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The Importance of Child Inclusive Mediation - TDM Expert Interviews (EP. 2) - Nicki Mitchell
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A Guide to Child Inclusive Mediation – TDM Expert Interviews (EP.2) – Nicki Mitchell

Nicki Mitchell
Nicki Mitchell
Partner
Jones Myers

Discover the pivotal role of Child Inclusive Mediation in the divorce process as Nicki Mitchell, Partner at Jones Myers Family Law Solicitors, shares her expert insights.

In this enlightening interview, she explains why involving children in the mediation process is crucial and highlights alternative routes for separating couples, steering clear of the courtroom.  

Whether you’re revisiting the conversation, prefer to read, or wish to delve into the details, this transcript offers a comprehensive summary of Nicki’s valuable knowledge and guidance.  

Explore the essential insights and options for a more collaborative divorce journey. Read on for the full transcript of our video, “The Importance of Child Inclusive Mediation.” 

 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxsAMqn_CgA] 

[Music]

Hello everybody welcome to The Divorce Magazine. Today we have Nicki Mitchell. My name is Soila Sindiyo I’m the Founder of The Divorce Magazine and, I just love meeting our contributors and Nicki has been contributing to with The Divorce Magazine since um, last year but Nicki who’s a Partner at Jones Myers Family Law Solicitors, have been contributing since 2016 so, kind of like way when we had just started and um, so we have like 60 articles on the on The Divorce Magazine from Jones Myers so anybody who wants to know a little bit about this family law solicitors just go on there, you’ll find a lot of information about the processes and where they come from which, is the angle that I always get from your articles yours Nicki included is very child focused and trying to make divorce as amicable a process as possible um, so really happy that we are having this interview with you and so, who is Nicki Mitchell apart from being a Partner at Jones Myers Family Law Solicitors?

Nicki is a very skilled child inclusive mediator, and as well as a family mediator and a collaborative law um, practitioner Nicki is also has had extensive experience in family law, and in particular in financial issues that have to do with relationship breakdown, family businesses and where there are multiple properties involved, as well as that complicated matter of pension arrangements.

So, this is Nicki and we have her here um, so thank you so much for coming Nicki and joining us on this one today what we’re going to be looking at is the whole issue of child inclusive mediation. And I would is there anything you want to add about your introduction by the way Nicki because I’ve just gone off?

No, no that that’s, that’s, that’s very complimentary very nice here thank you very much and no that that encapsulates or I do have the kind of weird interest in pensions I have to say but certainly the ADR approach is absolutely right that that is, definitely the way in which I certainly and the firm as a whole try to approach, dispute resolution within family cases trying to keep it away from the court try and keep control for the people whose lives it affects. Yeah, yeah, you said ADR, not everybody knows what ADR stands for.

What does ADR stand for? 

I’m sorry okay, well in fact it’s now changed it’s Alternative Dispute Resolution, alternatives to the court it’s now become known as Dispute Resolution, the idea being that that it is not an alternative that should be the main way of approaching it so it’s really anything that doesn’t involve um, going to a court and asking a judge for a decision. Okay, so all the things you mentioned mediation, collaborative practice, and there’s also arbitration and um, private processes and so on so so all of that trying to trying to give people, ownership and autonomy and so they can work out their own futures rather than handing it over to somebody else to do.

Oh I like that I like the fact that they’ve removed the A and made it, yeah, it’s another way of getting divorced it’s not the alternative it isn’t one way and then also yeah, okay, that’s really good thank you thank you. So, but today we’re focusing on child inclusive mediation um, tell us what that is.

What is child inclusive mediation? 

So, maybe I should really start with mediation rather than, presuming what that is it’s really not rocket science it’s a it’s a dispute resolution process, the various different models but the kind of classic, conventional one is it’s just a meeting between, the couple and a an impartial mediator like me um, who uses various skills to get, them help them get to a position where they reach agreed proposals about their children about finances about whatever it is they need to discuss and it’s so it is it’s a series of meetings it’s you know they retain control, often there are children involved sometimes the mediation is just about resolving children issues, sometimes it’s you know all kinds of consequences a relationship breakdown, all kinds of things that need to be talked about.

When it comes to children, so actually this again bit of kind of background, in 1989, there was a UN Convention on the rights of the child and that provided, so UN, UN level that children’s voices should be heard in any, proceedings affecting the money issues affecting them so that hasn’t really happened very effectively in my view, despite the fact that was a long quite a long time ago. Yeah, yeah so and there are other jurisdictions Australia interestingly has a much better developed Family Justice System than we have here in England and Wales.

And so in Australia for quite a lot of years now the way in which they have worked to get the voice of the child heard, certainly within the mediation process, focusing specifically on the mediation process rather than courts and you know that’s not what we’re talking about here, is child inclusive mediation. So what it isn’t, is you bring a child in, to a meeting sit them down in front of the parents and say right what do you think, it’s definitely not that it is about the, the child’s voice being heard.

And so it is a separate, it’s within the process first of all the parents you’ll have a conversation with the parents, say “this is something which is a possibility what do you think?” Everybody would have to agree so the child or children and both parents would have to be comfortable with that there’s quite a lot of preparation, for that because it’s really, really important, that everybody goes into it with the right intention and prepared for what might come out of it. So what the child bit, is a separate meeting, a confidential meeting, between me as the mediator and the child or children, and generally speaking there isn’t there are no hard or fast rules about what age it might be, um, but generally speaking a child of around 10 sometimes a bit younger, um. and certainly younger if they are younger siblings of an older child to if you see what I mean.

So it would be a separate meeting, sorry, you mean if they have older siblings then they can be, involved in the process I mean it doesn’t feel right, and I’ll come on to explain in a minute yeah so if you had a 12 year old and an 8 year old, the 12 year old, almost certainly would be, exactly the right age for this and and in terms of family dynamics, and all children you know, needing to be heard, it would be wrong, to in my view to exclude the 8 year old.

As long as they want or everybody wants to do it, really tiny children clearly not, because you can’t have that kind of conversation with them so, there are no hard and fast rules about the age. That, going back to the Australian experience, there’s a lot of research, that says that, children who have had their voices heard in this way have, have tend to have better mental health outcomes, as young adults, than their peers who haven’t gone through that but have experienced parental separation.

And, so, that can be the only reason, it’s a strange one because I’m not a therapist, not trained as a therapist and it isn’t therapy and you make that really clear, but it’s, but the research suggests that just by feeling that they’ve been able to have a confidential meeting with somebody impartial, that that has a positive impact, yeah, on children as they develop, yeah.

That’s really important I mean we see in studies that have been done because we know divorce can have, long-term effects on children, absolutely, if this is one way that that long-term effect can be eliminated or diminished, yes, yeah, absolutely so it may be, that all that happens in that meeting is that the children get things off their chest, and then, they’ve been able to do that, the parents know they’ve been able to do that and that you know that hopefully that will benefit them in the future.

And the reason why I say that might be it, is because the only thing that you can share from that confidential meeting with a child is what they agree you can share. So, it’s possible that some children will say “I don’t want you to share anything”, mostly, I can’t wait to tell you what they want you to tell the parents, and it’s not always what the parents want to hear, or expect to hear, but it is really, really important that everybody understands that that meeting is for the child it’s confidential to the child and anything that’s going to be shared is with the childs expressed permission.

