civil partnerships - Page 4

45 result(s) found.

Difference Between Arbitration and Mediation

Which Divorce Process? Difference Between Arbitration and Mediation

Published on
Charmaine Hast - Wedlake Bell
Charmaine Hast
Partner and
Head of Family Team

TDM speaks with Charmaine Hast, Partner and Head of Family Team at Wedlake Bell – on Family arbitration as a divorce process.

If you’re going through divorce and are wondering which divorce process to use for your divorce proceedings, you may want to listen to this.

Charmaine Hast talks about family arbitration and the difference between arbitration and mediation.

Questions asked and answered include:

What is Family Arbitration?

Instead of going to court, family arbitration is an easy quick method of trying to cut down on time and legal costs.  You don’t have to wait for a judge to fit your case in his/her list of other cases to adjudicate on a particular day because with arbitration, you choose your judge and you choose your timetable.

What is the Difference between Arbitration and Mediation?

Family Mediation is where the parties work out the terms upon which they’re prepared to agree, whether it’s children matters or  financial matters.  It’s by negotiation and there’s a mediator helping the parties reach a decision.

What you’ve got with arbitration, is that you’ve got two parties who say they’re happy to use the arbitration system, rather than the court system, and what happens is that the arbitrator is actually the person who says to parties, you’ve signed up to arbitration, this is my judgement.

What are the Benefits of Family Arbitration?

Speed!  You don’t have to wait for a court process,  If you issue proceedings today for children matters, you’re first hearing maybe in 2 weeks time or in 3 weeks time.

Is an Award Legally Binding?

Before you enter into arbitration, you’re actually signing a document, which is a standard form, set by the Chartered Institute of Arbitration. 

Both parties sign up to it and you’ll be bound by the arbitrator’s decision. 

The advantage of that is, the arbitrator’s decision is then binding on you, as the parties. Not only will you get a decision which is an arbitrator’s decision, you will also get a decision which is a court order.

Who are Arbitrators and what Credentials do they Have?

There’re retired high court judges, retired district judges, mainly barristers and a few solicitors.

 

Other questions in the interview include:

 Do I still need a Lawyer to Work with me During the Divorce Process?

How does it Work? What does the Process Entail?

Charmaine is regarded as an expert in English Family Law.  She is also a Family Solicitor Arbitrator.

She has particular experience in advising on big-money and big-name divorces. She is able to advise on cross-border money matters and has a particular interest in trusts and pensions.

Charmaine’s practice covers divorce, separation, civil partnerships, pre- and post-nuptial agreements, co-habitation agreements, children issues, abductions and international law.

Contact – wedlakebell.com

 

You might be interested in

technology is changing divorce
/

How Digital Technology is Changing Divorce

Published on
Kerry Smith
Kerry Smith
Head of Family Law
at K J Smith

Divorce has been changing a lot in recent years, but these changes are not just a matter of successive legal reforms and year-to-year changes in rates.

One source of change that is often underappreciated is the impact that the rise of the digital sphere, and in particular the world of social media, has had on the process of ending a marriage.

Digital technologies have changed the world of divorce primarily through introducing a new avenue of investigation and enquiry. Digital records are often much easier to investigate, and much harder to conceal or destroy if you say something you later regret.

This means that communications made directly with your former partner and with other parties can usually be analysed in great detail, as can any angry Facebook statuses or tweets you may have made relating to the divorce process or your former partner. These can have a significant impact on the divorce process, and are entirely capable of impacting the final settlement.

Even a Google search history can have an impact.

As such, digital evidence is playing an increasingly big role in today’s divorce cases, with written communications – whether made privately or in the more public sphere of social media sharing – probably playing the biggest role. It is a lot harder to deny communications that are on written record than things you have said verbally, and it is a lot easier to send an instant message or post a social media update in the heat of the moment and with little thought than it was for our ancestors to send an angry letter.

Modern technologies are also playing a role in bringing about divorces – or at least hastening the end of already-troubled marriages. Once again, social media is probably the most prominent aspect of the modern world in operation here.

The key factor is much the same; digital communications leave a permanent record and in some circumstances can be much easier for somebody to access than traditional communications methods. Such accessing of private communications may be intentional, for example if a spouse already has some suspicions and accesses their partner’s texts or Facebook messages in an attempt to confirm or refute them.

