, phone, online banking/payments platforms and any apps, and ensure they are not changed to anything your ex-partner could guess. Also turn off any autocomplete or ‘remember me’ functions on all web browsers you use.

  • Create a new email address for legal correspondence to make it more difficult for someone to access your messages, and to keep all correspondence about your divorce in a single location for ease of reference.

  • Auto syncing of devices should be turned off from all devices to ensure information (e.g. photos or documents in the cloud) is no longer automatically uploaded to any shared accounts or devices.

  • Remove personal documents and files from any shared devices and disable any shared calendars.

  • Disable any ‘find my phone’ apps to stop your ex from being able to see your GPS location.

  • Delete any unfamiliar apps and software in case there is tracking or monitoring that you are not aware of. 

  • Change the passwords to any doorbell cameras and CCTV at your property so your ex cannot log in or monitor the feed. 

  • Change the password to your Wi-Fi router if your ex has moved out.  This is especially important if you have concerns that there may be monitoring devices in the house or you are worried you might have missed some devices which need to be disconnected. 

  • Review all your social media privacy settings and do a general audit of your posts. Consider making your photos and posts private; you may also consider removing friends or restricting access to particular information if you are concerned about information being passed on to your ex. If your friends are avid social media users also consider speaking to them about what and how they post about you.

  • Don’t post anything about your separation or any legal proceedings on social media.  As cathartic as it may feel to get things off your chest, this can cause a lot of animosity and you could be breaching privacy laws or find yourself facing civil proceedings.  You could even find your posts being held against you in any future proceedings, especially those involving your children so it’s best avoided altogether. 

  • Try to agree ground rules with your ex for social media and your children about what will and will not be shared about the children publicly or to closed groups of friends.  If you can agree this at the outset it should hopefully save any disagreements in the future. 

There are many reasons why it is important for individuals to be tech-savvy and protect their privacy and information in this digital age. Separating couples need to be especially mindful that their ex-partner may look to take advantage of any information they can access. It is essential that individuals take appropriate steps to ensure they disentangle themselves, both physically and technologically, when separating.

Click here for more articles by Naomi Hayward

About Naomi

Naomi Hayward joined Furley Page in 2008. Naomi has developed a strong practice in all aspects of family law which includes: Asset protection on relationship breakdown, Complex child related disputes, Collaborative law, Pre and post nuptial agreements, Applications to remove a child from the country and specific issue applications.

Naomi has a particular specialism for complex, high net worth financial matters and complex child arrangements and disputes.

Naomi recognises that leaving a relationship is difficult and can have devastating effects on the whole family. She is committed to finding constructive solutions that help clients separate with dignity.

Naomi has access to experts who can assist when required, such as accountants, financial advisers, pensions experts, therapists and trusts lawyers.

Naomi also became a collaborative lawyer in 2014 meaning that she is able to offer clients an alternative method of resolving family disputes rather than the traditional method of solicitors’ correspondence and court proceedings.

Collaborative law involves the parties and their collaborative lawyers having informal discussions and joint meetings for the purposes of settling all issues in a dignified and respectful way. This is a non-confrontational approach with an aim of achieving family led agreements that suits you and your family to help couples remain as amicable as possible.

As well as being a member of Resolution, Naomi is active throughout the Resolution organisation both at a national and regional level. Naomi currently sits as Vice-Chair of the Kent Resolution Committee and as a member of the National Resolution Wellbeing Committee.

Naomi divides her time between the Canterbury, Chatham and Whitstable offices and is available at all three sites.

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Is getting divorced online the way forward
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Digital divorce: Is getting divorced online the way forward post-pandemic?

Published on
Angela Maxfield
Angela Maxfield
Solicitor in Family Law Team
Nelsons’

Many areas of life that are usually dealt with in person have been conducted online during the pandemic – and divorce proceedings are no exception.

As the COVID-19 restrictions ease, however, and near-normal service starts to resume, will digital divorces become the way forward or will clients return to their solicitors’ offices and courtrooms?

Are more divorcing couples now having digital divorces?

Most mediators only offer virtual meetings, while court hearings take place via phone and video. Divorce proceedings had been heading online before the pandemic but that change had only just come in for solicitors. Coronavirus has accelerated the decision to go digital.

What are the advantages of taking divorce online?

When it comes to the mediation aspects of divorce, some people feel more comfortable doing it over Zoom or Teams because they don’t have to be in the same room as their ex-partner. Mediators do have ways of getting around that potential issue though without going online.

For people handling their own divorce, taking the digital route means they can do it after normal working hours as the internet is available to them at any time. Of course, their application won’t be processed by the court until the working week begins, but it can be uploaded after hours. Digital divorces are quicker; during the pandemic court offices have been working remotely.

Are there any disadvantages?

Some aspects of the divorce process are definitely not best dealt with online. Couples who try to manage their own divorce proceedings online can find that the process moves more quickly than they anticipate and then find themselves at a disadvantage being divorced without first having sorted out their finances.

A good solicitor will advise their clients that they can use the court’s digital portal to reduce the costs on divorce, but that they are most unwise to ever consider not seeking the advice of a lawyer on where they stand financially before starting the divorce process online.  This is because some rights, for example spouses pensions, are lost at the moment the divorce is finalised.

Advice is also necessary because many people fail to appreciate that just because they are divorced that in itself doesn’t bring to an end the financial claims of their former spouse.  Further steps are needed in order to finalise those claims which otherwise remain open, potentially forever.

Also, some divorces produced online don’t look quite as official as paper ones. There have been occasions where clients haven’t been sure if they’ve received their court papers or not.  A solicitor can quickly clarify the position.

Do digital divorces save couples time and money?

Online divorce proceedings are designed for processing the divorce as opposed to settling the couple’s finances. If it’s a straightforward divorce, it can save parting spouses money as they only have the court fee to pay and not the solicitor.

Other than the fixed legal time limits, it can also save them time as the digital paperwork can be turned around much more quickly than the paper documents.

Solicitors also have access to the court’s digital portal and utilise the facility where they can to speed up the process for their clients where this is possible and appropriate.

Using the digital process without first seeking proper legal advice can mean that couples can lose out financially.

Will digital divorce continue once the pandemic is over?

With regard to processing divorce documents, the online option will continue. It is highly unlikely that the courts will backtrack on this now as removing the need for paperwork must save them a lot of time and money. Well before the pandemic, it was always the courts’ intention to go digital wherever possible. The outbreak has served to hasten this development.