Yeah, so, you know that, more often than not they’ll say things “I just want to just stop arguing”, you know or, it, it you get all kinds of things but, the reason why it’s really, really important to prepare parents for this is because there is a risk, that parents will think, well they’re just going to tell us what the answer is. The decision making remains very, firmly with the parents.

Okay, that’s, that’s one part that I really wanted to know about what happens at the end of that, um, and also I have so many questions that are going through my mind you know coming from my background as a psychologist and working a lot with children, um, and I have so many questions that are floating around in my mind so I like the idea that it’s a safe space for children to just come and, talk and say.

Um, at the same time I’m thinking or I’m wondering about children, do you do you have some kind of way or assessment where you realise that actually it wouldn’t be appropriate, even if the child is 12, 13, 14, where it looks like there’s been coercion, or possible parental alienation, that you think actually there’s no point?

Do you have some kind of way or assessment where you realise that actually it wouldn’t be appropriate to do child inclusive mediation, if there’s been possible coercion or parental alienation? 

Oh yeah, yeah absolutely, it is by no means. In theory, this is something which should be offered, to all children but in practice, the mediator manages the mediation process the mediator as a mediator I can make a call you know I, will not infrequently say right we need to stop that now because this isn’t for whatever reason not necessarily reasons of abuse but, you know it’s just, all becoming unproductive, certainly if there’s any suggestions becoming abusive anyway and similarly, that first meeting with the parents is key.

So there are many reasons including the ones that you’ve said but also, if I think that really, one parent if I think anybody’s going to coach a child, or put pressure on a child, or, if the other thing to expose what do they, what if, there is feedback that they don’t like. So if a child tells me no I do actually want to stay with Dad, and just for example relatively common, thing that we could talk about in mediation, and Mum really doesn’t, expect, to hear that, because the child might have been saying something different as you know you’ll know as well as I do that children want to please and protect don’t they so, they will tell parents different things not because they’re dishonest, but because they’re just, in a really impossible position.

So you know there are cases where the feedback might be entirely unexpected and unwelcome and where, there is the potential for that to have a prejudicial impact on the relationship between the child and that parent, or for them to put pressure on them or whatever you’ve got to spend a lot of time, talking about all of this and assessing it and if there’s any suggestion of that it doesn’t happen.

And do you have um, the meeting with the children do you have, with all the children at the same time let’s say they’re two or three children or do you have them separately, how does that work?

Do you have the session with the children separately or all together? 

Both, both so I would tend to start off with them all together, okay, and then, agree with them and that we spend time, separately.

I’ve never had it I’ve, I’ve never had anybody say “no we’re not doing that”, right, they, they tend to be but obviously you start off and you’ve got games to play but play a lot of Dobble and that kind of thing you know, you’ve got things to kind of put them at ease and have a bit of a chat and so on and once you’ve got to that point then they’re generally quite happy.

I wouldn’t make, especially you know I wouldn’t make a child do that but um, it’s really interesting, that, you know they often do have quite different things to say, and they understand that, they each, you know the children I’ve seen respect the fact that each one of them will have a different view and needs to be able to say that, so, yeah, it’s because it’s a dynamic thing and it’s also the individual perspective.

Yeah, I work a lot with children and families and in my own private practice I work a lot with family or couples or parents who are going through divorce and they’re concerned about their children, or have been Court Ordered to attend Triple P parenting programs so that they can either regain contact and, and so forth um, and I come from that angle, you know that where please listen to the children’s voices, please be health centred child focus it’s not about you here, it’s about them.

So what, what would you say, in your experience what have been the positive or the benefits of child inclusive mediation for the family and for you’ve mentioned a couple in terms of long term, effects, but within the process when you’re mediating and you have the children and you give feedback, what has been your experience um, in terms of the direction that the mediation has taken or changes that have happened?

What would you say are the positives or benefits of the child inclusive mediation process? 

I have had cases where it’s been very difficult, so I’ve and in a case like that where I would see the parents separately at the beginning of the joint session, and that takes some time then to manage and, you know because I can then give the bad news the ability to give the unexpected news to one parent and ,you know also manage the other one’s expectations as to how we’re going to address that when we come back together. But generally speaking, you know if, if you’ve got it right and if they genuinely do want to listen it can be really helpful, it just you know and again you’re getting it right involves, the parents being really clear it’s still their decision, so they don’t have to go along with whatever they said yeah, but you know parents, are interested in all the children say generally speaking, and, you know it has informed, the choices that parents have made in a very positive way.

Do you ever have parents who are separated, and are trying to just come to the best possible scenario for their children who come in just for child inclusive mediation?

Do you ever have parents who are separated, and are trying to just come to the best possible scenario for their children who come in just for child inclusive mediation? 

Yeah, yeah, good. Because quite a lot of people, the thing is in terms of financial work, you know the financial legal work, if parents aren’t married, the finances are actually quite straightforward so often they don’t need to mediate all that they’ve sorted all of that out so it only tends to be in the context to the divorced, when you’ve got the financial stuff as well, and there are lots, lots of you know unmarried families aren’t there so an awful lot of at cases where all they want to talk about is child arrangements.

And are there any disadvantages to child inclusive mediation that you can think of?

Are there any disadvantages to child inclusive mediation? 

Well the role if you get it wrong, so you know if a parent, if a parent does bring pressure on a child I mean, I think coaching is relatively easy spot I mean it’s people will always suggest parents will always suggest that because they’re in a position of fear and they, you know, that it’s entirely natural to be suspicious about, what one, what the other parents saying to a child when they’re not there but, you know you, you either spend time with the parents as an initial Mediation Information Assessment Meeting or a MIAM at the beginning with each of them spending time getting to know them, understanding where they’re coming from, that’s really useful to spend quite a bit of time on that, and then you’ll have them together for a joint session so you do really start to get more of a feel for whether or not you think the impact of that process is, is, is going to be prejudicial because a parent will use it in the wrong way.

So, if you, kind of, don’t spot that for whatever reason and nobody’s perfect are they then there is the potential there for it being prejudicial to the child. We never see it as mediators, we never really see what happens ,further down the line it’s just you’re just involved in resolving that, dispute.

Occasionally people come back and say want to review things and, and so on. There is always a risk with any of these things is that that you know you can’t you can manage a process but you can’t make it perfect. Yeah, yeah, and how many sessions do you see the children for?

How many sessions do you see the children for? 

Usually one, usually just one. So it would usually be, the individual meetings, the meeting with the parents to talk about it, explain it and make sure everything’s right, then you’d write to the child. So I write a handwritten letter, and age appropriately basically saying “you don’t have to come in but your mum and dad have asked me to write to you because they think it would be good for you to have a conversation with me”, so they, tell me what’s going on for you yeah, so maybe coming from mum and dad but you know, he has said duh, duh, duh, duh, it’s me you write to them as well and say I write to them and say mum and dad think it would be a good idea, yeah, you don’t have to do it if you, if you don’t want to, but, you might it might be nice for you to be able to have a chat about all of this.

Um, and you know in in kind of child’s age-appropriate language about, uh you know having to break confidently being confidential about having to break confidentiality if they tell me something that’s a safeguarding issue and then, they could have a session with, with the children, and then shortly afterwards, a session with the parents feedback session with the parents it’s really, important that that’s as short as possible so, you know, nobody’s worried about what’s been said what hasn’t been said, so that’s generally how it works.