However, it is also quite common for such communications to be stumbled upon accidentally, for example if a spouse is looking for something else on a partner’s phone, or if one person has left their social media accounts active on a shared computer.

As you might imagine, adultery cases are the biggest group to which this is relevant. Messages that prove or provide supporting evidence for adultery suspicions can be the final triggering factor for divorce, as can incriminating or suspicious photographs that have been shared on social networks.

In other cases, what is discovered may be “virtual adultery,” online flirting with or without “actual” infidelity taking place, and this could still hasten or trigger the end of the relationship. However, similar principles can apply in cases where there is no infidelity at all. If a marriage is already going through difficulties, it is entirely possible for one partner discovering unflattering things their partner has said about them to friends, for example, to prove to be the final straw.

Kerry Smith is the head of family law at K J Smith Solicitors, a specialist family law firm who deal with a wide range of issues including divorce, domestic violence, civil partnerships and prenuptial agreements.

 

You might be interested in

Cohabitation Agreement: Why and How to Protect yourself in all Eventualities

Published on
Vanessa Fox Partner and Head of Family Law, hlw Keeble Hawson
Vanessa Fox
Partner and Head of Family Law,
hlw Keeble Hawson

More people than ever before are choosing to live together without ‘tying the knot’ – as reinforced by research from the ESRC Centre for Population Change.

Yet, with Relate reporting that separation among cohabiting couples is running neck-and-neck with the divorce rate, it is vital that they know the legal ramifications of their status and are not left disadvantaged by it.

Despite the government’s attempts at promoting marriage and civil partnerships, it is estimated that around six million people in the UK now simply live together – with the numbers set to rise, according to reports from the Centre of Social Justice.

However, these couples have no legal status and, contrary to popular belief, ‘common law marriage’ is not a legal entity.

Whereas there are clear rules in England and Wales regulating the finances of divorcing couples – and who gets what when a spouse or civil partner dies – there is no provision for live-in partners.

There are no specific laws to protect separating cohabitees and they usually have no automatic entitlement to anything upon the death of their partner, no matter how long they have lived together.

The death or separation of a cohabitee can therefore lead to some knotty legal complications that the law is poorly equipped to address at present. This can result in expensive litigation to resolve them, often based on complex property and trust rules – which can in turn result in outcomes that neither party necessarily intended.

There is, however, a simple, relatively inexpensive solution to all of this, albeit a little known one.

For while increasing numbers of couples are entering into pre-nuptial agreements before marrying, to plan in the best of times for what should happen in the worst of times, many cohabiting couples are unaware that they can do something similar.

Having a cohabitation agreement in place could avoid financial and emotional trauma later on.

This can give both partners peace of mind by making clear in the case of a split or death:

  • Who will own the home you live in or intend to live in – and, if jointly, the shares
  • Who will pay the bills, including any improvements or renovations to the home
  • What will happen to the property if the relationship ends or should one of you die
  • Whether the survivor can stay in the property after the death of the other and, if so, for how long
  • How any children, including those from previous relationships, will be protected financially

The first step is to make contact with a legal practice with an experienced, respected team of family and will and estate planning specialists to discuss your specific circumstances and what you need to consider.

Acknowledged the latest Legal 500 2015 Guide as ‘Extremely bright and resourceful’, Vanessa has amassed almost three decades of experience in family law and has been head of the family law team at Keeble Hawson since 1991.

An accredited mediator, Vanessa is also a Resolution accredited expert and has been Chair of South Yorkshire Resolution since 2013.

A member of the Law Society’s Children’s Panel, Vanessa receives instructions from Children’s Guardians. She is also accredited by the Law Society Family Law Panel.

Vanessa’s work is typically characterised by sensible and practical advice that supports a speedy and pragmatic resolution.

You might be interested in

Government Promise Domestic Violence Legislation Reform

Published on
Kerry Smith
Kerry Smith
Head of Family at
K J Smith Solicitors

Did you know that in a recent survey of 2,000 people, just one out of every five of the respondents believed that it was easy to spot domestic violence?

Less than one third of them believed that domestic violence could happen between former partners.

Domestic violence is, generally, considered to be physical or verbal abuse. However, psychological and financial abuse can also occur.

