Can you be Friends with Your Ex?

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Nevine Bentley of Facilitate Family Mediation
Nevine Bentley of Facilitate Family Mediation

In this two part interview, I speak with Nevine Bentley of  Facilitate Family Mediation in Farnham, Surrey about life after divorce and if you can be friends with an ex.

What is great about this interview is that Nevine who used to practice as a family lawyer speaks frankly and candidly about her divorce journey.  She shares her divorce story with us from start to life after divorce.

She and her ex-husband are now good friends but it wasn’t always that way and she admits that it was mainly due to her resentment and anger driven behaviour. Coping with divorce as a single parent wasn’t easy at all, something that most of us can indeed relate to.

Nevine and Roy were married for 22 years when the marriage ended but although it was her choice to leave, it took her 10 years to eventually gather her guts and courage to say it.  It was an extremely difficult time and had to have professional help just for her to bring herself to tell Roy it was over.

Once this was done, she then had to face her friends and family with the news.  Some reactions were indeed as expected but some not so and these unforeseen reactions came from the most unlikely source.

How and why did a 22 year marriage fall apart?  What were the reasons for divorce?

In part 2 of the video, Nevine talks about how she coped during those 10 years of waiting to leave and why she waited so long.  She also talks about how friends can be helped to cope and how they in turn can help you in coping with divorce.

There are two experiences that most divorced people experience.  The first is the social side of going out on your own as a newly single person.

Some of the comments that Nevine got both from male and female friends are indeed hilarious.

The other side of the experience is the whole stigma of divorce and how it plays a role in your social circle as well as personal life.

What has now become my favourite divorce quote is something Nevine says in part two of “Can you be Friends with your Ex?”:

“Even if I really didn’t like the way he behaved with me as my husband or he wasn’t the perfect choice for me anymore, it didn’t mean he wasn’t the perfect choice for the kids because for them he’s their only dad, he was their hero. They didn’t care whether he forgot their school shoes at his house or whatever, they just knew that they love dad.”

Nevine’s divorce story on coping with divorce and dealing with life after divorce is real, honest and straightforward.

Here are the interview videos on “Can you be Friends with your EX?”

So, can you be friends with your ex or are you friends with your ex?

Do you think being friends with your ex is possible or even a good thing?

Nevine is a Resolution trained family mediator and runs her own dedicated mediation practice in Farnham. Nevine brings both this training and a background in law to give fair and balanced assistance to both partners in all aspects of divorce and separation including arrangements for children and finances.

Nevine is able to sensitively bring down barriers and encourage effective communication between separating couples and navigate them to explore options to find mutually acceptable solutions to the issues which remain unresolved between them.

 Nevine is qualified to undertake Mediation Information Assessment Meetings (MIAMs)

 Nevine is able to offer out of hours appointments seven days a week. She is a member of Resolution and The Family Mediation Council and The Collaborative Family Law Group (http://collaborativelawgroup.co.uk/content/group)



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