Divorce hearings will continue to be held in court to some extent despite the digital revolution. Some hearings don’t work well online. Many people find them less than satisfactory, so in an ideal world, they will go back to face-to-face. On the other hand, directions hearings are procedural so may continue to take place either by video or phone, as they can be dealt with quite efficiently in this way.

Furthermore, financial consent orders work really well digitally. They can be uploaded to the court portal and dealt with rapidly, within a maximum time scale of four weeks.

Pre-pandemic, these orders were taking three to four months, so going digital has really speeded things up.  However, it is important that clients get independent legal advice on finances before considering applying for a consent order so that they are aware of all of their rights and understand the implications and consequences of the terms of the proposed order.

Hopefully, those hearings where final decisions are made with regard to the children of divorcing couples will no longer be held remotely – that way people can feel more confident that these important and emotional aspects have been dealt with properly.  The courts are already moving towards listing these hearings in a courtroom.

Body language can’t be read as accurately over a video call as it can in person. Video links can be disjointed – people start talking at the same time, especially on phones when there are no visual clues, or they can be cut off. Mobile signals at home can be unreliable and, as many of us have witnessed during the pandemic, there can be delays getting people on the line. While these are all challenges with technology that we’ve come to expect, it adds to what is already a highly-stressful time.

Some hearings are already going back to being held in courtrooms, so clearly, the intention is there. I imagine they’ll increase as social distancing regulations ease, making it easier to use more courtrooms at the same time.

Bearing all of this in mind, ideally, there should be a hybrid approach to divorce proceedings as we emerge from the pandemic.

Click here for more articles from Nelsons’

About Angela Maxfield

Angela qualified as a solicitor in 1985 and joined Nelsons’ expert family law team in December 2020 as an associate. Angela specialises in family law and advises on divorce, dissolution of civil partnerships, finances and private children disputes.

For more information on divorce and separation, please visit www.nelsonslaw.co.uk/divorce-and-separation or call 0800 024 1976.

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online divorce appplication

Online Divorce Application? YES YOU CAN

Published on
Carmen Hudson (LLB) Director DivorceBox
Carmen Hudson (LLB) Director DivorceBox

Gary Lineker is making headlines and front pages today with his call to make getting divorced as easy as getting married stating:

‘It is easy to get married and very difficult to get divorced’

The article then goes on to discuss the potential conflict of interests that are inherent in the fact that solicitors charge by the hour and quick divorces will make them less money.

I am constantly asked if you can really get divorced for £69.

And the answer is yes. An online divorce can cost you as little as £69 (if you receive a full fee remission).

For those individuals that don’t receive a fee remission a court fee is payable of £550. But it is still possible to get divorced for less than the cost of an iPhone.

You will use the same forms, the same process, the same courts and it will take the same amount of time to get your decree absolute.

This is achieved because of the advances that have been made with technology. We have simply passed these on to our client’s.

Separation and divorce can be very challenging on a personal level but from a legal stand point it can be as simple as filing the forms. An online divorce can facilitate that for you.

Or look at this way:

You are in central London and need to get from one side to the other as quickly as possible, so you ask the driver of a Black Cab. What do you expect his answer to be?

It might be quicker by taxi, it might be quicker on the tube, it will depend on the time of day, the traffic, the distance you want to go, and the route taken.

We all instinctively know that 9 times out of 10 the cabbie will recommend that he takes you in his cab, no matter what the conditions are.

Divorce is not a one size fits all situation. But the legal sector promotes it’s services this way. You MUST use a solicitor to get divorced.

That is not the reality.

For more information on getting divorced and the divorce process see: www.gov.uk/divorce

Carmen Hudson (LLB) is a director and head of legal of operations at DivorceBox.com a online legal service provider specialising in online divorce (e-divorce).

After 15 years in dispute resolution she founded DivorceBox to offer a less intimidating alternative to traditional legal services.

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10 MYTHS ABOUT ONLINE DIVORCE UK

10 Myths about Online Divorce UK

Published on
Carmen Hudson (LLB) Director DivorceBox.com
Carmen Hudson (LLB) Director DivorceBox.com

So many questions have been asked about online divorce, so Carmen Hudson, Director at Divorcebox, has taken the time to give us the top 10 myths about online divorce UK

Myth #1 – You need to use a Solicitor to get divorced

A common misconception is that you need to instruct a solicitor to obtain a divorce.

In reality 40% of divorce applications* in England and Wales are concluded without using a solicitor.

For more information on divorce and the divorce process visit: www.gov.uk/divorce/overview or www.divorcebox.com

Myth #2 – You have to wait 2 years or 5 years before you can get divorced

There are two criteria that a couple have to meet to make a divorce application.

  1. That the marriage/civil partnership has irretrievably broken down
  2. That you have been married/civil partners for at least one year prior to your application

The ‘facts’ used to prove the above are:

  • Unreasonable behaviour (the most common fact cited)
  • Adultery
  • 2 years separation with consent of both parties(often referred to as a no fault divorce)
  • 2 years separation, Desertion
  • 5 years separation, Desertion

You can get a divorce after one year if your spouse/civil partner has behaved in a way that you consider to be unreasonable or has committed adultery.

The 2 and 5 year criteria refer to no fault divorce applications where there are no allegations about your spouses behaviour. You can divorce by mutual agreement after 2 years or because your spouse has ‘deserted’ you for a period of 2 or 5 years respectively.

Myth #3 – Quickie Divorces

When the press refer to a quickie divorce they are in fact referring to a uncontested divorce where both parties agree to the divorce. No firm or company can influence the speed at which your divorce is granted. This is determined by two things:

  • The court/Divorce Centres schedule or workload.
  • The co-operation of both spouses who agree to the divorce

These are the two factors that will influence the speed at which your divorce is granted.

10 MYTHS ABOUT ONLINE DIVORCE UK

Myth #4 – You have to attend court to get a divorce

Very few divorce applications are defended, where one party doesn’t agree to the divorce application, and an even smaller number of those require a hearing.

The majority of divorces are dealt with without either party having to attend court.

Myth #5 – Finances are settled on a 50/50 basis

When people refer to financial divorce settlements they are generally referring to a settlement by court order. It is worth noting that you do not have to apply for an order or go to court to resolve financial or childcare issues (see #8 below).

If you did decide to make an application to the court for a financial order there is no automatic division of assets on a 50/50 basis or in any other proportion. What the judge will look at is the circumstances of the divorcing couple and the needs of both parties.