The latter two are dreadfully difficult to spot, and even harder to prove. This means that many people who commit that type of domestic violence are actually getting away with it.

The problem is many people do not recognise certain situations as domestic abuse.

For example, less than half of the respondents believed that keeping a tab on the spending of a partner is abuse. This means that many people could be carrying out domestic abuse, even if they are not aware of it.

That being said, the Crown Prosecution Service has put a lot of effort into ensuring that those who commit domestic abuse are punished for their crimes.

In fact, in 2014, over 107,000 people, the vast majority of them men were prosecuted for domestic abuse-related crimes. This is a far higher number than ever before.

Michael Gove, the justice secretary, pledged to reform domestic violence legislation. At the moment, he believes that it is far too easy to reoffend. He also believes that the length of time that a trial takes from start to finish is a form of abuse in itself, as some cases take a couple of years to get to trial.

Gillian Guy, currently working for Citizens Advice, believes that it was a good sign that the government are starting to tackle domestic violence properly, or, at least, entertain the notion of making improvements to the law.

She believes that the reforms that the government is proposing is likely to reduce the amount of stress it takes for a victim to get the help that they need, either on a legal basis, or on a basis where they can be helped psychologically and ensured that it is not their fault.

She also believes that reforms in legislation may have an impact on the recognition of abuse. As mentioned previously, many people do not realise that they are a victim of domestic violence and are less likely to report it.

New legislation will also aim to make coercive control illegal and ensure that those who try to control their partners, even after a separation, will feel the full force of the law.

Sadly, at the moment, there is still very little being done when it comes to legal aid.

As you may well know, a person can only apply for legal aid in domestic violence cases if they have evidence of domestic violence in the past two years. Sadly, many victims do not have the evidence that is required and, therefore, people are not being punished for their crimes.

More articles by Kerry Smith

About Kerry Smith

Kerry Smith is the head of family law at K J Smith Solicitors, a specialist family law firm who deal with a wide range of issues including divorce, domestic violence, civil partnerships and prenuptial agreements.

You might be interested in

What is a Pre-nup?

Published on

Why you need a pre-nuptial agreement even if you’re not filthy rich

Ann Corrigan founder of Clarity Family Law
Ann Corrigan founder of Clarity Family Law

Nigella Lawson was glad to have entered into one before her marriage to Saatchi, whereas Dragon’s Den tycoon Duncan Bannatyne claims to have lost most of his wealth through his divorce because he hadn’t signed one before saying his vows the second time.

We’re talking pre-nups, of course. These formal pre-marital agreements are in the news again because the Law Commission is expected to propose this week that they become legally enforceable in Britain.

Ann Corrigan, specialist family lawyer and founder of Clarity Family Law in Buckinghamshire, gives the lowdown on pre-nups and explains why you should care – even if you’re not filthy rich.

 What is a pre-nup?

A pre-nup is a formal agreement/settlement entered into prior to marriage or a civil partnership.

It is used to set out who owns what at the time of the marriage and how the couple plans to divide these assets if they should split up.

Some people, including religious leaders such as Roman Catholic bishop, The Right Rev Mark Davies, argue that deciding how to separate before tying the knot undermines marriage, whereas others simply feel it’s unromantic.

what is a pre0nupHowever, the sad reality is that around 43% of marriages in the UK and Wales end in divorce and if you’re not prepared, you could find yourself in a very unenviable financial situation, as Duncan Bannatyne appears to have done.

A pre-nup is a good idea in most marriages – particularly as couples often tend to get married a bit later nowadays, which means they’re likely to have accomplished some wealth of their own by that time.

The idea of the agreement is to protect or ‘ringfence’ their individual wealth and/or any inheritances they may bring into a marriage, should they decide to separate.

It becomes even more important in the case of marriages/civil partnerships later in life or second marriages/civil partnerships where there may be children from a previous marriage or where one partner moves into the already-owned home of the other.

A pre-nup can contain more than just how to split your wealth – in the US they often contain clauses about how the couple should dress, how often they should exercise and even how often to expect sex!

Are pre-nups legally binding in the UK?

At the moment, no – and that is what the Law Commission is expected to propose next week – to make pre-nups legally enforceable.