I kind of know, the answer to this question seeing how our interview has gone, but what has been your experience of child inclusive mediation, compared to the traditional forms of divorce?

What has been your experience of child inclusive mediation, compared to the traditional forms of divorce mediation? 

Mediation as opposed to traditional yeah, yeah. Where it’s, it’s, you know, “I’m going to see my lawyer, you’re going to see your lawyer” and then yeah, yeah, well. You can probably see this coming but it’s I cannot, say strongly enough, how much better it is, if people can be helped, to keep control of their future, to keep talking about their children.

I think the reality is that even, whether I mean it’s like any profession, there are some really, really good practitioners out there and there are some who, approach it differently, who perhaps don’t kind of get the reality that these are people’s lives. It’s not about scoring points and showing how good you’re at the law or anything like that.

And there are people out there generally speaking is a pretty good enlightened profession but there are people out there so when you get into, you know somebody goes to see a solicitor and straight down the litigation route I can’t tell you how damaging, that is for everybody. I mean it’s bad enough for the lawyers really, it’s not a great job it’s not a great way of earning a living I mean, you know the whole time people firing things that are trying to score points is horrible and it’s not even your life.

So, you know, what mediation, collaborative practice, all of those things. The advantage of those things is that, people keep control of their own lives and, you know, a lot of lawyers would think oh well, they don’t people don’t know what the options are when they come in. They think it’s court, yeah, but I, a very, I can’t really remember anybody who, who you know by the end of the first conversation wants to go to court.

They might think it’s inevitable because they think that their ex, will do that but the reality is, quite often they don’t want to do it it’s fear isn’t it, it’s all about yeah, it’s all about people wanting to protect themselves it’s that kind of fight or flight thing. It’s a clinical, cold process, it’s highly discretion there’s lots of the things that actually matter to people never get mentioned in court proceedings.

So it’s very unsatisfactory all along and all of these things are said in a formal ways, sometimes by pompous lawyers in the courtroom, it’s really, it’s really damaging. Yeah, that I try um, we try to have on The Divorce Magazines when we have contributions you know people will submit articles, that are verging or, leaning very, much towards this part of um, acrimony or, triggering or then we, we don’t talk about that we just want articles, that are because let’s not. Okay, divorce is not pleasant for anybody, no matter which way we go. And I usually say, for the child the separation of the parents is a big deal, but what could be even bigger, which could be the primary trauma is how the whole process is handled, yeah, conflict, yeah, so yeah exactly conflict so in The Divorce Magazine we really try, to not try, we, we I think we do manage to not have articles that are you, know going in that direction and keeping it, letting people know there are other ways of dealing with it and if you have a solicitor these are the things that you need to think about and all articles are contributed by experts like you, you know family lawyers and so forth.

So speaking of the different ways that um, divorce goes, you know the different processes you’ve mentioned some, I’d like to find out a little bit more for instance you mentioned a MIAM. What is a MIAM?

What is a MIAM?

The MIAM is the first stage of the mediation process. So it stands for Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, so it’s a one-to-one meeting between the mediator and one of the couple, one of the separating couple, where it’s not about solving anything, it’s not about the mediating making judgments or anything it’s about understanding what the issues are, understanding where that person is coming from, giving them information about the mediation process, and coming to a decision at the end of that, as to whether they’re willing to give it a go.

And it’s the MIAM, so people get confused the, the court rules now say ish, they say there are exemptions that if you want to make an application to a family court for a family order, then you have to have had a MIAM. You don’t say you have to mediate it because you know you take horse to water and all that but you have to have had that information. So that’s what the MIAM is so hopefully what it is, is a preliminary to a mediation process but if not it’s, it’s a conversation, to inform people about alternatives to court applications.

And I’m assuming that, correct me if I’m wrong that the MIAM was put in place in that way, you know preliminary to, going to court in the hope that some people will be diverted into a conversational level, absolutely, absolutely, and it does work but it, it often works I mean I, and many mediator colleagues would say, if you get somebody in, it’s very unlikely they’re going to say they don’t want to do it when you explain you know so do you know how long a Court’s gonna take do you know how much it’s going to cost you that kind of thing.

But you do still get referrals and I just I just needed to sign a form there’s a challenge. I don’t think that’s gonna happen um, yeah, so, so yes it’s um, that’s the idea and courts are getting judges are getting better at, because for years they’ve been regulations in place and what people have been doing is just say there’s an exemptions, there are more pages on the Form A which is the financial form, right, about exemption from mediation than there are about anything else so, there’s all kinds of you know, perfectly followed one’s domestic abuse Etc. Although, you know personally I think an initial meeting to properly screen that, yeah, rather than a solicitor, ticking a box, is I think, don’t think that would be a bad idea.

Can I ask you just with regards to that Nicki so let’s say I’m getting divorced, and I say, I said to my future ex-husband to be, shall we go for, for mediation and he says “no I don’t want to go for mediation” anyway, I come to you, I get my MIAM and we eventually, you know end up in court, the fact that he didn’t want to go to mediation, is that ever taken into account is it, you know does it.

If my ex declines going for mediation, is that take into account when going to court? 

Yes and no I mean what you because the mediation, there’s a lot of confidential issues around mediation so mediator isn’t going to be, giving reasons apportioning blame Etc. So in your, in your situation I’m still contacting, okay, so if you come to me for a MIAM, I would still contact him and say “why don’t you just come for a chat”, so there is still, whatever he says, yeah, yeah there’s still that but if he still says no, the courts are getting much better at A. Making sure people have actually not just ticked an exemption box for the sake of it and have seen that and B. adjourning things and saying I saw a couple last week, is that exactly that had happened, applications being made to the court, the court said come on you can sort this out to between yourselves go to mediation.

Yeah, and I’ve had a few like that, so courts are becoming much more, come on this is, this is parenting it’s not law it’s parenting. Have a supported conversation it’s not here’s a conversation, but have one supported by the right professional. That’s really good to hear, so Nicki this brings us really nicely into, my last question, which is, we started off by talking about the different ways of mediation, of divorcing now the different, different processes that are out there, can you tell us, you know we know the traditional one I go like that again in terms of lawyer, lawyer couples go to court and, and all of that or they don’t go to court but it’s just that the lawyers speaking, and then we’ve talked about mediation, family mediation and we’ve talked about the MIAMs and what that means, and where it goes and we’ve talked about child inclusive mediation but what other, other ways are there of um, going through the divorce process.

What other ways are there of going through the divorce process? 

I think what happens is, you get to know somebody, spend some time at the beginning you kind of assess, where they’re at and you can do whatever it takes and you commit, the thing that I find really exciting now about the way family law is developing and it’s been a long time coming, is that there is now an openness to, you know changing tack as you need to if something doesn’t work find a different way of doing it it’s not just you go to mediation, if mediation fails you go to court, there are lots of other ways that you can do it.

So, the main way in which, that kind of process option I would call is collaborative practice. The collaborative practice is, a bit like mediation, but the lawyers are, it’s a team thing so it’s the couple and their lawyers around the table, they sign a contract that says they’re not going to go to court they’re going to sort it out around that table, they can then bring other professionals into that so whether that’s pensions experts, accountants, valuers whatever they can actually come to the table, have a proper conversation so everybody understands things, and questions can be asked.