Remember the pendulum can swing both ways. Either party can be potentially ordered to pay maintenance to the other party and the court does not automatically give a ‘stay at home parent’ a bigger slice of the cake.

Myth #6 – I need a consent order

A consent order is:

“a financial contract, jointly agreed by a divorcing couple, that finalises the financial obligations arising from the marriage/civil partnership”.

Firstly if your spouse doesn’t want to sign a consent order, you can not get one, as a contract requires the consent of both parties.

Secondly if you have children it may not be in your best interests to ‘consent’ to a contract that allows for no future changes in financial arrangements (that may or may not have been agreed in a separate agreement), because your children’s circumstances may change for a variety of reasons in the years ahead.

Consent orders are not a one size fits all instrument. It will depend entirely on your circumstances and the co-operation of both parties.

You can obtain a consent order in addition to completing a DIY divorce or online application if both parties are in agreement.

Myth #7 – Legal Aid is not available for divorce applications/Court Fees

10 MYTHS ABOUT ONLINE DIVORCE UKThis myth is mostly true but there are schemes in place to assist those couples going through divorce. Legal Aid is no longer available for most family law matters but there is an exception for matters involving domestic abuse.

However, fee remission of the court fee for a divorce application is available for those individuals that meet the income criteria. Meaning that those on lower incomes or benefits are entitled to a full or partial remission of the court fee for a divorce application.

Financial and childcare arrangements:  Legal Aid is available for mediation if you meet the income criteria. Mediation helps you sort out arrangements about finances and children following divorce or separation.

Myth #8 – You can not get an online divorce if you need to make a financial agreement or arrangements in respect of children

A divorce application is separate to any financial agreements or arrangements in respect of children. They are often dealt with at the same time and run alongside each other but each matter is dealt with in it’s own right.

You can get divorced using an online application and deal with financial matters and childcare arrangements separately without referring the matter to court if you wish to do so.

Family Mediation:  Mediation is where an independent and impartial third party discusses issues with you and your ex-spouse/civil partner to try and reach an agreement. Mediation can be conducted separately if the circumstances require it.

Mediation is not about getting back together. It is an opportunity for a divorcing couple to make arrangements about a number of issues, including but not limited to financial affairs, housing, child care arrangements and how to deal with any property.

Legal Aid is available for mediation if you qualify.

Myth #9 – Online divorce is for people with no assets

This is another popular divorce myth. However, it was recently reported that Gary Lineker got divorced online and as such is likely to have dealt with any financials matters separately.

Myth #10 – Divorce is expensive

This myth is often supported by press coverage on big money divorces. But divorce applications do not have to be expensive or complicated. There are schemes available for those individuals on lower incomes and you can reduce the cost further by completing your application online.

Costs of divorce:

Application forms – the application form is available for free at hmctsformfinder.justice.gov.uk or DivorceBox.com

Court Fee £410 – this can be reduced to £0 if you qualify for remission

Family Mediation – Legal Aid is available for mediation

Online divorce – DivorceBox packages from £39.00

 

*https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/family-court-statistics-quarterly-july-to-september-2015

Carmen Hudson (LLB) is a director and head of legal of operations at DivorceBox.com a online legal service provider specialising in online divorce (e-divorce).

After 15 years in dispute resolution she founded DivorceBox to offer a less intimidating alternative to traditional legal services.

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Online Divorce UK – How to File for Divorce Online

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Carmen Hudson (LLB) Director DivorceBox.com
Carmen Hudson (LLB) Director DivorceBox.com

In this interview, Carmen Hudson of Divorcebox, explains how you can file for divorce online:

Divorce online is exactly like any other divorce except that is done online. 

Going through divorce is a very difficult experience but in the case where both partners agree to the divorce, the divorce process itself can be reduced to a procedural exercise and that’s where online divorce comes in.

If you prefer to go down the avenue of alternative dispute resolution, you can still instigate your  divorce online and deal with the paper work online and reduce that side of it, that element of it to a procedural exercise.

Can I get all necessary divorce papers online in order for me to be able to file for divorce online?

Yes, they are absolutely free online from her Majesty’s Court website.  They are free so never, pay for divorce papers or divorce forms.  You can even download them for free as a pack from our website. There are people who sell packages which include the divorce papers but what you need to know is what you’re paying for.  That would be my advice to you.

Online divorce is about choice.

Is online divorce for those with within the low income bracket?  That’s the picture that we often get.

That is the picture that they do portray but that is not the case.  It’s like in the case of family mediation as a divorce process, it’s for anybody but it’s not necessarily suitable for everybody.  If the divorce is likely to be defended and hearings necessary, online divorce wouldn’t necessarily be suitable in that instant.

But in terms of net worth, just recently we had Gary Lineker choosing to go through his divorce process using the divorce online route. 

This is a good example of how a high net worth individual has chosen to go through the divorce process by taking the non-adversarial route, non-contentious route, because it helps shine the light on the fact that you can do it, without involving the lawyers, without it being a messy divorce. 

So finances do not affect whether or not you can have an online divorce, what is important is that you can agree to divorce with your ex-partner.  You can sort out houses, finances, children through other avenues.

So to file for divorce online, it needs to be an uncontested divorce.

Can you start your divorce online at anytime or do the grounds for divorce still hold?

Online divorce, DIY divorce, divorce through a solicitor are all the same thing.  All the exact same application forms, all the same rules apply as well as the reasons and the facts that you use to prove the divorce are exactly the same as you would use if you were going through the divorce process through a solicitor or via DIY divorce. 

It all comes down to how you chose to file for divorce the rest stays the same including the grounds for divorce.

Is going through the divorce online quicker ?

The divorce process is in the hands of  divorce centres.  So it will depend on your regional divorce centre and some regions are slightly better than other regions.  

They will dictate, the timetable and schedule of any divorce be it DIY, be it online divorce be it through a solicitor.

The difference with an online divorce is that you can instigate and initiate the divorce yourself from home, so you’re in control of the timetable.  So you’re not waiting for solicitors and you don’t have to go to a solicitor’s office. 

So this is an advantage to be gained.  It’s the convenience of doing it at home and at your own pace. 

So you can find the divorce papers online, you can file for divorce online, you don’t have to wait for the forms to arrive, you don’t have to go out and meet someone and you don’t have to cough up a lot of money.

You can print the forms out, attach your cheque, send them to your divorce centre and it can be as simple as that.

