Someone once said, that you know you have moved on when you can laugh at some of the things that made you mad in the past.
So we collected a bunch of divorce quotes which we think are (almost) funny for you.
Hope you enjoy (some of ) them
- My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never. ~ Jack Benny
- Ah, yes, divorce . . . from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.~ Robin Williams
- You know why divorces are so expensive? Because they’re worth it. ~ Henny Youngman
- What is the main cause of divorce? Marriage
- In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty percent of the publicity. ~ Lauren Bacall
- Getting divorced just because you don’t love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do. ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor
- My divorce came to me as a complete surprise. That’s what happens when you haven’t been home in eighteen years. ~ Lee Trevino
- Stephen Hawking is getting a divorce. That’s scary. If the smartest guy in the world can’t figure out women, we’re screwed. ~ Jay Leno
- A friend of mine recently divorced his wife after 37 years. He said he was looking for a some-sex relationship. ~ Greg Tamblyn
- Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left. ~ Jean Kerr
- It’s tough. After five years of marriage, it’s difficult to lose the one with the good credit rating. ~ Rich Voss
- One of the hardest things in the world is pretending to be surprised that a friend is getting divorced. ~ Julius Sharpe @juliussharpe
- Maturity is recalling the outrageous things your former spouse did to upset you, then turning over and going to sleep. ~ Eileen Dight
- An open marriage is nature’s way of telling you that you need a divorce ~ Ann Landers
- “What happened? Satan was busy?” ~ Sam Kinison on finding out his wife had hired lawyer Marvin Mitchelson to represent her in her divorce case against him.