And then, they reach an agreement and that’s sorted by the lawyers. So that is a really, effective process, quite kind process as well and it’s, it’s team problem solving at its best and, generally speaking that’s, you know it does work. Are there solicitors from two different firms, yeah, two different they come together then the accountants and everybody else that you mentioned are they from, are there two sets of accountants, two sets of, no, okay, there’s just one so the idea is that and I do this in my mediation practice as well.

Quite often with pensions, erm you know we need some pensions of complicated things, we need somebody with our expertise, let’s send them the information so this is what we want to achieve and they’ll come and talk to us about how that can happen. So that can happen in a collaborative process but it’s one, it’s what’s called a ‘Single Joint Expert’ it’s the same principle in court, that instead you know gone are the days where, you would have you know husband’s accountant, the wife’s accountant, and a big scrap about it the court says “no you need to agree one person to do it they’ve got the expertise, let them do it.”

So, those people can come into any process but what, what I find most, exciting about what’s, maybe sounds a bit, wrong to be talking about it but I mean as professionally exciting for me in terms of, seeing really positive change, is that there is an accept there are different models coming out and we’re in the process in York of thinking about, how we can work, by putting a team together so instead of, somebody going to one solicitor or the other person going to the other solicitor, them having completely different styles and everybody ends up confused and, they can’t agree what to do.

Almost you could have it can have a process and it does work there’s a, we spoke to some people some, fantastic women in Melbourne in Australia they came over and spoke to us in the summer and what they do is they, a couple goes, go to them as an organisation and they say right okay this is what you need in your team, you need, you get a lawyer each because you need that guidance, but actually a lot of the works can be done by a financial person because that financial person can get all the financial information together, that saves your lawyer time, you would need some support from divorce coach, family consultant, various different, words for them but they tend, they are people who will be there skilled people who are there to provide that emotional support, that again reduces illegal costs because people, are reliant on family lawyers, to get them through things and that you know it’s part of the job that I like best it’s forming those relationships but I’m not, I’m not trained as a counsellor or you know anything like that so you get, you bring in the people you create a team and then and from the start the choices to work together to get where you need to be.

So we’re looking at ways at the moment in York of um, trying to make that work talking to different professionals and talking to somebody who already, does it in the south of England and trying to put that together. It sounds like a very holistic way of treating, a divorcement yeah, uh, you know different because divorce means so many different things it’s not just a bit of the couple, there’s the lost family home, there’s the loss of the future, the loss of the children’s idea of what life would be like, your idea, you know there’s so much you know the plans and then, not even talking about the pain and you know the hurt the you know, what you’re, feeling and then you know if somebody has not been working now it’s going to go out and getting reskilled it’s such a huge, emotional roller, no well maybe not roller coaster because sometimes can just keep going up yeah, sometimes yeah, I know yeah, yeah.

Thank you so much Nicki, yeah sure I’ve enjoyed it actually yeah, I might get in touch with you because I want to talk about the pension side of, of divorce because I think that’s what um, has been, it’s spoken about but only, it feels like when people just decide we’re breaking up it’s like who’s going to get the house, and then you don’t think about the other things that come after that or on the side of that or um, it would be good to have another interview that’s about the financial side of, absolutely and pensions weirdly pensions, I blame my dad, my dad was an accountant so I do have a there’s, a there’s a natural streak of me that likes the numbers, so and pensions are really complicated and I love it I do find it really interesting although I don’t share that with everybody because people find that strange. Which is all you need.

I like that families you can do the numbers yeah, yeah. Thank you so much, thank you very much and thank you for all the contributions from you and from Jones Myers on to The Divorce Magazine, pleasure no it’s, it’s great and I, I love the ethos I do like that it’s very clear that what you do, it’s a, it’s a positive force it’s like no look at this yeah, make, make choices make better choices yeah, with the right information people often make poor choices because they don’t got the right information. Exactly, exactly and that’s why we only take contributions from, divorce professionals. Anybody else it’s maybe from their own experience of divorce, or step parenting, but when it’s giving, when it’s sharing knowledge about divorce and the divorce process, only from divorce professionals other no bloggers or writers, no you need to be able to be writing for The Divorce Magazine, yeah. Thank you so much, excellent, absolute pleasure.

[Music]

Read more articles by Nicki Mitchell.

About Nicki Mitchell

Nicki is a partner at Jones Myers Family Law Solicitors. With extensive experience in family law, Nicki specialises in the financial aspects of relationship breakdown – and particularly complex cases involving family businesses, multiple properties, and complicated pension arrangements.

Skilled in mediation and collaborative family lawyer, Nicki is also a Child Inclusive Mediator which enables her to meet with children of separated parents and hear what they want for their future.

Clients deserve quality and transparency: why unregulated firms need to be stopped.
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Clients Deserve Quality & Transparency: Why Unregulated Firms Need to be Stopped

Nicki Mitchell
Nicki Mitchell
Partner
Jones Myers

I welcome the news that The Competition and Markets Authority (CMA) is to investigate claims of people being misled about the process and prices of divorces and wills by online firms.

The enquiry into the growing number of online services – many of which are unregulated and include  those offering divorce – comes after a raft of complaints from consumers who were unclear about what help they would receive -and exactly what they were paying for.

Their grievances included ‘inadequate quality’ with incorrect forms being used and papers being sent to court late.

Delivering a quality service and being open about the costs and level of support involved is always vital, particularly in these sensitive and often stressful areas.

When they see the word “divorce,” most couples understand that to mean not only the process of dissolving the marriage or civil partnership – but getting a financial settlement and resolving any issues around children too.

My experience is that the fixed fee quoted online by some organisations just brings the relationship to a formal legal end – something which divorcing couples can do relatively easily themselves online. This process does not take much time and the only cost involved is the £593 court fee.

When working with established family lawyers like us, aside from the court fee, there is often a minimal or even no charge for dealing with the online divorce process when we are instructed to advise on the financial implications.

Some firms also quote a fee for drafting an order to formalise an agreed financial settlement which can be helpful in some cases.  However, most separating couples have no real idea what their financial options on divorce are.

There is a common perception/misconception that everything is always split down the middle, but this is not necessarily the case.

The law requires there to be a settlement which is “fair in all the circumstances,” with first consideration being given to the needs of any children. A 50:50 split is not always “fair.”

The only way to understand what a court is likely to consider acceptable in your particular circumstances is to take advice from an experienced family lawyer.

There is a cost but, in most cases, you get what you pay for – a quality service from qualified family lawyers whose firms are regulated and transparent.

As part of the CMA investigation, consumers and others who would like to contact the CMA about their experiences with online services and regulated firms are asked to contact the watchdog by September 4 on this website.

If the watchdog’s investigation determines that organisations have violated consumer laws, those found wanting could be subject to a court order.

I sincerely hope the outcome will act as a deterrent to prevent more people falling prey at a time when they are at their lowest and most vulnerable.

For progressing divorces online, the Government website is a helpful source of advice.

Read more articles by Nicki Mitchell.

About Nicki Mitchell

Nicki is a partner at Jones Myers Family Law Solicitors. With extensive experience in family law, Nicki specialises in the financial aspects of relationship breakdown – and particularly complex cases involving family businesses, multiple properties, and complicated pension arrangements.

Skilled in mediation and collaborative family lawyer, Nicki is also a Child Inclusive Mediator which enables her to meet with children of separated parents and hear what they want for their future.

How do I find the right family mediator for my divorce?
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How Do I Find the Right Family Mediator for my Divorce?