I don’t want to say that divorce is easy, I don’t like that whole easy divorce thing, because the divorce process itself can be devastating for people, but the actual application, can be a procedural exercise. 

What about clean break?  How does online divorce help.

Financial matters and matters in relation to children and matters in relation to property, are separate to but run alongside the divorce application.

So the divorce application is one application to the court then if need be, you can make a separate application in relation to the children and then you can make a financial application.  They are parallel but they are not all on the same form.

Mediation works very well with online divorce.

What we find is people find that if they want to keep it out of the court and they want to go down the alternative dispute resolution path and they don’t want to put it in the hands of the judge, they can use a combination of online divorce and family mediation.  That puts the family and the spouses at the heart of the decision making process.  So you can actually reach a compromise with the mediation and also do your online divorce parallel to that.

Carmen Hudson (LLB) is a director and head of legal of operations at DivorceBox.com a online legal service provider specialising in online divorce (e-divorce).

After 15 years in dispute resolution she founded DivorceBox to offer a less intimidating alternative to traditional legal services.

c.hudson@divorcebox.com

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online divorce uk

Online Divorce UK – 2016 A New Era For the Divorce Process

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Carmen Hudson (LLB) Director DivorceBox.com
Carmen Hudson (LLB) Director DivorceBox.com

2015 heralded lots of significant changes for divorce and family law.

We started the year with the government expressing concern about the potential for geographical ‘advice deserts’ and the likely ‘effect of geographical provision …of civil and family law’(1) services following the cuts to legal aid for the majority of family law cases.

Between the months of January and October we had, the long anticipated, roll out of the new Divorce Centres and introduction of a Single Family Court system.

The rational behind their introduction (to make the act of divorce more procedural) was welcomed by many in the sector.

We experienced and overcame the inevitable ‘teething problems’ that accompany any major change in structure or practice. And concluded the year with a disappointing delay to the second reading of the ‘No Fault Divorce Bill’ which is now expected to take place in the new year.

As a nation the way in which we divorce certainly changed in 2015.

And whilst there was a reduction in the number of providers offering legal aid services (down from 1,899 in 2013 to 1,435 in 2014 (2)) the legal services sector has responded robustly with many providers offering fixed fee, low cost and online solutions. As such geographical boundaries are becoming less relevant.

So what does this mean for those couples making the difficult decision to separate and divorce in 2016.

In 2016 you can literally get divorced from the comfort of your own home and commentators will inevitably be quick to criticise the advances currently taking place within the sector.

But we should try and remember that making the decision to end a marriage/civil partnership is hard enough for those involved, and is rarely taken lightly.

Advancements that improve the current process should be embraced and not derided.

In 2011 a report by the Family Justice Review recommended that ‘the process for initiating divorce should begin with the online hub and should be dealt with administratively by the court, unless the divorce is disputed'(3).

In 2015 the MOJ took a big step in the right direction with the introduction of Divorce Centres, the Single Family Court with a single jurisdiction and a single point of entry.

But whilst we welcome such changes this is only a partial step towards streamlining the divorce process.

Unfortunately it is the private sector that is once again leading the way. Personally at my own company DivorceBox.com an online provider offering edivorce we ensure that all our services are compatible across all devices and platforms. And we aim to make the divorce process as smooth as possible.

Divorce is not a situation in which people, ‘choose to litigate’, a divorce application is legally the only way in which you can dissolve a marriage/civil partnership and as such should be made as simple as possible.

Carmen Hudson (LLB) is a director and head of legal of operations at DivorceBox.com a online legal service provider specialising in online divorce (e-divorce).

After 15 years in dispute resolution she founded DivorceBox to offer a less intimidating alternative to traditional legal services.

c.hudson@divorcebox.com

 

  1. Justice – Eighth Report: Impact of changes to civil legal aid under Part 1 of LASPO Act 2012, 4 March 2015, Ch 5 (para 73) 2015.

http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm201415/cmselect/cmjust/311/31108.htm

  1. Justice – Eighth Report: Impact of changes to civil legal aid under Part 1 of LASPO Act 2012, 4 March 2015 Ch 5 (para 74) 2015.

http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm201415/cmselect/cmjust/311/31108.htm

  1. Family Justice Review, Final Report 2011, p25 (para 131) https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/217343/family-justice-review-final-report.pdf

 

 

 

 

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Online divorce
/

Is an Online Divorce Right for You?

Published on
Online Divorces
Jay Williams
From
Quickie Divorce

In April 2013, individuals that were seeking to divorce their husband or wife were no longer entitled to legal aid (unless they had been the victim of domestic abuse) irrespective of their financial circumstances.

As a result of this, companies offering online divorce have received an ever increasing amount of attention and have also experienced an upturn in business. Why?

To put it simply, an online divorce is significantly cheaper than one performed by a solicitor.

But does this mean that it is the right way for you to proceed?

Firstly, online divorce providers are not solicitors.

This means that they cannot provide legal advice. Yes, we understand the divorce process, know how to prepare the necessary documents and can answer questions of fact, but we cannot negotiate a settlement with your spouse, nor can we advise you on whether or not an agreement that the two of you have reached – in principal – is fair.

Oh, and if you don’t both consent to the divorce then, sorry, but an online divorce is definitely not for you – we can only help if you’re both in agreement.

Generally speaking, an online divorce is appropriate when

a) both you and your spouse want the divorce (as discussed above)

b) when there is no dispute over assets (properties, savings, etc.) 

c) you are able to agree on whom your children will live with and how often the non-resident parent will be able to see them, whether or not they will stay with them, and so on.

You may hear solicitors say that you should only pursue an online divorce when there are no children involved, no significant assets to divide and when you have only been married for a short period of time, but this is not the case.

The length of the marriage is not relevant at all and an online divorce is not appropriate if you and your spouse cannot agree on how to divide your assets or new childcare arrangements only.

That said it is in no way advisable that you and your spouse agree on how to divide your assets without having sought some legal advice.

More important, though, is that you do not to agree to something purely because you’re tired of negotiating or in order to save money. Remember that this settlement may be required to pay the deposit on a new property, survive on a reduced income and much more.

If you are in any way displeased with a proposed settlement or are concerned that it will not meet your needs, then it is highly advisable that you instruct a solicitor. The same applies if you are unable to reach agreements with regards to any children that may be involved.