But even now, since a landmark decision in Radmacher v Granatino, the court is likely to attach weight to such an agreement PROVIDED the following criteria are met:

  • If both parties entered into the agreement freely
  • If both understood the implications of what they were agreeing at the time
  • It is fair to hold the parties to the agreement

So, how can you make sure your pre-nup is upheld – as the law stands now

  • Obtain independent legal advice, which helps to show both parties understood the agreement.
  • Full financial disclosure (both parties should be 100% honest about what they own) to show that they were fully aware of the financial implications of the agreement
  • The agreement must be entered into freely to prevent one party alleging later that they entered into it under duress or undue influence.
  • Ensure it is realistic and fair
  • Provide for future changes – circumstances change, so most pre-nups should only be valid up until the birth of the 1st child or for up to 5 years.

This is a complex area of the law and one where taking specialist family law advice at the outset could save heartache and dire financial circumstances later on.

Ann Corrigan

Follow on Twitter

Don’t forget to follow The Divorce Magazine on youtube!

You might be interested in

Dating After Divorce: Are You Ready?
/

Dating After Divorce: Are You Ready?

Published on
Mila Smith
Mila Smith
Certified Relationship & Dating Coach
“From Single to Couple” Relationship & Dating Consulting

Love rarely follows a straight line. Relationships end, new ones begin – it’s a natural, ongoing cycle. If you’re thinking about taking the plunge and giving love another shot, there are a few things to keep in mind.

Let’s Talk About Divorce – and Why It’s Not a Failure

We tend to idealise lifelong marriage… In reality, it can be hard to achieve and it’s not for everyone.

In fact, research shows that serial bonding – forming long-term relationships for several years before moving on to new partners – used to be the norm for millions of years. According to evolutionary theorists, it was beneficial for genetic variety.

It’s highly likely that permanent monogamy became the rule when humans began farming and settling down. Staying with one partner became a practical arrangement tied to land, property and survival.

Today’s evolving gender dynamics and relationship patterns aren’t necessarily new. In a way, some of them are a return to ancient norms. I believe we’re very lucky indeed. For the first time in history, we have the freedom to pursue the kind of relationships we want without fear of judgment.

If you’re carrying scars from your past relationship, know this: divorce is not a failure, for the reasons explained above.

“A second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.”

This well-known quote is often attributed to Oscar Wilde, and sometimes Samuel Johnson:

It’s funny – because it’s true… but only when we fail to learn from the past and keep making the same mistakes.

Sometimes, people do try to learn – but draw the wrong conclusions. For instance, someone may swear off a particular “type” because their ex had certain traits or attributes, even though those traits may not have caused the breakup at all. In psychology, this is called direct reinforcement, and it doesn’t always serve us well (read more here).

Choosing the opposite of your ex is a simplistic approach and not always a wise or strategic move. It’s important to understand what led to the relationship demise, and which attributes made you happy.

One thing’s for sure: humans are serial monogamists. We must be eternal optimists because when a bond ends, sooner or later we find ourselves longing for connection again and searching for a new mate.

“Call it what you will, the human penchant to divorce and form a new bond with another is worldwide,” writes Helen Fisher, PhD in her Anatomy of Love.

Tips for Dating and Re-partnering Success

Many of us secretly find rules and formulas comforting as they tend to explain the world in a structured way. Take various rules around dating….

How soon should you start dating after a significant breakup or a divorce? There are several urban myths, for example, a persistent belief you must wait a month for every year you were in the relationship before considering another one.

But then, other people will tell you the best way to heal and get over someone is to start dating and find a distraction!

The truth is, according to research, there’s no prescribed amount of time you have to wait before dating again. It’s very individual and depends on your situation and state of mind.

If you spent years in a “dead” relationship, you could be already emotionally prepared to move on. Whereas, if your previous relationship ended abruptly, you’re likely to need more time to process and heal, which can be a few weeks, a few months, or for some, even a few years.

The longevity guidelines don’t apply here – but this self-assessment will help you understand if you’re ready.

5 Signs You’re Ready to Date After Divorce

  1. You no longer feel much towards your ex

This includes both positive and negative attitudes. You may think if you hate your ex, then you’re ready to move on because you’re clearly no longer in love with them. However, hate is another strong emotion, which will inevitably interfere with your dating journey and any future relationship.