Nicki Mitchell
Nicki Mitchell
Partner
Jones Myers

If you opt to settle your divorce through mediation rather than a drawn out, expensive and contentious Court settlement, choosing the right mediator is vital.

Here are some guidelines to help ensure the best possible outcome for you, your ex, and – most importantly – any children involved in your relationship breakdown.

Who chooses the mediator?

The first step if for each of you separately to attend a confidential Mediation Information Assessment Meeting (MIAM) with a qualified mediator who should  be approved by the Family Mediation Council (FMC).

You can appoint your own mediator through the FMC register which lists mediators near where you live.

At the MIAM you both discuss with the mediator key issues that need resolving. If you have children, the mediator should explain to you how your children’s voice can be heard within the process.

The mediator will explain the mediation  process and consider with you alternative ways of resolving the issues between you.  At the end of the session, you and the Mediator will come to a decision together as to whether you think mediation is suitable for you.

Why should the mediator have to be approved by the FMC?

Anyone with no training or qualifications can claim to be a family mediator.

FMC approval gives you the confidence that the mediator entrusted with this crucial role has been trained – and is qualified, and fully insured.

What is the mediator’s role after the MIAM?

If mediation is the way forward, the mediator who conducted your MIAM will set up a joint meeting with the two of you

Your chosen mediator will help you both work out key issues such as children contact and support along with dividing assets, property, pensions, and debts.

It can be very helpful in disputes relating to financial issues for you to use an FMC accredited mediator who is also a family lawyer. Although they will remain impartial in the process, they will be able to give you very useful legal information in the mediation, providing explanations as to how the legal process works and the options available to you around your properties, debt, pension, and income.

Where there is a need for you to take your own legal advice, this will be flagged up by the mediator.

Giving couples control over their divorce, mediation can be completed in as few or as many meetings as you need.  These can take place over a few months or, in some cases, weeks.  Depending on the issues, some couples are able to come to agreed proposals in just one meeting.

Findings from the Family Mediation Council highlight that agreements are reached in over 70% of cases of couples undergoing mediation.

I have seen repeatedly how mediation helps separating couples to find an agreed way forward in a constructive, positive manner which avoids going to Court, prioritises children’s well-being – and supports the long-term interests of all those involved.

Read more articles by Jones Myers.

About Nicki Mitchell

Nicki is a partner at Jones Myers Family Law Solicitors. With extensive experience in family law, Nicki specialises in the financial aspects of relationship breakdown – and particularly complex cases involving family businesses, multiple properties, and complicated pension arrangements.

Skilled in mediation and collaborative family lawyer, Nicki is also a Child Inclusive Mediator which enables her to meet with children of separated parents and hear what they want for their future.

I'm Divorcing - Am I Eligible for Free Mediation Sessions?
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I’m Divorcing – Am I Eligible for Free Mediation Sessions?

Nicki Mitchell
Nicki Mitchell
Partner
Jones Myers

For separating couples, mediation can be a highly effective way of avoiding a lengthy, costly, and drawn-out Court divorce in which children are often caught up in the crossfire.

To help more couples in this situation, the Government has launched and extended a Family Mediation Voucher Scheme to encourage more people to undergo mediation.

What is the Family Mediation Voucher Scheme?

The publicly funded scheme helps separating couples to resolve their family law disputes outside of Court, giving them up to £500 towards the costs of mediation.

Both people involved need to agree to take part – and only Mediators like me who are authorised by the Family Mediation Council (FMC) can conduct the sessions.

How do I know if I’m eligible?

Most divorcing couples are required by law to attend a Mediation Information Assessment Meeting (MIAM). At this session a qualified mediator assesses whether mediation is appropriate for your individual case – and if you qualify for the scheme.

Eligible cases must involve a dispute or court application involving a child, although the sessions can also cover related issues around finances.

Which cases do NOT qualify for the funding?

  • If you’re applying for a consent order
  • If any children are involved in emergency proceedings, care proceedings or supervision proceedings
  • If any of the children are the subject of an emergency protection order, care order or supervision order

Where there are allegations of domestic abuse, the mediator will carefully assess with the person alleging that abuse whether mediation is suitable.

What happens if I quality?

Your mediator will apply for the voucher funding, paid directly to them when the mediation is concluded. Vouchers are limited and the mediation sessions can be attended together or separately.

Will the £500 cover all mediation costs?

This depends upon the mediator’s fees and the number of sessions needed. The voucher is intended to be a contribution towards mediation sessions.

What happens if the mediation doesn’t work?

You and your ex should take advice as to the options available.  Ultimately, if all else fails, you can make an application to go to Court.

What happens if the mediation is successful?

The arrangements agreed in mediation can be put into a document which is often known as a “parenting plan” which you can then both sign.  This provides a useful record of your agreement.

A parenting plan does not have the status of a court order.  However, court orders are not usually necessary or desirable in children cases.

The law (The Children Act 1989) works on the basis of the “non-intervention principle”. Put simply, the law recognises that parents are much better placed to parent than a court and so orders will only be made where necessary in the best interests of a child.

If you can agree, then an order is often not necessary. An order made when children are young will often become a straight jacket by the time they are older.  It makes sense for you to continue to review what your children need as they grow up, and this is much easier to do in mediation than in repeated court applications.

In our extensive experience, along with speed and cost, mediation helps to minimise the damaging fallout from a separation, enabling both parents and their children to move forward.

For more information on the scheme visit Family Mediation Voucher Scheme – GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)

Click here for more articles from Jones Myers.

About Nicki Mitchell

Nicki is a partner at Jones Myers, a niche, multi award-winning family law firm based in Leeds, Harrogate, and York.

With extensive experience in family law, Nicki specialises in the financial aspects of relationship breakdown – and particularly complex cases involving family businesses, multiple properties, and complicated pension arrangements.

A skilled mediator and collaborative family lawyer, Nicki has recently further enhanced her extensive expertise by becoming a child-inclusive mediator. The accreditation enables her to meet with children of separated parents and hear what they want for their future.

Will Compulsory Mediation Protect Children from Courtroom Conflict?
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Will Compulsory Mediation Protect Children from Courtroom Conflict?

Nicki Mitchell
Nicki Mitchell
Partner
Jones Myers

Thousands of children could avoid seeing their parents embroiled in bitter, lengthy, and costly courtroom conflicts following a proposal to make mediation compulsory for separating couples.     

We wholeheartedly welcome the Government’s plan for separating couples to undertake mediation with a qualified mediator like myself to agree key issues such as arrangements for children and financial settlements.

The proposal, which aims to overhaul the family justice system, would apply to all suitable low-level family court cases. It would not include cases involving claims of, or a history of, domestic violence. 

Going to Court would be a last resort if parents are unable to agree a way forward.  

We have witnessed time and again the detrimental, and sometimes long-lasting, impact that contentious courtroom disputes among warring parents can have on children’s physical and mental well-being.

Mediation can help separating couples to find an agreed way forward in a constructive, positive manner which prioritises children’s well-being and helps the long-term interests of all those involved in the break-up.  

A qualified Mediator helps couples to discuss issues confidentially and find workable agreements more quickly and cost effectively. Giving couples control over their divorce, mediation can be completed in several meetings over a few months or, in some case, weeks.     