It is, of course, natural to save money whenever possible, but whilst I believe that online divorce providers offer an outstanding product, it is often vital that those going through a divorce seek the advice of a solicitor in order to ensure that they are not left regretting their decision in the long run.

If you and your spouse are in agreement, are amicable and are both happy with your agreements, though, then an online divorce may indeed be an economical and quick way to end your marriage.

Jay Williams

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The Digital Divorce: The Breakup Nobody Prepares You For

The Digital Divorce: The Breakup Nobody Prepares You For

Published on
Monika Braglewicz
Monika Braglewicz
Breakup and Divorce Coach
Coach With Monika

When people think about divorce, they usually picture the obvious milestones.

Finding somewhere new to live, speaking to a solicitor, working out finances, telling family and friends, learning how to co-parent. What they don’t picture is sitting alone at 11pm, scrolling through every app on their phone, quietly scrolling through years of shared digital life.

Yet for many people, that’s exactly what happens. I call it the digital divorce.

It’s the process of separating your online life from someone else’s. Removing them from shared accounts, changing passwords, updating emergency contacts, deciding what to do with thousands of photos.

These might sound like small jobs, but they often carry much more emotional weight than people expect.

It’s a part of separation that very few people talk about, despite the fact it’s becoming something almost everyone experiences.

When your phone won’t let you move on

Years ago, reminders of a relationship were mostly physical. A jumper left in the wardrobe, a wedding photo on the mantelpiece, a favourite restaurant you avoided for a while.

Today, our relationships exist just as much online as they do offline. Your ex might still be saved as “Home” in your Uber account.

Google Photos might decide today is the perfect day to remind you about a holiday you took together three years ago. Spotify is still asking whether you want to continue your Duo subscription. Your phone still autofills their address.

None of these things are big on their own. But together, they create a constant stream of unexpected reminders that can make it much harder to move on.

Why social media makes letting go harder

Then there’s social media. For many people, resisting the temptation to look at an ex-partner’s profile becomes one of the hardest parts of healing.

Research suggests between 60% and 70% of people admit checking an ex’s social media after a breakup, while some academic studies have found the figure could be as high as 88%. Psychologists often refer to this behaviour as digital surveillance or attachment monitoring, and research has consistently linked it with higher emotional distress and greater difficulty moving on.

It isn’t because people necessarily want their relationship back.

Sometimes they’re simply curious, sometimes they’re looking for reassurance they’ve made the right decision, sometimes they’re hoping to see signs that the other person isn’t coping either.

Whatever the reason, those quick checks often keep people emotionally connected to someone they’re trying to let go of. As a divorce coach, I hear clients describe this all the time.

They know looking isn’t helping them, but the urge can feel almost automatic. One look turns into five minutes. Five minutes turns into an evening spent analysing photographs, comments and who’s liked whose posts. It’s exhausting.

Healing isn’t just emotional anymore

One of the biggest changes I’ve noticed over the years is that healing after divorce isn’t only about processing emotions anymore.

It’s also about managing technology. Something as simple as changing your emergency contact can suddenly become emotional.

Removing someone from your medical records, taking them off your insurance policy or deleting them as your next of kin isn’t just administration. It’s another sign that your life has changed.

Even deciding what to do with old photographs can feel impossible. Some people want to delete everything immediately. Others can’t bear the thought of losing those memories, even though they know looking at them hurts. Neither response is wrong.

The important thing is recognising that these aren’t simply digital tasks. They’re emotional milestones, and they deserve the same patience and compassion you would give yourself in any other part of the divorce process.

Give yourself permission to do it step by step

One mistake people often make is believing they have to sort everything out in one weekend. In reality, the digital divorce can happen in stages.

Start with the practical things that protect your independence and security.

Change passwords, update emergency contacts, remove shared payment methods, review which apps still have access to your location or personal information.

Those changes aren’t about erasing someone from your life. They’re about creating healthy boundaries.

The more emotional tasks like deleting photographs can wait until you’re ready.

Creating space for what’s next

One of the ways I encourage clients to think about the digital divorce is this:

You’re not deleting your past, you’re creating space for your future.

Every account you separate, every password you update, they’re all small reminders that you’re rebuilding your own life.

That doesn’t diminish the relationship or pretend it never mattered, it just acknowledges that you’re making room for new routines, new memories and eventually, a new chapter.

You’re not the only one experiencing this

The hardest part about the digital divorce is that so many people go through it without realising it has a name.

Friends prepare you for the legal process. They prepare you for mediation, they prepare you for financial settlements.

Very few prepare you for the moment your phone unexpectedly reminds you of an anniversary you’d forgotten, or when Spotify asks whether you’d like to continue sharing your subscription.

These moments can feel surprisingly painful because they arrive without warning.

If you’ve found yourself caught off guard by something as simple as updating an app or seeing an old photograph appear on your screen, you’re not overreacting.

You’re experiencing a very modern part of separation that many people quietly struggle through. Healing today isn’t just about letting go emotionally. Sometimes it’s about gently logging out of the life you once shared, one password, one app and one small digital thread at a time.

About Monika Braglewicz

Monika is an accredited breakup and divorce coach who helps people navigate relationship change with clarity, confidence and compassion. Having overcome divorce, financial hardship and homelessness herself, she combines lived experience with professional coaching to support clients through separation, co-parenting, heartbreak and life after divorce, helping them rebuild with resilience and purpose.

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Divorce Exposed My Coping Mechanisms

Published on
Carol Madden
Carol Madden
Separation and Divorce Coach
Carol Madden Coaching

Divorce didn’t just break my heart. It exposed the ways I’d learned to survive when life fell apart.

Not straight away. In the beginning I was just getting through the days, doing what I needed to do to survive the shock of it all. But over time, when things quietened down a little, I started to see myself more clearly. The patterns underneath. The ways I was trying to manage something that felt unbearable.

One of the first things I saw was how quickly I turned on myself. I told myself stories about not being able to love properly, not being worth fighting for, not being able to succeed at family life. Not being lovable.

There was also a lot of denial. I didn’t want to look too closely at certain things. At one point I couldn’t fully take in that my ex husband was seeing someone almost immediately after we separated. That truth felt too sharp, too destabilising, so I softened it, told myself versions of events that hurt less to manage the pain.

I can see now that all of that was just me trying to cope with a devastating experience. I was trying to deal with something I didn’t have the capacity to feel all at once.

Alcohol was in the mix too. Nothing dramatic, just a way of taking the edge off at the end of a long week alone without my kids. It was a distraction from the emotional intensity I didn’t know how to sit with.

