Linzi Perriman

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Could Switch Therapy Save your Marriage?

Published on
Linzi Perriman
Associate Solicitor in the Family team at
Gorvins Solicitors

You may have heard of ‘switch therapy’ from the popular Channel 4 programmes Seven Year Switch USA and Australia where four couples are assisted by two relationship experts, Dr Dan Shapiro and Dr Jessica Griffin who specialise in relational trauma, high conflict and divorce in an attempt to save their marriages.

Why use Switch Therapy?

The doctors report that the seven year itch is where the shine has fallen off the marriage.

Statistically at seven years is where you have more complaints about your partner and marriage than you have good things to say about it. It is a time in which many couples stray or separate.

Although Dr Griffin has said couples do not need to be together for seven years to experience the ‘seven year itch’ and many couples struggle from the get go. The doctors report that unfortunately for a lot of couples no matter how hard they try over 50% of couples will end in divorce so they believe it’s time for a different approach.

The Experiment

For two weeks four couples leave their lives behind to live with a complete stranger as their experimental spouse who has been chosen to fulfil aspects or personality traits which they think they are missing in their real marriage. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity to get paired with someone who could offer them the life they may have wondered about.

We’ve all heard the quotes “absence makes the heart grow fonder” and on the flip side “out of sight out of mind” but the doctors are quite clear that the experiment is not about matching people so that they fall in love with their new partner, it’s about helping them to figure out how to make changes in their real marriage so that they can make decisions about their real lives.

Some people might argue that the grass is not greener on the other side and that you cannot possibly work on your marriage if your spouse isn’t there with you. However the experts Dr Shapiro and Dr Griffin provide the couples with exercises and tasks to complete during the two weeks, which really make them evaluate themselves and their behaviour within their relationship and that of their partners to give them a new perspective on their marriage.

The Decision

After two weeks the couples have to decide whether they want to stay with their real spouse or go their separate ways and divorce. One of the couples is reported to have said there is a method to the madness and when you go to extreme measures you get extreme results.

It remains to be seen whether something so radical will be trialled in the UK, but it just might be a new approach to saving marriages which we hadn’t considered previously.

Could Switch Therapy Work in the UK?

I cannot see why not. Couples could attend counselling for years and never get the type of insight into their relationships t

hat switch therapy offers. The therapy has had great results in the US and Australia but it won’t be for everyone, it’s extreme and intrusive. It’s aimed at couples who have tried everything else to save their marriage – for them this really is the last straw. I suspect that were it offered in the UK the cost would be a deciding factor, unless Channel 4 decide to film ‘Seven Year Switch’ in the UK. But what’s the alternative if you’ve exhausted all other options? Harmful behaviours in a marriage ultimately destroy it, so for many the unconventional process of switch therapy could be the rare opportunity to save their marriage.

If you are thinking about divorce, or any family law matter, give our specialist family and matrimonial team a call on 0343 507 5151 or fill in our online contact form and we will call you back when it is convenient.

About Linzi

As an Associate Solicitor at Gorvins Solicitors‘ Family and Matrimonial department Linzi Perriman regularly advises clients in relation to divorce, financial and property disputes, adopting a constructive and conciliatory approach consistent with Resolution’s Code of Conduct.

Linzi also provides advice to Police Federation members across the country about how to protect their financial and pension assets on divorce.

Linzi adopts a pragmatic style by successfully achieving negotiated settlements on behalf of clients outside of Court proceedings, often involving property or business interests, in an attempt to save clients’ money and ensure that legal fees do not outweigh the assets available.

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divorce mortgages

Are ‘Divorce Mortgages’ a Thing of the Future?

Published on
Linzi Perriman Associate Solicitor in the Family team at Gorvins Solicitors
Linzi Perriman
Associate Solicitor in the Family team at
Gorvins Solicitors

According to the Office for National Statistics, divorce rates in England and Wales were higher in 2013 when compared with 2003 for men and women aged 50 and over, commonly referred to as “silver splitters”.

Last month my colleague wrote about the rising trend of ‘silver nups’ and how they can be used successfully to ring fence pre-existing assets.

It seems that lenders are finally recognising the statistics and are considering bringing a new product to market before 2017 called a ‘divorce mortgage’ which enables one party to stay put in the family home to avoid the trauma of moving.

The idea behind the product is that it will allow one spouse to borrow enough money for a set period of time to buy out their ex-partners’ share in the property.

What is not clear at this stage is the lending criteria – on the surface it appears to cater for divorcing couples of all ages and the length of term spouses will have to repay the amount borrowed is unclear – will it vary on individual circumstances or will it be a set term and what level of interest will be charged?

Selling or Staying in the Matrimonial Home?

According to the Nationwide, around 30% of divorcing couples sell the matrimonial home because either party cannot afford to continue to pay the mortgage and outgoings on their own.

This usually comes down to the fact that the mortgage was granted on the basis of two incomes, which means lenders often want the spouse wishing to stay in the home to make a capital contribution to increase the original deposit to around 25% of the value.

Some lenders will take into account child maintenance, benefits, tax credits and spousal maintenance in addition to earned income when assessing a spouse’s mortgage capacity going forward, but many do not.

The result of the stricter affordability checks introduced by lenders two years ago has made re-mortgaging even more difficult, but not impossible, for divorcing couples.

Selling the family home can be difficult for many especially where there are young children, as parents often want to retain as much stability as possible during divorce. However for some selling the family home is welcome and represents a fresh start.

A divorce mortgage may be helpful to a spouse with a decent income (but a lack of capital) who can afford the mortgage repayments but it may be of little assistance to a spouse with a more modest income.

It remains to be seen whether the divorce mortgage will become a silver bullet to cure the upset and disruption of having to sell the family home, or whether the practicalities of trying to divide one pot of money into two will still see spouses selling up for years to come.

About the Author

As an Associate Solicitor at Gorvins Solicitors‘ Family and Matrimonial department Linzi Perriman regularly advises clients in relation to divorce, financial and property disputes, adopting a constructive and conciliatory approach consistent with Resolution’s Code of Conduct.

Linzi also assists litigants in person via the Resolution free legal advice clinic at Manchester Family Court and mentors students studying the LPC at the University of Law.

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