Going to court is entirely different. If separating couples are unable to reach an agreement, a judge, who doesn’t know them or their children, will decide how their financial assets will be divided. The judge – or Magistrates – will also determine how much time each parent spend with their children and that decision is legally binding.

The compulsory mediation proposal is undergoing a 12-week consultation. More information can be accessed here.  

Another positive move for separating couples sees the Government extending the Family Mediation Voucher Scheme until April 2025.  

Since being launched in March 2021 in response to Covid-19, over 15,000 families have benefited from the publicity funded initiative which gives them vouchers worth £500 for mediation to help resolve their disputes. 

To find out if you qualify for the scheme, visit  Family Mediation Voucher Scheme – GOV.UK (www.gov.uk).

Read more articles by Jones Myers.

About Nicki Mitchell

With extensive experience in family law, Nicki specialises in the financial aspects of relationship breakdown – and particularly complex cases involving family businesses, multiple properties, and complicated pension arrangements. 

A skilled mediator and collaborative family lawyer, Nicki has recently further enhanced her extensive expertise by becoming a child-inclusive mediator. The accreditation enables her to who meets with children of separated parents and hear what they want for their future.

About Jones Myers

Jones Myers is a niche, multi award-winning family law firm based in Leeds, Harrogate, and York

The practice, founded in 1992, has retained its Family Law Firm of the Year North title in the Family Law Awards across 2020-2022 for its outstanding quality of service to clients.

For over two decades the firm has been consistently ranked in a joint Top Tier position by the Legal 500 and Chambers guides alongside national practices.

The Financial Remedies Department acts for clients on divorces, pensions issues, trust work and pre-and post-nuptial agreements.

The Children’s Department delivers every aspect of public and private children law. Managing national and international issues, it specialises in private residence and contact disputes, care proceedings, adoption work, special guardianships, relocations, and education matters.

Jones Myers lawyers are acknowledged leaders in their field and include mediators, collaborative experts, and an in-house barrister.

Email: info@jonesmyers.co.uk 

Locations: 

York

The Quadrant, Bootham Row YO30 7BP, Tel: 01904 202550

Leeds

8 St Pauls Street, Leeds, Leeds, LS1 2LE, Tel: 0113 246 0055

Harrogate 

5 Victoria Avenue, Harrogate, HG1 2PW, Tel: 01423 276104

Lawyer of the Year in Northern Powerhouse Awards is...Kate Banerjee!
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Lawyer of the Year in Northern Powerhouse Awards is…Kate Banerjee!

Jones Myers partner named ‘Lawyer of the Year’ in Northern Powerhouse Awards
Winner: Kate Banerjee
Partner and Head of the Children Department
Jones Myers Family Law Solicitors

Jones Myers partner named ‘Lawyer of the Year’ in Northern Powerhouse Awards

Jones Myers partner, Kate Banerjee, has been named ‘Lawyer of the Year’ in the coveted Private Client category of the Legal 500 Northern Powerhouse Awards.

Judges selected Kate, who heads the firm’s internationally renowned children’s department, from an 11-strong shortlist of top lawyers across the North of England in the inaugural awards.

With almost three decades of experience in children law, Kate has extensive expertise in international child abduction. Her specialisms include contact, residence, and adoption.

Kate, who is applauded by the latest Legal 500 rankings as a ‘standout children’s solicitor’ and Leading Individual, said: “I am proud and honoured to receive this prestigious recognition which is attributable to the commitment of our highly experienced and respected team.

“An enormous and heartfelt ‘thank you’ to my colleagues who consistently provide the best bespoke solutions for our valued clients.”

Succeeding with the most complex cases, the 12-strong Children’s team provides all aspects of private and public children law and is at the forefront of new areas of law including deprivation of a child’s liberty.

The Department also consistently achieves a consistently high success rate in international child abduction matters across Hague and Non-Hague countries.

Richard Peaker, Jones Myers managing partner, said: “Kate is widely respected as a leader in her field at home and overseas and this high-profile award is extremely well deserved.

“The accolade reflects the wider team’s dedication and expertise and underpins Jones Myers standing as a top-ranking, niche family law practice which has maintained its number 1 position in the legal guides for over two decades.”

Jones Myers reputation for dealing with complex cases and securing successful outcomes in reported cases involving Courts at all levels, is widely acknowledged.

The latest Legal 500 Guide consolidates Jones Myers outstanding reputation as ‘the leading matrimonial finance firm in Yorkshire, with outstanding individuals and unparalleled strength in depth’.

Founded in 1992 in Leeds as among the North of England’s first specialist family law practices, the firm has its headquarters in Leeds and offices in Harrogate and York.

Click for articles from Jones Myers and Kate Banerjee

About Kate 

A widely recognised leader in Children Law, Kate heads Jones Myers nationally and internationally renowned Children’s Department. She is highly experienced in cases which include contact and residence disputes and child protection law.

Kate also has extensive expertise in international child abduction cases and is a Member of the International Child Abduction and Custody Unit. She is also a Member of the Child Care Panel representing parents, guardians, Local Authorities, and children. Jones Meyers

About Jones Myers

Jones Myers is a niche, multi award-winning family law firm based in Leeds, Harrogate, and York

The practice, founded in 1992, has retained its Family Law Firm of the Year North title in the Family Law Awards across 2020-2022 for its outstanding quality of service to clients.

For over two decades the firm has been consistently ranked in a joint Top Tier position by the Legal 500 and Chambers guides alongside national practices.

The Financial Remedies Department acts for clients on divorces, pensions issues, trust work and pre-and post-nuptial agreements.

The Children’s Department delivers every aspect of public and private children law. Managing national and international issues, it specialises in private residence and contact disputes, care proceedings, adoption work, special guardianships, relocations, and education matters.

Jones Myers lawyers are acknowledged leaders in their field and include mediators, collaborative experts, and an in-house barrister.

Email: info@jonesmyers.co.uk 

Locations: 

York

The Quadrant, Bootham Row YO30 7BP, Tel: 01904 202550

Leeds

8 St Pauls Street, Leeds, Leeds, LS1 2LE, Tel: 0113 246 0055

Harrogate 

5 Victoria Avenue, Harrogate, HG1 2PW, Tel: 01423 276104

How can I get my abusive partner to leave our home?
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How can I get my abusive partner to leave our home?

Anthony Parrish, Partner - Jones Myers
Anthony Parrish
Partner
Jones Myers

Sadly, we work with many clients who, along with their children, are victims of domestic abuse.

Some flee the spousal home with little more than the clothes they stand up in while others stay and suffer in silence – because they fear losing any legal rights they may have.

It is vital that you know there are injunctions you can take out which entail the Court making an order protecting you and your children from abuse or harassment by your partner/spouse and prevent them from living in your home.

Non-Molestation Order

An FL401 form enables you to apply for a Non-Molestation Order, which forbids your spouse/partner from:

  • Coming to, or near, your home
  • Using or threatening violence against you and your children
  • Intimidating, harassing, or pestering you and your children
  • Going to places such as schools that you and your children visit regularly.
  • Send/engage in threatening communication through letter, telephone, text message, or other means of communication (including social media).
  • Not to instruct or encourage a third party to do any of the above on their behalf.

Occupation Order

The same form can also be used to apply for an Occupation Order, where the court decides who should live in, or return to, the home or any part of it.

Depending upon your circumstances, you can apply for a non-molestation order, an occupation order – or both.