And then there was the pull towards a new relationship. The urge to not be alone. Not because I was ready to give myself to someone, but because loneliness after a long relationship can feel like physical pain. It creates a sense that something needs to be fixed immediately.

It took me years to understand that these were my coping strategies. At the time they just felt like survival. I didn’t have language for it then. I was just moving through it the best way I knew how.

It was only later, when things had settled a bit, that I could start to see the pattern clearly. And even then I didn’t rush the process of working through it. Some of it was too painful to look at head on, so I went slowly. Carefully. A bit at a time.

When you feel ready enough to look at your own coping mechanisms, you also start to see what you’ve been avoiding. For me, that was grief.

The actual grief of the marriage ending, of the future I thought I was going to have disappearing, of the parts of myself that had gotten lost and of the things that hadn’t turned out the way I wanted them to. Both during my marriage and in the rebuilding process after divorce.

I had spent a long time staying busy, staying distracted, staying in stories that made it easier to tolerate. But underneath that there was a lot of feeling I hadn’t really touched.

Eventually, I started to get curious instead of avoidant. I started to notice how quickly I reached for something to numb or escape discomfort.

I started to see how much energy went into not feeling what was actually there. And I started to understand that I couldn’t think my way out of it. I had to actually sit with it. Let it move through.

That’s where things started to change for the better. Slowly and steadily, I began to rebuild trust in myself. In my ability to stay with myself even when things felt overwhelming. Even when I was struggling and didn’t like what I was feeling.

I started to let go of some of the coping strategies that had helped me survive but weren’t helping me anymore, and I began building new ones. Ways of being with myself that didn’t rely on escape or numbing or rewriting reality to make it easier to tolerate.

Over time, that created space. Space for different thoughts and choices about where my life was heading. Some of them really surprised me, they weren’t what I thought I wanted when I was acting from avoidance and survival.

This is what divorce does. It exposes you. It shows you what you’ve been leaning on. It shows you how you’ve been getting through. And then, if you’re willing to look at it, it gives you the chance to start again from somewhere more honest.

Healing from divorce doesn’t unfold in a way that makes sense while you’re in it, but over time it becomes something else. A slow stripping back of old patterns. A slow return to yourself.

And even with all of the difficulty that comes with it, it’s a much more peaceful place to be.

Because once you can see the ways you’ve been coping, you no longer have to be ruled by them. You can stop running from your pain and begin sitting with it instead.

It’s not easy. In many ways, it’s harder. But it’s also where real healing begins. And while it may not lead to a perfect life, it leads to a more honest one. One with more peace, more choice, and a deeper connection to yourself.

Click here for more articles by Carol Madden

About Carol Madden

Hello, my name is Carol Madden and I am a certified divorce coach working with clients around the world from my online practice in New Zealand.

I aim to help individuals navigate the often overwhelming emotions and practical considerations of separating from a spouse. I understand the unique challenges that divorce can bring, having been through my own divorce ten years ago.

I believe that divorce can be an opportunity for growth and positive change, rather than just a painful ending. Through my coaching, I help clients gain clarity and confidence as they move forward in their lives.

As a writer, I am excited to share my perspectives on divorce with readers seeking solid support during their separations. Whether providing tips for managing the emotional rollercoaster or offering practical advice for effectively co-parenting, I want to help others through this challenging time.

Discover me on social media:

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Why Divorce Coaching Might be the Missing Piece in Your Separation

Published on
Kate Schenk
Specialist Divorce and Separation Coach

When legal advice and therapy aren’t quite enough, there’s a third kind of support that could change everything.

When you’re going through a separation or divorce, everyone seems to have advice. Your lawyer tells you what’s legally smart. Your therapist helps you process your feelings. Your friends offer opinions over a glass of wine. And yet, despite all of that input, many people find themselves stuck — overwhelmed by decisions, unsure of their next move, and feeling utterly alone in navigating a transition that touches every single part of their life. There’s often a significant gap between the emotional work and the practical decision-making, and that gap is exactly where divorce coaching comes in.

The In-Between Space No One Talks About

Divorce isn’t just a legal process. It isn’t just an emotional journey, either. It’s both, simultaneously, while you’re also trying to co-parent children who are scared and confused, manage a financial situation that’s suddenly become much more complicated, potentially move house, and figure out who you even are without your partner. It’s overwhelming because you’re being asked to make some of the most consequential decisions of your life at the exact moment you’re experiencing some of the most intense emotions of your life.
This is the space no one adequately prepares you for. Your solicitor is focused on protecting your legal interests — as they should be. Your therapist is helping you process grief, anger, and fear in the deeper sense. But neither of them is sitting with you asking: “What do you actually want your life to look like in five years? And what decisions do you need to make this week to move towards that?”
A divorce coach helps you navigate that in-between space. Not as a therapist, and not as a legal advisor, but as the person who helps you take what you’re feeling and turn it into forward movement. The person who helps you make decisions that align with who you’re becoming, not just who you were.

What Makes Divorce Coaching Different

The simplest way to explain the difference is this: therapy helps you understand why you feel the way you do; divorce coaching helps you decide what to do about it. Your therapist might help you work through the deep-rooted anger you feel toward your ex. A divorce coach helps you figure out how to communicate with them about a custody arrangement next Tuesday without that anger derailing the entire conversation.
Divorce coaching is forward-facing and action-oriented. It focuses on the very practical questions that keep you up at night: How do I tell the children? What do I actually need in this settlement — not just financially, but emotionally? How do I respond to my ex’s messages without losing my composure? Should I keep the house, or is holding on to it holding me back? How do I even begin to think about dating again? What boundaries do I need to put in place right now?
But the work doesn’t stop at the practical. A skilled divorce coach also holds space for the bigger, deeper questions that this transition forces to the surface: Who am I outside of this relationship? What do I genuinely want my life to look like? How do I rebuild my confidence after it’s been shaken? What patterns do I need to recognise and break so I don’t repeat the same dynamics in future relationships? These aren’t just nice-to-haves. They’re the questions that determine whether you simply get through your divorce or whether you actually grow through it.