The key motivation to let go of your anger is your own wellbeing. Avoid getting stuck in a negative space as it affects all areas of your life, including your health.

Plus, obvious bitterness towards your ex-partner is not an attractive look in the eyes of your potential dates. I hear many clients complain about dating men or women who just want to “rant” and berate their exes incessantly.

Conversely, are you still pining for your ex and compare everyone you meet with them? Another sign you need to work through your emotions before attempting to date again.

We all have some good memories of our past relationships and can’t wipe our memory clean. Remembering those moments fondly is only natural, but try to think of them as events which happened to you as an individual – not necessarily courtesy of your ex.

Can you detach your memories from your feelings for that person?

Your aim is to feel neutral towards your ex no matter how good or bad your relationship was, or how it ended. There are methods and exercises to help with this, so if you are struggling, please contact me for support.

  1. You can see your past objectively

Too many people skip this step because it’s very easy to find someone to blame for your past misfortunes. Some people blame themselves, most blame their ex-partner, ex in-laws etc. Try to look at your patterns objectively.

Did you rush into a relationship and ignore the red flags?

Did you choose to see only what you wanted to see?

Perhaps, you were the one who was unreasonable towards your spouse? This can be hard to admit, but do it for yourself to be able to moderate your behaviour going forward – it’s not a public disclosure.

Either way, try to forgive yourself, your ex and “file” the information for future use. Experience is invaluable – this is the best thing about mistakes turned into life lessons.

Taking a critical look at your past relationship patterns will really help you minimise potential stress and find a shortcut to happiness (read more here).

  1. You can identify your new relationship goals and needs

The emphasis is on “new” because your goals are likely to evolve and change throughout your life, especially following a divorce. Don’t assume you’re just going to pick it up where you left it before you got involved with your previous partner.

Chances are, you also changed on your journey, so think about your current goals, and what you want from life in general. Only then can you identify your new relationship goal (be it marriage or a more casual arrangement) and what you need from a potential partner.

Be very specific! It’s astounding how many people are oblivious to their own needs. By default, we assume we understand ourselves very well and know exactly what we need. However, we often learn the hard way and discover we might have been taken by various love and relationship myths and cliches planted in our heads by parents, mass media or religion.

Forget everyone else’s expectations. What do you want and need? If you don’t understand your goals or fail to communicate them, how do you expect anyone to meet them?

  1. You are ready to trust someone

According to science, most people have a default to truth: our operating assumption is that the people we’re dealing with are honest.

This is known as TDT (the Truth-Default Theory). Apparently, most of us are much better than chance at identifying people telling the truth, and much worse at correctly identifying liars (especially, convincing liars). This is not necessarily a weakness but just part of being human which allows social groups, communities, and civilizations to exist and develop successfully. Otherwise, we’d always be pulled apart by suspicion and doubt.

Having said that, anyone who’d been hurt in a relationship tends to have their faith in people shaken and left with general mistrust. Understandably so!

However, harbouring mistrust towards all other men or women is not the answer. Fortunately, the world is full of genuine single people, like you, who want to share, commit and trust again.

Will you be able to give them a chance and trust again? You can do so in a safe manner, being cautious and taking things slow. Time is your real ally. No one is suggesting life-changing decisions after a few weeks or months of romance.

If you feel you can be open, gradually share personal information with someone and, in turn, accept the same from them – that is one of the reliable signs you’re ready to date again.

  1. You’re ready to care about someone

Undoubtedly, a relationship is a two-way street. Dating is a path towards a relationship, so it does require a degree of caring and emotional availability.

Are you open to having someone else’s best interests at heart? Do you think you’ll be prepared to care about them? See yourselves as a couple, in “we” rather than “I” terms, known as mutuality?

Again, some distance is only reasonable to begin with, but do ask yourself if there is, potentially, room in your heart for one special person.

If you’re still closed to the idea of caring about someone and sharing your life with them, try to tread carefully. Put yourself in other people’s shoes: what if they happen to be ahead of you on their journey. If they fall for you, they could be hurt by your reluctance to commit further.

You see, frustration is often the main cause of relationship trouble: when hopes and expectations do not match reality. This can be pre-empted by having a sincere conversation early on.