The application does not require court fees. If a family lawyer assists you with the application, you pay for their fees. Legal Aid is available for applications of this nature provided the required thresholds for qualification are met.

Key Factors the Court Will Consider 

  • The housing needs/resources of you and your spouse/partner and children
  • Your respective finances
  • Your behaviour to each other
  • The likely impact of a Court order/decision not to exercise its powers, on the health/safety/wellbeing of you, your spouse/partner and your children.

Considerations for Married Couples

If you were married and have no existing right to occupy the property, the Court will also examine:

  • The length of time since you last lived together.
  • How long ago your marriage was dissolved.
  • If any current legal proceedings exist between you for a financial order following your divorce, or for an order under Schedule 1 Children Act 1989 for financial relief or relating to the legal or beneficial ownership of the property.

Considerations for Cohabitees

If you are living with your partner and have no existing right to occupy the property, the Court will examine:

  • If you have any children together or if you have, or have had, parental responsibility for any children (stepchildren, godchildren etc)
  • If an Order is made in your favour, it could be for a specified period – often six months – or until another Court Order is made. In some situations, the Order can be renewed for another six months.

The protection the court offers is available to married, divorced, cohabiting and former cohabiting couples along with those in civil partnerships.

Domestic abuse occurs in all levels of society – regardless of race, gender, wealth, or age.

In confidential consultations highly skilled and sensitive family law specialists like us who have extensive expertise in helping victims of victims of domestic violence, discuss all your options and advise on the way forward. This includes court applications for an injunction as outlined above.

We can also suggest other organisations who can help you outside the legal process.

For more information on the FL401 form, visit the Government website.

Click here for more articles by Anthony Parrish

About Anthony Parrish

Anthony’s extensive experience in family law spans over two decades, during which time he has developed specialisms in matters relating to children law.

A member of Jones Myers internationally renowned Children’s Department, he deals with issues relating to children, teenagers, parents (including those represented through their official solicitor) and local authorities.

His expertise also encompasses international child abduction cases and same sex relationship issues.

A formula for divorced parents to prevent school holiday meltdowns  
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A formula for divorced parents to prevent school holiday meltdowns  

Kate Banerjee
Kate Banerjee
Partner and Head of the Children Department
Jones Myers Family Law Solicitors

Excitement levels are mounting in school classrooms the length and breadth of the country in the countdown to pupils breaking up for the summer holidays.

Lasting around six weeks, the summer break is the longest in the school calendar. It also brings added challenges for separated and divorced parents – many of whom work full time and do not have extensive support networks.

Children will understandably want to spend as much time as possible with both parents along with their wider family and friends.

Here are some steps parents can take to ensure stability in a shared commitment.

Plan Ahead   

Try to set aside your differences to always put your children’s interests first. Planning in advance will avoid stress and confusion about arrangements for childcare, days out, and holidays at home and abroad.

Involve Children in Plans

Children and young people need certainty and security. Involve them as much as possible – and as far in advance as possible – in decision making to avoid any surprises. This helps them to adjust to new arrangements. Remember though that the decisions are yours. Whilst children need to feel heard, they do not want the responsibility for deciding the arrangements, especially where their parents may be in conflict.

Call on the Wider Family

Planning for a six-week break can be challenging. Call on your support network (if you have one) to help with shared responsibilities. This is also a positive opportunity for children to catch up with grandparents, step siblings and wider family members to re-establish existing bonds or forge new ones.

Taking Children Abroad

There are only two circumstances in which your ex can take your children abroad for up to a month without your permission. The first is if they have a Child Arrangements Order that verifies that a child “lives with” them, or if they secure a Court Order – called a Specific Issue Order – giving consent.

A Specific Issue Order is applied for if your ex does not have a Child Arrangements Order and thinks you are unreasonable in refusing permission. In these circumstances, the Court is asked to consider the facts of each case and decide whether the child should be allowed to travel. We always recommend taking expert advice from experienced family lawyers.

In our experience, a spirit of compromise, co-operation, and flexibility among parents will go a long way to help children make magical memories that they can treasure in later life.

Click here for more articles from Jones Myers Solicitors

ABOUT KATE BANERJEE

A widely recognised leader in Children Law, Kate heads Jones Myers nationally and internationally renowned Children’s Department. She is highly experienced in cases which include contact and residence disputes and child protection law.

Kate also has extensive expertise in international child abduction cases and is a Member of the International Child Abduction and Custody Unit. She is also a Member of the Child Care Panel representing parents, guardians, Local Authorities, and children. Jones Meyers

Is mediation relevant in No-fault divorce

Is mediation relevant in No-Fault Divorce?   

Nicki Mitchell
Nicki Mitchell
Partner
Jones Myers
09 September 2021

No-Fault Divorce – which dispenses with the ‘blame game’ – makes it easier for couples to manage their separation and work together to avoid lengthy, costly, and stressful court disputes.

The ground-breaking changes in the law, which came into effect on April 6, enable divorces to be completed in just six months. They also help separating couples to focus on vital issues such as finances, children, and property.

New time scales include a 20 week ‘reflection period’ between lodging an application and applying for a Conditional Order stating when a marriage will end.

During the 20-week period, mediation can be instrumental in helping couples to negotiate an agreed settlement of the financial issues arising from their separation. This can then be simply provided to the court for approval without any hearings.

We cannot overestimate the importance of addressing the financial consequences of separation, including pensions, insurance benefits, and potential tax implications, and obtaining a court order which confirms how those issues are to be dealt with, before applying for a Final Order which legally ends the marriage.

However, a Final Order of divorce does not, on its own, bring an end to the financial claims which spouses have against each other.

Confidential mediation sessions enable couples to work constructively towards agreed arrangements aligned with the family’s long-term interests.

This measured approach, which keeps communication channels open, can also be key to sorting out the welfare of, and arrangements for, children – whose interests should always come first. Adopting a constructive and united approach can likewise lessen the emotional impact of the split on the children.

It is important that legal advice is taken to support the mediation process – an experienced mediator will guide couples as to when this is needed.

Under No-Fault Divorce, individuals can apply for a Court Order to start the divorce process and, for the first time ever, couples can also submit a joint application on mutual terms.

Irrespective of the divorce process, an early conversation with a family lawyer can help to make informed decisions about the future. Specialist family lawyers often speak with their clients before they make any firm decision to separate and can allay many of their fears.

Click here for more posts 

About Nicki Mitchell

With extensive experience in family law, Nicki specialises in the financial aspects of relationship breakdown – and particularly complex cases involving family businesses, multiple properties, and complicated pension arrangements.

A skilled mediator and collaborative family lawyer, Nicki is also a child-inclusive mediator. The accreditation enables her to who meets with children of separated parents and hear what they want for their future.

www.jonesmyers.co.uk

 

I’ve heard we can jointly apply for divorce from April 6 : Is this True?
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I’ve heard we can jointly apply for divorce from April 6 : Is this True?

Nicki Mitchell
Nicki Mitchell
Partner
Jones Myers

Separating couples can submit a joint application on mutual terms for the first time ever when No-Fault Divorce comes into effect on April 6.

Bringing far-reaching changes to divorce laws, No-Fault Divorce follows a three-decade long campaign spearheaded by family justice group Resolution and supported by family lawyers including our firm.

The process finally ends the bitter ‘blame game’ and eliminates the need for separating couples to prove some form of fault or to live apart for at least two years before being granted a divorce.