Why Your Inner Circle Isn’t Enough

Your friends love you. Your family wants what’s best for you — or at least, what they believe is best for you. But neither your friends nor your family are objective, and objectivity is precisely what you need right now. Your closest friend might tell you what you want to hear because they can’t bear to watch you suffer. Your mother might project her own fears about financial security onto your every decision. Your brother who went through a difficult divorce might see your situation through the lens of his own unresolved bitterness.
There’s also an invisible time limit on how long the people who love you can hold space for this process. Divorce, particularly when children, property, and complex emotions are involved, can take years to fully resolve. Even the most loving, supportive friend gets tired of hearing about it after a while — even when you’re still living it every single day. The last thing you need is to feel like a burden on top of everything else.
A divorce coach is in your corner without judgement, without fatigue, and without their own emotional investment in your decisions. Having supported many people through this exact process, a coach brings a level of experience and perspective that no friend or family member can offer. They know what tends to work, what commonly goes wrong, and how to help you avoid the pitfalls that make an already difficult transition harder than it needs to be.

The Real Reason Divorce Coaching Matters

Separation is one of the few moments in adult life where you are given, whether you wanted it or not, the opportunity to completely rebuild. To look at the life you were living and ask, honestly, whether it was truly yours. To make choices not based on who you were when you were half of a couple, but based on who you want to become.
That is terrifying, yes. There is real grief in it, real loss, and real uncertainty. No one should minimise that. But inside that terrifying space, there is also extraordinary possibility. Divorce coaching isn’t just about surviving the process — it’s about using this transition as a launchpad for something more authentic, more aligned, and more genuinely yours than anything you had before.
You don’t have to do this alone. And you don’t have to merely survive it. With the right kind of support, you can actually transform through it — and come out the other side not just intact, but more yourself than ever.

10 Action Tips for Navigating Your Separation

Whether you’re at the very beginning of this process or somewhere in the middle, these practical steps can help you move forward with more clarity and confidence.

  1. Separate the legal from the emotional. Your solicitor’s job is to protect your legal interests, not to manage your emotional state. Before any significant legal meeting, spend ten minutes writing down what you want to achieve in that conversation — practically, not emotionally.
  2. Create a decision-free zone. Identify times in your week when you deliberately do not think about your divorce. Your brain needs rest to make good decisions. Even an hour a day of genuine mental distance will improve the quality of your thinking when you re-engage.
  3. Write out what you actually want. Not what you think you deserve, not what your solicitor says you can get — but what would genuinely make your life better over the next ten years. This clarity will guide every negotiation.
  4. Have a script for the difficult conversations. Whether it’s talking to your children, responding to your ex’s messages, or updating your wider family, prepare what you’re going to say in advance. Improvising when emotions are high rarely ends well.
  5. Get financially literate, fast. If your ex managed the finances, now is the time to understand exactly where things stand. Request all statements, know what assets and liabilities exist, and consider a session with an independent financial adviser before your settlement is finalised.
  6. Set boundaries on communication. If messages from your ex throw you off for hours, consider limiting communication to set times and specific platforms. It is entirely reasonable — and often legally advisable — to communicate in writing during proceedings.
  7. Build your support team intentionally. Think of it like assembling a board of advisors: a solicitor, a therapist or counsellor, a financial adviser, and a divorce coach each play a different role. You don’t have to use all of them, but knowing who does what will help you ask the right person the right questions.
  8. Protect your children from the detail. Children need to know they are loved by both parents and that the practical aspects of their life are secure. They do not need to know the contents of your settlement negotiations, what your ex said in a text, or how you really feel about their other parent.
  9. Start building your identity outside the relationship now. Pick up something you gave up during the relationship. Accept the invitation you’d normally decline. Let yourself be curious about who you are when you’re not defined by being someone’s partner. This isn’t distraction — it’s essential work.
  10. Give yourself permission to do this imperfectly. You will not navigate this transition with grace every single day. You will send the message you shouldn’t have, cry in an inconvenient place, or say something to your ex that you regret. That doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human. Keep going.

About Kate Schenk

Kate Schenk is a specialist divorce and separation coach offering confidential online coaching. Having navigated her own marriage breakdown, illness, and life rebuild — including single parenthood in a close-knit rural community — she brings both professional training and lived experience to her work. Kate helps clients think clearly, grieve honestly, and move forward with dignity, from the privacy of their own home.

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When Your Kids Bring Up The Divorce Years Later

Published on
Carol Madden
Carol Madden
Separation and Divorce Coach
Carol Madden Coaching

My son was seven when I separated from his dad. He’s eighteen now.

Yesterday, we met for coffee and a catch-up. We haven’t caught up for a few weeks — he’s busy studying engineering at uni, working with kids in an after-school programme, and staying committed to his gym routine.

It breaks my heart a little, but this is what happens as our kids grow up. They start building lives of their own, as they should.

We get on really well. We laugh a lot. I’ve noticed he’s opening up more these days, especially about what his friends are going through as they start to face the reality of becoming young men.

I like this glimpse into his world. It gives me a chance to listen, and sometimes offer a little wisdom if it feels right.

Somehow, we ended up talking about the divorce. We don’t usually, but recently he’s brought it up a few times.

We were sitting on the beach, not far from the little house I rented just after the split. He was seven. His sister was four.

We started remembering that house together. How small it was, but how cosy it felt. It had ocean views and sunlight pouring through the windows. It felt safe.

He said that when he thinks back to our divorce, he always thinks of that house. He remembered feeling sad, but not really knowing why. I told him I felt really sad too. It was a hard time for all of us.

Hearing him talk about it now, from his young adult self looking back, stirred something in me. It wasn’t the same sharp guilt I used to feel. That knife has dulled a bit. But there’s still something there that sits uncomfortably in my body.

He remembered seeing a child psychologist back then. He’d developed sleep anxiety after the separation, and my ex and I organised support for him. Six sessions helped. After that, he was able to stay in bed and settle more easily.

He couldn’t remember everything they talked about, but he said he just felt better after each session. One moment stood out. The psychologist had asked him, “What will happen if you don’t get to sleep?” And he’d answered, “I’ll be tired at school, and I won’t learn anything.”

Sitting there on the beach, he reflected, “I guess my brain just needed something to hook into. I didn’t realise it was actually worry about you guys splitting up.”

As he said it, I felt that familiar ache rising. But I stayed with him. I shared my memories too. I didn’t brush it away. It still hurts to look back sometimes. That’s the reality of divorce when you have children. The grief doesn’t vanish. It gets quieter, but it lives inside you.

He told me he thought we’d had the best possible divorce. That he always felt loved and supported by both of us. That we did everything we could to stay connected as a family, even while things were changing.