Explain your situation (for example, a traumatic divorce or concerns about your children) and the fact you may need more time to progress to the next level in a new relationship. Most people will find honesty disarming. And if it’s too much to ask, they’ll carry on their separate way, which is only fair.

 

The Evolving Landscape of Re-Partnering

Researchers find that re-partnering has become more complex and harder to track. Many people now choose not to remarry, opting instead for long-term partnerships or living-apart-together arrangements where they remain committed but don’t cohabit.

The key takeaway, in my opinion? There’s no single “right” way to re-partner. What matters is that your new relationship is more intentional because hope is not a strategy. Happy, lasting partnerships rarely happen by chance.

Conclusion

Dating after divorce is not about a strict timeline or a set of rules. It’s about understanding and accepting your emotions, learning from your past, identifying your new goals and approaching new relationships with clarity and intention.

With the right knowledge, intention and support, you can build something better: a successful remarriage or re-partnering isn’t just possible, it’s within reach.

About Mila Smith

With over 20 years of experience in relationship management and a science-backed approach, I help men and women break unhealthy patterns, attract the right partner and build a happy, lasting relationship. ​​

​​If you’re planning to run a marathon, what do you do? You arrange training with a qualified coach even though, technically, you’re capable of running. You can enlist the same kind of help when it comes to dating and relationships

Do you want to do it right this time round and find love that feels like home? Now, you don’t have to do it alone anymore. There is a clear, science-backed way forward and we’re here to guide you through it.​​​​ Read more if you want to take charge of your love life.

I’ve been featured in the Daily Mail, The Mirror, HELLO!, Yahoo, BBC The Late Show, Newsweek and many other outlets. Click to check out my media coverage.​​​

Let’s talk! Call 07970564204 or email mila@single-to-couple.com

Visit www.single-to-couple.com

Follow on Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn

You might be interested in

The Impact of Alcohol on Relationships
Photo by Vinicius "amnx" Amano on Unsplash.
//

The Impact of Alcohol on Relationships

Published on
Dr Farrukh Alam
Dr Farrukh Alam
Lead Consultant Psychiatrist & Medical Director
Addcounsel & Orchestrate Health

The impact of alcohol on relationships is widespread and whilst drinking is often an enjoyable part of many different social activities, for many people, it can also be a source of conflict in their relationships, especially when consumption is excessive. Alcohol is normalised across many cultures, yet even though it is not harmful in moderation, it can also be problematic when used to excess especially in an already strained relationship. In some cases, alcohol misuse can put a serious strain on intimate relationships and has the potential to lead to separation issues in some couples and can negatively impact a relationship to the point of breakup or divorce.

How excessive alcohol use can affect a relationship:

  • Create intimacy problems and decrease in sex drive!
  • Lack of emotional availability and affection
  • Impaired judgement, increased irritability, and extreme mood swings
  • Feelings of depression and anxiety
  • Negative effect on family dynamics
  • Questioning of shared values
  • Levels of respect
  • Mistrust

Potential physical health problems of alcohol misuse include:

  • High blood pressure
  • Increased risk of heart and liver disease
  • Cancer of the breast, colon, liver, throat, and mouth
  • Weakened immune system.

If you’re worried about yours or a loved one’s drinking habits, ask yourself if:

you feel you should cut down on your drinking

other people have been criticising your drinking

you feel guilty or bad about your drinking

you need to drink first thing in the morning to steady your nerves or get rid of hangover

Signs of excessive alcohol use

Excessive alcohol use can have dire effects on the affected individual, whether their level of alcohol use is mild, moderate, or severe. If you believe that someone you love may have an alcohol use disorder, there are some common signs that can help you in figuring it out. If you wish to help yourself, or someone you know who may be affected, speak to a professional as soon as you can.

Approaching a person about their alcohol use can be a touchy subject, and without a careful and informed approach, the individual may feel attacked or confronted, meaning that a positive response is unlikely. If you feel like alcohol has been affecting your relationships, speak to an addiction professional, like a counsellor or an interventionist. They can guide you on how to best approach the situation and help you maintain your own balance and security throughout.