If you are among the couples looking to make a joint application, here are the steps to take.

Step 1

As joint Applicants you can both apply for a Divorce Order if your marriage has broken down irretrievably. You must also confirm that you have discussed the possibility of a reconciliation.

Firstly, you will need to agree between yourselves who will be the first Applicant as they will start the process by completing the application. The other spouse will then have the opportunity to complete, review and provide any additional details. Both of you will need to sign a statement of truth confirming the facts in the document are true before filing the application.

Step 2

You lodge a statement with the completed application for a Divorce Order, which confirms that the marriage has broken down irretrievably. You can agree between yourselves how to pay the court fee of £593 for your joint application.

Step 3

The court starts the process, and you go through a 20 week ‘reflection period’ to carefully consider if you are making the right decision before you can apply for a Conditional Order (currently known as a Decree Nisi). This is a court order stating the date when a marriage will terminate unless there is a good reason to refuse to grant a divorce.

Step 4

If, after 20 weeks, you still want to continue the divorce application, you inform the court and apply for a Conditional Order.

Step 5

Six weeks after applying for the Conditional Order, the court can issue a Final Order (currently known as a Decree Absolute) – the legal document that terminates the marriage.

If, during the process you are unable to work together to progress the joint application, either of you can apply for a Divorce Order as an individual Applicant.

A cautionary recommendation is to ensure the financial issues are agreed before a Final Order is granted so that pensions and insurance benefits can be protected.

No-Fault Divorce aims to make it easier for couples to manage their separation and work together to avoid lengthy, costly, and stressful court disputes. An experienced family law firm can help you both with compiling the necessary documents or you can apply jointly online.

Click here for more articles from Jones Myers Solicitors

ABOUT NICKI MITCHELL

With extensive experience in family law, Nicki specialises in the financial aspects of relationship breakdown – and particularly complex cases involving family businesses, multiple properties, and complicated pension arrangements.

A skilled mediator and collaborative family lawyer, Nicki has recently further enhanced her extensive expertise by becoming a child-inclusive mediator. The accreditation enables her to who meets with children of separated parents and hear what they want for their future. www.jonesmyers.co.uk

Are you divorcing? Here’s how the new divorce laws affect you
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Are you divorcing? Here’s how the new divorce laws affect you  

Family Lawyer
Peter Jones
Founder of
Jones Myers
Family Solicitors

On April 6 this year the introduction of No-Fault Divorce brings the most far-reaching changes to divorce laws in the last five decades.

No-Fault Divorce aims to make it easier for couples to manage their separation and work together to avoid lengthy, costly, and stressful court disputes.

Here are some key facts about what the new legislation means.

How different is it from the current system?

Under existing laws, unless couples have lived apart for two or five years, one partner must refer to some form of blame – either adultery, desertion, or unreasonable behaviour – for the marriage breakdown.

No-Fault Divorce removes the need for separating couples to prove fault or to live apart for at least two years before being granted a divorce.

Could we apply separately for a divorce?

Yes, you can individually seek a divorce or submit a joint application on mutual terms.

If my ex filed for divorce, can I contest it?

As the element of fault/blame will be removed, a divorce application cannot be defended.

Will it be quicker to get a divorce?

Yes. Depending upon the circumstances, it can currently take between four months to a year to terminate a marriage and reach a financial settlement.

The new time scales require a period of a minimum of 20 weeks between lodging an application with the court and applying for a Conditional Order (currently known as a Decree Nisi).

This gives couples time to carefully consider if they are making the right decision. If, after 20 weeks, they still want to go ahead, they need to inform the court and after a further 6 weeks apply for a Final Order (currently known as a Decree Absolute).

Will divorce become less expensive?

Yes, as contesting petitions can rachet up costs. Presuming that the court fee of £593 does not increase, the simplified and online process will be less expensive.

What are the benefits?

Removing blame is expected to create a better forum for negotiations relating to children’s arrangements and finance.

Although one or both ex partners may still mentally attribute blame to their former spouse for the breakup, excluding the reference to fault in the divorce application will hopefully create a more inclusive and collaborative atmosphere to discuss and reach a solution.

Will it make dividing assets easier?

Hopefully yes, as again the element of blame will be excluded when the court deals with finances – unless the conduct of either, or both applicants, is exceptional.

It is anticipated that separating couples will be more open minded to discuss financial issues without the resentment that sometimes exists when blame is articulated.

However, it is important to understand that the divorce process only leads to a dissolution of the marriage.

The financial issues arising from the separation will need to be negotiated and the agreed settlement approved by the court. If agreement is not possible, then a separate process will be to be started.

It is essential to take expert advice with regards to the finances as it may be necessary to delay applying for a Final Order to protect pension and insurance benefits.

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ABOUT PETER JONES

Peter Jones is one of the country’s leading divorce and family lawyers. A qualified Arbitrator and Mediator, Peter set up Jones Myers as the first niche family law firm in the north of England in 1992 and has acted for a string of high-profile clients.

Renowned for his sympathetic approach, Peter is the current chair of Resolution’s Accreditation Committee, a former national chairman of Resolution and a former Deputy District Judge. www.jonesmyers.co.uk

How to achieve a positive divorce for all the family
Photo by TienDat Nguyen on Unsplash

How to achieve a positive divorce for all the family

Nicki Mitchel
Nicki Mitchel
Partner
Jones Myers

It’s a well know fact that the impact of divorce on children can be deep-rooted and long-lasting – which is why more separating parents are looking for ways of communicating about their separation in a way which puts their children’s wellbeing first.

An increasing number of separating couples also want to avoid the emotional trauma, stress and expense of litigation and a drawn out court battle.

In a courtroom, binding decisions of huge importance – such as how your financial assets are divided and how much time you can spend with your children – can be taken out of your hands by a Judge.

Mediation is an alternative way forward which puts you in the driving seat. In mediation you and your ex work constructively towards agreed arrangements aligned with your family’s long-term interests.

During mediation you and your ex discuss, confidentially with a qualified mediator, those issues which are most important to you.  With the right mediator, there is no reason why financially complex issues cannot be agreed using the process.

Advantages of using mediation include financial and time savings as the process takes the time it needs to resolve your particular issues. This can be anything from one meeting in less complex cases to several meetings over a few months, where the background issues are more complicated.

This measured approach, which keeps communication channels open, can also lessen the emotional impact of the split on your children.

You will still need legal advice in support of the mediation process and the mediator will guide you as to when this is required. The amount of solicitor involvement is much more limited than in a conventional case however, which makes the legal costs much lower.

Where necessary, agreements reached in mediation can easily be incorporated into draft orders by your solicitors and approved by a Judge to be made legally binding.

The benefits of mediation are being highlighted extensively during Family Mediation Week which runs across January 17 to January 21. Organised by the Family Mediation Council, the initiative is supported by the Family Mediators Association, The Law Society, National Family Mediation, Resolution and the College of Mediators.

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ABOUT NICKI MITCHELL

With extensive experience in family law, Nicki specialises in the financial aspects of relationship breakdown – and particularly complex cases involving family businesses, multiple properties, and complicated pension arrangements.

A skilled mediator and collaborative family lawyer, Nicki has recently further enhanced her extensive expertise by becoming a child-inclusive mediator. The accreditation enables her to who meets with children of separated parents and hear what they want for their future. 

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