I reminded him that back then, when he overcame his sleep struggles, I’d told him: You’re the one who got yourself through this. Not me. Not the psychologist. You did that. And now, that same strength can help carry you through other tough times you’ll face.

Divorce is sad. It affects everyone in the family. I’ve never pretended otherwise.

But the truth is, none of us can avoid sadness and grief in life. We all face loss at some point.

And while none of us would choose divorce, sometimes it chooses us.

It’s only when we come out the other side that we start to see the bigger picture. And even then, we still have moments of doubt. We wonder what if we’d tried harder. What if we’d done it differently?

But eventually, we come to trust that there was no other path. Even when it’s still murky.

That conversation with my son reminded me of this graphic I’ve shared on Instagram. It highlights beautifully to me how we don’t ‘get over’ our divorces and leave it all behind. We integrate the experience so that we can still experience love and happiness as we begin to heal.

That’s what this is. You don’t erase divorce grief. Especially when you share children and you keep parenting through all the stages that follow. There are always new milestones, new reflections, new chances to wonder what might’ve been.

As I dropped him back at his dad’s house, where he lives now that he’s in college, I felt that ache again. Not because anything was wrong. Just the quiet recognition that this grief wants to be felt sometimes.

It’s part of my story.

And knowing that, accepting that, is what helps me stay present when these moments come. It’s what allows me to sit with my kids when they need to revisit it, like my son did yesterday.

Not to fix.

Not to defend.

Just to sit beside him.

Even when it hurts.

About Carol Madden

Hello, my name is Carol Madden and I am a certified divorce coach working with clients around the world from my online practice in New Zealand.

I aim to help individuals navigate the often overwhelming emotions and practical considerations of separating from a spouse. I understand the unique challenges that divorce can bring, having been through my own divorce ten years ago.

I believe that divorce can be an opportunity for growth and positive change, rather than just a painful ending. Through my coaching, I help clients gain clarity and confidence as they move forward in their lives.

As a writer, I am excited to share my perspectives on divorce with readers seeking solid support during their separations. Whether providing tips for managing the emotional rollercoaster or offering practical advice for effectively co-parenting, I want to help others through this challenging time.

Discover me on social media:

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When Money Has Been Used as Control – Understanding Your Mortgage Options After Divorce

Published on
Clementine Palmer Adv. CeMAP
Mortgage Capacity Expert
Bright Money Independent – Member of The Equity Release Council

Divorce is rarely straightforward. But for many people, it isn’t just the emotional separation that makes it difficult – it’s the financial uncertainty that follows.

Over the years, I’ve worked with many people navigating divorce and separation, who feel completely in the dark about their financial position. Some haven’t been involved in the household finances at all. Others have been told – directly or indirectly – that they won’t be able to survive financially on their own.

And in some cases, money has been used as a form of control.

This is known as financial abuse. And while it may not always be immediately obvious; it can have a significant impact on someone’s ability to move forward independently. Approximately 8.7 million people in the UK report such abuse, with over 95% of domestic abuse survivors also experiencing some form of economic abuse.

What does financial abuse look like?

In the context of a relationship, financial abuse can take many forms:

  • Not being allowed access to bank accounts
  • Having no visibility of income, outgoings, or debts
  • Being discouraged from working or building an independent income
  • Credit being taken out in your name without your full understanding
  • Being fed misinformation to prevent you from gaining financial independence i.e. “finding the right account is so complicated, I’ll manage this for you”.
  • Being told repeatedly that you “won’t be approved” for a mortgage alone

By the time a separation happens, the result is often the same: a feeling of being financially stuck, in the dark about your finances & often isolated, not knowing where to begin.

The reality: things are often not as bad as they seem

One of the most common things I hear is: “I don’t think I’ll be able to get a mortgage.”

In many cases, that belief isn’t based on fact – it’s based on lack of information, or what someone has been told over time.

The reality is, mortgage affordability is more nuanced than most people realise. There are:

  • Lenders who take a broader view of income
  • Options available for those with less conventional financial histories
  • Ways to structure lending that aren’t always visible on the high street
  • Affordable housing options for those with low income or low deposit
  • Later life lending options such as Retirement-Interest-Only (RIO) & equity release mortgages, specially designed for people aged 50+ who had previously been far more restricted.

But without a clear, professional assessment, advice & guidance, it’s incredibly difficult to know what is actually possible.

This is where mortgage capacity reports come in

A mortgage capacity report provides a detailed, evidence-based assessment of what someone could realistically borrow following separation or divorce.

It’s not a generic online calculator or a rough estimate. It’s a properly researched report, tailored to an individual’s circumstances, considering:

  • Income (including complex or variable income)
  • Dependants
  • Existing financial commitments
  • Age & sustainability of onward mortgage
  • Credit profile
  • The full range of available lenders

These reports are used within divorce proceedings & separation to support fair financial settlements & asset division, particularly when property is involved.

But beyond that, they serve an important purpose: they replace uncertainty with clarity.

Why clarity matters

When you don’t know what you can afford, it’s easy to feel powerless, especially if you’ve been part of a relationship where you’ve had little or no control over your finances.

You may:

  • Stay in a situation longer than you want to
  • Accept a settlement that gives you less than you deserve
  • Feel unable to challenge assumptions because you don’t have the facts

Clarity changes that.

Understanding your borrowing capacity allows you to:

  • Make informed decisions during negotiations
  • Plan your next steps with assurance
  • Regain a sense of financial independence & confidence

A different kind of conversation

One of the most important parts of my role isn’t just the technical calculation – it’s the conversation around it; What is not only affordable but sustainable at this stage in your life? What are your financial goals in this new chapter of your life?

For many clients, this is the first time they’ve been able to sit down and talk openly about their financial position without pressure or judgement.

It’s not about pushing towards a mortgage. It’s about understanding what is realistically achievable and creating a plan that supports long-term stability & your financial goals as an independent person.

A final thought

If you are going through a divorce or separation and feel unsure about your financial future, you’re not alone – and you’re not without options.

What you’ve been told, or what you believe to be possible, may not reflect the full picture.

With the right information and the right advice & support, many people find they have more choices than they expected.

And that is often the first step towards moving forward with confidence.

About Clementine Palmer

Clementine is a Mortgage Capacity Expert at Bright Money Independent – Member of The Equity Release Council

Clementine brings a meticulous, detail-oriented approach to every report she prepares. She has particular expertise in complex income structures, later-life lending and self-employed cases, where a thorough understanding of lender criteria makes all the difference,

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