Dr Farrukh Alam BSc, MBChB, MRCPsych comments: “Relationship problems are a common result of alcohol use disorder as alcohol can change a person’s personality and this can have a detrimental impact on intimacy and partnerships. Where alcohol misuse has been established over a long period of time, the whole family dynamic may grow and shape itself around the addictive behaviour, often resulting in unhealthy, sometimes toxic relationships either between a couple, parent/child relationship or both and left untreated, alcohol use disorder can negatively impact a marriage, storing up trauma for future generations. However, people don’t have to suffer alone, talking to an expert can have great effectiveness in helping couples and families who are struggling with a substance use disorder”.

About Dr Farrukh Alam

Dr Alam is an internationally renowned expert in assessment and treatment of drug, alcohol, and other addictive disorders. He is accredited as having specialist expertise in this field by the GMC and, for over 25 years, has treated thousands of patients with a variety of addictive disorders.

After completing his medical training at the Universities of St Andrews and Manchester, his psychiatric training was carried out at national drug and alcohol units at The Maudsley Hospital, London. He is a member of the Royal College of Psychiatrists and has specialist accreditation in general psychiatry and treatment of addiction. He also holds the position Associate Medical Director for the NHS Central and North West London Foundation Trust.

In  July 2018,  he joined luxury rehab Addcounsel and sister company leading private community mental health service Orchestrate Health as Lead Consultant Psychiatrist and Medical Director. Dr Alam has a commitment to providing the best quality care and is responsible for the clinical safety of all patients. Working with people struggling with affective mood disorders, his specialist area is addiction (chemical and behavioural), helping people with alcohol, drug, and other compulsive behaviours, to achieving recovery and maintaining a happy life.

He has presented on the topic of addiction to a wide audience, including international conferences, House of Lords, and is widely published in international literature and media.

Dr Farrukh Alam holds Medico-Legal Expert’s Certificate, accredited by City University London & The Inns of Court School of Law. He has prepared psychiatric medico-legal reports for 25 years and prepares approximately 40 reports a year.

His current national roles include Clinical Advisor to the Civil Aviation Authority.

For more information or to arrange an interview with Dr Alam, please contact Natalie Clarke at Love PR London natalie@loveprlondon.com or call 07796 675950.

More about Addcounsel and Orchestrate Health

Offering expert private treatment for a range of addictive and mental health disorders, Addcounsel treat just one client at a time in luxury private accommodation in London, providing 24/7 medically led care from highly qualified mental health care professionals including doctors, psychiatrists, nutritionists, therapists, and addiction specialists. Addcounsel provides complete anonymity to high net worth and ultra-high net worth individuals and their families, for whom group recovery simply wouldn’t work. The model has proven highly successful and Addcounsel has treated hundreds of clients from around the world.

Orchestrate Health is London’s leading private community mental health service supporting patients and enabling them to be cared for online and/or at home by providing live-in mental health specialists, home assessments and daily visits from professionals within the mental health field.

You might be interested in

Marriage is going 'out of fashion' today's Census reveals
Photo by HiveBoxx on Unsplash

Marriage is going ‘out of fashion’ today’s Census reveals

Published on
Abby Buckland
Abby Buckland
Family and Divorce
Partner
Kingsley Napley

The latest Census on marriage and civil partnership status in England and Wales, released this morning, shows that the number of people getting married is at the lowest rate on record and the median age of those getting married is increasing.

The data also suggests a divergence of approach to traditional relationship structures between generations. While more people are choosing not to marry or form a civil partnership at all, this is being seen in a far greater proportion in younger age groups.

The biggest increase in this trend is evident in the 25 to 29 years age group, where 73.9% chose not to marry or be in a civil partnership in 2011 rising to 84.2% in 2021. The increase for those aged 30 to 34 years was from 49.2% to 58.9% between 2011 and 2021.

Today’s data confirms that marriage is falling “out of fashion”. These statistics should add weight to the importance of the Government bringing proper focus to the rights of cohabiting couples.

Disappointingly, reform in this area was effectively shelved by the Government at the end of last year, a decision which, this data shows, could leave huge numbers of individuals without effective legal protections should their relationships end.

Click here for more articles from Kingsley Napley

About Abby Buckland

Abby is a Partner in the Family and Divorce team in Kingsley Napley who undertakes matters involving all aspects of private family law and in particular complex financial issues and private children cases.

You might be interested in

/

What is the Role of the Family Mediator in Dealing with Indifference?

Published on
Paul Sandford
Paul Sandford – Civil Mediator and Tribunal Judge

“The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.”

This very insightful sentence, written by the renowned philosopher and academic, Elie Wiesel, essentially explains why so many partnerships and marriages flounder or fail.

In some instances, the split that is announced to friends comes as a surprise.  Neither they nor even the parties to the relationship themselves ever saw this coming.

After all the friends say, “neither of them of them was unfaithful and there was never any suggestion of abuse or nastiness”.

Some of these indifferent couples may get counselling or guidance but others may simply decide that enough is enough and take steps to formally terminate their relationship.

Some may end up in a room with a family mediator giving financial disclosure and discussing what arrangements should be made for their children. It may be that instead of one or either of the parties making what some would see as explicit or unrealistic demands, the mediator is confronted by a party who cannot be bothered.

An example of this would be one party not maintaining adequate levels of contact with the children of the relationship even where there is no objection to him or her doing so.

Family mediation is a voluntary as well as a flexible, confidential process that allows for the possibility of reconciliation.

In the course of separation one of the parties to a relationship, or indeed both, could decide to try and salvage the relationship. If they are in mediation their mediator will explain to them that they can either withdraw completely or else suspend the process for a fixed or even an indeterminate period. This might give them time to consider their options, possibly to try to regain what they once had and to  begin to build up trust in one another.

In these circumstances, is there a role for the mediator particularly as he or she must not adopt the mantle of counsellor or therapist?

Role of the Family Mediator in Dealing with IndifferenceThe couple who are thinking of reconciling may either not go back to living with one another straightaway or have not yet reached the point that they feel able to discuss matters without some external input. If they decide to retain separate households, even in the short term, there may still be financial matters such as maintenance and child related issues such as contact to be resolved.

It might be that the initial split was caused by a couple’s disagreement about the best way to discipline and care for their children and they might benefit from the drawing up of a parenting plan.

Alternatively they may conceivably be in dispute about the running of a family business or the status of an extension built to accommodate a relative. One of the parties to the relationship may be in dire financial difficulty and irrespective of any wish to try and reconcile, may consider it necessary to take steps in order to protect him/herself and their children. Moreover, a couple’s therapist or counsellor may have advised that progress cannot be made until some legal issues are resolved and it well may be that skilful and timely input from a mediator saves the day.

In such cases, the family mediator has a vital role to play. He or she will very possibly change emphasis and no longer specifically use terms such as “divorce” or “clean break,” but the process of a mediator helping to facilitate an agreement may still be required.

What if it really is too late for a reconciliation and one or both parties simply decides that there is no point in considering reconciliation and opt to forge ahead?

In such circumstances, if the parties decide that that is what they want, the mediator may simply carry on with “plan A” and in the fullness of time a mutually acceptable settlement may be reached.

In the face of indifference from one or both parties part of the role of the family mediator is to accentuate the positives so as to help them to communicate better. In so doing the mediator will be able to help a couple to foster an improved level of trust that will enable them to reach an agreement and to behave towards each other in a more civilised manner.

Without this input which family mediators routinely provide and which helps disputing parties to overcome indifference in addition to  enmity or dislike, any negotiations or discussions may fail. If so there may be less likelihood of a divorced or separated couple communicating effectively with one another, perhaps for years to come.

About the Author

Paul Sandford ( http://www.albertsquaremediation.co.uk/ ) is an accredited civil mediator and Tribunal Judge. He is also an associate of a Birmingham-based firm of solicitors, My Business Counsel.

He mediates for a leading UK charity and has the benefit of having worked as a solicitor for around 25 years.  He has also worked as a trainer and university lecturer and has considerable experience of working with people who are disabled or who do not have English as a first language.

As well as being Regents University accredited, Paul recently completed ADRg civil/commercial and family training .

He has particular  knowledge and experience of housing, property/commercial, medical and public law issues and employment, workplace, family and educational disputes. He is a member of two mediation panels: Clerksroom, which has excellent conference call facilities, and the Business Mediation Group. In his spare time Paul enjoys cooking, football, test cricket and listening to the blues, and fundraises for his school.

You might be interested in

1 2 3 4